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Astrid visited Anakin's room to see if she could talk to him about the latest events, but when she creaked open his door, she found only Artoo in his room. Astrid smiled at the astromech as he darted towards her with an excited squeal.
"Artoo!" she greeted warmly as she patted his domed head. "It's good to see you. Can you do something for me?"
Artoo gave an enthusiastic beep that sounded something along the lines of, yes!
Astrid smiled as she told Artoo, "When Anakin comes back to his room, can you tell him to meet me outside in the temple courtyard? Tell him to go to the far right side of the courtyard in the shadows there."
Artoo gave another beep, and Astrid patted his domed head once more before departing the room in the direction of the courtyard. She didn't want to be caught lingering outside Anakin's room.
Many of the Padawans trained in the courtyard when outside, but Astrid figured most of the Padawans would be training indoors today in the training arena since it was blisteringly cold outside. Sure enough, the courtyard was fortunately deserted, and Astrid shoved her hands into the wide sleeves of her chestnut brown Jedi cloak as she slipped behind a tree in the far right corner of the courtyard.
She waited there for perhaps another hour, cheeks red, her hands and toes having long gone numb before she spotted Anakin walking across the courtyard. His face was disgruntled and his stride was stiff as he headed in her direction, and Astrid wondered if he was in an upset mood because of the recent news.
Anakin caught sight of her as she rounded the tree, and a smile blossomed across his face, replacing his frown. He began to jog towards her, and despite the eyes that could be on them from inside the temple, Astrid ran out to greet him with a grin.
She would always run to him.
They collided into each other's arms, and Astrid inhaled his familiar honeyed scent as his arms wrapped tightly around her. She let out a contented sigh as his delicious warmth enveloped her. She'd been standing in the cold for far too long.
But soon enough, he drew back, and his warmth was replaced by the frigid cold. The cold reminded Astrid of the day when the two of them had embarked into the caves to obtain their kyber crystals in Ilum.
She smiled bittersweetly at the memory.
But then Anakin was grasping her hand and tugging her behind the tree out of sight of any prying eyes, interrupting her thoughts. When they stopped out of sight behind the tree, Anakin kept ahold of her hand as he bent down to kiss her. Astrid sank into him as she deepened their kiss, his mouth warm and soft against hers. With the blessed heat of his touch, Astrid finally began to thaw.
"Have--have you heard the news?" Astrid asked him when they parted, inhaling the frigid air into her lungs in an attempt to catch her breath.
Anakin nodded and replied, "Chancellor Palpatine told me, himself." His gaze suddenly darkened, and he spoke in a low voice, "The Jedi Council want me to spy on him now, and with this new decision to have the Council report directly to Palpatine, I will be hard pressed to give them information."
"Well, that's a good thing," Astrid replied as relief coursed through her. "Chancellor Palpatine is turning into a dictator. The Council needs to keep an eye on him to find reason to force him out of office."
Anakin's sharp laugh surprised Astrid, and she sensed suddenly through the Force, Anakin's anger and frustration. "What?" she asked in a whisper, her brow furrowing into a frown.
Anakin only shook his head and said, "What reason could the Council possibly find to force him out of office, Astrid? Palpatine is doing everything he can to win this war, a war that will determine the future of our democracy."
He suddenly grasped both of her hands, his grip tight-- too tight-- as he added, "Sometimes you might have to do bad things-- necessary things-- to get what you want done, Astrid. Palpatine wants the war to be over. If taking control of Senate and Jedi Council is what is needed to be done to achieve that, then so be it."
Astrid stared at Anakin as if she didn't recognize him. This was the last thing she had expected from him. She thought he would be like her; outcrying this obvious abuse of power.
Anakin noticed the horror on her face, and he gave her an exasperated look as he said sharply, "Don't look at me like that, Astrid. Palpatine is a good man."
"You don't even say Chancellor Palpatine anymore," Astrid whispered with a disbelieving shake of her head. "What are you doing, Anakin? Are you too blind to see the truth in the Chancellor's actions? Are you too close to him to see?"
"To see what?" Anakin exploded, releasing her hands to throw his arms out. "Did I not tell you before on Tatooine all those years ago that the Republic needed one sole government figure who would make everyone agree to get things done?" He didn't want for her response as he continued, "Well, that's what is happening now, and you know what? It's actually working! We're going to win the war!"
"At what price?" Astrid hissed angrily, infuriated by Anakin's lack of thought. "When all is said and done, we will have a dictatorship. Already, our democracy is crumbling! The Senate is practically dissolved!"
"Palpatine--"
"Our duty as Jedi is to protect the ideals of our Republic!" Astrid exclaimed, interrupting Anakin. "This is when the Jedi need to act as the keepers of the peace and justice. Chancellor Palpatine ought to be forcibly removed from office and arrested."
"Treasonous thoughts you hold, Astrid," Anakin seethed, his stormy eyes churning with fury.
"You have become too embroiled in politics, Anakin," Astrid refuted heatedly. She continued, her voice lowering in disapproval, "You have forgotten your duty as a Jedi. You have forgotten your allegiance to the Jedi Order and to the Republic."
Anakin's face was unforgiving as he remarked, "My allegiance to the Republic is one and the same as my allegiance to Palpatine. Palpatine is trying is best to protect and strengthen the Republic."
Astrid merely shook her head as she realized this argument was fruitless. Tears began to prick her eyes as she looked at Anakin, and she whispered, her voice trembling, "I don't even recognize you anymore, Anakin."
Anakin's face softened at the sight of her tears and the tremble in her voice, and he reached towards her with a gentle hand. But Astrid quickly sidled out of reach, and he grasped at nothing but frozen air.
"Astrid--" he protested quietly, but she only shook her head as she took another step back away from him.
"I don't know who you are," she said, her voice breaking, before she turned and fled, her cloak billowing behind her in the frigid wind.
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Anakin found Astrid in her room on her bed, her face hidden from view as she cried into the pillow clutched tightly in her arms. Anakin was immediately wracked with guilt at the sound of her cries, and he admonished himself for letting his frustration towards the Jedi Council get to him during his conversation with Astrid.
"Astrid?" he asked softly to announce his presence.
"Go away," she spoke gruffly, her voice muffled through her pillow. "I don't want to see you anymore."
Her words torn his heart into two, and he took a step forward as he pleaded, "Astrid, please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of what I said. I was just angry at the Jedi Council."
Astrid's shaking shoulders began to slow at his words, and she lifted her face from her pillow to look at him. His heart broken once more at the sight of her tear streaked face and swollen, red-rimmed eyes.
"What for?" she asked stiffly as she wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand.
Anakin let out a sigh as he explained, "Chancellor Palpatine requested the Jedi Council to be his representative on the Jedi Council. The Jedi Council approved his request, but they didn't allow me the rank of Master."
Astrid inhaled a shuddering breath, and she released it as she said, "Oh."
Anakin ran a hand through his hair as he continued, "It's insulting to not grant me the rank of Master! Everyone who has been admitted onto the Council has been promoted to the rank of Master. So why not me?"
Astrid gave him a sad look as she spoke quietly, "To be on the Council is a great honor, Anakin. At your age... it's quite a feat. It's never happened before."
Anakin merely shook his head and said, "Obi-Wan told me it was because I was too close to Palpatine. That the Council doesn't like it when he interferes with Jedi affairs. But that is unrelated! I am powerful enough to be a Master! What does my relationship with Palpatine have anything to do with it?"
He didn't wait for Astrid's response before he muttered darkly, "Maybe they're threatened by me. They're upset because I am the youngest to serve."
"Anakin, those are dark thoughts full of pride and jealousy," Astrid warned him quietly, her voice stuffy from crying. "Those are not the thoughts of a Jedi."
Anakin hung his head as he sensed her disapproval and realized the truth in her words, even as his anger and frustration towards the Council remained.
Astrid added with a hint of anger, "But it appears your friendship with the Chancellor has paid off."
Anakin's gaze flicked up to Astrid, and he looked at her imploringly as he murmured in an attempt for some sort of defense, "I didn't ask to be put on the Council."
Astrid's face softened at his words, and she rose to her feet before walking towards him. Anakin watched her with tentative hope as she stopped before him and peered up into his face.
"I know," she whispered as she grasped his hand. "But you must remember, Anakin, to be wary of Chancellor Palpatine. Something is wrong. I can sense it through the Force."
Anakin only nodded, not wanting to fight again with her, and Astrid twined her arms behind his neck as she rose onto her toes and kissed him. They kissed slowly at first, both of their eyes fluttering closed as they leaned into the other's touch. Anakin's arms wrapped loosely around her waist, his hands coming to rest on her hips.
"I leave for Felucia tomorrow morning," Astrid murmured against his lips.
Anakin drew away in shock, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. "Why? I thought all of the Outer Rim sieges were coming to an end."
Astrid only gave him a small smile and replied, "The siege on Felucia is almost over, but Master Secura requested my help." She brought his hand to her mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles as she continued, "I couldn't say no to her."
"But the baby--"
"I know," she interjected firmly, mouth thin with displeasure. "I'll try to stay out of the fighting, but there's no much I can do to avoid it." One side of her mouth tugged upwards as she added with a smirk, "Do you not trust me to take care of myself? What's a battle droid against my lightsaber?"
Anakin couldn't bring himself to smile at her teasing. He was too worried. He couldn't help but recall his nightmare from last night. In his dream, Astrid had been shot down by blaster fire, most likely Separatist blaster fire.
And here she was going to a war front with Separatist droids firing blaster fire. It was too eerily similar to his dream, and he was afraid of it coming true. "Let me come with you," he murmured softly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
Astrid gave him a sad smile, perhaps sensing his fear through the Force. "I'll be fine, Anakin. Besides, you're needed here to watch the Chancellor for the Council."
"I don't care about the Chancellor and the Jedi Council," Anakin protested. "I only care about you and our baby." He slid a hand down her arm to her stomach, and he noticed with no small amount of surprise that he could feel a slight bump there.
Astrid sensed Anakin's sudden surprise through the Force, and upon realizing the meaning of his surprise, she smiled and tugged her tunic upwards to give him a clear look of her slight bump. He inhaled sharply as he beheld her bare stomach and the bump there. His hand was hot against her bare skin as he gently laid his hand on her abdomen.
Astrid watched his face as he stared down at her pregnant stomach. "I think it's a boy," she told him softly with a quiet smile.
He looked up at her with a smile as he replied, "How do you know?"
"Motherly intuition," she told him with a wink.
He looked back down at her stomach with a grin before countering "I think it's a girl." His eyes flicked up to her face as he added, "She's strong like her mother."
Joy swelled inside Astrid's chest, replacing her earlier sadness, as she gave Anakin a wide smile. "Or it's a boy. Reckless and brave like his father."
Anakin thew his head back and laughed, and Astrid couldn't help but laugh with him. She was glad they had seemingly gotten past their fight. Astrid was simply glad to be with him, laughing with him.
After all, she didn't know when she would see him again. This siege may last longer than predicted. And with the volatile political climate on Coruscant, things could take a sharp turn to the worst in a blink of an eye.
Astrid gripped his hand in hers, suddenly solemn, and asked quietly, "Stay with me tonight?"
Anakin's smile dissipated as he noted the seriousness in her voice and in her face, and he nodded as he replied, voice thick with emotion, "Of course."
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Anakin peered down at the glowing, radiantly colorful landscape below him, watching from somewhere above in the planet's cloudy sky. Judging by the colorful, glowing leafs and the characteristically massive fungi everywhere, Anakin realized it was Felucia he was gazing down upon.
Suddenly, he began to plummet downwards as the sound of blaster fire rang out in the air, and he tore through the glowing, colorful jungle foliage to the ground in time to see Astrid laying alone on the soft dirt, bleeding profusely from a wound he could not see, her attackers having already disappeared.
Her eyes fluttered weakly as crimson blood pooled around her, and even as Anakin tried to run towards her, desperation causing his heart to race, he was stuck in place, immovable as she suffered before him.
"Astrid!" he shouted, his voice rough from use as if he had already been screaming.
She reached a hand towards him, their eyes meeting, and Anakin yelled again as if his voice could tether her to the living world, "Astrid! Stay with me! No!"
"Anakin," she whispered weakly. "I love you, always and forever."
It was as if he was reliving his mother's death, but instead it was Astrid. And yet again, he was helpless to save her. Anger and despair roared through Anakin, and he screamed--
Anakin was hurtled awake, his heart racing as his pants filled the darkened room, and he realized Astrid was hovering over him, her green eyes wide with concern. She ran a soothing hand through his hair, brushing it back from his forehead as she said gently, "Anakin, I'm right here. I'm okay."
No, no she was not okay, he thought in a panic, unable to get the words out. She was going to die on Felucia. And he wouldn't be there to save her because he was stuck here on Coruscant on the Council's orders, fulfilling an order that was against the Jedi Code.
His wild, fearful eyes scanned her face, searching her for injury, and Astrid ran a hand down his cheek. "It was just a dream," she consoled him in a whisper. "Nothing more."
And then he broke down into sobs, his nightmare too horrid for him to bear. Astrid clutched him to her as he wept into her stomach, and he felt her hand rubbing soothing strokes up and down his bare, sweat-covered back.
"What was it this time?" Astrid asked softly when his tears began to ebb.
He clutched her tightly, terrified that if he let go, she would somehow drift away on a phantom wind, never to return again. When he managed to find his voice, he said, "I saw you dying before my eyes, and I--I couldn't save you. You were on Felucia."
He felt Astrid's breath hitch a little at his words, but her hands didn't stop their soothing stroking. "Anakin, don't worry about me. Master Secura will be there with me. It's almost impossible for a few droids to take down two Jedi," she reassured him, but it did little to comfort him.
In his dream, it had been possible for the droids to kill her, although he wasn't sure of Master Secura's fate. His dreams seemed to revolve solely around Astrid. But what if Astrid died trying to protect Master Secura, while Master Secura lived? And maybe Master Secura got away, leaving Astrid alone to die, and that's why he hadn't seen the Jedi in his dream--
Now, his thoughts sounded irrational, illogical, and mildly hysterical.
Yet, Anakin couldn't shake off his lingering fear for Astrid's safety. If Anakin's dreams about his mother had come true, then why wouldn't this dream come true?
As Anakin clutched at his wife, he vowed that he would do what he had failed to do for his mother; he would save Astrid. Anakin would do anything, anything to save Astrid from dying. He would sell his very soul if it meant she would live.
He would learn how to keep her from dying.
If only he had access to the texts in the Jedi Temple library, texts that only Jedi Masters have access to--
No, Anakin would find another way to learn this ability to save Astrid from death because surely, surely it was possible to learn. Eventually, Anakin fell into a fortunately dreamless sleep-- a rarity these days-- to the soothing feeling of Astrid's fingers through his hair and down his back.
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Sorry I took a while to update!! My classes started yesterday, and when I say I've already had about four mental breakdowns over how overwhelmed with work I am, I would not be lying ahaha it's fine it's fine...
Anyways, thank you for all of the reads, votes, and comments!! If you have any criticisms or suggestions, feel free to let me know!! <3
--Paradise_Palms