Lara's POV
A few days later, Monday 7th December.
For the past couple of days me and Jax have been rotating houses. One day at the Miller's and the next at his.
It's better for Jax's routine if we sleep at his house but the Miller house is also like my home now.
Jax won't let me drive to his house because his secruity will have to check my car. He said it's too much hassle and would prefer to just drive me there.
So either Jax or Gio pick us up at about 4pm and drop us to Jax's house. Me and Alannah normally then have dinner with Jax's mom.
Jax has changed since the first time we slept over. He's more uptight now.
We don't talk about his work often so I'm just putting it down to stress at work.
I was sat on the sofa with Alannah at the miller house. We're staying at Jax's tonight, that's why our bags are in the hallway.
Just before 4pm the doorbell rings. I stand up from watching sofia the first and head to the door. I open the door to be met with Gio.
"Hello." He says smiling.
"I take it you're here to pick us up." I say and he nods.
"I am your personal chauffeur." He says and I laugh and gesture for him to come in.
"Vanni!" Alannah shouts running into his arms.
"Hey kiddo." He says messing up her hair gaining a pout from her.
"Are you taking us to Jax's house?" She asks him and he nods.
"I am indeed." He says and she smiles. He puts her down and she grabs her bag.
"Let's go let's go." She says excitedly.
Gio takes our bags and heads out to the car holding Alannah's hand. I quickly lock the front door and follow them to Jax's car.
Jax has done a lot for me and Alannah recently, especially Alannah. It goes to show really how much he really is committed.
He got his own car seat for Alannah in both of his cars. I have her original car seat in my car. In 'Alannahs room' in Jax's house he lowered the bed frame to the floor so she could get out of bed. There is also a door connecting the two rooms now. So Alannah doesn't have to go far if she needs us. I'm extremely thankful for it and I'm sure Alannah is as well.
"So is Jax still in that weird mood?" I ask looking out the window as we drive up the street.
Gio starts laughing and I look at him confused but he doesn't realise as he concentrates on the road.
"Jax is not in a funny mood he's frustrated." Gio says and I feel my cheeks redden. Gio glances over at me and chuckles softly.
"He's gone from sleeping around to not having sex in about two months and it's not good for him. But he doesn't want to take your first time. Something about not feeling worthy enough." He says partially rolling his eyes.
"Oh." I say refusing to look at him.
"What's sex?" Alannah says gaining both of our attentions.
My eyes widen and Gio puts his hand over his mouth to contain himself from laughing.
"Um..." I say looking at Gio and he just shrugs whilst driving through the gate of Jax's house.
"Sex is another word for uh... sleep." Gio says looking at me for help as the car comes to a stop.
"Oh." Alannah says trying to un-do her seatbelt.
Me and Gio get out of the car and he takes a sigh of relief.
"That is why we watch what we say infront of younger children." I tell him and he nods.
I help Alannah out of his car seat and we head into Jaxs house. Gio hands our bags to Alfred and says a quick goodbye before heading back to work.
"You're here." Vanessa says greeting us in the foyer.
"We are." I say looking between me and Alannah.
"You can help with dinner." She says and I nod.
I can't remember the last time I cooked dinner. It's been far too long.
I follow Vanessa into the kitchen with Alannah holding my hand. Once we get into the kitchen I sit Alannah at the island. I then wash my hands and help Vanessa with making dinner.
"You know it's nice having you girls here I'm mostly here on my own." She says cutting up some chicken.
"Why are you here on your own though?" I ask and she shrugs.
"It's hard to explain." She says says and I smile sympathetically at her.
"I can't wait for next year now I know Jax has someone that cares for him. He's going to need the support from someone other then Gio." She tells me and I smile.
After we made dinner we sat in the dinning room and ate it.
It didn't take much for Alannah to be tired. But she insisted on staying in the living room with me and Vanessa for a while.
"On Wednesday you and Alannah are going to be staying here right?" She questions and I nod.
"Okay so you can meet Gianna then." She says and I nod.
"Sure we don't mind." I say and she smiles.
Come 8pm I took Alannah up to her room. I ran her a bath which didn't take long as she was falling to sleep.
I got her into her pyjamas and brushed her teeth as she basically fell asleep in my arms. I tucked Alannah into bed and as I kissed her forehead I yawned myself.
"I love you." I say and she smiles and rolls onto her side cuddling into a new stuffed animal Jax got her.
I head downstairs into the kitchen where Vanessa was.
"Is Alannah down for the night?" She asks and I nod.
"Yep." I say popping the 'p'.
"Jax is home." She says putting a plate into the dish washer.
"Oh well I'll go see him then." I say as she hands me a bottle of water. I thank her then head to Jax's room.
I go into Jax's room shutting the door behind me.
Now that I know he's frustrated, I can see it on his face. He was sat at the end of the bed tugging his hair. He had got rid of his suit jacket which was on the back of his chair.I cough to get his attention but he still doesn't look at me.
"Is Alannah asleep?" He asks and I walk over to him.
"She is." I say sitting beside him.
"How was your day?" I ask taking his hands from his hair.
"Eh it was okay, what about yours?" He asks.
"It was good, I helped your mom make dinner." I say he smiles.
We sat in silence for a minute or so.
I was trying to string the words to tell Jax how I wanted to lose my virginity to him. I've really tried not to think about it because it makes me so nervous but I think it's time and he's definitely the right person.
I sigh then Jax turns to me.
"Are you okay?" He asks holding my hands in front of me.
"Yeah." I say smiling.
Jax then leans forward and kisses me. I kiss him back and take the opportunity to deepen the kiss. This is it.
Now or never.
We fall back on the bed and Jax groans and pulls away.
"We need to stop." He says.
"Or we don't have to." I say and Jax puts his hand on my cheek.
"Are you sure you want your first time to be with me. Shouldn't it be with someone special?" He asks and I smile.
"You are special." I say and he strokes my cheek with his thumb.
"Are you sure though?" He asks and I nod
I walk over to the door between Jax's room and Alannah's. I then make a quick mental note to unlock it later. I then get back on the bed next to Jax.
As soon as I sit back on the bed he attacks me with his lips straight away. As the kiss deepens his hands slide under my top. As his hands get further up my top he kisses down my neck.
He pulls away from my skin and goes to the hem of my t-shirt.
"Can I take this off?" He asks and I nod shyly.
He kisses my cheek and I lift my arms up for him to take my t-shirt off, which he then does. He attaches his lips to my shoulder and neck as he unclasp a mg bra.
He throws my t-shirt and bra on the floor then takes off his shirt.
He moves down from my neck down to my chest.
He takes my nipple into his mouth as he sucks on it.
Oh. That feels so good.
He bites, sucks and licks. I close my eyes and just take in the feeling because it felt amazing.
He pulls his head back and drags his tongue over to my other one leaving a hot trail in his path before repeating the same process.
He then kisses me again but it doesn't take too long before he's kissing down my body. He kissed all the way down until he was met with my jeans. He looks up at me and then sits up. "
Are you sure?" He asks again and I smile at him before nodding. He unbuttoned my jeans and then gently slid them down my legs. I helped kick them off when they got to my ankles.
I sat up and leaned into Jax as he started kissing me again.
As the kiss got deeper Jax groaned. He does that a lot.
We carried on kissing and my hands found their way down his abs. I carefully ran my hand over them before getting to his trousers. I unbutton the button and then unzip them. He groaned as I took his trousers off.
Jax then lied my head back down on the pillow. He then ran his fingers up and down my sides as he just looked up and down at my body.
"You are so beautiful." He says leaning down to kiss my neck. I could feel his shakey breath against my neck.
"What are you nervous about?" I ask making him pull away from my neck to look into my eyes.
"I just don't want to hurt you." He says and I smile and kiss him. He kisses my cheek before then going back down to my neck.
He kissed down my neck delicately. Jax kissed a certain part of my neck causing me to moan.
"Found it." Jax says then glances up at me, smiling before continuing to suck on my neck.
"We're not having sex just yet. I don't want to hurt you so I'm going to use my fingers okay?" He asks and I nod.
I'm too overwhelmed to say anything.
He kisses my temple before moving taking my underwear off. He moves one of my legs to the side slightly before thrusting his fingers in me.
I grip the comforter under my hands and he continues to thrust his fingers in and out of me.
"Does it feel good?" He asks using his free hand to hold one of mine.
"So good." I gasp and he smirks.
He leans down and kisses me and I hold him close to me.
"You're okay." He says against my lips.
I'm more than okay.
He picks up the pace and I find myself rocking into his fingers.
His thumb starts teasing my clit making my core tense. This is it right?
"Jax." I let out and he just strokes my hair back.
"You're okay. Let it go." He tells me as he continues to tease my clit.
I release and he pulls his fingers out before sucking on them.
He nods and leans down to kiss me.
"Wow." I say and he nods.
"Good right?" He asks and I nod. Really good.
"Are we still going to have sex?" I ask.
"Do you want to?" He asks and I nod.
"I do." I say and he smiles.
"Then we will." He says and reaches onto his bed side unit and in a draw.
He pulls out a tiny packet which he opens with his teeth. He rolls the condom on and I just watch him.
"Okay." He kisses my cheek before placing a hand beside my head to hold himself up.
"I'm not going to lie but it will hurt, okay?" He says and I nod. I know. "If it hurts too much just tell me and I'll stop." He promises.
I lean up and press a kiss to his lips which makes him smile.
He lines himself up before slowly pushing himself in.
"Fucking hell." He says burying his head in my neck.
I winced in pain and felt something wet run down my face. Just watery eyes I'm not crying.
Jax pulls his head out of my neck to kiss me.
"I'm hurting you." He says wiping a tear that had ran down my face.
My whole body was just still.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asks and I shake my head.
"Just go slow." I say and he nods and leans down and kisses me as he slowly goes in even more.
Once he was fully in and was slowly thrusting into me I looked up at him. He had a pleasurable expression on his face and was letting out small moans. He kept his eyes shut in concentration as he tried to get further into me.
"You look like you feel good." I tell him and he nods.
"You feel so fucking good." He tells me.
He slowly moves around until I get used to him and I let out a whimper. That time it actually felt not that bad.
He thrusted into me again and this time it caused me to moan. This gained a smirk from him and he sped up a little bit.
He was going very slow for someone like him, with lots of experience. You can tell it was taking a lot of self control for him to go so slow.
He placed sloppy kisses to my neck, collarbone and shoulder until he reached my lips again. I didn't think I would enjoy having his lips all over me like the way they've been today.
He moans against my lips as he picks up the pace.
"Am I going to fast?" He asks and I shake my head.
"No." I tell him as he leans in to kiss me.
I wrap my arms around my shoulder and hold him closer to me as he thrusts himself in and out.
My core starts to tighten with that same familiar feeling and I open my eyes to meet Jax's
"Yeah?" He asks and I nod.
"Let it go." Jax whispers against my ear as he continues to thrusts into me. He let's out a deep moan of pleasure which pushed me over the edge.
He pulled out and threw the condom away then rested his forehead against mine.
A smile crept upon both of your faces.
"I don't know what this is but I have never felt like this about someone before." He admits and I blush then lean up and kiss him.
Me too.
I'm so lucky.
He really has taken care of me very well.
I watch as Jax puts his underwear on and unlocks the door for Alannah if she needs us. He then makes his way back into his bed handing me my underwear and his shirt.
Jax lies down and I rest my head on his chest.
"Are you okay though?" He asks playing with my hair.
"Yeah just a bit sore." I say and he kisses my forehead.
"I'm sorry." He says and I prop myself up on my elbows and look at him.
"You don't need to apologise." I tell him and kiss him.
"You are beautiful." Be says and I roll my eyes playfully. I cuddle back into him.