"Liv-" I said walking into her room seeing her with a bottle of pills.
"I havent taken any," she said to me.
"Call your sponsor. I'll stay with you until you can get her," I said sitting next to her taking the bottle of pills.
"I'm going to go to the tattoo parlor where she works," she said.
"You seem stressed. Want me to drive you?" I asked her.
"I'm good. I'd prefer to go alone," she told me.
"Okay. Call me if you need anything," I said hugging her.
"Thank you," she said when she pulled away.
I nodded my head and walked downstairs. I saw only Laura and tensed up.
"What would you like?" She asked me.
"Just fruit," I whispered grabbing an apple.
I quickly went to go to the door when jordan stopped me outside.
"Where do you always ice out my mom?" He asked me.
"Jordan, let me get to school," I told him.
"Not until you answer me," I stayed silent, embarrassed by my reason.
"Whatever," Jordan said storming off.
I thought it would be normal at school but he would make mean comments to me. Ice me out. The team was starting to notice.
"What is your problem?" JJ asked him.
"My problem is her. She keeps icing out my mom for no reason," he growled.
"Jordan-"
"No. I dont want you hanging out with the team anymore," he said to me.
"J-"
"Ash, if you want to take her side you arent welcome with the team anymore," jordan said.
"Its fine ash," I said and walked away, tears in my eyes.
I found an empty classroom and leaned against the wall. Flashbacks happening.
"Brandon, I need clothes for school," I told him.
"Ask mom," he said.
"You know she hasn't been the same since dad left," I told him.
"Let's go take you to get clothes. I have some extra money," he sighed.
We bought the clothes and left. I was about eight years old. The cops came up to us and pulled gun.
"Brandon?" I asked him scared.
"My little sister hasn't done anything," brandon told the cops.
"No. But she knows you. Cuff the girl to," the cop said to his men.
They brought me in a questioned me. I didnt even know what brandon had done. I was sobbing hard. I knew brandon was in jail.
"If you dont start talking we will put you in jail," a cop told me.
"I dont know anything!" My eight year old self cried.
"Hey. I'm here to pick up Pheonix," my uncle preach said.
"Are you family?" The cops asked.
"Yes. Her uncle," Uncle Preach told them.
"She just needs to answer some questions and we will let her go," the cop told him.
"Like hell you will. I know brandon doesnt tell her anything. I also know you cant question a minor without a parent. I am not a parent so she should be free to go," Uncle Preach said.
The cops reluctantly let me go. Preach put his arms around me as I walked out of the station.
"Is brandon coming to?" I asked him.
"No. I'm sorry Nix," he said.
"We were just getting me clothes for school," I said sadly.
"This isn't your fault. Your brother signed you up to he harrassed by the police the minute he joined. Dont worry, I have yo back," preach said to me as he walked me home.
"Hey, are you okay?" I saw JJ walk in.
"Careful. Jordan will tell you can't be with the team anymore," I said.
"Me and Asher walked off after you left. I said it was my turn to hang with you. Get in line," he said making me laugh.
"Thanks JJ," i laughed.
"Whats wrong?"
"Nothing. Everything. I dont know," I whispered.
"Why are you icing out mrs. Baker?" He asked me.
"Its a long story JJ," I said him.
"I have time," he said putting his arms around me.
I heard a loud bang on my door. I was ten. I walked over opening the door seeing a dark haired woman.
"How can I help you?" I asked her.
"I am a lawyer. I'm here to help Brandon Scott," she told me.
"Your going to make sure he doesn't go jail?" I asked the lady.
"What has he done that would send him there?" She asked me.
"I dont really know. Brandon doesnt tell me," I told her shyly.
"If you dont tell me, I cant help him."
I wanted brandon to not go to jail,"I heard him say he stole something. I might be wrong."
"You've just helped me greatly. I'll see you in court," she said with a smirk.
"To help brandon?" I asked happily.
"To help him go to jail. You just admitted to him committing to crime," and then I had to testify in court.
I never forgave myself even though brandon told me multiple times it wasnt my fault.
"I just havent had a good run ins with cops or lawyers. Growing up with two gang members in your house does that," I told JJ.
"How bad?"
"A lawyer tricked me into putting my own brother in jail," i told him.
"Oh damn."
"Yeah."
"Does J know?" He asked me.
"The only people who know are Spencer, you, and a family friend named preach," I said.
"Oh, why dont you ever bring him to Beverly?"
"Hes currently in jail," I said.
"You had a messed up life growing up," he said making me laugh.
"Let's head to class," I said standing up.
"Alright. Hey, if you ever need a ride our of Crenshaw, or just in general. Call me," jj said making me smile.
"Thank you," I said and we walked to into the halls.
"I screwed up!" Spencer said.
"Quit letting your father get in the way with your relationship with leila. Ash isnt gonna steal Leila. Has no intent to," I said.
"How?" Spence asked.
"I know my drama," I laughed.
"My turn for advice. Talk to jordan. He wants to help. He cant if you dont tell him what's wrong?" Spencer said.
"Spencer-"
"Listen. I know you hate for people to know what it was like growing up in a gang. I know it reminds you of what shawn sacrificed, but you cant let your fears control you," Spencer told me.
"I hate you," I mumbled walking to english.
"Love ya to!" He yelled after me.
"Tell that to Leila!"
After school I walked up to jordan.
"Get in my car. We are going for a ride," I said with no emotion.
"Fine," he said, copying my no emotion.
"Why do you ice my mom?" He asked once we got in the car.
"I grew up in a house with gangbangers. Cops and lawyers were constantly at me. I had cops questioning me at eight years old as they threw my brother in jail. I had a lawyer trick me into putting my brother in jail. Non compare to the fear I felt when this happened."
Shawn you cant join a gang," I told him.
"Its better then you joining. Brandon wants one of us," he told me.
"Shawn-"
"Hello kids," a cop said coming up to us.
"Hi," we said and showed out hands.
"The boys in a gang huh?" The cop asked and pulled his gun.
"He hasn't done anything!" I cried.
"Shut up!" He yelled pointing the gun at me.
"Please dont hurt him!" I cried.
I faced shawn and he mouthed,"dont say anything or they will kill you to."
So I shut up. I had tears streaming down my face as he dragged my twin away. A gun to his head. I thought they would kill him.
"Good thing our lawyers can cover it if we kill a kid in a gang," was the last thing I heard.
"Phoenix," jordan said softly, I had tears running down my cheeks.
"I know your mom isnt like that, but the fears still there," I told him.
"How old were you and shawn?" Jordan asked.
"Twelve. That's when brandon got shawn in. He originally went after me, but shawn wouldnt let him have me. It's my fault hes dead," I whispered.
"I'm sorry, Nix. It isnt your fault," he said grabbing my hand.
"I dont mean to ice your mom-"
"You have every reason to be wary of my mom," he cut my off.
"I know she wouldn't-"
"That doesnt mean you fear goes away," he cut me off again.
"Are we good?" I asked him.
"Yeah. We are good," I ended up dropping him off and heading to meet cam.
"Hey," I said.
"Heres your iced coffee," he smiled.
"So needed that. Today was draining," i laughed.
"I get that," me and him spent the rest of the night talking.