"I saw that," Nyssa said in an accusatory tone. "Your queen was on that black square. She can't take a diagonal movement and end up on white. That's just not possible."
Loki kept his face straight. "I'm quite sure I have no idea what you're talking about. Perhaps you're imagining things."
Nyssa opened her mouth to argue but at that moment, the doors to the dungeon hall opened and the guards escorted a new handful of prisoners in.
"Loki," a voice said, startling both of them. Nyssa vanished and Loki stood up.
Frigga was projecting herself into his cell for a visit.
This chessboard faded as Loki put himself back into his character. He gave Frigga a curt nod before turning away towards the window, watching the parade of new prisoners.
"Odin continues to bring me new friends," he monotoned bitterly. "How...thoughtful."
"The books I sent...do they not interest you?" she asked.
"Is that how I am to while away eternity? Reading?" he asked, in the same tone.
"I've done everything in my power to keep you comfortable," she said, her tone slightly stern.
"Have you?" he asked, now in a mocking manner. "Does Odin share your concern? Does Thor?"
Unseen, Nyssa placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him. If he noticed her, he didn't show it.
"It must be so inconvenient, them asking after me day and night," he continued, his flat voice now dripping with sarcasm.
"You know full well it was your actions that brought you here," she reminded him.
"My actions," he scoffed. "I was merely giving truth to the lie I've been fed my entire life: That I was born to be a king."
Nyssa followed him, grabbing his hand to calm him down.
"A king?" Frigga asked incredulously. "A true king admits his faults! What of the lives you took on earth."
Loki forced himself to be angry. He knew she was right and he felt the pain of guilt every day. However, he was committed to his role.
"A mere handful compared to the number Odin has taken himself," he retorted.
"Your father-"
"He's not my father!" he shouted. He didn't have to pretend. He was certain of this one thing.
"Loki," Nyssa whispered. "Breathe."
A mix of sorrow and defeat crossed Frigga's face.
"Then am I not your mother?" she implored.
"Loki, please," Nyssa whispered, trying to stop him from saying something he would regret.
Loki was unable to fully mask the pain on his face. Of course she was his mother. But...he was playing a part and had to be consistent.
"You're not," he finally said, using an illusion to mask the tear that rolled down his face.
Frigga let out a small sarcastic laugh. "Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself."
She took a few steps toward him, her expression telling him she saw right through him.
Loki swiped his hand through hers, dispelling the image. The pained yet loving look on his mother's face broke him.
He sat down hard on the bed and buried his face in his hands, choking back tears.
Nyssa cast an illusion on the walls and reappeared.
She sat down next to him and wrapped him up in a hug.
"What are you doing," he asked her.
"Being a good friend, dummy. I'm here to listen and I want to help."
"That's nice of you," he said in a clipped tone. "But I'm afraid I am beyond help."
"No, you aren't. No one ever is. Don't you dare think that."
Loki's voice started getting tangled in suppressed sobs. "Nyssa, you may not remember, but your world is not paradise. People do horrible things. And I..I've done worse things than many of your history's worst villains."
"Hitler wouldn't have healed me. That's the true mark of a person. What they do when there's nothing in it for them."
"I've hurt people. I'm responsible for many deaths in your world. And...I just said...that she wasn't my mother to her face. I'm a monster." All his restraint cracked. He dissolved in grief, completely sobbing.
"Oh, Loki," she murmured. "What did you say that for? Even I could tell she saw right through it."
He took a few shaky breaths to calm down. "I...I know," he whispered. "I'm failing."
"Failing? At what?" Loki was silent. "Oh come on, you idiot. You can't carry this alone. Please, let me help you. I hate to see you hurting like this."
"I don't know why you're so intent on helping me. You don't want to know what's beneath my surface. It will horrify you."
She snorted. "I sincerely doubt it. I'm not going to suddenly forget all you've done for me in these last few months because of something stupid you've done that you obviously regret."
He took a deep breath. "Alright, I'll tell you. But only because you're insisting. Don't say I didn't warn you. When I was brought back from my...for lack of a better term, trance, and was captured, I thought I would be executed. I knew the only one who would ever believe me would be my mother." Somehow, his story gave him a newfound calm and his tears stopped. His breath became regulated. "If I had a chance of survival, it was her. But when Odin sets his mind, Frigga only has so much power. I didn't believe she would be able to save me. So I set out to make her hate me. I played cocky, arrogant, and unapologetic in my trial. I was trying to get myself killed and hated. Then I found out that she had already swayed Odin. She had already talked him down from killing me. I was condemned to life in prison and Odin said I would never see her again."
"But she just..."
"Odin obviously didn't know. I regretted my choice since her last memory of me would be my falsely obnoxious persona at the trial."
"Then why on earth were you like that just now?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"No."
He sighed deeply. Nyssa's tone, though caring, made it exceptionally clear how foolish she thought him to be. "I'm never getting out of here. She will never get her son back. I will never get my mother back. Maybe she would make another secret visit, but it wouldn't be good for either of us. It will only be childish hope for some miracle. The sooner with both let go of each other, the better. I'm trying to make her let go of me sooner."
The silence held for what felt like an eternity but was in fact less than a minute.
"Loki," Nyssa finally said. "I mean...don't get me wrong, but you're an idiot." She lightly smacked the back of his head. "You think you can get a mother to just give up on her child? Do you know a damn thing about maternal love? She's not just going to suddenly decide to turn off her love for you. She's raised you as her own since...I dunno, a few centuries ago? She knows you better than anyone in the world. You can never fool your mother. So why are you trying so hard to make her hate you? It's never going to work, you know."
"Everyone has a limit," Loki said bitterly. "There's only so much she can take before she gives up. And I intend to reach that point."
Nyssa looked at him incredulously before slapping him again.
He let out a slightly sarcastic chuckle. "For someone trying to be a 'good friend' and who wants me to open up, you aren't exactly being a very comforting presence."
Nyssa gave him a little hug. "Well, I was until you decided to be an idiot. Have you ever heard of 'tough love'? We all need a little slap back to reality sometimes. And since you're starting down the 'oh boo-hoo, I'm a poor miserable creature and no one will EVER love me' train of thought, I'm gonna slap you. Wallowing in self-pity never did anyone any good."
"Your flawless logic, while convincing me on an intellectual level, fails to truly assuage my emotions."
"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you through the pedantry."
"Pedantry?"
"Yeah. It means a pretentious display of knowledge."
"I know what it means. I'm just surprised you can use such a big word."
"I'm lazy, not stupid."
"Could have fooled me," Loki muttered.
Nyssa looked like she was about to say something, but she shut her mouth and took a deep breath. "I refuse to rise to your bait. Anyway, what I think you said was that I'm right and you just don't like it. Now back to the real issue at hand here. You have decided you don't deserve love. But that's not true. Everyone has the choice to be the hero they have the potential to be. And for what it's worth...in the little time I've been here, I have found you to be a very lovable person. Other than your occasional playfully mean comments, you're really such a cinnamon roll...nevermind, you wouldn't get that. You have a heart of gold. You're trying to tell yourself that you don't care so you can push yourself away, but you do. You care so much you would rather suffer for the rest of your very long life alone than allow your mother to suffer on your account. She knows you were influenced, I'm sure. Next time she comes-- and I'm sure she will soon--tell her. Apologize to her. Ask her for help. Anything. It would mean the world to her. She wants nothing more than to be your mother. To be there for you; the one you go to with your problems; the one hugs you when you're upset and has the right words of wisdom. And she's not about to give up on you. Because no one and I mean NO ONE is ever truly beyond hope. Anyone who wants to change, can."
"What good would it do? I'm still stuck here."
Nyssa smirked. "I believe in miracles. Wanna know something special?"
Loki looked at her questioningly.
"When she appeared, her back was to me. I vanished before she would see me. But...when you weren't looking, she turned to me, locked eyes with me and smiled. She knows about me. And I'm willing to bet she had something to do with me getting here."
Loki gave her an incredulous look. "Nyssa...what evidence supports that claim?"
She shrugged. "Mostly just a gut feeling. But if I'm right, then that explains the healing potion. The cut on your hand was minuscule. She was looking for a reason to send it. And she probably gifted me her abilities for a purpose. Also, the food you've received has always been way more than enough for just one person. A lot of little things that could easily be mere coincidences. But I get the feeling I'm here because your mother has hope for you. Let's not let her down."
Loki buried his head in his hands, racked with newfound sobs. "What have I done?"
Nyssa angled herself to pull him into a proper hug. "Nothing unfixable. K? Why don't you try and get some sleep? We'll fix this in the morning. When you aren't flooding in emotions."
"We?"
"Of course. What, you think I'm going to leave you to fend for yourself? We've already seen how well that goes. I'm going to help you. That's literally what I'm here for."
"Th-thank you," he breathed shakily. "Thank you, Nys..."
She smiled. "Come on," she began to pull away. "Let's get some sleep."
Loki held on to her as if for dear life. "In a minute," he mumbled.
Nyssa looked at him, a mixture of affection and amusement written on her face. "Goodness gracious, Trixie! How long has it been since you've had a hug?"
"Trixie?"
"Yeah. Cuz you're...tricksy. Get it?"
He groaned softly. "You're the worst."
"Now seriously. How touch starved are you?"
"No idea. Too much."
She let out a sigh that could have contained any number of emotions. "Alright, come here, Loki."
They sat down against the headboard of the bed where Nyssa draped her arm over Loki's shoulder and pulled the blanket over him.
"Nyssa?" he asked after a few minutes.
"Shhh, you need to be sleeping."
"I wish it were that easy."
"Ok, princess. I'll make it easier. Want me to sing a lullaby?" she asked with a slightly mocking tone.
"And can tell you're being sarcastic, but that would actually be lovely."
She smiled. "Alright. I know a song that's perfect for you."
Nyssa repositioned herself slightly.
"You're alone?
You're on your own?
So what, have you gone blind?
Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?
Glass half empty, glass half full
Well, either way, you won't be going thirsty
Count your blessings, not your flaws.
You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
You can be King again.
You don't get what all this is about
You're too wrapped up in your self-doubt
You've got that young blood, set it free.
You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
You can be King.
There's a method in my madness
There's no logic in your sadness
You don't gain a single thing from misery
Take it from me.
You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head
Put all your faults to bed
You can be King again."
"Do you...mean that?" Loki asked, barely above a whisper.
Nyssa gently moved a stray strand of hair out of his face. "Absolutely. Now go to sleep."
She continued lightly humming the tune until she fell asleep.
And only Frigga knew that she planted a kiss on his forehead.
I do not own "King" by Lauren Aquilina