Nicole's eyebrows folded in the center, confused as Michael smiled wider then bolted towards the patio door. He fumbled with the locks before pushing his way out and sprinting for the pool. He could hear Nicole yell, "cheater!" as her short legs tracked behind him. His toes at the edge, Michael paused, quickly lifting his baggy sweater overhead and tossing it to the grass before feeling Nicole's firm push against his back. They hit the water simultaneously. Then quickly resurfaced panting and laughing, the cold water sloshing through their clothes as a nice refresh from the heat rising in Michael's bedroom. For a long moment they paddled around quietly.
Nicole: I'm sorry I got weird in there, I just--
Michael: I know. It's okay.
She didn't need to explain herself because Michael felt exactly the same way. Aside from the conversations today and mild flirting on the phone, the two had never discussed sex before. To grow from a taste of early-morning lust to sharing a bed was more than Michael was ready for. But if their relationship did grow intimate in that way, Michael wanted their first time together to come from a place of love, not a surge of passion. He knew they weren't ready. Not yet.
Nicole: Since you started, I get the last question. Okay?
Michael: Alright.
Nicole: Truth or dare?
Michael: Truth. Always.
She wanted to word the question carefully, but the alcohol made it difficult.
Nicole: You said it was 'physically impossible' that you'd fathered a child, yes?
Michael: Umhm, that's right.
Nicole: So, I take that to mean that you've never, uh... 'done the deed,' so to speak... But what's the farthest you have gone? You know, in that way... With a girl...?
Michael: Oh boy...
Michael slowly dove his head underwater until his hair soaked up the moisture like a sponge, then exploded back to the surface with a deep breath. Clearing the wetness from his face, Nicole watched the heavy drips fall to his shoulders and chest, proudly defined under his thin white t-shirt. His face was strong and more serious than usual.
Michael: I uh-- I lived in New York for the summer... Two years ago, when we were shooting for 'The Wiz.' It was a lot of fun, you know, we'd go out to dinners a lot, the whole cast, and see shows and go dancing... There's this one club, it's called Studio 54... It's so great! I'd never been to a place like it before. Everyone just danced with everyone, boys or girls and even transgenders. Gay or straight, all races. None of that mattered. Just all people! And everyone dressed so great! The coolest shoes and stuff and funky hats, and you know, some just wore nothing at all. It was so free and beautiful... It's the only disco in the world you could feel that joy and love and escapism. Everyone felt it. It's the same way I feel at my shows, but it's different being on stage and the world is watching me... At 54 I felt like I was in it, you know? Like I was just like everyone else in that way.
Michael paused again to watch his hands, tapping the water to see the waves reverberate. He could find beauty in the smallest things. A simple drop of water. You drink a glass every day. You would die without it. But too much could drown a man. Or a car. Or a whole city.
Michael: So, uh, there were a couple times where I'd, you know... Get an offer. It wasn't about falling in love or getting married or any of that. There was no romance in it, not in that way... It was just about feeling good and making other people feel good... You just-- when you're dancing with all these beautiful people-- and not even just physically beautiful but spiritually and emotionally... Everyone is smiling and friendly and holding each other in that way-- You get so lost in it. So swept up in the moment...
She waited for him to finish, but it didn't seem like Michael was ever going to actually answer the question.
Nicole: ... So you?
Michael: Oh, um, you're right. I've never, uh-- 'done the deed.'
Nicole: But you've done other stuff?
Michael: Yes.
Nicole: Kissing?
He smirked for a moment.
Michael: Sure. Lots of kissing.
Nicole: And uh... A handjob?
Michael: Jesus...
Michael groaned before splashing water on his face again and leaning against the pool wall. He hated the words, but he'd rather she say them than him. He let out a slow exhale as he watched the waves push through his fingers.
Michael: Yes... and--
Nicole: A... Blowjob?
Michael: Yes-- But that's it! That's the furthest.
Nicole: That's it?
Michael: Mmhm.
Nicole: And you, uh, received those... Services?
Michael: Yes?
Nicole: You never reciprocated, I mean? You know, the female equivalent...
Michael: Oh no, I was way too shy for that.
She watched as he continued passing the water through his hands, wondering what Michael found so captivating that he refused to look at her. Then Nicole wondered if he were embarrassed.
Nicole: ... Do you ever wish you hadn't? Gotten swept up in the moment, I mean.
The pool felt like an ocean. Nicole was a million miles away when Michael finally looked up. The water pulsed under her blouse, making it float at the water's surface. Her hair was dark and heavy, pressed away from her face. He wondered what she was thinking. Did she want him to wish he hadn't engaged? Michael knew he was speaking with reservations, but it wasn't because he was ashamed. Actually, Michael carried a fondness for every one of those encounters, appreciating human sensuality and the knowledge he gained about his own body. The hesitation was simply in the fact that Michael had never spoken to anyone about this part of his life before. Softly, he shook his head.
Michael: No. I don't regret anything.
Wading in the middle of the pool, Nicole watched Michael and nodded her acknowledgement. She never knew what to think with him. First that naked woman's letter... Then champagne and awkward dancing... Then underwear and biting off socks and that kiss and now she's standing in a pool, fully dressed, soaking wet, and cold and--
... All she could think was to laugh.
Starting as a breathy chuckle and quickly growing to tear-induced snorting, Nicole laughed. First at the irony, then, plainly because she couldn't stop. Michael expected anger, or sadness. Surely another "you're disgusting," but he never would've guessed this. Covering her face, Nicole tried to compose herself as Michael wondered closer.
Michael: ... Are you laughing at me?
Nicole: No-- no, I swear--
She was cut off by a tidal wave of water splashing her in the face. Still laughing Nicole gasped, then laughed harder as Michael mimicked the "ooh" sound her mouth made. He laughed and splashed again.
Nicole: Hey, quit it!
Michael: Yeah? Or else what?
Her splashes were weak compared to his, barely reaching Michael's chin, while his blinded her. He was quick in the water, turning his back or diving under in half the time it took Nicole. She finally grew tired and when the right moment struck, Nicole leaped on his back making Michael squeal. Pressing her elbow against his chest, she forced him to beg.
Michael: Gah! You're choking meee!
Nicole: Say 'Uncle!'
Michael: Never!!
She pressed harder as Michael tried to swing her off, but Nicole's grip and thighs held tight. She laughed mischievously in his ear.
Michael: Gahhh!!
Nicole: Say it!
Michael: No!
Nicole: Say it...
Michael: Gahh! I don't wanna!
Nicole: Say--
Michael: Uncleeeeeee!!
Quickly releasing him, Nicole fell back to the open water. Holding his shirt, she maneuvered herself to see Michael's smiling face. His wide hands were soothing his own throat.
Michael: I think you were trying to kill me.
Still breathing heavy, Nicole reached up to pinch his face. She laughed hard when he flinched away, so she opened her palms instead, holding Michael's angled jaw fully between both hands. Then she kissed him. It felt like a lifetime had passed since their lips last met. Much had happened since that final dare. Michael's arms hooked around her, raising Nicole's weightless body close to his. And when their lips separated, Michael held her tighter, pressing his cheek to hers in an embrace that felt so perfectly right.
And there they stayed for a long moment as Michael hummed softly in her ear. He cared for her intensely but Michael knew he was no good at relationships. Hoping this wordless melody would translate in saying all the things each needed to hear, "I like you," and "I accept you," and "thank you for sharing your life with me."
When he finally released her back to the water, Michael's mind raced for something thoughtful or romantic to say. But nothing came out. Instead, he told Nicole to stay still, while he ran inside for towels.
Michael returned a few minutes later with an armful of colorful beach towels. Nicole was already out of the pool and was wearing the blue sweater he'd left laying in the grass. Her pink shirt was on the ground in its place. She was struggling to step out of her soggy jeans when Michael came to help, holding her by the elbow.
Nicole: Thanks. Sorry, I'm so impatient sometimes.
Michael: Oh, that's okay...
The sweater hung casually off one shoulder, revealing the black bra strap Nicole had shown him earlier. Wrapping a towel over her shoulders, Michael dried her ears and neck, adjusting her dripping hair as he admired the way she made that old sweater look so good. As Nicole picked up her clothes, absentmindedly taunting him with her bare legs, Michael stepped away to peel off his shirt glued to him by water, ringing the excess back to the earth.
Michael: Can I ask you something?
She looked up, but didn't answer, distracted by Michael's naked back and strong shoulders. He crossed his towel around his neck like a superhero.
Michael: Why did you never pick 'truth?'
Nicole hesitated before leading the walk away from the pool.
Nicole: What do you mean?
Michael: The whole game you only picked 'dare.' You never picked 'truth.' Is there something you're afraid of me asking you?
She groaned, then laughed dismissively.
Nicole: Well if there were, I definitely wouldn't answer that question.
Michael sighed as they continued to walk. He hadn't realized how dark it had gotten. The sun had set on this long day. Fatigue was now fighting them both.
Nicole: I didn't mean anything by that Michael, I just--
Michael: I just wish you'd tell me if you're hiding something.
Nicole: I'm not! What do you think, I'm just one of these women trying to take your money?
Michael: ... You know I don't think that. You've never asked me for anything.
Nicole didn't respond, knowing he was right. Michael was always quick to give-- to anyone-- she'd witnessed it on multiple occasions. She wasn't sure why she said that at all.
Nicole: I didn't--
Michael: If I knew this was going to upset you, I wouldn't have brought it up.
Nicole: Well then I wish you hadn't.
Michael: ... Why are you being so nasty?
Nicole: I'm not!
Michael: Yes you are!
Nicole: Then why won't you just drop it!?
Michael: Then why won't you just tell me!?
His tone was mocking and defensive. It was an endless argument that made no sense on either side, but neither wanted to let their egos lose. Frustrated, Nicole stopped walking and turned to him. He looked like a boy again with soft eyes and round cheeks, his hair like a ball of black cotton candy. Holding out her hands she began to count.
Nicole: You're smart. You're talented. You're beautiful. You have a great career. Your family is delightful. You always try to better yourself-- and me, and literally the whole world! You're just so... Perfect!
She pivoted to walk again but Michael blocked her a step ahead. He hated being called "perfect," and Nicole of all people, should know this by now. She was deflecting.
Michael: That's the dumbest thing you've ever said to me.
Nicole: Oh, so now I'm dumb!?
Michael: No! But I know you're too smart to think that dumb stuff you just said is true!
She danced around to continue the trek as Michael spoke loudly next to her.
Michael: I'm only talented because it's all I've ever known. I didn't play games and stuff like other kids-- I worked. That's all I ever did! And that's all I know how to do now. Work! And that's why I read and try to better myself, because I was homeschooled and I'm afraid to be stupid. So I study and teach myself everything-- Everything!-- Because an education is the only thing that no one can take away from you. And yes, I want better for the world, because I've seen the world and I know how good it can be if people would just BE NICE and love each other instead of being so nasty all the time!
They were back on the patio now but Nicole didn't know the door code. She was trapped, rolling her eyes, as Michael continued his defense.
Michael: And you've only met the girls. Just wait til you meet Joseph and my brothers. You won't think us Jacksons are so great after that.
Again, she knew he was right.
Michael: And, well, the beauty thing... I-- I can't help that.
He shrugged with a sweet grin that made her groan.
Nicole: Oh please...
Michael: But I'm not perfect. I'm human, just like you.
Nicole: Okay?
Michael: Say I'm not perfect!
Nicole: Will you just let me in please?
Michael: I'm serious, girl, say it!
Nicole: Michael Jackson is not perfect.
Michael: ... Why'd you have to say it like that?
Nicole: Michael, I'm freezing. Will you please--
Before she could finish he put in the code and opened the door, then pulled her quickly by the arm as soon as it shut.
Michael: I'm not going to drop this.
Nicole: I really wish you would.
Michael: But why!?
It was hard to look at him, Michael's eyes riddled with concern and sincerity. She didn't know what to say. Truly, Nicole had no words. So she shook her arm free and kept walking.
Michael: Where are you going?
Nicole: Bathroom.
Leaning against the closed door, she looked around the room. Two vanities, one cluttered with makeup and stage accessories, the other naked with only a toothbrush and an abused tube of paste. There was a beautiful glass shower, lined and backed in black marble. And in the opposite corner, a huge soaking tub of the same material, with a window view looking out to the mountains.
She wanted to scream. Her head pounding with frustration she couldn't explain. Nicole wanted to throw things... But she didn't have the strength. So she walked over to the mirror to wash her face. And there, written centered on her own reflection, with red lipstick in Michael's one-of-a-kind writing, were the words, "Do not EVER give up!"
Turning on the faucet, Nicole twisted the tap as high as she could. Then, very quietly, she started to cry.
By the time she emerged, several minutes later, Michael had changed from his wet clothes into simple striped pajama pants and a fresh white t-shirt.
Michael: There's some clothes on the bed that should fit you okay. If you want to change, I'll take you home.
Nicole:... Okay.
Michael: I'm going to make a sandwich... Do you want anything?
Nicole: No, thank you. Michael, I--
But he put up his hand to silence her.
Michael: Don't, it's okay. I dropped it.
~*~*~
Michael drug his feet down the hall to the kitchen as thoughts poured in and out of his mind.
When did everything turn so ugly?
All she had to do was say "truth," just once! And maybe he could've ended the fight a little sooner, but she got so angry so fast. If Nicole had just been studying, none of this ever would have happened! Though... Then none of the good stuff would've happened either. This was definitely one of the best nights Michael had in a long time.
Maybe it was the alcohol?
He knew it could have strange effects on people. Never again would Michael allow her to drink! Nicole shouldn't be drinking anyway, she's too young. Eh, what's that matter these days...
Or maybe... Possibly?...
Was Nicole on her period? But, they were in the pool... You can't swim on your period, can you? Or is that just the ocean cause of sharks? Hmm, he wasn't sure. But that must be the cause for her moodiness, right? In which case she should be fine again in a day or two...
Right?
Michael shrugged again, returning the jelly to the fridge before mushing the bread together. He'd made an extra sandwich for her, just in case. Maybe she was cranky because she was hungry? We've all been there! A little food in her belly, Nicole would be good as new! With the sandwiches and two apple juices Michael returned down the hall to his bedroom.
Michael: Hey, I made you a--
He spotted Nicole curled up in the corner of the bed. Setting the food down, he cautiously stepped closer, careful not to bump into anything as the room seemed to grow darker by the minute. She hadn't changed clothes, still wearing his oversized sweater that concealed her hands and left a shoulder bare. The damp towel hung on her legs. Her breathing was smooth and soft. Nicole was sleeping. Closer again, Michael removed the towel making her stir and raise her arms a little higher under her head. He got to see the pink panties again, but it wasn't exciting like the first time.
He covered her.
Then, noticing how beautiful Nicole was when she wasn't being mean, Michael kissed her and whispered, "sweet dreams."