"It doesn't look bad, it actually looks really nice."
Groaning, I run a hand through my hair that is much shorter than it had been previously and say, "It's just hair, I can live."
I really don't mind that they cut my hair considering if I had known that it was too long, I would've done it myself. Especially because it still goes just past my shoulders so it's not like they shaved it off.
The part that bothers me is how obnoxiously Lieutenant Hemmings had demanded Major Hood to cut my hair and how in seconds it was gone. If Lieutenant Hemmings can get Major Hood to do something so quickly like that, I wonder what else he is capable of around here.
"I kind of like it short better," Michael says, making me narrow my eyes at him as he knows I would've much rather them to have handled it in a different way. He knows I don't need reassurance on how it looks. I don't care how it looks, there's no one to impress here.
I just want to stop thinking about it. Mostly because he had done it in front of absolutely everyone so I'm sure everyone thinks that I'm not serious about being here. This is the most taunting thought as I just want to earn respect and earn a proper spot in the army.
"I just hope to god he's not out to get me," I say, which I fear might be true.
It seems as if the little incident on the boat left me off with a bad start. It's clear that he thinks I'm not tough enough to be here which he's going to hold above me for as long as possible. Obviously I'm not a genius when it comes to all this, but I'm prepared to learn and do whatever it takes to fit in.
"No promises on that one," a voice other than Michael's says. "Rightfully so, might I add."
Looking behind me, I see Ashton right on my tail as he walks alongside me and keeps his gaze forward. Currently, we're all making our way towards our first workout as we had been given ten minutes to get dressed and prepare considering they promised that it would be absolutely miserable. A part of me dreads the thought of what's to come but I'm sure it won't even be half of what's to come in the near future.
Due to Ashton's presence, I bite my tongue to keep from firing back at him because I realize he's probably right in saying that Lieutenant Hemmings is most likely out to get me. There's no use in even denying it at this point.
However, I don't agree that Lieutenant Hemmings rightfully has a reason to be out to get me like Ashton insinuated. I'm sure Ashton's only saying this because he's just as angry at the idea of me being here. Lieutenant Hemmings on the other hand, he hardly knows me.
"How does he rightfully have a reason to be out to get me?" I press.
"Because people shouldn't sneak out of their homes and put themselves in danger," Ashton says, his tone firm.
I let out a loud sigh, not wanting to get into an argument right now considering my day is already off to a terrible start.
"Is this going to go on forever? I'm here, there's nothing to be done now."
Ashton opens his mouth to speak up but is cut off by Michael speaking up first, "I'm sorry, how do you two know each other again?"
I look to Ashton, seeing if he plans on answering but he just keeps a cold stare on me. I really can't believe he's reacting in such a way considering I've never seen him act like this. Especially when it comes to me.
He's always had my back.
Maybe to him, this is having my back. However, he can't change anything now so all I could ask for is his support.
Due to his silence, I take the opportunity to explain as I say shortly, "We grew up together. He's supposed to be one of my best friends who supports me in everything I do."
"And she's supposed to be back home instead of out here. Guess we can't always get what we want all the time, can we?" Ashton seethes seemingly getting more pissed off by the second that I'm here.
I feel myself getting angrier by the second and I'm just about to speak up and defend myself when Michael does it for me.
"I think it's admirable that she came out here to protect her family and keep the ones she loves safe. That takes guts."
I can't help but feel the corners of my lips curve up at Michael's words. Finally, someone who's appreciating and acknowledging the fact that I did this as an act of love, not one of stupidity. It seems as if all anyone wants to do is shame the fact that I'm here so for him to do otherwise makes me so thankful that there's someone out here who has my back.
"Her brother and myself care a lot about her and just want for her to be safe," Ashton says looking at me quickly, as if making sure I'm listening, before looking back to Michael. "Out here, I can't keep her safe."
Michael laughs a little before saying, "She's a big girl, she can take care of herself. She doesn't need you or her brother to do that for her."
I have to resist the urge to throw my arms around Michael and pull him in for a bone crushing hug as he's really standing up for me above and beyond.
"Girl's shouldn't be out here," Ashton says coldly, seeming to not know what else to say.
"Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she can't be as good as you or myself," Michael continues, not backing down in the slightest as he's fighting for my rights right now.
His words are incredibly comforting as he clearly believes in me and actually has faith in me. This is all I need considering no one here believes in me, even I don't even believe in me. However, Michael clearly does and that's enough for me to feel the slightest bit better.
"If it comes to throwing yourself in a field where you know nothing about, that also has your life at risk, you have to be an idiot not brave," Ashton says making my jaw clench.
If it weren't for Michael constantly firing back at him, I would've released all my frustration on him right this second.
"Considering I don't know anything beyond video games and I was forced into this due to my dad not approving of my dream to be a musician, I wouldn't say I'm an idiot, more so unlucky," Michael says making my heart hurt for him. However, I know that's the perfect comeback due to the way Ashton's been speaking.
Ashton seems taken aback by Michael's words as he stares at him, not really knowing what else to say. Clearly, Michael caught him off guard and made his words sound a lot worse than he probably meant for them to.
"And I would consider Lila just as unlucky as myself considering she came from a family with a dad in a wheelchair and a brother without an arm. Seems as if she didn't have much of an option either," Michael continues, putting Ashton to shame as I'm sure Ashton has nothing more to say.
I can't believe I witnessed him sticking up for me against my best friend who is continuously shooting me down and treating me like a kid. I've known this guy barely for a day and I already know he'll be one of the most important people to me here.
Do I add input? Should I say something to further the conversation? Do I just keep walking and let them battle it out?
Luckily, Ashton decides to be the one to say something as opens his mouth but is quickly beat to it by a loud booming voice coming from behind me, "Alright everyone, listen up!"
Turning around, I see Major Hood walking up to our crowd of people and giving off a tough demeanor, just as he had done earlier. I don't fail to notice the way his strong arms are on show due to the muscle tank top he wears. On top of that, he wears a serious expression on his face that is enough to make me want to look away due to the intensity of it.
"We're going to start off with basic strength exercises. They will all be performed outside and you will move to different stations to perform each task. Lieutenant Hemmings and myself will be walking around and making sure no one is slacking or not completing the tasks."
Strength, dear god.
That's certainly one thing I don't have a lot of confidence in. Especially because I used to go to the gym and do plenty of cardio, but I hardly ever touched the weights section out of pure fear of embarrassment.
If this is going to be my first impression through workouts, I already know today will go horribly.
"Separate into groups of eight, you have 30 seconds."
Looking around, I see eight different stations set up that all look fairly similar. I jog over to a section to my left and Michael follows me on my tail as we rush over, refusing to be last in any way. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into in this section, but I know I'll have to do it eventually so there's no point in trying to find the right one.
Everyone else seems to be concerned in finding a good station and I don't fail to notice them all venture to one a few over from me.
"You will be moving clockwise, each station is about ten minutes or so," Major Hood continues. "We will decide if you do the rotation more than once."
The thought is taunting but I remind myself that I have to put in as much effort as Declan would. I'm out here in place of him so I have to work harder than he could in order to make up for his absense. I can't half-ass it, I have to give it my all. I have to prove to Ashton I can be here.
Pulling both of my arms behind my back, I try to subtly stretch a little in order to prepare myself. No one else seems to do the same as they all look ready as ever to endure whatever workout they have to do.
Everyone seems to sharpen up the second Lieutenant Hemmings' presence is known. He walks towards all of us with a confident and intimidating demeanor. I immediately look away from him, in fear of catching his attention as he goes to the other side of people and Major Hood comes towards us. My eyes trail towards Major Hoods', awaiting further instruction as he keeps his chin tilted high and shoulders broad. He gives off an intimidating vibe just like Lieutenant Hemmings, and his size sure doesn't make me any less scared.
"Lieutenant Hemmings and I will be counting and everyone will be following the same count," Major Hood yells once again. "No one is to stop or take a break or we all start over."
I cringe at those words, being terrified of potentially being the one that makes everyone start over. I have to push through it no matter how painful it is or else I'm going to make a fool of myself.
Major Hood turns to our group and says, "You guys will be starting with push ups."
Oh, great.
Everyone doesn't hesitate to get to the ground, and I follow all of them as Michael does the same. I take this time to notice I'm the only female in this group which is even more threatening to me. Especially because I don't fail notice that most of the girls went to the same station as I'm sure they're expecting special treatment.
"Like I said, everyone will follow our count, no breaks or stopping," Major Hood re-emphasizes as he eyes everyone.
I keep my mouth shut as I prepare for this dreadful task and just tell myself that I can do it. I don't need to stop, I can do it. I need to do it for Declan because if not me, it'll be him.
"On the ground!"
Not hesitating to get in my push up position, I press my toes and palms to the ground, making sure to keep my back and arms straight.
"One, down!"
Pushing myself down, I wait until further instruction to push myself back up as my arms remain at a 90 degree angle.
"Up!"
Pressing my palms into the ground, I push myself up and wait for him to announce the next. I keep myself focused on anything but the actual work out and try to ignore the pain that may course through me.
Major Hood walks away to stare at the next group as he continues to order us. I keep up with it luckily and don't let myself get distracted as I keep my thoughts on myself and not how everyone else is doing.
A part of me wishes we had some form of music instead of me in this barren land listening to Major Hood and Lieutenant Hemmings scream at us "Up! Down!" I feel like a robot as I do exactly as they say and don't hesitate for a moment.
This feels as if it's the exact definition of torture.
"Fifteen, down!"
I notice Lieutenant Hemmings's voice coming closer to our direction which makes my heart rate pick up in fear. I keep my focus on my hands instead of making eye contact with him because I know if I do he'll test me even further.
"Up!"
I almost jump at the proximity of his voice. How did he get so close so quickly? Does he know this is me right here? Should I cry now?
I can't focus on him; he wants to see me fail. I can't let him hold my failure above me. Instead, I need to prove him wrong.
Footsteps near me as we make our way into the twenties and at this point I definitely feel my arms wanting to give out on me. The heat out here surely doesn't help myself accomplish tasks like these as I try to ignore the pain.
"22, down!"
I know Lieutenant Hemmings is close and that's certainly enough to make me make sure I'm doing this perfectly. After all, the second I slip-up, it's game over for me and I'm sure he's has a torture treatment already planned.
"Up!" He yells making me practically jump as the voice is right above me.
God dammit.
Forcing myself up, I feel myself not as capable as I had been originally. However, now that Lieutenant Hemmings is right above me, I know I can't give up and let him win.
With shaky arms, I push myself up and try to regain my breath as I stare at the ground and pant. I want nothing more than to just collapse and call it quits. I'm well aware though that if I do that, Lieutenant Hemmings wins, and I have to start all over with this all and it'll be even worse.
"23, down!"
Hesitantly, I lean down and feel my arms shaking uncontrollably as I regret not building my strength in push-ups at any point in my life. I can't say I've ever done much of them but now I really wish I had.
Especially as I feel pain soar through my arms as I know Lieutenant Hemmings is directly above me. I remind myself that Lieutenant Hemmings can't win and Ashton can't win. I need to win.
I'm going to win, and I'm going to win for Declan.
"Up!"
Just as I push up, I notice a dark pair of boots approach the front of me. My heart races in anticipation as it isn't long before that person squats down in front of me. I fear making eye contact with whoever it is but I also know it's inevitable as my gaze drifts upwards and I feel my stomach drop.
Lieutenant Hemmings squats in front of me, his eyes on mine entirely as his gaze is dark and absolutely terrifying. His stare is hard on my own as he looks for any sign of weakness in my eyes. However, I just tear my gaze away from him and do my best to not give in.
"24, down!"
I take a second before pushing down and breath heavily as I watch a drip of sweat fall off my face.
"Up!" Lieutenant Hemmings yells in my face.
Going back up, I let myself look at him and try to get him to sympathize for me. Why is he so out to get me? Is it that bad that I'm here? Why can't he just respect me? Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I don't deserve to be here.
I don't understand what it takes to prove that I deserve to be here just like everyone else.
"You want to give up, I know you do. I can see it in your eyes," he taunts me, as he tilts his head at me.
Shaking my head no, I say nothing in response as Major Hood screams for us to go down once again, and I abide.
"Just give up already, you can't do it," Lieutenant Hemmings says, his tone serious as he clearly truly believes his words.
I shake my head once again and say quietly, "No, sir."
"What was that? I couldn't hear you."
Getting beyond frustrated, I push myself up and say louder this time, "No, sir!"
His eyebrows shoot up slightly, amused by my affirmation as he clearly expected a different reaction from me. However, he needs to understand that I'm not going to give into his teasing because I know that's exactly what he wants me to do.
Lieutenant Hemmings just smirks at my response and shrugs in response, "Okay."
Furrowing my eyebrows, I wonder why he's given up taunting me already. Maybe I said what he wanted to hear and he's finding his next temporary victim?
Lieutenant Hemmings pushes himself off the ground and I begin to think he's going to leave me alone at last. In fact, I let out a huge sigh of relief as I close my eyes in satisfaction and let out a deep breath I hadn't even realized I was holding.
Just as I think too soon, a boot is pressed into my back, and I hear Lieutenant Hemmings scream, "Everyone, you're done. Lila, you've got ten more."
Feeling my heart stop, I watch as everyone stops what they're doing and catches their breath. This is a joke, right? How is this fair? I didn't give up and now he's punishing me for it? What the hell does he want from me?
I go to fight it as I open my mouth but Lieutenant Hemmings beats me to it.
"I told you to quit and you said no. So keep going then," Lieutenant Hemmings says, keeping his boot on my back. "Give me ten push ups, right now."
Everyone's eyes are on me and I can see the fear in their eyes for me as I'm sure they're terrified of the thought of that having potentially been them. It's clear Lieutenant Hemmings is not one to mess with but at this point, I don't think I'll ever escape him.
Instead of trying to fight it in front of everyone, I drop down to do a push up. My arms are definitely so close to giving out on me, and having everyone stare at me sure as hell isn't making anything better. I try to ignore this as best as I can but I know this is going to be challenging.
I push myself back up, breathing heavily as I fear that will piss him off too. It seems as if everything I do is a problem to him and I really can't fathom why he could possibly be out to get me as much as he is.
"That's one," Lieutenant Hemmings says, as if it weren't obvious.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes, knowing all eyes are on me and I'm sure someone would tell him just for the enjoyment of watching him torture me further.
"Let's go, I don't have all damn day," he barks at me, digging his boot against me further which makes me quickly drop once more, almost collapsing in the process.
Is it really necessary to be digging his damn boot into my back?
I push myself back up, knowing my arms are going to be so sore for the next week. I'm incredibly impressed that I've managed to keep this up as long as I have as of right now. It must be adrenaline keeping me from giving out.
Going back down to do another, his foot presses deeper into my back which causes me to immediately collapse to the ground as I'm convinced that that was his intention. Nonetheless, my heart stops completely and the place falls silent as everyone anxiously awaits what's going to happen next.
I want to open my mouth and challenge him and tell him that he was the cause of my failure but I know it's best to just stay quiet and await whatever it is he's going to say that will probably haunt me in my sleep.
Due to his lack of response, I can't help but look up to him to see a bored look on his face as his eyes continue to remain on me and I'm shocked that he's staying silent right now. Isn't he going to say something about how incapable I am? How I don't deserve to be here and how I'm never going to succeed in his army?
I'm just about to ask what now when he beats me to it as he raises his eyebrows, "What are you waiting for?"
I furrow my own as I'm confused by his question and don't know what he means by it. What does that mean? Am I supposed to be doing something right now?
"What-"
"You messed up," Lieutenant Hemmings says, crossing his arms over his chest. "You mess up, you start over."
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Anger courses through me and I can't control the words that spew from my mouth as I ask, "That's a joke, right? You literally-"
"Thirty push-ups, James," Lieutenant Hemmings says, his voice raising. "Now."
I sit there with my mouth wide opened as he had added twenty more and I'm sure it's due to me speaking up against him. However, the thought of doing thirty push-ups is enough to make me want to puke. I can't manage that.
Hell, I could barely just now do two.
I look to Michael, seeing the terror and sympathy in his eyes for me. I'm sure no one wants to be in my shoes right now and I'm even more sure that they're terrified that they'll be the next victim of Lieutenant Hemmings.
"If you don't start right now, I will add another twenty."
Knowing he's telling the truth, I immediately begin the task in hopes of accomplishing it. I definitely can't promise that I'll be able to do this but the more I stall, the worse the consequences will be.
So with that, I push myself down, watching Lieutenant Hemmings walk away as he yells to Major Hood.
"Hood, watch James and make sure she does thirty," he says, demandingly.
I close my eyes, knowing that someone will see the anger in them and find amusement in it as I'm being ripped apart for Lieutenant Hemmings' own entertainment. I can only imagine how fun it must've been for everyone to witness as someone else was getting tortured and it didn't effect them in the slightest.
Unfortunately, I'm well aware that this is just the beginning and the worst is yet to come. I know for damn sure that Lieutenant Hemmings is going to do whatever it takes to make me feel unwelcome here and I'm sure Ashton is going to relish in every second of it.
a/n
heeyooo
told u guys he's gonna be a major ass
don't worry he only gets worse (-,:
hope u liked!!!!
thank u for reading, love u guys dearly and sending u all the love in the whole world