Lara's POV
Alannah and I spent the day watching films. My body ached and well I didn't want to do much. I just wanted to chill.
"Hey you guys." Nicole says walking into the living room with David behind her.
"Hiya!" Alannah says jumping over me to hug them. I wince in pain slightly and David furrows his eyebrows.
"Are you alright?" He asks and I nod.
"Yeah." I say smiling at him.
After dinner me and Alannah went up to my room where we facetimed James.
"Hello girlies." He says and Alannah immediately steals my phone from me. She rambles on about how excited she is to next see him.
After about an hour James jumps up.
"Look I'm heading to a party so I'm going to let you guys go." He says and we nod.
"Have fun" I say and he smiles
"I'll talk to you guys tomorrow." He says and we say goodbye.
"Right bath time for you." I say and Alannah claps her hands excitedly.
"Yay!" She says jumping up. I leave her on the bed whilst I run her a bath and get her some pyjamas.
After Alannah's bath we say Goodnight to David and Nicole. I get into bed beside Alannah.
"I'm not tired." Alannah says and I pick up my phone to see it was 7:30pm.
"Hmm let's watch a film and hopefully you'll fall asleep." I say and she nods.
We put the film on and I lie with Alannah. She cuddles into my side and watches the film with me.
"I love you." She whispers to me causing me to smile.
I look down at this three year old infromt of me and think about how happy I am she's in my life.
"I love you too." I say playing with her hair.
I may not be her biological mom but I raised her and gave up a lot for her. I would do anything for her. Looking down at her now while she yawns and cuddles my side makes me happy. I could have the worst day and all I would need is a hug from her to make things better.
Once Alannah falls to sleep I switch the tv off.
I get into my pyjamas and tie my hair in a messy bun. I take my makeup off and then and wash my face and brush my teeth.
I switch the night light on and turn the main light off.
I grab my phone and charger and head into the spare bedroom.
I put my phone on charge and pull the white comforter over me. I nuzzle my head into the pillow and lie on my side of the bed.
I'm so tired.
Jax. I feel safer around Jax then I ever have with anyone before. I look forward to getting into bed and talking with Jax every single night.
Since last night, something feels different. I can't put my finger on it but I know it feels different. I couldn't imagine being with anyone other then Jax.
He treats Alannah and I better than I think anyone ever has. He's so amazing with her and my heart melts every time they're together.
It's weird because I didn't think he would stay at all. Yet he's still here and everyday he proves me wrong. He is amazing with Alannah and I'm so grateful for that.
Alannah still has nightmares almost every night and Jax does not fail to get out of bed with me when I hear Alannah crying. He follows me to Alannah's room and we calm her down together.
James and the Miller's have always been extremely helpful and always been there to help. Yet they could never calm Alannah down. When Jax is with me she will willingly climb into Jax's arms and cry. We'll calm her down and she'll go back to sleep but yet Jax doesn't judge, whereas most people would.
I heard the bedroom door open but I didn't have the energy to move. I wasn't asleep because I can't sleep before 4am without Jax. He pulls the comforter back causing a moan from me.
"I want to take you somewhere." He says helping me sit up.
I pick up my phone and read the time before running my hands over my face.
"Its gone midnight." I say and he shrugs.
"I'm completely ready for bed." I say and he holds my hands infront of me.
"No one will see." He says and brings my hand up to his mouth and pressing a soft kiss to it.
"Fine." I moan standing up. I'm so tired.
I slide on my slip on Van's and re do my messy bun so it doesn't look so bad. I glare at Jax before heading into James room.
"What are you doing?" Jax whispers coming behind me.
"Grabbing a hoodie." I say walking towards the wardrobe.
"I have one." Jax says taking my hand and heading into the spare room.
He opens his bag and pulls out a plain black hoodie. I thank him then pull it over my head. I indulge in the smell of it causing Jax to chuckle.
"Come on." He says grabbing my hand then heading to the car.
Jax opens the door for me and then sits me in the seat. He then pulls my seatbelt across and clips it in. "
You know I can do that myself don't you." I say.
"Yeah." He says leaning down to kiss my forehead.
"Where are we going?" I ask looking out the window.
It was dark and I could hardly see anything going on outside. But I could tell we were driving down the highway.
"I want ice cream." He says and I whip my head to look at him.
"Its freezing cold." I say and he laughs.
"We'll turn the heat up." He says and does exactly that.I just laugh. He's incredible.
The drive to McDonald's was extra long which confuses me as it's late and theres no traffic.
We get to McDonald's drive thru and after Jax orders our ice cream he tells me to hold them.
We get to Manhattan bridge when Jax stops his car.
He stops it just before the bridge so we can see the bridge infront of us and Manhattan. The bridge was lit up with a warm golden colour. The skyscrapers mainly had their lights off. But there was some with their lights on and it just emphasised the warmth of the lights on the bridge.
I would definitely get out of the car right now but I know it's far to cold out there for me right now.
"Its beautiful." I say and turn to Jax.
"I used to come here at night when I needed to calm down." He says and I furrow an eyebrow.
"I have anger issues." He admits and I turn my whole body to face him.
"I would never have thought that. You seem so calm. If I were to stereotype you then yeah it would make sense but I've know you for a while now and you don't strike me as that type of person." I say and he shrugs.
"I don't want you or Alannah to be scared around me." He says and I smile.
"Scared around you pff.... you're like a cuddly bear." I joke and he looks at me with a serious face causing me to laugh.
"So why'd you bring me out here in the middle of the night. Oh my god you're going to kill me aren't you?" I say scooping up some ice cream.
"Haha." He says sarcastically.
"I needed to talk to you but I'm trying to find the words to say what I need to say." He says and I nod. I am now slightly worried why the hell would he say that to me right now.
Oh my god he's definitely breaking up with me. Here we go yourself.
"What did you and Alannah do today?" He asks and I take a breath of relief.
"Nothing really just watched some films." I say and he nods.
"How was work?" I ask.
"It was uh something." He says scratching the back of his neck.
"Do you think Alannah's okay?" I ask putting my head on the window.
"Hey." Jax says grabbing hold of one of my hands. He puts his index finger under my chin and makes me look at him.
"She'll be okay, we won't stay long okay." He says and I nod.
"I need to tell you something." He says pinching the bridge of his nose.
"What's wrong?" I ask turning my whole body to face him.
"I just ugh." He groans then pinches the bridge of his nose again.
"Calm down and tell me when you're ready." I tell him and he nods.
"When I tell you what I need to tell you I don't want it to affect anything." He says and I furrow my eyebrows.
"I just don't want you to think I'm weak or anything." Hs says.
What is he on about?
"Jax either tell me directly or take some time to calm down because you're making it sound really bad." I say and he nods.
"Sorry." He apologises and puts his head on the window.
A hand slips into mine and I turn to Jax. He brought his head from the window then turned to look at me.
"Being with you has changed me on a different level." He admits and I look down. He puts his hand under my chin and turns my head up to meet his eyes.
"I love you Lara. I love you." He repeats and my jaw drops in shock.
"You don't have to say it back I know it's still quite early on." Jax rambles but I lean in and kiss him.
"I want to say it back. Jax I love you too." I say and he smiles.
"Thank god for that." He says and I smile.
When we get home we quietly go in and I lock the door.
We check on Alannah to see she was still fast to sleep. She had no signs of distress so we we went back to bed.
I went and brushed my teeth again with Jax and then I climbed into bed. It didn't take long till Jax was in bed beside me.
I had been trying to figure out all day that feeling. Then once Jax told me he loved me it automatically clicked. I love him too. I'm excited like really excited.
"What you thinking about?" Jax asks placing a kiss on my neck.
"You." I admit smiling.
Jax and I get in the spooning position. With me being little spoon.
I yawn and Jax pulled me in even closer to him.
"Go to sleep." He kisses my shoulder.
"I love you." I say in a tired voice.
Jax places a kiss on my shoulder and then in the crook of my neck.
"I love you too." He says before putting his head in the crook of my neck.
The feeling of his breathe on my neck made me feel more and more tired with every exhale.