Next day. Morning. At the Bunker.
Dean and i walked inside.
Sam was there typing something on his laptop.
He looked up and smiled "and? how was it?"
I walked up to Sammy and put a hand on his shoulder "it was amazing, Sam. I mean, i got shot, then i died, Dean found me dead and killed himself to make a deal. He couldn't do a deal because for some reason i was still breathing and then we found each other again"
Sam froze before nodding "sounds fun"
Dean rolled his eyes.
Me "if you even think about sending Dean and me out for "bonding time" again, i will shoot in the head"
He nodded "i know"
I nodded "good. "
Night. In my bedroom.
I groaned annoyed when i heard a knocking on my door.
I opened my eyes and looked to the door.
Dean was standing there with his phone on his ear.
I nodded and he walked in and sat down on the bed.
He put whoever was on the phone on speaker.
Crowley "Are you not hearing me? I said I have in my possession the solution to our collective problems. You should be doing a jig."
I rolled my eyes, annoyed.
Dean " I don't jig. Now, how do I know you even escaped Lucifer and he's not making you say all this?"
Crowley" Honestly, you cynicism is depressing. Why would Lucifer force me to discuss the very means of his destruction?"
Dean asked me confused "What are you talking about?"
Crowley " A weapon... one that channels divinity. Yes, powerful enough to help destroy a force like the Darkness, or Lucifer. Tell me you haven't been searching for such a thing.
Dean "A Hand of God? Of course we have."
Crowley" Thought as much. St. Louis. The old post office on Beekman."
Crowley hangs up and watches the truck drive by below.
Dean rolled his eyes annoyed "Crowley."
The line went dead.
Dean looked at me and i shook my head annoyed "no"
He nodded "yes"
I rolled my eyes tiredly "i am still tired"
Dean "Len, you've slept for 10 hours."
Me "so? how long were you asleep?"
Dean shrugged "two hours"
I nodded.
Dean "get dressed .We got to go "
At the old post office.
The brothers and i walked into the abandoned warehouse.
Dean looked at Crowley "Nice digs. The Crypt Keeper out of town?"
Crowley "I'm lucky to be alive. Lucifer had me trussed up like a dog in my own palace.
Dean "Palace"? Oh, you mean the abandoned nuthouse "
Crowley " He kept me in a kennel! "
I smiled amused.
Crowley " And he turned all his demons... my demons... against me. They scour the earth, day and night, looking to kill me. He has to be dealt with."
Dean asked annoyed " So is this why you brought us here? Some lousy grudge match with Lucifer?"
Sam nodded " Yeah, where's this, uh, Hand of God you were talking about?"
Crowley "I'm getting to that. Your only hope of subduing Amara is to match the level of power that she possesses."
Dean " No kidding. And?"
Crowley "And I have the Horn of Joshua."
Sam asked confused " Joshua? As in the Joshua that won the battle of Jericho?"
Crowley "And I'm willing to entrust it to your capable hands. What? I just said I'd give you the thing."
Sam and Dean " If...?"
Crowley asked annoyed " Is this how you say "thank you"? You think these things grow on bloody trees?!"
Dean said annoyed " Cut the crap, Crowley. With you, there's always an "if"."
Crowley " Fine. I will give you the Horn "if" you help me exorcise Lucifer from Castiel's vessel and then return him immediately to the Cage."
Sam nodded " Oh, that's all? Huh."
Dean" Okay. And where is this horn?"
Crowley" Safely hidden, naturally."
Dean nodded "Yeah."
Sam "Crowley, even if we could exorcise Lucifer out of Cas, the Cage is damn near impenetrable. It took a spell from the Book of the Damned to spring Lucifer, and Rowena hid the book."
Dean "And we would need both the book and her to even have a shot."
Crowley "Did I say this would be easy? No. I did not."
I rolled my eyes.
Sam " Do you even know where Rowena is?"
Crowley "Rotting somewhere, I assume. Lucifer snapped her neck."
I nodded "finally"
Dean looked at me irritated.
--
Dean " Hold on, okay? Let's just put it in reverse. We will put Lucifer back in the Cage after we put Amara back on ice. It has to happen in that order, otherwise there is no Lucifer, there's no Cage, there's no nothing."
Crowley" He's spent years marinating in hate against us! He has to go."
Sam "Problem is, we may need him."
Crowley raised his eyebrows.
Dean " He's been down this road with Amara before. He might be the only one powerful enough to use the Horn against her."
Crowley "He had me cleaning the floors with my tongue! He called me "puppy"! He made me beg!"
Dean " All right. Come on. Is this what this is about? Huh? Your stupid ego? The fact that he dissed you in front of a bunch of stupid demons? You're smarter than this. Come on!"
Sam" Dean's right. Priority is to put the Horn in Lucifer's hands and set him loose on Amara."
Dean"After we exorcise Lucifer out of Cas and put him into a new vessel."
Sam asked him surprised "What? Really?"
Dean nodded "Yes, really. We're not gonna send Lucifer into battle inside Cas. What if he doesn't make it?"
Sam" Dean, it's a strong vessel. It's held Cas for years, and we know what he's been through. I'm guessing it can hold Lucifer."
Dean " "It"? It's not an "it," Sam. It's Cas."
Sam " And Cass wanted to do this."
Dean"Yeah, well, there's times I want to get slapped during sex by Len wearing a Zorro mask. That don't make it a good idea."
My jaw dropped.
Crowley nodded, impressed.
Sam "Dean, this is exactly how we screw ourselves. W-We make the... the heart choice instead of the smart choice."
Dean"Oh, okay. Thank you, Dr. Phil. Cas is family."
Sam nodded " Yes, and his choice deserves to be respected."
Dean " Even if it kills him?"
Crowley" It's killing me. I would rather stick white-hot skewers in my eyes than listen to you two bitches bicker! I gave you the terms of my deal. If Lucifer's not back in the Cage, the Horn stays hidden."
Sam"You know, this is a dick move, Crowley. Even for you. You're not being reasonable."
Crowley" I don't have to be reasonable. I'm the king."
Me "A king who cleaning the floors with his tongue! Who got called "puppy"! A King Lucifer was able to get to beg. Let's face it, Lucifer bested you. Your demons don't respect you anymore. But all that could change if Lucifer disappears."
Crowley raised an eyebrow.
Suddenly there was this noise.
Dean pulled me closer to him "What the hell was that?"
We walked outside and looked up.
Lightning broke through the swirling clouds, while thunder crashed.
Dean " You know what, fellas? I think that's her."
We walked back inside.
Sam "Okay. So now we all just saw what happens when she's in a bad mood, which, apparently, she's been in since the dawn of time."
Dean "I think she just rattled heaven with a flick of her pinkie finger. That's not a big enough dose of reality for you?"
Crowley asked irritated " Why are we arguing? We all know that he has to go back in the Cage."
Dean " Yes, when it makes sense. Amara's the big picture here now, okay? Look, in order to take her out, Lucifer has got to have the Horn of Joshua. He does her, we do him. Check, please."
Me "Crowley, ticktock. You with us?"
Crowley" The crux of your dispute is your contention that Lucifer, and only Lucifer, can use the Horn to beat Amara, right?"
Dean" You got it."
Crowley" Well, that scenario only works if you actually possess said Horn, which you do not."
Sam breathed out frustrated "No, we don't. But you do, so..."
Crowley yelled " Exactly! I do! This isn't a negotiation. I have the high cards, and you have... Hold on. Give me a second. Let me have a look... no cards! My offer stands."
Dean " When we sprung Lucifer from the Cage, we had Rowena and the Book of the Damned. Both of which we will need to put him back in the Cage, both of which are gone."
Suddenly i saw something cutting itself into the concrete and froze.
Me "Guys"
Dean "Back to you."
I yelled "Guys"
Then i pointed at the concrete.
They looked at the spot.
BACK FROM THE DEAD FERGUS!
Inside a Church.
Dean spray-painted warding onto the floor.
Sam held a wooden cross.
I looked around and froze when i saw Rowena standing there waving at us.
Sam " I hate this."
Dean nodded " Yeah."
Sam" And, by the way, where the hell is Crowley? I mean, we're essentially all set up."
Dean" Yeah, I mean, he's the one that boxed us into doing this. You'd think he'd have the decency to..."
Crowley showed up " Show up? He does. Because without the bait, well... a trap really isn't a trap, is it?"
Sam scoffed and pointed at the Horn in Crowley's hand " That's it? Doesn't look like much, does it?"
Crowley "First impressions can be deceiving, Moose. For instance, I once thought of you as dull and plodding. Oh, never mind. Bad analogy."
I smiled.
Dean"For the record, we still think this is a bad idea. We should be using Lucifer, not icing him."
Crowley nodded " I'm aware. So I'll be standing right here should you hesitate. The hand that giveth can so quickly taketh away."
Dean nodded annoyed "Yes, we getteth it."
Crowley: looked at Rowena " So, Mummy, you were telling us your fascinating tale of resurrection. But you never did say exactly where you'd been this whole time."
Rowena"Same as you, Fergus. Hiding. Once the Dark Prince knew I was alive, I wouldn't be."
Crowley " No mucking about like last time. The warding and the holy fire won't keep an archangel but for a moment. If he shows up at all."
Dean" Oh, he'll show. He's too hungry to take Amara out, and we've got the blaster to do it."
He tossed a match into the potion to begin the spell.
Dean read the parchment " In nomine magni dei nostri Satanas, introibo ad altare Domini Inferi. I summon you to make an offer. The weapon by which its bearer can crush the Darkness forever."
Thunder crashed.
Lucifer appeared, standing on the painted warding.
Dean yelled "Sam, now!"
Sam lit a match and dropped it onto the holy oil, which lit into a ring of fire around Lucifer.
He was trapped.
He smirked and looked at Sam, who was also scared.
Lucifer "I'm sorry. Your prayer implied that I'd be... joining the team, but I'm just not feeling the warm and fuzzy here. "
Then he saw the Horn, he was not impressed " Wow. There it is. Powered up by Dad himself. Well, that bad boy plus me... That ought to take her out all right. Let's get to it. Douse the flames. Or don't"
Dean cut his hand and pressed it against a spell etched on the wall.
Lucifer started to shake, as Castiel woke inside him.
Dean " Cas! Castiel, show yourself!"
Castiel breathed heavy " Dean?"
Dean"Cas."
Castiel asked confused "What are you doing? What's... What's going on?"
Dean" Cas, listen to me. We don't have a whole lot of time, okay? You have got to..."
Suddenly Lucifer was back on the steering wheel.
Dean " Cas."
Cass was still fighting.
Crowley took a step back.
Dean "Castiel, show yourself!"
Lucifer laughed " Oh-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Uh, he's got to what? You boys... , ooh, you almost had me there for a minute, but these mail-order spells... they're just not what they're cracked up to be, are they?"
Dean " Cas, expel him! You got to kick Lucifer out! Do you hear me?!"
Lucifer" Honestly, I think he's happy with the arrangement. I mean, he did invite me in and all, Dean."
Dean yelled, desperately " Cas!"
Lucifer mocked him "Cas!"
Dean glared at him annoyed, frustrated and pissed off.
I raised an eyebrow at them.
Lucifer"Hand over the weapon. What do you say? Or we can just wait for this warding to fail and I'll take it."
The spell-work died and the warding began to fail.
Crowley rolled his eyes annoyed " Bloody hell."
He smoked out of his meat-suit and entered Lucifer.
We just looked at each other confused.
---
Sam " You know, he's been gone a long time. I mean, what do you think is going on?"
Dean" I don't know. Maybe Cas isn't willing to play ball. I mean, you said it yourself... he wanted this."
Rowena asked pissed off " Can't you people do anything right?! Whilst all this dithering goes on, we're losing time! Look... the warding's beginning to fail."
Dean looked at Cass "Come on, Cas. What the hell?"
Suddenly i heard a sizzling.
I turned around and looked at Crowley's meat-suit. There was something carved into his forehead.
Me "guys"
They looked at it.
There stood HELP ME.
Sam grabbed the cross "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas...omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis con.....potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis....legio diabolica, adiuramus te! Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te!"
Dean was tossing holy water onto to Lucifer as Sam continued the chant.
Suddenly, red smoke exited from Lucifer and Crowley was back in his own meat-suit, gasping.
Me "Crowley."
Crowley "Useless. Lucifer's hold on him is too strong."
Rowena yelled "Lads, the fire!"
It died down.
Rowena hid behind the door.
Lucifer"Ah. Trick me? You lied to me. You know, I could have been your warrior. "
He smiled "Ah. Who needs ya? "
Sam went to grab the Horn but Lucifer made it appear in his own hand.
Crowley "Well. "
Then he vanished.
Lucifer "It's just like Crowley to leave right when the party's getting started. Have a seat. "
Suddenly we were forced to sit down.
Lucifer "As much as I get a giggle out of you three, and I do, there comes a time when every relationship has... run its course. So..."
He closed his fist and we began to choke.
Lucifer smirked.
Suddenly there was an explosion and a gaping hole appeared in the church.
Lucifer turned to see Amara enter the room.
Amara" Oh, Lucifer. Dear nephew, my, how you've changed. "
Lucifer smirked.
Amara gestured to Rowena " I was tracking her when she left my side."
Lucifer" You were safely sealed away. You're gonna wish you'd stayed there."
He held up the Horn of Joshua and it glows red as he absorbs its power. His eyes turned white and he conjured a ball of fire into his hand.
He aimed it at Amara, throwing a beam of white light to engulf her.
Amara didn't even move an inch.
She lifted her hand and drew Lucifer towards her.
He dropped the Horn of Joshua.
Amara cupped her hand on Lucifer's face" I think you and I need to have a nice, long chat."
Dean yelled "Cas?"
Amara turned to look at Dean.
She raised her hand to release us from Lucifer's grip.
Suddenly Amara and Lucifer vanished.
Rowena ran away.
The boys and i looked at each other.
Me "now we are screwed"
At the bunker.
Dean walked to us with beers.
Sam " So, Rowena and Crowley... like mother, like son, huh? They both took exactly one split second to take off when things started going south."
Dean nodded " Yep."
it was the third round of beer for all three of us.
Sam" By the way, what's Rowena doing with Amara?"
Me " My guess... she's playing the odds. When sucking up to Lucifer didn't work out, maybe she thought Amara was the best bet. Then she heard Lucifer had a shot, so she switched horses again."
Sam" I thought Lucifer had a shot. Apparently, uh, archangel plus God power doesn't trump God's sister."
Dean" But if the thing has to be used by God's chosen, then maybe an archangel who got the boot doesn't qualify. Either way, horn's out of ammo, so..."
Sam" So, back to square one."
I took a big sip of my beer.
Dean sighed, nodding "Yep. "
Sam"Listen, um... I know I came down on the side of wanting Cas to deal with Amara, so..."
Dean "Well, that's what he wanted, though, right? Besides, didn't we say that we were gonna swear off getting in the way when one person makes a choice the other doesn't agree with?"
Sam nodded " Yeah, um... Yeah, we did say that."
Dean " So..."
Sam"Okay. So, that's our policy."
Dean" Which sounds damn good. Well, let's go find that idiot and bring him home."
I nodded.