A/N: This is a very long chapter, but I think it'll be worth it.
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"Sorry, I'm a little behind!" Momoko called down to him, her head having popped out from behind her front door, "You can come up, if you want!"
Gaara watched her disappear behind the now open door, then his eyes dropped down to the steps in front of him. Though it had been nearly two months since they had started seeing each other in this new way, they had yet to come into each other's homes. Most of their time was spent going out or being in Gaara's office, so there had never really been a cause for it yet. He was a little taken back that she so casually invited him in, but he was probably thinking more into it than he should have. Gaara made his way up and into the home, shutting the door behind him.
It was exactly as he imagined any home of hers would look like. Her window sills were lined with plants, some well grown and others just budding. The living room was wide with walls painted a deep teal and well furnished, two fluffy looking sofas situated in the middle on either side of a coffee table that also had a flower on top of it. There was a colorful rug taking up most of the floor space of the living room, its colors tying in the furniture and various decorations that littered the walls. There were a couple simple things just for ambiance, but Gaara noticed quite a few pictures as well.
"I'm in here!" She called from somewhere on the other side of the dining room where the sliding paper door had been left open for him.
The dining room was just as colorful, with a pretty dark colored dining set and orange placemats. Had she not called for him, Gaara would have liked to stay and observe the front of the house for just a moment longer. It was all so very her, with beautiful colors and some kind of greenery in every corner. It crossed his mind that it smelled like her, too, in a sweet and comfortable kind of way.
As he walked through the hallway, he slowed down a bit to look at the pictures that hung on the green walls. They were mostly from Konoha, of her and various shinobi that he vaguely recognized. Sakura was in many of them, either hugging to Momoko or in a group with her in some way. There was one or two of her when she was younger, holding a fluffy cat in her arms and grinning with a mouth full of braces.
There were many, also, of what he assumed were Kimiko and Toshi Akiyama. Her mother was a tall woman with a round face and kind brown eyes. Her pale blonde hair flowed in waved down to her hips; just as Momoko's did. Kimiko's smile was warm and kind, and she looked every bit the wonderful mother Momoko had praised her to be. Her father towered over the two of them, his pale eyes always wide with a childish wonder had never quite grown out of. His hair was the color of chestnuts and hung pin straight to his shoulders. Freckles decorated the bridge of his nose and his tanned cheeks, and his lips were pulled into the bright grin that she had obviously inherited. Each picture of the three of them looked so perfect it could have been staged. There was one of Momoko on her 10th birthday, her parents surrounding her, and another of the opening day of her parents' shop when she was just three. The largest picture on the wall was of the three of them, all dressed in their best traditional clothes for the festival that carried on in the background; Momoko looked the same here as she did now, so the picture couldn't have been too long ago. He took his time, stared for a little longer at braces and grins and a happy life, and made a goal for himself to end up on this wall soon.
"I just need a couple minutes," She said when he finally reached the door of her bedroom. "My nap was a little longer than I planned!"
"It's alright," He reassured her, watching her put on earrings in the mirror hanging on her wall. Gaara let his eyes drift to the rest of her room, and this time he paid especially close attention to his surroundings.
The bed was larger than she needed, covered with a colorful quilt with floral patterns and a few decorative pillows. Her walls had been painted a soft lavender and the fairy lights of her room provided a calming feeling to the space. There was a vanity desk and stool nestled under the window, it's surface littered with a few notebooks and a picture frame of what looked like a sleepover. The wooden floor was covered with a rug that was shaped like a white rose, and there were a few more pictures and decorations that littered her walls. There was a small but plush armchair tucked in one of the corners of the room with a little table beside it that had a few books piled on top. She had plants on her window sill here just like everywhere else and had even hung a few with long vines from the ceilings. This had been his favorite room so far, because it felt the most like her.
"You can take a seat, if you want." She offered with a reassuring smile, and he turned his eyes back to her, "You don't have to stand in the doorway."
As much as he enjoyed seeing where she lived, Gaara was still uncomfortable with this new environment. It was a little more personal than his office and far more personal than the restaurants they frequented. He didn't want to overstep any boundaries by moving freely about her home, but he did take her offer once it was presented to him. Gaara took a seat in the little green armchair in the corner and watched as she finished putting on her earrings.
"You look beautiful." He said and watched the way her cheeks went just a little pink. She turned and offered him a wide smile, then came closer.
She always looked nice when they went out, tonight was no exception. Her dress was light and flowed down to her ankles, the fabric a pretty violet chiffon that billowed behind her when she walked. It was a simple dress, with a modest neckline and thin straps over her shoulders, but it was Momoko wearing it, so it was breath-taking. She had pulled her hair into a bun and the earrings she wore were simple silver hoops and were the only jewelry she wore. They weren't going anywhere especially fancy, but she never missed an opportunity to dress up just a bit.
"You're sweet," She giggled when she came to a stop in front of him and he took both of her hands into his to press a soft kiss to her knuckles, "Thank you."
He smiled ever so slightly against her skin and Momoko almost had half a mind to throw dinner right out the window and suggest they just spend the night in. As nice as that sounded, she was already dressed and nearly ready to go.
"I just need to find my lipstick and we can go," She said and reluctantly pulled her hands from his grasp.
Gaara watched her walk to the vanity, more aware of the sway of her hips these last few days than he ever had been before. Recently, he had noticed a few more things that he hadn't really before: the soft curves of her figure, the way her teeth bit at her plump lower lip sometimes, how long her legs were when she wore shorter dresses. She had mentioned the other day how their lunches were starting to show on her- Gaara didn't understand what she had meant at first, but once she stood to leave his office for the day, he did. Her once lean and slender figure had started to fill out a little, her hips and thighs a little fuller than they had been and her face just a bit rounder. The sun had brought freckles to her face and shoulders; he noticed her skin was a little darker now than it had been when she first moved, shifting from a fair ivory to a sandier color. She had told him that the first week she was here, she had completely overlooked sunscreen and had nearly burned herself to a crisp. Since then, she had made it a point to apply it all over nearly twice a day.
He thought she looked the most beautiful now than when he had first seen her. From her softer features to her freckled skin, and the little bit of confidence she had picked up along the way, Gaara was more taken with her now than ever. He hadn't ever looked at women like he had started to look at Momoko, and he was torn between being ashamed of it and accepting it as just another development in their relationship. It was natural for men to let their minds wonder a little bit when it came to their female company, and Gaara was no exception.
They had become a little more affectionate lately, too, and he was sure that was also contributing to whatever it was that had come over him. They walked arm in arm everywhere they went, and they would now kiss goodbye every time they had to part. It was nothing more than a soft brush of the lips for just a moment, but it was enough to send their hearts fluttering for the rest of the day. It was nice, to have become comfortable enough to show affection whenever they pleased. Sometimes she still asked, but only when it came to kisses and of course Gaara never denied her.
She opened the drawer of her vanity and shifted some things around, looking at a few of the tubes that were already in there but setting each one back inside. It must have not been in there, because she huffed and left the vanity to check the bathroom, not bothering to shut the drawer behind her.
Being left alone in her room piqued his curiosity once more, and Gaara rose from the armchair to look at the pictures this room had too. They were similar to the others in the hallway, showing lunches and makeovers and slumber parties. There was something about seeing these moments of her life that Gaara enjoyed, so he let himself look over the smiles that littered her walls. He let his gaze move to the window, where a few pretty colored pots held even prettier flowers, and he was content to return to the chair when something in the open drawer of the vanity caught his eye.
It was a picture frame, set upside down in the middle of the drawer. At first he thought nothing of it, but the more he looked at it, the more curious he became. She was obviously fond of her pictures- why was this one tucked away? Gaara had never taken himself as a nosy person- but then again, he had never taken himself as a romantic one, either. He listened for her in the bathroom, hearing her open a new drawer to rummage through, then took the picture from the drawer and turned it over.
It was her and Naruto Uzumaki. They were both in the middle of laughing, their eyes bright and their clothing soaked as they stood knee deep in water. They were wrapped in each other's arms, holding each other close as they enjoyed whatever moment had been captured here.
What Gaara felt when he looked at the picture was indescribable. Sometimes he would send Kankuro sharp looks when he made crude comments, but this was nothing like that. It felt like a bitter taste on his tongue and his chest suddenly going hollow. He wanted to snap the frame in his hands and ruin the picture forever so that he'd never see it again, so that she would never see it again.
Being with Momoko had made him a little more aware of social cues, at least enough that he understood the significance of this photo. It made sense now, why she frowned at the mention of the jinchuriki's name and avoided any conversation that involved him, why it lay face down in the drawer. She hadn't hated him, it had been exactly the opposite. It was clear in the way they held each other and laughed without a care in the world.
In the bathroom, the drawer closed and by the time she was back in the bedroom, the photo had been put back in its place and he had returned to the chair in the corner. Momoko gave him a bright smile with newly colored lips, and he offered her his arm as they left the house and went to dinner.
Gaara was unsure of how to approach this new topic in the days following. The picture of the two of them lingered in the back of his mind constantly and he saw it nearly every time he closed his eyes. It had kept him awake the night he found it and every night since. He tried to lose himself in the papers on his desk and the comfort of familiar company, but nothing seemed to pull the thought completely from his mind.
He was at a loss. Gaara had never really taken into consideration the fact that she had done all of this before, had smiled at someone the way she smiled at him and had kissed them the same way, too. It would be foolish to think someone as bright and beautiful as Momoko would have been completely inexperienced in romance. He hadn't really thought much of it before, accepting that it could have been a part of her past and that if she could get over his, he would get over hers.
But that was before he knew it was Naruto that had been that past flame. He could handle a random stranger, hell, he could handle anyone else, but of all the people in Konoha, she had to have loved the one person Gaara cared so deeply for. It felt like he was wronging his friend in some way, to want the girl that he had obviously had before. He dreaded the idea of Naruto resenting him for this, of him revoking every kindness and every moment of friendship over a love that he may or may not even be over.
Of course Momoko was important to him, but Naruto was too in an entirely different way. He owed everything he was to the blonde shinobi. Every great thing he had accomplished or good deed he had done had been carried out with Naruto in mind. He wanted Naruto to be proud of him, to understand how deeply Gaara valued him and his friendship. Everything about Gaara had been directly influenced by him, and he owed his very life to the man. Would this be seen as a betrayal of some kind, to care for the very same girl Naruto once had?
The idea of losing either of them made the Kazekage nearly sick to his stomach. On one hand was loyalty to the man who had saved his life, and on the other was the woman who had begun to make it really worth living. Losing either would be a huge blow to his heart and possibly even sanity, and Gaara was unsure of how to navigate this situation. He knew he had to talk to Momoko about it; the last few days had been torment by letting the negative thoughts and worries consume him, he couldn't live like this very much longer.
Gaara found his chance a few days later while in her shop, tending to the flowers and helping her as he usually did on his days off. The shop was slow today, leaving them alone together for the better part of the day. Momoko seemed to be in a good mood, swaying her hips a little to the soft music that came from the radio in the corner as she watered a few flowers near the window. He didn't want to ruin her happiness, but he knew that this feeling would consume him entirely if he didn't speak soon. He knew he couldn't just jump right into it, so instead he started the conversation that he had walked through nearly a thousand times in his head already.
"When are you expected in Konoha?" He asked from his spot across the shop where he laid a bit of new soil on a few flowers.
She seemed to pause and think for a moment, before saying, "In a little more than a week, I think. Sakura is super excited about it," She said with a chuckle.
"You must be, too," He said, "To see your friends."
"I am," Momoko said with a smile so big he saw it from where he stood, "I'll have more time to actually visit with them, this time!"
"That'll be nice," Gaara replied, his words as cool as ever, "You'll have to give Naruto my regards once again."
He watched her pause, pulling up the watering can so as to not drown the flowers, and stand there for just a moment in silence. That familiar taste sat on his tongue once again before he saw her sigh softly and set the can aside.
"I...don't think I'll be seeing Naruto, this time." She said quietly, and Gaara set his tools aside as well.
He didn't want to push her too far or say anything that indicated what he knew, but he needed to hear whatever it was she had to say. He wasn't bitter that she had never told him before, but now that he knew, he needed to reassure her that whatever she and Naruto had been was no more.
It felt so strange, needing this type of reassurance from her. It was one thing for her to forgive him for his past and be willing to move on from it, but it was another to reassure him of the present. He had never once doubted her loyalty to him or what they had, but both the picture and the fact that she hadn't mentioned it before brought a sinking feeling he had yet to experience with her. Momoko wasn't the unfaithful type- would it even be considered cheating? They Had yet to put a label on their relationship, was that another conversation they needed to have?
"Why not?" He asked, willing his tone to stay firm and neutral as he spoke.
Momoko's hand hadn't left the handle of the watering can despite having set it down, and she grabbed it so tightly the skin on her knuckles nearly turned white.
How could she explain it to him? How could she find the words to tell him what she knew he had every right to hear? It was only fair that he knew of her past with Naruto, given what they were and what the blonde shinobi meant to him. She had every intention of telling him eventually, but now that the moment was here, she couldn't seem to find the words just yet. Momoko stood in her spot for just a little longer, silent as she tried to put together whatever two thoughts she could.
"Gaara..." She sighed, barely finding the breath or the courage to back her words. "Naruto and I were...together, when I lived in Konoha."
It was an answer he already knew, but it was still hard to hear. There had been a chance that he had been wrong, that the picture was just a picture and nothing more, but he knew now that it wasn't so.
Where did he go from here? There was no reason to be mad at her, she hadn't done anything wrong by having a life before him. If he had been romantically involved before her (that thought alone was laughable) then he knew she wouldn't be mad, either. It felt irrational to be upset, but Gaara couldn't help it. He had told her how important Naruto had been to him- it crossed his mind that Naruto had likely mentioned him as well- and yet she still hadn't told him the truth of their relationship. If they had just been friends that ended off on bad terms, Gaara could understand that. But that wasn't true- they had been something more, something similar to what he and Momoko were now. He wanted to be patient with her and let her speak when she was ready, but the brewing feelings of betrayal pushed him to press further for his own peace of mind.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked quietly, setting the tools in his hand down on the table. He made an effort to stay as calm and collected as ever, but he feared he may have sounded more like a wounded animal.
The tone of his words made Momoko's heart ache in a way she hadn't felt around Gaara before. She knew that it was wrong of her to keep this from him, especially now that they were romantically involved, but even with all the personal growth she had gone through she still couldn't find the strength to get the words out. With a dull throb in her heart, she pulled off her gloves and set them aside.
"Can we talk somewhere else?" She offered, trying not to let her nervousness show so easily in her words when his eyes turned to her. He watched her silently for a moment, a look in his eyes that she was unhappily unfamiliar with, before giving her a nod.
They put their aprons and gloves in the back room, and Momoko locked up the cash register and cabinets before they left the shop. She locked the door behind her and gestured to him to follow her up the stairs on the side that lead to her home. It felt different being here now than it had before; there was no wonder or curiosity, just a heavy silence as they moved about the house. Gaara took a seat on one of the plush couches in the living room, and Momoko disappeared into the kitchen with the promise of tea.
Once alone, she leaned against the counter and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, trying to find both her strength and her nerve.
She knew she had done nothing wrong by having a life before Gaara, and she knew he knew that too, but she was aware that she was wrong for having not told him. Had they stayed as just friends and nothing more, maybe she could have gotten away with keeping the information to herself a little longer and without as much consequence. But they didn't stay as just friends, no matter how much they could have tried it became more painfully obvious each moment she spent with him that she would have inevitably felt for him what she felt now. It had been by the grace of some divine god that he returned those feelings.
This new relationship brought new obligations as well, such as information they were now entitled to and secrets that had otherwise remained unspoken. That was the point of love, wasn't it? To know everything about a person and still stay by their side? Of course this wasn't love just yet, but it was in the makings of it. They had become more comfortable with each other in this way, which is why it was only fair that she talked about Naruto with him now- she owed him that.
Momoko was guilty to admit that she had been in the wrong for not telling him about Naruto the moment they decided to begin seeing each other. If it had been anyone else in the world, she wouldn't have felt so obligated to do so. But it was the one person, besides his family, who Gaara valued above all else. She had listened to him talk about the blonde jinchuriki with a tenderness to his words and a gentle look in his eye- and still kept this part of her life from him. It was selfish to sit and listen to Gaara talk about someone who was so important to him while still keeping this a secret. She had been afraid of the backlash, so much so that she had intentionally kept this from him when she knew that he had every right to know.
Once the tea had been seeped and poured into colorful cups, Momoko collected herself as best she could before making her way back into the living room. Gaara was still on the couch, now resting his arm on the armrest with his chin propped on his hand. He didn't look at her when she came in and it put a pit in her stomach as she set the cups onto the coffee table. She took a seat beside him, sure to leave space between them, and rested her hands in her lap. Her heart was beating a million times a moment- though she knew it was probably an over reaction, she couldn't help the unease that bubbled up inside of her.
It was irrational to think that he would turn her away because of this; Gaara was a level-headed man who had his senses about him, but she still couldn't help but worry. This was new to Gaara, being in a relationship of sorts and being this close to someone. She didn't want to give him the impression that this is what it meant to care about someone: having important things withheld from him for the sake of sparring feelings. Being with someone wasn't supposed to be able tip-toeing and holding your tongue. It was supposed to be honest and open, and Momoko was sensible enough to admit that she had been wrong. So she collected herself as best she could and tried to offer the words she knew Gaara deserved to hear.
"I had a really big crush on him when we were kids, back when he was in the academy and I helped my parents with their shop. He didn't even notice me back then, I don't think, because he was so caught up in Sakura and becoming this big strong shinobi. Nothing really started to happen until before the...the Chunin exams."
She saw Gaara sigh and close his eyes. She couldn't quite see the look on his face, but she paused long enough for him to interject if he wanted. When no words came, Momoko went on.
"He started to return my feelings around that time, but there was a lot on his plate with Sasuke wanting to leave and needing to find a new Hokage. I still liked him, so I was content with just sitting back and waiting until he came around. Looking back on it now...it was almost sad, that I was so happy with so little." Momoko fiddled with the hem of her dress, "I thought that maybe there would be more time for us after Sasuke finally left, but I should have known he wouldn't sit still for very long. He said things would change for us when he came back, that we'd finally have some time for each other. And I believed him because I was young and...and in love."
He stiffened beside her, and Momoko was sure that he would stand and leave.
Truthfully, he wanted to. The selfish part of him that wanted to be the only one to ever have her like this wanted to get up, thank her for the time they had, and leave. Had he been any less the person he was today, maybe he would have done just that. The idea of her being with someone else was bearable enough, but to be in love. She had loved Naruto, and it sounded like Naruto had loved her. What he and Momoko had right now wasn't love, and the idea of being in love with her made him anxious and nervous in ways he had never been before.
When no reply came, Momoko went on.
"When he left to train for those three years with Jiraiya, it felt like he had taken a piece of me with him. Every day was harder than the last, because I had spent my whole life being so sure of his presence and so dependent on him for my happiness that I didn't know how to be without him. I felt so helpless for years, like some love-struck puppy waiting at the window for her owner to come home. And then he finally did come home but...but it wasn't what I thought it would be. Of course I was glad he was home and I was so happy to see him again, but it made me realize that it was just borrowed time. That he would always have some great mission that needed him, but I needed him, too. After my parents got sick I realized that once I lost them, Naruto would be the only person I had left in the world, but even he wasn't certain."
When had she started to cry? Gaara had turned his head to see the tears running down her cheeks, but she didn't seem to notice it.
"I loved him, but in loving him, I lost so much of myself. I didn't want to live a life just waiting and hoping that he would come back to me. I was so dependent on him and so obsessed with being with him that I lost sight of myself along the way. I didn't feel like me, I felt like an extension of Naruto. After my parents died I realized that being with him meant being without myself, and I couldn't spend my life like that. I couldn't spend my life just waiting until he was ready to be with me. So...I left. And here I am."
Gaara was silent, his head finally turned to her but his hands to himself. He wanted to wipe the tears from her cheeks and comfort her in any way he could, but he found himself unable to do so right then. He was still processing her words, still trying to wrap around the years of her life that had gone into loving his friend. Gaara disliked her sadness and wished it wasn't so, but he couldn't find it in himself to do so just yet.
It had been more than he was expecting. He had assumed it was just something they had shared for a while and then fizzled out, or maybe something just a little more, but not like this. He hadn't thought she had spent the entirety of her life in love with him. No matter how much Gaara cared for Momoko and tried to show it, he realized with a dread in his heart that he would never compare. Naruto had years of her life and Gaara only had months. Naruto was warm and sunny, loud and cheerful, kind beyond all reason and one of the strongest people he knew. He was so much like her, in so many ways. They must have been a sight to behold together, with their selflessness and beautiful smiles. Momoko and Naruto were two halves of the same whole, he thought miserably, it only made sense that they should love so strongly for so long.
Gaara could only hope for a fraction of what they had. He wanted to love her and love her fiercely, but he was still so unsure of himself that he wasn't quite ready for the commitment such a confession would bring. Of course he liked her now and felt something more than just platonic companionship for her, but he wasn't even sure if he was fully capable of falling in love with someone. He loved his siblings because blood was unconditional and they had been there every step of his life, but being in love was an entirely different thing. Could he fall in love with her? And could he mean just as much as Naruto once had?
"Do you still love him?" He found himself asking, his words barely above a whisper.
Momoko wiped the tears from her eyes, unable to bring herself to look at him just yet. She shook her head, blonde waves tossing about with the motion.
"No, I don't." She admitted with a watery tone, "He'll always be important to me, but what I had with him wasn't healthy. I had to put so much of myself into being with him that I completely lost sight of who I was. It felt like I constantly had to choose between what I wanted and Naruto, and I always chose Naruto. I'm grateful for the happiness he brought to me, but I can't lose myself to be with him- I won't."
He watched the way she wiped her cheeks dry, tried to find her posture and hold her head up a little higher than she did before. Even in her sadness, Gaara could see the newly gained sense of self worth in her eyes. He was proud of her, truthfully, but there was still so much left to say.
"Do you feel like that now?" Gaara questioned, "Like you're losing yourself?"
She knew what he was asking: did Gaara make her feel that way too? The thought of it brought a watery laugh from her lips, and she shook her head as her eyes filled once again.
"No, I don't. Being with you isn't hard. I don't worry that you're going to leave me at any moment, I don't feel like I can't breathe if you're not there or like I have to change myself to be happy." She answered, then finally met his eyes.
Momoko turned her body to face him and reached out, taking both of his hands from his lap to hold them tenderly in her own.
"You make me so incredibly happy, Gaara. I thought after losing my parents and letting go of Naruto, I would never be happy again. But being here in Suna, with you, has been the greatest time of my life. I have never felt so completely myself than when I'm at your side."
He watched with wide eyes as she brought his hands to her lips and kissed his knuckles just as she had before, just as he had nights ago. She held his hands just tight enough that Gaara could feel how her's trembled. A tear landed on the back of his hand before she lifted her hand to look at him, her pale eyes glassy and her lips pulled down. He had seen her cry before, more times than he cared for, but this was different. It wasn't out of pity or mourning, it was a genuine sadness and guilt. She wasn't crying for things that had long since past or things she couldn't change she was crying for something she had done now.
As upset as he had been these last few days, it wasn't worth seeing her like this now. She had told him everything, just as he wanted, but it didn't bring the gratification he thought it would. She had loved Naruto so much, and it must have hurt beyond words to have to let him go. Gaara couldn't imagine loving someone your whole life only to realize that they weren't good for you after all. He felt guilty for having to pull these memories out of her, no matter how much he knew it was wrong for not telling him. Gaara was torn between forgiving her to relieve her sadness and forgiving her because he truly did.
"Why is it so hard to be upset with you?" He asked softly, dropping his gaze from her eyes to their hands.
Momoko tilted her head a little, watching the way his brows furrowed as he stared downwards.
"What do you mean?"
"I..." Gaara paused for a moment and pursed his lips. He had never been very good at talking through how he felt but for her, he would try. "I don't like that you kept this from me and I know it was wrong of you, but it feels wrong to think poorly of you, even if it is so slight."
Momoko frowned and gave his hands a soft squeeze.
"You're allowed to be upset with me, Gaara." She reassured him, "You shouldn't put me on a pedestal. I'm a human being, I'm going to make mistakes, and it's only natural that sometimes you'll be cross with me. I'm sure I'll eventually be upset with you too, for some reason or another. But don't feel like you're not allowed to be bothered by things I do."
He had put her on a pedestal, hadn't he? It was so easy to do and it came so naturally. Momoko was kind and gentle, so happy and so warm. From the moment he met her, Gaara had been so taken with her beauty and her good nature that he had completely overlooked the fact that she was still capable of doing wrong. No, she didn't carry the same sins that Gaara did, but that didn't mean she was completely without sin at all. All this time he had seen her as some pure, wonderful being who was incapable of doing wrong. But with the events of the last few days and her words now, Gaara realized that Momoko was just as prone to mistakes as anyone else.
The last two months had gone by in a flurry of new experiences and exciting revelations. The beginning was always the easiest part, it was staying that was hard. Maybe it was a little foolish to think that they would always be stuck in that phase of admiration where the other person could do no wrong in their eyes. Taking her arm when they walked and kissing her goodbye was easy, but realizing her flaws and accepting them was a little harder.
Trying to love someone was hard, he realized. It meant opening yourself to someone so entirely that they knew you as well as you did. It meant knowing every flaw and every shortcoming and still deciding that this person was the one. Love wasn't at first sight or suddenly; it was gradual, overtime. There was a large difference between being attracted to someone and genuinely loving them. Of course he was attracted to Momoko, to the joy she brought to his days and the tender look in her eyes when he smiled, but to love her would be something else entirely. To love her wouldn't be as easy as accepting flowers in the mornings and sharing lunches in the afternoons- it would be knowing things that didn't sit well with him, having opinions that he disagreed with.
Momoko shifted beside him, and the movement pulled Gaara from his thoughts. He looked up at her, to the way she stared right back with now dry eyes, and watched as she spoke again with all sincerity in her words.
"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, Gaara." She spoke, "You had every right to know but I was too afraid of hurting you that I didn't want to tell you at all. It was wrong of me to hold this from you, and I hope you can forgive me."
It was Gaara's turn to give her hands a light squeeze, and the smallest of smiles crossed her lips.
"Thank you for telling me all of this." He said, "And for apologizing, as well. I forgive you."
She let out a soft breath and the smile on her lips widened just slightly. He offered her a small one of his own, and Momoko seemed to finally feel at ease for the first time since they sat down. Gaara let go of one of her hands to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen into her face back behind her ear, and he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead. When he pulled back, he saw her cheeks had turned a little pink and her eyes were just a bit wider than they had been before. He laid his hand on her cheek and savored the sight of her closing her eyes and leaning into his touch. Gaara stared at her, at the light speckling of freckles across her sun-kissed cheeks and the way that she smiled so sweetly at his touch, and realized right then that he would never again feel for anyone what he felt for her.
Falling in love was hard; it took work and it took time.
That was all he really needed now: just a little more time.