"Please what? Tell you it's okay? Tell you that I forgive you?"
"I wasn't meant to go this far. I swear."
"Don't you leave you. Don't you dare fucking leave me."
"I'm so sorry, Reign. I'm so fucking sorry."
Brixton tries to pull me into his arms, but I push him away.
"Don't touch me! Get away from me. I hate you. I hate you so much."
I hear Jenny chuckle as she takes a hold of Brixton's arm. He tries to pull out her reach, but she whispers something to him that makes him stop. Probably a sex thing. He's just a liar. He fucking used me. I thought we were together. I thought we loved each other. I thought we were an 'us', but that was a lie. There was never an 'us'. I lean against the cold, hard wall, and I slowly sink to the floor. Tears stream down my face like rivers. I try to take a deep breath, but nothing happens. I'm suffocating.
"Reign! Where are you? Reign!"
I try to answer, but my hand grasps at my throat, no words able to come out. I'm choking. I'm dying. A figure comes sprinting through the darkness, a flashlight in hand. When it kneels down, I see that Nick is squatting in front of me. He peels my hand from my throat, giving it a soft squeeze.
"You are going to be just fine."
I can't breath. I point at my throat, the tears choking me up.
"Hey, just look at me. Watch me breathe, okay? You are going to be okay."
He places my hand on his chest, and I try to slowly match my breath with Nick's.
"Dexter, I found her."
Dexter comes bolting around the corner, squatting right next to Nick.
"Is she okay?"
"She was having a panic attack, but she'll be alright."
"He's a jackass, Reign."
I smile, finally being able to take a breath.
"Yeah, fuck him. Not like fuck him, but fuck him. Do you know where I'm getting at, Rei?"
"I do."
The two of them breathe a sigh of relief. I push myself off the cold floor, looking down the dark hallway. I clench my bottom jaw, feeling completely numb.
"Where are you going?"
"I have no fucking idea, but I need to get out of here."
"Rei. Think about this for a minute."
"What's there to think about?"
"About the fact that the man you love abandoned you for-"
"The woman I was most worried about."
"Yes, exactly that."
"He chose who he wanted to choose. I can't change the fact that it wasn't me. That only means he wasn't the one."
Dexter and Nick look at me, sorrow filling their eyes.
One week later:
I watch him walk towards me. Unfortunately the only thing my brain is thinking is about how handsome he looks. Memories about the things we have done with each other float through my brain, and I desperately try to shove them away. The closer he gets the safer I feel yet he is the most dangerous man on the planet to me.
He can rip my heart into a million pieces, and he has once. That's what terrifies me the most. If I allow myself to fall, my whole heart will be in his hands. Can I do that to myself? Can I even trust him enough? Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing was the same the day I met him.
"Hello, Reign."
"Hi, Brixton."
"Where would you like to talk?"
"Anywhere."
Brixton slowly takes my arm, and I'm so frozen that I allow him to. Once we sit in the corner of the coffee shop, I can finally breathe. The warm atmosphere calms my racing heart. I chew on my bottom lip, feeling small pinches as I move it between my teeth.
My hands are starting to clam up, and for the hundredth time, I have to wipe them against my jeans. I take a deep breath, but it's not enough. I really don't need to be having a panic attack right now. It's probably because I'm so very nervous about what Brixton is going to say.
"Reign, you look pale. Are you okay?"
"I'm just nervous."
"Don't have a panic attack on me, alright?"
"It's not like I can control them, idiot."
"If I told you to take a deep breath, what would you do?"
"Murder you. Right here, right now."
"You would most definitely go to jail."
"It would be so fucking worth it."
He glances at me, a small lazy smile on his face.
"Do you think we could take a walk? Talk outside, so we don't disturb anyone?"
Brixton nods his head in agreement and stands. He pulls out my chair for me, and he pushes it back in before allowing me to go first out of the café. He walks a certain direction, and I have no idea where we are going.
"What are we doing? Where are we going?"
"Ice cream."
"Really, Brixton? You want to do that now?"
"There's no better time, kitten."
"I don't want ice cream."
"Then where do you want to go?"
"Your apartment."
Brixton looks at me in surprise, but he doesn't argue with me. It takes about thirty minutes in the car with awkward silence for us to get there. He opens his door, and I find a spotless apartment which I didn't think would be true. Last time we argued, his apartment got completely destroyed. He helps me set my things down, and I get to talking.
"I really should hate you."
"I'm sorry that you can't, but for me, it's a blessing."
"Why?"
"I still have a chance to love you the same way you do me."
"You promised me that you wouldn't leave. You promised me."
"I tried finding you. I wanted to tell you the whole story."
"There's a story?"
"She was going to hurt you, Reign."
"Here's the thing, Brixton. She has every right to hurt me. I knew that you two had just broken up, and yet, I still chose to be with you. Jenny had every right to hate me."
"It doesn't matter. You're my girl, and she wanted to hurt you. You are mine to protect."
"You can't protect me from everything, Brixton."
"You belong to me. If you were ever hurt, do you know how painful that would be for me?"
"You can be a real selfish jerk, you know that right?"
"I know, but I'm not letting you go. I'm not letting you get hurt."
"I hate to break this to you, but you're the one that hurt me. You were the one that wanted me but was scared to be with me. You made me fall in love with you, and I followed you blindly. So, if she hurts me, it couldn't have been worse than what you did."
Brixton grimaces, pulling me towards him.
"Everything with Jenny is over. Everything. The two of us are over. We were over the minute you kissed me in the rain. She threatened to hurt you. I don't care what you have done. I don't care about any of it. You shouldn't care about any of it. She'll be fine."
"It was a mistake for us to do that."
"And I don't give a shit anymore. It was a mistake, but I'm over it. Why aren't you?"
"Why is this all coming back?"
"She got jealous. She saw the promise ring and flipped. Even after the whole diner thing with Grady, I guess she never really got over it."
"I guess we were being a little insensitive when we didn't take Jennys' feelings seriously. We started dating pretty immediately. Jenny was probably broken hearted."
Brixton throws his hands up in the arm, gesturing towards the sky and groaning in irritation.
"What do you want to do about that, kitten?"
"I want to apologize to her. We can get ice cream another day. For us to be able to be together, which I want more than you know, I have to apologize."
"She threatened to beat you to a pulp in your own living room, Reign!"
"She did what?"
"The only reason that happened was because she threatened you. I told you, I would never go back with her unless she was threatening you."
"I don't remember. That was a long time ago. That's also not deterring me from apologizing. It's not going to scare me."
"It's terrifying me. If she lays a finger on you...I swear to god..."
"Brixton. I'm not going to be able to live with myself if I don't apologize. Be selfless for just a minute and then you can go back to the whole act, okay?"
"I'm scared to lose you, kitten. I'm fucking terrified that I'm going to wake up one day, and you'll be gone. I don't want to lose you."
I wrap my arms around Brixton's waist, pulling him into a hug.
"That's okay, baby. I'm scared to lose you too. It's okay to be scared, but that only means we're doing something right. I've told you a lot about my grandpop, but one thing I didn't tell you was the quote that he would repeat to me every time I was scared. Or felt like I was going to lose everything. Or if I was nervous."
Brixton tilts in the cutest, most curious way. His lips dip slightly.
"What did he say?"