"Won't You Let Me Twist Your Faith"
The bands tour bus is uncomfortably stuffy and there is a bit of a stench, a silent reminder that sweaty men spend their evenings and nights huddled in here after shows. I was surprised to find the place in such a clean state, fully expecting it to resemble the disaster that was Nirvana tour busses, but this is Dave we're talking about. He's always been a rather tidy guy.
"Your bunk is the one under mine if you want to stick your backpack there." Dave awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, looking around the space for anything that may be out of place. His sudden worry tells me that he cleaned up before my arrival, warming my heart a bit.
The fact that he cared enough to make the space presentable for me says a lot about him as a person. "Which one is yours?"
"Oh shit, yeah..." He side steps in front of me, our chests grazing one another due to the limited space in the small kitchen. With a wave of his hand, he motions for me to follow him to the bunk area. The smell of sweat became stronger as we get closer to the rear of the bus, two full laundry bags of clothes stacked in the corner obviously being the source. "I'm sorry about that. We haven't had the chance to do laundry and-"
I can't help but cut him off, surprised by how worried he truly is to have me here. Every so often he'd wipe his sweaty palms against his loose-fitting pants and that alone gave away his anxiety about my arrival. "Hey, what's with the nerves Grohl? I've experienced Kurt and Courtney's apartment in LA, you don't think I can handle a little BO?"
"I just..." His brown eyes look from my blue ones to the carpeted floor, causing me to frown. "You're probably not used to this anymore and I don't want to scare you off, okay? I'm trying to fix things."
Without saying anything, I cross my arms over my chest and lean back against the wooden bunk frame. "Dave, you don't have to try so hard, okay? I live with you for how long? I know you're not some slob, but this is clean even for you."
"It is isn't it?" He sighs, shoulders finally slumping into a more relaxed position. "I needed to clean anyways, but you coming gave me the motivation to actually do it."
My Van clad foot inches forward to nudge his, earning a smile from the shaggy haired brunette boy in front of me. Being here felt right, almost as right as it did in LA once the awkwardness wore off. "Come here you dork."
"That's not rude or anything." He chuckles, stepping forward to wrap me in a tight hug for the second time that day, enjoying the close proximity. It's as if we were trying to make up for the three years of distance in less than a couple hours, and honestly, I don't mind.
Tucking my face into the crook of his neck, I can't help but smile at the familiar scent of his cologne. The same one he wore when we first met back in 1987, surprising me. "I've missed you."
"Fuck, I've missed you too." His grip tightens and his lips press a soft kiss to the side of my head before we pull apart, the sound of the bus door opening signally the end of our moment. "This," he points to the lowest bunk on the right, "Is yours. I'll be in the other room if you want to take a minute to change or something."
With a nod, I pull my backpack off and toss it on the neatly made bedding, confused when the bounce uncovers a note hidden in the corner of the sheets. It was easy to recognize Pat's messy handwriting, but I can't help but feel confused by the scribbles.
'Don't trust everything you see on the outside. We need to talk later.'
----
The backstage area of Much Music is overly crowded, making me feel claustrophobic as I stand next to none other than Jimmy Swanson. His arm is wrapped around my shoulders as we watch the Foo's play their last song, holding me in place so crew members won't knock me over. "He's a cocky little shit now, isn't he? A year ago, he couldn't even talk to the audience."
"The guy has definitely come a long way." Jimmy nods in agreement, reminiscing on his younger years with the lead singer. "He's not that shy kid hiding behind a drum kit anymore."
As he flips his hair, I can't help but chuckle. "He still hides behind his hair a little though. Doubt that'll ever change."
"I think it's an ego thing at this point." Jimmy jokes, smirking down at me. "I mean, look at that smirk. The guy always says he has a stupid voice, but he's eating up that attention."
Placing my hand on my chin, I pretend to be lost in thought. "He's always had quiet though if you ask me."
"That's just because you were the one in the bedroom with him all the time." Jimmy states, causing me to choke on air. "He's never had an issue finding confidence in there."
Bringing my hand to my chest, I try to couch away the uncomfortable sensation in my throat, sighing in relief once it subsides. "Fuck you Swanson."
"Hey, don't think he'd be so happy if I did that Piece." The taller man smirks down at me, a playful look in his eyes as he does so. I quickly flip him off, shaking my head as the band makes their way off stage, smiles all around.
Immediately, the look on Taylor's face makes my heart drop, knowing good and well that he's going to try and hug me while sweaty. "I swear to god Hawkins, if you even think about doing what I think you're planning, I'll-"
"Too slow." Taylor chuckles, holding me in place as he nods to his bandmates to join. The four sweaty bodies against mine made me groan, doing everything in my power to push them away as I struggle in their grasp. "Stop fighting the love Ro. Just accept it."
---
Present
"Okay," Amy breaks through the silence. The group had stuck to glaring at one another rather than speaking for the last hour, making the room feel small as a result. No one wanted to be there and honestly, at times it was hard to breathe. "One, I can't believe you sat here and lied to me about where you were that day! We were supposed to get our nails done!"
Putting my hands up in mock surrender, I roll my eyes, done with the Dave talk today. That phone call still haunts me and the lack of an update from Taylor had me worried. "Sorry, I had to fix my life."
"That's my second point, if you were going up there to fix things with Dave, then why the hell are things still complicated now? I mean, you say that the two of you were all for fixing everything, why is there no David Grohl sitting here with us today. I'd really like my autograph!" Amy whines at the end, an attempt to make me laugh.
Shaking my head at my friend, I can't help but let out a sigh. "You should know by now that Dave and I have too many problems to even attempt to fix overnight. It's like we fix one and another comes out of nowhere."
"Whose fault is that though?" Casey mumbles, shooting a glare my way. The trend so far is definitely more on my part, I know that, but Dave isn't innocent this time around.
"Casey I've fucked up, I've accepted that much, but not all of our problems were because of me. Yeah, Nirvana time was my fault, but the late nineties were an issue because Dave never voiced what he wanted. Do you guys remember all the times I disappeared for a few days at a time? That was to visit him." My hands come up to rub some of the sleep from my eyes as I let out a yawn. "You thought Liam was a bad situation? Remember Louise Post?"
Jack leans back further into the couch he's relaxed into, pursing his lips as he runs a hand through his block locks. "The girl he wrote Everlong about?"
"Yeah," Amy shrugs, "Everyone knows about Louise. He cheated on her with Winona Ryder, right? Or broke up with her to hook up with the actress?"
Frances and I share a laugh, shaking our heads at the news media. The younger girl at my side leans forward, grabbing her glass of wine to take a small sip. "People spread that rumor to make Louise believe that was why he broke up with her, but Dave got bored.
"There was also the fact that Louise kept trying to hook me and Taylor up." I scoff, "That didn't sit well with Mr. Control Freak."
Casey's eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "So, you mean to tell me that this man broke up with his badass bassist girlfriend because of you and Taylor?"
"Yep because he couldn't handle the thought of me being with someone else." I mumble, "You should've heard the guy after our spring break trip to the Keys. I thought he was going to lose his shit when Liam answered the phone in my hotel room."
Jack frowns at the mention of my ex, still being good friends with the guy to this day. "If he was so jealous, why didn't he just ask you out again? It's not like he didn't do it before, would've saved the two of you all this trouble."
"I think part of him feared I'd run again..." The words come out as more of a whisper than an actual statement, shame laced within them. "I probably would have if I'm being honest. That kind of fame is something else... Nirvana was bad enough and being around for the blow up of Everlong was even rough at times."
---
Sooo Like
If there are places where I accidentally wrote in third person rather than first, just go with it lol
I've been only writing in third person for two months now AND I LITERALLY WROTE THE WHOLE NEXT CHAPTER IN THIRD PERSON AND DIDN'T REALIZE IT UNTIL AFTER SO NOW I'M HERE REWRITING THIS MESS.
send help.