It was 5am when I decided just to get up.
I think I had about half an hour sleep. I just can't sleep, I'm physically exhausted but I just couldn't sleep.
Jax never facetimed me back so that also didn't help. My mind kept wondering to if he was in an accident or something as I hadn't heard from him since he was on his way back.
I guess I would find out today if he was fine or not.
It was about 3 hours later when people started to wake up.
Alannah was playing with my hair and telling me about how much she can't wait to see Jax.
We both look up when there was a knock on the door.
"Breakfast." Nicole says.
"If you go down with Nicole look and I'll wake James up." I say helping Alannah off the bed and she runs over and holds Nicole's hand.
I walk through the bathroom into James room. He was still fast to sleep.
James is the type of person who sleeps in until like mid day if you let him. However when he comes home everyone likes to have breakfast together so he has to get up at like 9am.
When I see him sprawled out on his back I take this as the perfect opportunity to dive on him.
I run from the bathroom door and then dive on him. He jolts up straight up straight away.
"What the fuck?" He shouts and I laugh. I quickly rush to his door and open it.
"Your mom wants you downstairs for breakfast." I say and run downstairs before he can say anything.
"Morning." I say walking into the dinning room.
"Hi." Grandma Dee greets as I sit down.
James strolls into the dinning room really annoyed. I laugh to myself as I cut up Alannah's food.
"Are you alright James?" David asks as he sits opposite me and glares at me.
"Yeah fine." He says.
Just as we were finishing up with breakfast.
Well Nicole was telling me I shouldn't jump on James and David was just laughing. The doorbell rang and Grandma Dee went to get it.
"Are you okay though, do you need any painkillers or anything?" Nicole asks and James shakes his head.
"Lara isn't heavy or anything, it was just the shock." e says and David high fives me.
Alannah, James and I stand up to head upstairs to get ready.
We walk out of the dinning room to hear grandma Dee talking.
"They're just finishing up, Nicole is giving her a lecture." She says and Alannah runs over to the door once she sees him.
"Jax!" She shouts and hugs him.
I walk into the foyer where Jax had picked Alannah up and was cuddling her.
"That photo didn't do him enough justice sweetheart. Look at all his tattoos." Grandma Dee says and I smile at her.
"Alright Grandma." James says and she laughs.
She then squeezes my shoulder before walking away.
Jax puts Alannah down and I smile and walk over to him.
I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. He then pulls away slightly to kiss me.
"Oh jesus, Alannah cover your eyes." James says causing me to laugh and roll my eyes as I turn around.
"James, how have you been?" Jax asks and he nods.
"I've been good how have you been?" James asks taking his hands away from Alannah's eyes.
"Yeah I'm doing good as well." Jax says and he nods.
This is getting awkward actually and I'm pretty sure I look awful right now.
"I'm just going to give this talk now so it's out in the open." James says and Alannah skips over to Jax.
He then picks her up and she kisses his cheek.
"If you ever hurt Lara or Alannah or even do as much as make them cry. I don't care who you are and what you do, I will hurt you." James says and Jax nods.
"Understood." Jax says and puts his free arm up in defence.
"Well we're going to get ready." I say to James and he nods. I then head upstairs with Jax following behind with Alannah in his arms.
Jax places Alannah down on the bed whilst I go through the wardrobe and get out an outfit for her to wear today. I quickly choose an outfit and put it on my desk. I take Alannah off of the bed and make the bed quickly.
I sit at the foot of my bed and notice Jax was in causal clothes.
This is the first time I've seen him in causal clothes. Like sure I see him in joggers when we go to bed but other then that he is always in a god damm suit.
Don't get me wrong he looks attractive in a suit but he's just always in a suit. Jax was wearing black jeans with a black hoodie.
"Stop checking me out." Jax says meeting my eyes.
"I can't help it, your not in a suit." I say and he laughs.
"I'm joking. You can keep looking, I don't mind." He winks.
I take Alannah into the bathroom where I brush her teeth and clean her face.
Once she was clean I then get her dressed into blue jeans and a red jumper. I take her back into our room and she sits with Jax.
I get my clothes and head into the bathroom. I have a shower and wash my hair quickly.
Once I got out of the shower I get dressed and head into my room. James, Jax and Alannah were sat on my bed all talking.
I sit at my desk and blow dry then straighten my hair. Once I do my hair I do my makeup quickly.
"So what do you want to do today?" I ask Alannah.
"Can we go to the park now?" She asks and I nod.
"I want to go to a different park from the usual park though." Alannah says and I nod.
"Do you have plans today?" I ask Jax and he shakes his head.
"I have the weekend off." He says and I smile.
After putting Alannah's car seat in the back seat off my car.
James and Jax argue about who should sit in the front but Jax wan.
I put Alannah's music on and her and James sing to it.
"You look tired, you know I don't mind driving." Jax says looking at me.
"I'm fine." I tell him smiling.
I was taking us all to central park today.
Me and James went to the ice rink last night but we didn't actually go around the park. I was thinking about taking Alannah here some point now because I'm sure she'd enjoy running around.
"James can you make sure Alannah's coat is back there before we leave." I say putting my phone down.
"Its right here." He says lifting it up and I nod.
I make sure everyone was ready before we finally head off.
Jax's hand was on my thigh as I drove and it was had calmed me down.
I hadn't realised how tense I was until Jax's hand connected with my thigh.
"How was the Hamptons?" I ask even though I already basically know and he shrugs.
"It was boring." Be says texting with his other hand.
"Sorry, Gio won't stop blowing up my phone." He says and I laugh.
"How was Thanksgiving?" He asks and I smile to signal that it was good. Before I can say anything, Alannah speaks up for me.
"Mason reckons he would beat you in a fight." Alannah says and I mentally face palm.
"Not really he just wants to get in Lara's pants so it bruised his ego when his sister said you looked like you could break him in half with your hands." James tells Jax and I glance af him through the rear mirror.
"Mason is too big to get in mamas pants." Alannah says causing us all to laugh.
We get to central park and Alannah claps her hands when she sees how big the park actually is.
"Alannah put your coat on." I say once Jax helps her out of the car.
"I've got it don't worry." Jax says taking her coat from me and following her.
We walk round the park for a bit before going to the actual play bit.
Well Alannah was eager and for some reason so was James.
I walked with Jax, holding hands.
"So you talked about me to basically your family." Jax asks and I nod.
"Of course I did." I say, he smiles and leans down to kiss my cheek.
"Everyone can't wait for the day they meet you." I say and he glances down at me and smiles.
We watch James and Alannah run in front of us having fun.
We finally arrive at a park and me and Jax sit on a bench.
James and Alannah run over to us.
"Jax come and play with me." Alannah pleads. "Uh I don't kn--" he gets cut off by Alannah's pleading.
He gave in which made Alannah so happy. He then kisses my cheek before standing up and holding Alannah's hand.
"You look so much more happier when your with him." James says and I smile. "He's good with Alannah as well." He adds as we watch Jax chase Alannah around the park.
"Does this mean he gets your approval?" I ask and he nods.
"But if he makes your cry you have to ring me because I made a pretty big threat back there." He says and I laugh.
"I can't believe you go back to LA tomorrow." I say and he smiles at me.
"I'll be back in less then a month." He says and I shrug.
"I'll still miss you." I say and he smiles.
"Don't get sad on me now Fernandez." He says and I chuckle.
"You have Jax and the time will fly by." He says and I smile.
"Don't get jealous on me now Miller" I joke making him laugh.
"As long as you are happy." He says and I smile.
"Muma I'm hungry." Alannah says climbing into my lap.
"Well shall we get some food?" I ask and she nods.
I stand up and she holds my hand as we head back to the car.
"Think of somewhere to eat boys." I say intruding their conversation.
We get back to the car and I strap Alannah in her car seat.
"Mama I really like this park." She says and I kiss her cheek.
"Good." I say and she smiles.
I get into the drivers seat. I connect my phone to the aux.
"Did you guys think of something you want to eat?" I ask them.
"Olive Garden." James says and I nod.
"Our table is ready for us." Jax says showing me his phone. I look at him confused and he laughs.
"We own the Olive Garden out here." He says and I nod my head. That's cool.
We get to Olive Garden and I help Alannah out of her car seat.
She holds my hand as we walk into the restaurant.
Jax walks in and when they see his face they escort us to a table. The table was secluded. Jax and James sit opposite me and Alannah.
I look at the menu and show Alannah.
"Do you want macaroni and cheese?" I ask and she nods her head excitedly.
"Still your favourite huh?" James asks and Alannah nods.
After ordering our food James and Jax were talking to each other.
Alannah on the other hand was playing with my bracelet. You could tell she was on her way to being tired because she isn't talking as much.
Although she isn't playing with my hair she is playing with my bracelet.
After we have lunch I carry Alannah to the car. Her head was in the crook of my neck and she was playing with my hair. Like any other time when she gets tired and shes not in bed.
"Do you want me to take her?" Jax asks.
I love that he wants to be helpful but Alannah has these things that she does to sleep better. Like putting her hand in my hair and her head in the crook of my neck.
"I've got her." I smile at him thankfully.
I gently place Alannah in her car seat and strap her in. I put her coat on the seat beside her.
"I'm not really asleep I'm just tired." Alannah says in almost a whisper.
"Go to sleep bub." I say and kiss her forehead.
"I want to spend the whole day out because its James last day." She says taking her hands out of my hair.
"I know I know, we'll talk about it when we get home. Just have a nap for now bub." I say and she nods.
I get into the drivers seat and Jax was looking at me.
"What?" I ask rubbing my cold hands together to make them warmer. I raise an eyebrow as he continues to watch me.
"I know your tired and I don't think it's safe for you to drive." He says and I raise my eyebrow again.
"Jax I'm okay." I say putting my seatbelt on.
"Has she always been so stubborn?" Jax asks James whilst looking through the rear mirror.
"Its calmed down a lot since Alannah was born. But she was hella stubborn before that." James says and I roll my eyes.
We get home and I quickly get out and pick Alannah up gently and head inside.
"Hiya sweetheart." Grandma Dee says and kisses my forehead as I walk through the door.
"Hi Grandma." I say and she smiles.
I quickly take my shoes off and take Alannah upstairs.
I place Alannah on my bed and it didn't take much longer till Jax came in and sat at my desk.
I yawn and pulls me down onto his lap.
"What time did you fall to sleep last night?" He asks and I shrug.
He looks at me sternly and I yawn again. I am so tired.
"Um I fell asleep on and off around four but I woke up and didn't go back to bed at five." I admit and he shakes his head in disapproval.
"I thought you would of atleast had four hours behind you. Now I regret not forcing you out of the drivers seat and into the passenger seat so I could drive." He says and I smile.
"Its fine I'm not that tired anyway, I've gone longer without sleeping." I admit, standing up.
"Not with me." He says pulling me back down onto his lap.
"I care about you okay and Alannah. When you haven't slept it's not okay to be behind the wheel. Do you know how dangerous that is?" He asks.
Well... I know it's dangerous but it's not like I was actually going to fall asleep at the wheel.
"I don't mind driving. I offered both ways. When you have not slept, let me drive. Anything could've happened. Im here. Right here. You aren't in this alone anymore. Im here too. I can drive and I will drive." He tells me.
I smile before placing a kiss to his lips.
No one has ever made me feel so valuable like he has. He really really cares.
"Thank you." I say and he nods before kissing my cheek.
I stand and head over to my bed.
I wake Alannah up and she yawns and rolls into me. She puts her arms around my arm and goes back to sleep.
"No Alannah you have to stay awake." I say trying to wake her up and Jax just laughs.
"Wait is Jax still here?" Alannah whispers.
"Yeah." I say and she let's go of my arm and sits up.
She rubs her eyes before making her way over to Jax.
"I know, we can have another movie day in the fort." Alannah says and I nod.
"Go get James then." I say and she runs out of the bedroom and downstairs.
I hadn't moved from the bed and I genuinely didn't have the energy too.
Jax climbs over me and lies on Alannah's side. "I've never lied on your bed before." He says and I laugh softly.
"That's because it's just easier for us to sleep in the guest room." I say.
He leans over and kisses me. I pull back when I hear Alannah running up the stairs.
"I don't think we're all going to fit." I say looking at them climbing into the fort.
"I think we should all sit on the bed because that way we can watch the TV instead of James laptop." I say.
Jax comes beside me.
He puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his arm. James then lies on the other side of me. He leaves a gap between us for Alannah who rests her head on my stomach.
Alannah and James choose the film whilst Jax played with my hair. I don't even know what we ended up watching. But what I do know, Jax playing with my hair made me extremely tired.
****
I wake up to faint sounds of giggling. I sit up quickly and look around.
"Oh your awake." James says. I look to my right to see him sat leaning against the headboard and texting.
"Where's Alannah and Jax?" I ask and he laughs.
"Its late, you missed dinner and well it's gone Alannah's bed time. Jax decided to leave you sleep and well he's giving Alannah a bath. Mom and dad have just taken Grandma Dee home. She wanted to say goodbye to you but I told her not to." He says and I push myself up. Fuck.
"Jesus James why didn't you just wake me up?" I ask and put my head in my hands.
"Jax said not too." He says and I sigh and head into the bathroom.
"Woah mama your awake!" Alannah shouts as I shut the door behind me.
"Hi bub" I say and she smiles. I sit down beside Jax on the bathroom floor.
"Are you alright." He asks and I nod and smile faintly.
Alannah stands up in the bath and blows bubbles in Jax's face and laughs before sitting back down.
"Did you wash her hair?" I ask looking at Alannah's hair. It looked wet and matted.
"No, I tried to but gave up." He says and I laugh.
"Come here so I can wash your hair and then you can go back to playing." I say to Alannah.
Once I wash Alannah's hair she then puts a beard of bubbles on Jax's chin. She gets some in his mouth which was hilarious. The faces he was making when the bubbles went into him mouth made Alannah hysterical.
Once I get Alannah out of the bath I look at the pyjamas that were on the unit by the sink for her.
"Did you choose these?" I ask Alannah and she shakes her head and points to Jax.
"Of course." I say and Jax raises an eyebrow.
"What's wrong with them?" He asks and I laugh.
"Doc mcstuffins pyjama bottoms and a banana pyjama top?" I question and he looks at me confused.
"They don't match." I say laughing. I head out of the room and grab actual paired pyjamas to get Alannah changed into.
Once Alannah was dressed in to her pyjamas I take her back to bed. I sit her on the chair at my desk to plait her hair.
"Scoot." I say to James who was lying on Alannah's side of the bed.
He moves and I put Alannah down.
"Goodnight James." She says and he kisses her cheek.
"Goodnight Alannah." He says and heads out of my room.
I lie Alannah down properly and Jax hands her the stuffed animal he won her. She then cuddles it tightly.
"Mama will James be here when I wake up?" She asks and I nod.
"I don't want James to leave." She says and I nod.
"I know I know but he has to go back to school. He'll be back soon." I say and wipe away some of her tears.
"Mommy, you and Jax won't leave will you?" She asks and I shake my head.
"Never." I say and turn to Jax. He sits beside me on the bed and holds her hand.
"I wouldn't dream of it." He says and she smiles weakly.
"I love you." She says as her eyes flutter shut.
"I love you too." Jax and I say in sync to Alannah. I kiss her forehead and Jax copies my actions.
We step out into the hall and I take a deep breath.
"Is she always like that?" Jax asks and I shake my head.
"When Alannah is tired she becomes very clingy and affectionate. She makes sure that I know that she loved me and all of that. She thanks me for not leaving and becoming her mom. She says stuff like that all the time it's just what happens." I say and he nods.
"Are you hungry, do you want me to serve you up something to eat?" Nicole asks when I walk into the living room with Jax.
"I'm not hungry thank you though." I say sitting down.
"Have you got your things?" David asks Jax.
"Things for what?" Jax asks sitting beside me.
"You're staying the night tonight." David says looking between us both.
"I've changed the comforter in the guest room." Nicole tells us.
Jax looks at me like he's asking and I nod. I want him here.
"Alright then, I'll go home and grab some stuff." He says standing up.
He kisses my cheek and heads out.
****
I was in my room sorting my things out when there was a soft knock on my door.
"Come in." I say softly and Jax opens the door. A smile immediately meets my mouth.
"Are you ready to come to bed?" He asks and I grab my phone and charger.
"You were ages." I say and we walk out and shut the door behind us.
"Yeah sorry, mom wouldn't stop asking me questions." He tells me and takes my hand.
We go into the guest room where his stuff already was.
I put my phone on charge and crawl into bed.
"You're still coming over Tuesday right?" He asks and I nod.
"Okay, your staying over you know that don't you?" He asks and I nod again.
"Okay good." He says and kisses my forehead.