•Calum
I felt a rush of adrenaline flow through my veins as I made my way over to the boys to have our post-show bow. The audience was screaming so loud that I couldn't even hear myself think, and the sound echoed due to the acoustics in the arena. Flashing lights from their phones probably illuminated the sweat that I was currently dripping in.
I pressed my palms to my lips before waving to everyone. It was such an emotional moment for me. I will never get over how my quickly my life has changed, and how lucky I am to be able to live my dream every single night.
"We're 5 Seconds of Summer, you're an amazing crowd, thank you so much!" Ashton called one last time into the microphone before we dashed off of the stage, careful not to slip on anything people have thrown up there.
"That was such a great show!" I cheered once we were backstage, jumping up and down happily. I played great, opposed to what I thought would happen. God, I wish Cassidy was here to see that.
Cassidy. Shit, even thinking of her made my mood change completely. I could physically feel the ecstatic smile that I was sporting a few seconds ago wash off of my face in seconds, and my shoulders slugged downwards with a huff.
"Alright, so let's all hit the showers and get ready to go out and celebrate!" Michael yelled, clapping his hands together with aggressive excitement.
I was suddenly not in the mood to party anymore. I had this churning feeling eating away at my stomach, and all I wanted to do was listen to sad music.
My body sunk down onto the leather couch in the dressing room, making my band's eyes go wide. I used to always be the one to pester everyone else about going out, but now it was me that they would have to convince.
"Cal, aren't you going to take a shower?" Luke asked in a kindhearted tone, with his blonde eyebrows creased together in concern.
I shrugged, taking out my phone and hoping to see a message from Cassidy, but only being faced with an empty notification bar. "I don't really feel like it. The jet-lag is really getting to me. I just want to sleep."
"But it's our first show on the tour. We have to celebrate," Michael insisted, although he was speaking to me in a laid-back manner and wasn't necessarily pressuring me to leave.
I pursed my lips together. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll go out next time. You guys can go ahead though."
The three of them all shared a look before nodding their heads cautiously. They travelled towards the showers to freshen up, leaving me all alone in the dressing room with just my phone and my thoughts.
I was completely contradicting myself. I wanted to break up with her so I would be able to party and hang out with my best friends without any worries, but here I am, worrying. I can't even go a second without wondering what she is up to or how she feels or if she hates me or if she misses me as much as I miss her.
This not talking thing was supposed to benefit me, but it ended up just killing me inside. However, the pain is even worse when we do talk and I hear her voice start to crack as she gets all choked up. Plus, fighting with her just makes me want to rip all of my hair out. So maybe the not talking thing was a good thing, in some aspects, but I just didn't have enough self control to stay away from her.
My fingers pressed a few buttons on my phone, and sure enough I was calling Cassidy again, for the second time in one day, even though I have done a good job of completely ignoring her the last few. My streak was over. I was officially whipped. And quite frankly, I was actually okay with that.
"Calum?" Cassidy clarified, her voice sounding adorable when she was all flustered and confused.
"Hi," I greeted, feeling my lips tug upwards into a bright smile.
"Hi," She repeated awkwardly. A silence fell between us. "Why did you call me?"
I felt my jaw clench together as her comment was almost a slap to the face. This was all so confusing. I knew she wanted to be mad at me and hate me for what I did, but I could also tell she was still just in love with me as I was in love with her. "I told you I would call you after the show."
"Oh, right. Okay. So how was the show?" Cassidy questioned, although I was unaware if she really cared about my answer of if she just wanted to change the subject before the awkwardness became even worse.
I sighed. "It was amazing. The crowd was so loud and they sang like every line back to us and it was just unbelievable. But I couldn't bring myself to go out tonight. I just- I don't know. I miss you too much. I want you here with me so badly."
Cassidy groaned loudly. "Calum, you can't keep doing this. You're the one who broke up with me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do when you say things like this."
"I'm just trying to confide in you! You're my best friend, Cass. I just need someone to talk to," I whined, picking up a pillow and placing it onto my chest, admiring its soft quality.
"You told me you didn't want to talk," She pointed out, grumbling something under her breath. "Calum, this is so frustrating. I have never been more confused in my life."
"Me either," I mumbled, switching the phone to my other ear. "Look, as of right now, it's kind of obvious I made the wrong decision. But it's only been a few days, I'm not sure what else the tour is going to throw at me. Maybe I will be able to have fun without you, maybe I won't. Maybe I really won't have time for a girlfriend. I don't know yet. So I'm just going to stick it out for a little bit and see, and then we'll go from there."
She was silent for awhile, despite the fact that I could faintly hear her breathing. "Okay. But I'm not going to wait forever. I honestly shouldn't even be waiting for you at all."
"I know, baby," I muttered, using that term of endearment simply because it was a habit. I've called her that even before we were together. It was going to take me a while to fully exile it from my vocabularly. "Can I still try to talk to you until then? I feel like I go insane when I don't hear your voice."
She giggled a little bit at my desperate endeavor. "Sure, Cal. But we're just going to chat as friends. It hurts me too much to pretend everything is the same as before."
"Right," I agreed, obliging to her commandments. "So we're just friends. Friends who are in love with each other."
Cassidy laughed again, which made my grin reappear as the lovely sound filled my eardrums. "This is so complicated."
"Don't go all Avril Lavigne on me, Gold," I teased, mocking her from a conversation we had a long time ago, one that I wasn't sure if she'd even recall. "Alright, well do you have somewhere to be or do we still have some more time to talk?"
"Uh, I don't have anything planned today. I have to be on the set tomorrow to meet with the cast again, but today is my last day of being free before the movie starts," She explained to me, sounding a little stressed out.
"Well the guys are going out so I'm going to have a few hours free also. I mean, unless I fall asleep. But would you be interested in telling me everything that has been going on in your life for the next few hours?" I suggested, mainly because now that I had us speaking on good terms, I never wanted this conversation to end.
"Only if you tell me the same," Cassidy bargained, making my smile spread from ear to ear. Maybe this would be a step in the right direction for us. Maybe if I discover that I can't get back together with her, at least we might still be able to salvage our friendship.
•*•*•
"And are all of you single?" The interviewer asked, shoving the microphone that resembled a penis towards our faces, waiting for a reply.
Some interviews were fun, but this one just seemed to drag on for ages. I wanted to get back to the comfort of the bus, and snuggle up with a blanket, instead of being squished between Michael and Ashton, as my legs started to cramp up.
"Yeah," Ashton answered for us, like he always had a habit of doing.
The interviewer, clad in a business-woman outfit with her hair slicked back, narrowed her brooding eyes at me. "Calum, I thought you were dating the superstar, Cassidy Gold?"
Michael snorted. "Superstar," He repeated with a huff, chuckling to himself. "That makes Calum sound so much cooler than he actually is."
The four of us laughed simultaneously at the truth of the statement. I never pictured Cassidy as an A-List celebrity. I always just viewed her as my lame next door neighbor that had only recently grown out of her awkward phase.
The woman's mouth flickered into a small smile, but she still didn't drop the subject and was awaiting an answer. "We-uh, yeah, um, it's complicated," I stuttered, laughing in an a nervous manner.
She raised her eyebrows. "Well that kiss at the VMA's was definitely something. I think you two would make a very cute couple."
"Thanks," I replied sincerely, glancing down at my large hands as my cheeks grew hot, altering to a shade of cherry red. "She's great. It's just, um, you know. I'm on tour, she's filming a sequel. Neither of us really have time for a relationship."
The man who was also involved in the interview, sitting in a red chair directly across from me, picked up the microphone to speak his own words. He has been quite reserved the whole time, usually just taking notes on our answers instead of interrogating us.
"You don't just let go of a girl like Cassidy Gold, though," He stated, his eyes staring into my own, with a small smile on his about-thirty-years-old face. "I interviewed her once and she had to be the sweetest girl in the business to me. Very humble, but still has this bit of attitude that is almost charming. And she's a beautiful young lady with a lot of ambition. You don't come across that very often anymore."
I gulped. My heart was pounding against my chest. Every single thing he was saying was true. If he was able to depict her so well from only speaking to her in one interview, than the rest of the world must be able to view this also. They must think I'm a total idiot for leaving a girl like Cassidy. And it was very clear now that I thought of myself as a total idiot for breaking up with her.
The rest of the boys sat there in silence, glancing at each other in an uncomfortable manner. "I completely agree," I mumbled, biting down on my lip as I tried to switch my attention from Cassidy back to the band. "But how about that new album of ours, yeah?"
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author's note: ok i dont really like this chapter at all tbh im sO sorry i hope i didn't blind y'all fam
but basically calum realized how much of an idiot hes being and hes going to wait a couple weeks and see if he would be able to manage having a relationship & if so they will get back together & if not then they wont but until then theyre still gonna be friends and talk
also some things i need to clear up 1) bree isnt really being mean shes just pissed at calum for breaking cassidys heart and having to see her best friend cry over him everyday and she just has a v strong character and wants to make cass strong too
2) obvs they have a v complicated relationship so yes cal might be being a butt and cass might be letting it slide but thats just bc shes still in love w him and knows that cal isnt always such an idiot and has faith in him still ok shes not just going to completely shut him out bc she'd miss him too much
alright fam thank you guys so much for reading this and all of your lovely comments im actually kind of excited for whats coming up i hope you guys are excited too i love you all soooOoo much i cant thank ya enough honestly
reminder to follow me on my twitter @calumfridge cause im a lot more active on there and can see messages easier!!
dedicated to siobhan_is_a_penguin for her comment about how she appreciates that i take time to consider their relationship and make this as real as possible bc it makes it so much better and that is just such a compliment for me since i put a lot of effort into that so thank you sm babe i love u mucho