It was a beautiful morning. The birds were chirping and the plants were radiating with life. Nothing about that morning matched Merlin's mood. Merlin knelt down at the roof of a tree, gathering mushrooms for Gaius and placing them in a basket. He hadn't asked her to, but she was doing it anyways.
Merlin was waiting. She was waiting to hear the screeching of a griffin so that she could drop her basket and run away, trip over a root, and while she would be just about to be eaten, she would hear a battle cry and he would be there to save her. But the griffin didn't come and neither did he.
Once her basket was full, Merlin walked slowly over to the fallen tree that they had hid behind and sat against it. A hot tear ran down her left cheek. "It was supposed to be me," Merlin whispered for what seemed to be the thousandth time.
That's where Percival had found her, hours later. Lancelot had told him about the first time he had met Merlin, so he figured he would find her there. Merlin had taken Lancelot's death the hardest out of all of them. It made Percival wonder what had happened while Lancelot and Merlin were separated from the group.
Percival sat down next to Merlin. "What are you doing here?"
"I was hoping he would come," she admitted.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Merlin shook her head.
"Everyone's worried sick about you. Arthur's about ready to send out a search party."
"I didn't know he cared."
"He cares about you, Merlin. We all do." Not even Percival knew to what extent the truthiness of his words were.
"I miss Lancelot. I want him to come back."
"As do I."
Merlin looked at Percival for the first time since he sat next to her. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot that you two were good friends."
Percival shook his head. "It's alright. Come, we should head back before Arthur throws a fit." Percival stood up and offered a hand to Merlin. She took it and he helped her up.
Their walk back to Camelot was silent, but not in an awkward way.
"Ah, Merlin!" Gwaine met them at the bottom of the castle stairs. "Thank you, Percival. I can take it from here."
Percival narrowed his eyes but left after giving Merlin a gently squeeze on the shoulder.
"We haven't spoken in a while, Princess. I wanted to see how you were doing."
"I'm sorry, Gwaine. I've been a little... out of it."
"Don't apologize, Cassandra." Gwaine offered his elbow to Merlin.
With a giggle, despite how sad she was feeling, Merlin took it and they began walking up the stairs.
"I blame myself for what happened," Gwaine told her quietly. "If I hadn't been so reckless... maybe he'd still be here."
"Gwaine, none of this is your fault."
"You don't know that, Princess. Perhaps... It could have been me instead of Lancelot. I could have gone through the veil and you wouldn't be in such pain."
"Oh, Gwaine..." Merlin stopped walking and faced him. She let go of his elbow and he held both of her hands in his. "If it were you... I'd be in the same pain. You know I love you."
"But not like you love Lancelot. It's okay, Princess. You don't need to hide it from me. Just... Please forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive, Gwaine."
"Please?" Gwaine's hazel eyes were full of such sorrow.
"Alright. I forgive you."
Gwaine softly kissed her hands. "Thank you." Merlin kissed him on the cheek. Then Gwaine held his elbow out and Merlin took it again. Gwaine led Merlin to Lady Morgana's chamebers. "She asked to see you," Gwaine explained. "I'll let Arthur know you're safe."
"Thank you, Gwaine."
"Anytime, Princess." With that, Gwaine walked away to go find Arthur.
Merlin watched him leave and then turned towards Morgana's door. She knocked twice and then poked her head inside. "Morgana? Gwaine said you wanted to see me."
Morgana pulled Merlin inside. "Perfect timing, Merlin!"
"Hello, Merlin," Gwen said.
"Hi, Gwen. So what do you need me for?"
Morgana grinned. "I'm so glad you asked. We've noticed you've been very down lately-"
"For good reason, of course," Gwen added.
"So we decided to have some fun tonight. I even begged Arthur, and he gave us permission. Plus, my father won't be there, so we won't get in trouble. Unless Gaius catches us, of course."
"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked.
Gwen led Merlin over to Morgana's vanity mirror and made her sit down. "Have you ever noticed that you and Morgana look very similar?"
"Er, I guess?"
"We're going to have you and Morgana switch places during the night and see who notices!"
Merlin laughed. "That's ridiculous. How did you come up with this idea?"
Morgana shrugged. "That's not important. So will you do it? For us?"
Merlin hung her head, knowing that there was no getting out of it. "Fine."
"Perfect! With a bit of makeup, we'll be nearly identical!"
"The biggest problem will probably be your bangs, Merlin. Morgana doesn't have those."
"We can pin the front back," Morgana said cheerfully.
One hour, two beautiful dresses made by Gwen herself, and a touch of makeup, later, Merlin and Morgana were practically twins. And just in time for the feast.
Morgana went in first for the feast. When the dancing begun, she switched out with Merlin. "I don't know about this," Merlin protested.
"It will be fun," Morgana insisted. "And Gwen will be right there with you. Right Gwen?"
"Of course, my lady."
Gwen led Merlin into the ballroom. They stood there for a few minutes, having a light conversation, until Arthur made his way towards them. "Might I have the honor of dancing with my dear sister this evening?" Arthur asked with a slight bow and an extended hand.
"I don't-"
"She would love to," Gwen said, pushing Merlin towards Arthur.
"Gwen!"
"Go!"
Arthur helped Merlin place her hands in the proper spots as they began the dance. "You look lovely tonight, Morgana. Or shall I say, Merlin?"
"Why thank you. I'd say you look nice as well, but that would be a lie."
Arthur rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "In all honesty, you do look quite beautiful. You and Morgana should switch places more often."
"Socializing isn't really my thing."
"Well, it's that or pour wine for all the members of the court, and we both know you're terrible at that."
Merlin laughed. "I'm better than you'd ever be."
"I don't have to be good at it. I'm the prince." The song ended and they pulled away. As a formality, Arthur bowed and kissed Merlin's hand, which he was still holding. His ears were slightly red. Merlin turned to leave after a quick curtsy, but was stopped by Arthur. "One more thing..."
"Hmm?"
"It's nice to see you smiling."
Slightly dumbfounded, Merlin walked back over to Gwen. "He called me beautiful," she whispered. "And he knew it was me."
Gwen was not surprised at all.
Not even a minute later, Leon showed up, also to ask Merlin to dance. Once again, Gwen forced her to do it.
"How have you been, Merlin?" Leon asked as he twirled her.
"As well as can be. How did you know it was me?"
"I'll admit it took me a little bit to recognize you. You look very similar to Lady Morgana."
"That was the point, Sir Leon."
"Yes, well, the dress you are wearing really brings out your eyes."
"That makes no sense."
"Your eyes are blue. Morgana's are green."
"Oh."
"It's alright. I assume this was her idea?"
"You assume correctly."
"Morgana has always been the trouble-maker... Though I wouldn't call this trouble." The song ended and like Arthur, Leon kissed Merlin on the hand. "Perhaps I will see you later tonight, Lady Morgana."
Merlin giggled. "Perhaps, Sir Leon."
Merlin made her way back to Gwen but was intercepted by Elyan, who was holding two glasses of wine. "Two dances in a row, Lady Merlin." He handed her a glass. "You must be tired."
"Thank you, but I'm no lady. Well, in the noble sense."
"So how did you know it's me?" Merlin took a sip of the wine.
"My sister has been working on that dress for a week. She wouldn't tell me who it was for at first, but I got it out of her eventually. You look beautiful tonight, as always."
Merlin's cheeks colored themselves a light pink. "Thank you."
Before Elyan could say anything else, Gwaine joined them. "Elyan, my friend. I hope you don't mind if I steal the lovely lady for a moment."
"By all means," Elyan said, though he seemed a little annoyed.
"Thank you, my good man."
Elyan bowed his head and walked away.
"So this is why Morgana wanted to see you?"
Merlin sighed. "Has anyone been fooled so far?"
"I think Gaius has yet to find out. I heard him asking Gwen where you are."
"Really?"
"Yes. By the way, you look... wow."
"That bad?" Merlin joked.
"What? No! You look beautiful. I knew you were a princess."
"I'm just pretending Gwaine. I'm no royal."
"But you're a royal to me, Princess. You know this."
Merlin rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You know, I'm surprised you're not completely drunk by now."
"Heh, I wish. Arthur banned me from the ale for a week."
"Oh you poor thing."
"I know! But if he hadn't, I probably wouldn't have realized it was you and that would be quite a shame, so I suppose I have to thank Arthur for that."
"Right. And how did you figure it out?"
"I'd recognize you anywhere, Princess Cassandra."
"No, seriously."
"I am being serious. And I would kiss you, but we best not spread rumors that the Lady Morgana and I are courting, so I guess I'll have to settle for this." Gwaine took Merlin's hand and kissed it with an exaggerated bow. "I think Gwen is waiting for you."
"I'll see you later then?"
"Of course."
As Merlin walked towards Gwen, Percival fell into step next to her. "And who's idea was this?"
"I'm not sure I know what you mean."
"Merlin, we both know it's you."
"It was Morgana's idea."
"Ah. You'll have to thank her for me. I would ask you to dance, but I'm about to go onto guard duty. Perhaps next time."
Merlin smiled. "Perhaps."
Percival walked away towards the doors and Merlin finally made it back to Gwen. "Did they know?" Gwen asked.
"Every single one of them."
Gwen laughed. "Well the gala is nearly over. Shall we go switch with Morgana?"
"Yeah, let's go. That was plenty socializing for the night."
"I'm sure."
-
Morgana met Merlin and Gwen in her chambers after the gala had finished. Merlin had already changed back into her normal attire. "That was... surprisingly fun," Merlin said. "Thank you, Morgana."
"Of course! I hate those events anyways. We should do it again."
"Uh, I don't know about that." Merlin stood up from where she was sitting. "I better head over to Gaius' chambers. I don't want him to get worried... or suspicious. Here." Merlin held the dress out to Gwen, but she didn't take it.
"You keep it. It's a gift."
"Are you sure? I've never had anything this nice. I'm afraid I'll ruin it."
"If something happens to it, I can fix it. Keep it, Merlin."
"Alright. Thank you for tonight. I haven't smiled that much since... a while."
"Any time, Merlin. We enjoyed it too."
As an apology for killing Lancelot and for the sad beginning of this chapter, here are my concept sketches for Merlin. They helped me to visualize her better. They're just sketches so they're not that good, but, ehhhh.