『and I am not the protagonist I'm not even my own.』
Day eighteen: crumbled reality
"Finally, found you again Izuku..."
Izuku's mind goes silent. All his questions and confusion vanished. It was like he remembered everything all at once. He knows his memory isn't great but that was ridiculous.
He's Izuku, did he really forget that? He's dead, that's another pretty big thing he forgot. And where is he?
"Deku~" Izuku could swear he had a heart attack. That voice the one that calms him most had just killed him!
Okay that's an exaggeration since he's already dead and all, but gods all mighty, he thought he didn't know what he thought it just spooked him! He thought the villain man had found him. He was already planning his escape. Writing a mental apology to shota. What would Aizawa have done.
Most likely said 'told you so' what a child. No he's getting off track. What was he supposed to be doing? Where even is he? He asked himself that already didn't he.
The white haired boy slowly stirs from his trance blinking groggily. He tries to sit up but he is pined down by a weight. Scratch that two weights.
"Wha- huh?" He manages out. He really should start writing stuff down. His memory is appalling. And can someone please tell him what is keeping him on the ground? It's very tight on his chest and he's not impressed with it.
How did he even get here? Shouldn't he be in bed? Somewhere Aizawa can see him.
Where is Aizawa? The boy can't feel the older mans presence anywhere. 'This is so strange' the boy thinks.
And please what is on top of him?
"Izuku." Two voices call simultaneously. Izuku struggles again to get up. He soon gives up trying instead to place a face to the voices he heard. "Why am I on the floor?" He questions quietly. Mainly to himself but if the other people around can answer that would be helpful too.
To his left someone snorts then immediately tries to cover it up, while to the right he hears soft laughter. "Here, damn nerd." Izuku feels two arms slot under his own and effortless pick him up and sit him against a tree. "Why, howwwww- wwwwho is that?"
Izuku can't tell if his eyes are open or not. Either way he's struggling to name the voices he vaguely remembers. It's very annoying honestly. Did he already mention he should write stuff down? If not that is something he should really consider.
Whatever he said previously must have been wrong since Both voices go silent.
"Kat I think you scared him too hard." Says the monotone voice. That came from his right? Shouldn't it sound more concerned? Is that a boy? It sounds like someone who is Izuku's age. Why can't he remember.
"Yeah but he hasn't even looked at us! Nerd! Hay Izuku look here you big goof." That came from his left. It's another boy. Maybe older since his voice is rougher. He called him nerd... that's familiar too.
And Izuku. That's his name. He knows that much is true. The two boys, the ones who sit close beside him on each side, they knew his name. His first name. Strange.
The last voice tho. 'Nerd'
"Nerd..." the white haired boy giggles closing his eyes. "Mmm' I remember. S'sound like Kacchan." It's slightly slurred almost lazily said. Izuku's head was feeling a little fuzzy.
It's showing how tired he is, He dips his head onto the shoulder of the other boy beside him. He breaths in the sent happily signing in contentment. "Smell like Shochan... warm." The body shifts but make no move to push the smaller off.
How did Aizawa's smell like shochan? I mean the boy won't complain it's nice! But it's also sad, he's know he must be dreaming or imagining this. But still, he can help but relish it. If he tries hard enough it will be like he's back there. Kacchan and Shoto either side of him. The warm sunlight on his face. Birds chirping all around.
"I miss you." Izuku whispers. "You were my lovers. I know it wasn't official but you were. I know you knew. I had the biggest crush on you both. I used to bring you to the woods in the park. We would sit here. We carved our names into the tree. It was so lovely. The flowers, sun, cherries, We would sit and talk for hours. Just us.
It was like no one else in the world cared. Or we didn't care about them." Izuku sighs happily
"When I realised I liked them both I almost cried." He chuckles slightly feeling the two people next to him stiffen. Paying no mind to it he continues,
"It was too perfect I knew they both wouldn't like me back if one of them even liked me in that way to starts with. Then somehow I got this feeling. It was like they both new I liked them. They started flirting and it made me a mess everytime.
I was going to introduce them properly to my mom. Boyfriends. Then I couldn't..." Izuku sniffs as the two older boys share a glance. "I miss them!" He wailed hysterically he was talking to himself and he hated it. He knew this was his head imagining thing. It was cruel. How could he do this to himself.
"I want to go back! Take me back in time please! I want to change. Give me a chance! A last chance! Let me change, I won't die! I won't infer! I'll be good please!" Izuku thrashes around trying to wave the illusion away.
"Hay Izuku calm down it's okay!" A voice hurried to sooth. It was Aizawa's. It was coming through patchy, but that was definitely Aizawa. "I'm right here. Can you open your eyes?" Izuku knew this wasn't real! Why does the cruel mind tricks have to continue.
The boy shakes his head sharply starting to fade from his spot under the tree. "No he's doing it again!" A voice hisses. "Mmmn s'okay kacchan. I'll find Sho and make it better." He mumbles in his delusional state. "But I need to go back to 'zawa. Let me go." He says softly.
"Kat tell him before it's too late! Hay Izuku open your eyes." A voice coos. Both voices held urgency and a sense of hurry. Izuku stoped struggling but keeps his eyes closed. He couldn't do it. He couldn't face what his mind had come up with.
"Hay common don't you want to see shochan?" The fake boy coos.
"No you're not Sho-chan." Izuku speaks into the woods. "Fake." His voice is becoming more calm. And starts sounding how it did a few minutes ago. "Open your eyes." Izuku struggled but his eyes open without him meaning too. His control was slipping away.
"I-I'm in the woods." Izuku frowns opening his eyes."This Isn't real-"
"Izuku." Two voices interrupt.
"T-that's not funny!" Izuku shouts still unable to turn around and face what he knows is waiting. "Go away please." He begs out. "Stop this. I can't take it." Izuku's feet fade and solidify causing the boy to shake up and down. He knows why this is happening. The more jumbled his brain and emotions gets the more he looses his human qualities. "I already visited Kacchan. It was a mistake!" Izuku admits. "I'm not a midoriya anymore, I'm dead! Izuku Midoriya died! I'm just izuku now! A shadow of the boy you taunt me with."
His brain is so overwhelmed and confused he's finding it increasingly hard to stay grounded and not disappear into despair.
"You are not re-" Izuku hesitates unsure if he wants to finish the sentence. Would the figures behind him get angry? Would they hurt him? Can they even hurt him?
The two others are still sitting down behind Izuku."Turn around for us Izuku, please?" The red and white haired male asks.
"Come here deku. We missed you. Even if this isn't real, even if you are dreaming come and enjoy this moment With us, your lovers."
This is wrong. He doesn't have lovers anymore. He hasn't got boyfriends. He only called them that in private. He wasn't alive long enough to make is official. They should know that. He needs to get out and wake up. He wants- no needs Aizawa. Only he can help.
"come on love. Don't you want to see us again?" Izuku shakes his head.
"Want 'Zawa..." Izuku croaks out. "Only 'Zawa."
"Izuku! IZUKU!" The healing lady gets no response. Aizawa had called her when Izuku was still un-responsive after 10 minutes. The hero had rushed here from the school she worked at and immediately set up a temporary area to work in.
"He's loosing us." She states bitterly. Aizawa stands to the side watching in horror as the boy becomes more and more see through. "What's happening? have you got his vitals?" The man desperately asked.
"Izuku? Izuku open your eyes for me." Aizawa calls out gently.
The old lady shakes her head continuing to tap away at a screen.
"He's doing it again." Aizawa says Lower this time.
"Come on, come on." She mutters lowly. "Ah!" She exclaims as the readings pop to life on the screen. She speed reads through them moving her eyes carefully taking in and processing all the information displayed.
Aizawa watches the gibberish on the screen as it changes and flickers. He can't understand it at all so he changed his glance from the screen and then back to the lady. His worries only show more as he watches the doctors face fall further with each line she reads.
"Izuku?" Aizawa asks carefully to the boy. He gets a gibberish response with only some words being clear. "S'okay Kacchan? Not real" Izuku's dreaming, or having a nightmare. The two aren't sure. But continue to watch the boy live out his state. "'Zawa." Izuku whines. The sound makes both adult's hearts break. "He sounds so far gone." Aizawa pointed out. "He is." Recovery girl answered.
Each ping or alarm that goes off showing some other problems caused the two to stress and worry a little bit more. Something too high or something too low. A number that shows up in bold. The increasing amount of bad signs that keep popping up persistently.
It's all taking a toll. Distracting or just plainly making the man wince. Even the old lady had to hold back her cringes at some of the readings.
"This isn't good. The vitals are dropping too low compared to normal." She hurries out. The heroes know full well what's happening.
She isn't prepared. Or wasn't prepared for it. She needed more time. She thought she had more time.
"What does that mean?" Aizawa question staying back out of the way as the lady takes the stickers off the boys chest. He could guess at many thing but he would only believe in one outcome. The worst outcome he can think of.
The only one he'll pray to not come true and play out.
The outcome that's looking more and more probable with each passing second. "It means-" she's cut short as her hand and the remaining stickers fall through the boy. "Not yet." Aizawa whispers.
The two adults glance at each other before the shorter answer. "It means they're waking him up. Whether he wants to or not."
Aizawa can't believe it. He needed more time. "Izuku," he tries one last time. "Please kid." Izuku twitches. "I- wannn need 'zawa." Izuku says broken. "I love hmm."
Aizawa reaches for the boy. Izuku disappears.