When I wake up I look down to see Jax's arm around my waist. I turn my head slightly causing him to groan.
"Good morning." I say turning around completely.
"Morning." He says and kisses me.
"Did you sleep okay?" I ask and he nods.
"You fell asleep quite early last night." He says and I smile slightly.
"I was tired." I admit.
"Alright love birds breakfast is done." James says causing us to pull away.
"How incredibly cute you guys." He says and I roll my eyes. He's so annoying sometimes.
"I'll take Alannah downstairs don't worry." James says.
I get up and hold Jax's hand as we head downstairs to the dining room. I check in my room quickly to make sure Alannah had definitely gone down for breakfast.
I walk into the dining room with Jax behing me slightly.
"Mommy!" Alannah stands from her chair and rushes over to me.
"Hey bub." I say picking her up.
"How'd you sleep?" I ask sitting her at the table.
"Bad." She admits as I brush a baby hair out of her face.
"Why didn't you come and wake me up bub?" I ask.
"I know you were tired and I didn't want you to be upset with me for waking you up." She says and starts crying.
Oh god my chest.
"Bub." I say and kiss her cheek whilst she cries.
"Sorry I'm just going to take Alannah out calm her down. Two minutes." I say picking Alannah up and heading out the dining room.
We get into the living room and I sit down and put Alannah on my lap.
"Bub you know I will never ever be upset if you wake me up because of your bad dreams." I say and she nods.
"I was also scared to walk across the hall to your room." She says and I nod.
"I'll figure something out sweetheart so it's better for you. I hate it when your like this bub, you need to tell me so I can help you." I say and she nods.
"I love you but if we don't head back in there Jax will die of awkwardness." I say and she laughs.
I take her hand and head back into the dining room.
"Everything alright?" Jax questions as we sit at the table.
"Yeah." I say and smile slightly.
"What times your flight James?" I ask whilst cutting up Alannah's food.
"Um my flight isn't till two but we're going to leave around eleven ish." He says and I nod.
Alannah starts crying again and I look down at her.
"Bub what's wrong?" I ask wiping the tears as they fall down her face.
"I don't want James to leave." She says and I nod.
"I know, it's only for about two to three weeks and he'll be back." I say which doesn't calm her down.
"Sorry, she didn't sleep well so she's really emotional today." I say as she cries into my chest. I haven't moved her into my lap yet but I was just calming her down.
It took Alannah and I longer then everyone else to finish our breakfast.
Once we were finished I only quickly get me and Alannah ready so we could spend as much time with James as possible.
James and Alannah were playing in the fort one last time.
Jax comes out of the bathroom dressed in some jeans and a black hoodie. His hair was still wet which made him look a million times hotter.
He gives me a quick kiss before sitting at my desk and going on his phone.
We were all having a nice time when David shouted for James to say goodbye. We sighed and went downstairs. James carried Alannah till we got to the foyer where he put her down.
He put on his shoes and then said goodbye to Jax.
He then turns to me and I frown.
"Are you sure you have to go?" I whisper and he laughs.
"You know I do." He says and I sigh.
He pulls me into a hug and rests his head on my forehead.
"You know, I will miss not seeing your dumb face." He says making me laugh.
We pull away from the hug and he wipes away some stray tears on my face.
"I hate seeing you cry stop it." He complains. "You'll be fine." He tells me and I smile half heartedly.
"I love you." He says and I smile a proper smile this time.
"I love you too." I say and he kisses my forehead.
He looks down to Alannah who was holding Nicole's hand.He leans down and picks her up.
"You can call me whenever you want okay? You know I love you right." James says and Alannah nods.
"I love you too James." She says.
He wipes away her tears and kisses her forehead.
"Don't tell mommy but your my favourite Fernandez." He attempts to whisper. I smile and lean into Jax.
"Now Narna I have to go but I love you lots and lots." He says kissing both of her cheeks.
He places her down on the floor and and Nicole gives us a sympathetic smile.
David and Nicole are taking James to the airport so they're not saying goodbye just yet.
When the door shuts Alannah's cry turns into a heartbreaking sob. I wipe away my last tear before leaning down and picking her up.
"Hey hey he'll be back before you know it." I say. Kissing her cheek.
''I'm going to put her down for a nap." I say to Jax and he nods and follows me up to my room.
I sit on the bed and Alannah sits in my lap.
"He's going to come back he promised you. But he has to go to school bub." I say and kiss her forehead.
"Remember school. He's got to go to school so he can become a football player, remember?" I question and she nods.
I lie Alannah down on the bed. I lie down beside her and tuck a strand of her hair behind her.
It didn't take long for Alannah to fall to sleep.
"She won't be as emotional now." I say standing up.
"Bless her." Jax says and I smile.
"Are you okay though?" Jax asks and I nod.
"I know he's coming back. He wouldn't dare leave us." I say smiling slightly.
"I don't want you to take offence to this but do you think Alannah has anxiety?" He asks and I look between him and Alannah.
"No." I never thought about it. I know she can get quite emotional and needy but don't a lot of kids?
"Its just..." He starts then stops to take a deep breath. "Don't take too long till you act on it." he says and I nod.
Maybe I should look into it? I don't want to scare her though.
"Let's make a deal." He says and I raise my eyebrow and pull a face. Not a funny face more like a sceptical one. He puts his hands on either side of my shoulders then looks at me.
"If she's still acting the same in March, we'll get a doctor's advice." He says and before I can say anything he continues.
"Please, I've seen how kids who go through trauma at a young age turn out." He says. "It's just advice from a doctor and if he says that he doubts she has it I'll let you punch me really hard." He says I laugh slightly before looking anywhere but his eyes.
"I only want for her to be happy." Jax says and I nod. Me too.
"Okay." I say and he smiles and kisses my cheek.
I sat with Jax at my desk the whole time Alannah was asleep.
I didn't want her to get scared or worried about finding me. I heard the front door open but I didn't move. I know its Nicole and David.
You'd think that it would get easier for all of us each time he left. But it never does, we all cry and wish there was a way for him to stay.
This is the sixth time James has left to go back to school in LA. But it still feels the exact same as the first time.
"Do you want anything for lunch?" Nicole asks knocking on my bedroom door slightly.
"I'm not hungry thank you." Jax says and she looks at me.
"No thank you." I say and she nods and smiles sympathetically before heading out.
"Are you okay?" Jax asks looking at me with a worried expression.
Was I okay? I mean yeah sure I'm fine it's just between James leaving and Jax thinking Alannah has anxiety. It was giving me a headache while thinking about it all for the millionth time.
"Yeah." I say and smile at him.
When Alannah wakes up she comes over and colours at the desk with Jax. Whilst I pack away all the blankets, pillows and fairy lights from the fort.
I put then all away and then make my bed again from where Alannah had slept.
"Mama look." Alannah says showing me her picture.
"It's amazing." I say and she smiles.
"I can't wait for Christmas, its going to be the best." She says and I smile.
"Jax you need to try mama's Christmas cookies." She tells him and Jax nods.
"I'm sure I will." Jax says smiling.
After a couple of hours we were all sat in the dining room having dinner.
It was extremely quiet this evening. We normally talk about David and Nicole's work or small talk atleast.
"So you and Alannah are going to Jax's on Tuesday?" David asks and I nod.
"Yeah we're going to meet his parents." I say and he nods.
"I didn't know you guys were getting that serious." He says and I look at him confused. He's the one who has been inviting Jax around for sleepovers.
"You should have thought about them getting closer the minute you started inviting Jax around for sleepovers." Nicole says.
This is getting really awkward really fast.
"Well yes I know that but I was looking out for Lara." He says and she rolls her eyes.
"Well good now look at how happy she is with Jax." Nicole says.
"What is wrong with you today?" David asks dropping his knife and fork in his plate.
It makes a loud noise and Alannah starts crying. I've never been so grateful for something so much in my life.
That sounds bad but I'm pretty sure Alannah and Jax want to get out of here just as much as I do.
I rush over to Alannah who was sat beside Jax. Jax was already attempting to calm her down.
"Shit." I hear David mutter but I didn't say anything.
I pick Alannah up and stand up and Jax follows me.
"I'm sorry for scaring you Alannah." David says but she was too busy crying into my shoulder.
We go up to my room and by the time we got there Alannah had calmed down so I placed her on the bed.
Jax sat on the bed and Alannah climbed into his lap. She then cuddled up to him and he cuddled her back.
"Why were David and Nicole arguing?" Alannah asks turning around on Jax's lap.
"Tension is running high today because everyone is upset bub. They'll be fine by tomorrow." I say kissing her forehead and she nods.
The rest of the evening we just chilled in our room watching films and raising Alannah's spirit.
It didn't work because come 7pm she was flat out asleep. Once she had fallen asleep I sorted the room out and got ready for bed.
I met Jax in the guest bedroom so we could both get ready for bed.
I climb into bed and grab my phone to text James.
Lara- How was your flight?
James- Long and boring, how is Alannah? I still feel bad.
Lara- She'll get over it but shes been quite emotional today.
James-awh I'm sorry.
Lara- it isn't your fault, entirely but like I said. She'll be fine
I put my phone on charge and turn on my side where me and Jax then spoon and talk.