Ever since I was a little girl, the love that was taught from my father was the only thing I've ever known. I always remember this one memory from my childhood, I went to a friends house one time and for the first time in my life I witnessed how a father "should act" towards his daughter he was interacting with her in a way I've never gotten or seen. You see my father was the type of man who never hugged me, held me, played with me or even said the three words a parent should say "I love you".
From that day on my needs for wanting to have that kind of love went deep, I've always known I'm attractive and I used that to my advantage to full fill my needs. Older men have this power to turn me on to set me over the edge it's a drug that my body needs.
That being said I've never been with a guy my age, they just can't hit the spots I need. They're still in training on knowing how to pleasure a woman which is quite sad if we're being honest.
High school is the same old thing in every school, you have the jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, wannabes etc. I don't consider myself to be popular though I'm nice to everyone who deserves it don't get me wrong, I can be the most cold hearted bitch you've ever seen.
I may be nice to everyone around me but I only have one realistic best friend who doesn't judge me for who I am, who's also showed me what faithful love is in a friendship. Lovella she was the same little girl who invited me to her house that one day and even if she didn't know it she gave me the opportunity to witness what real love was like between a father and daughter.
I'm not even going to try and deny the envy I had with Lovella and her relationship with her father, but I knew deep down inside everything happens for a reason. That eventually the reason why I never experienced that type of love before was God's way of showing me how strong of a woman I am and how I don't need to depend on anybody but myself.
Down the road though God would show me the person I've been waiting my entire life for and the true meaning of love and how absolutely terrifying yet beautiful it is to give your whole heart to someone and fall madly in love.