Entry 812
Monday 17th December 2018
I saw Mia today and she isn't doing too good. I also embarrassed myself...
I met with Naomi outside Sainsbury's and we both waited for Blade. "You OK?" I asked Naomi. "Yeah, not bad," said Naomi, "How you feeling about going to see Mia?" "Apprehensive," I said, "I'm really worried about her." "Me too," said Naomi, "Quarantine isn't the nicest of places. You were never there were you? It's certainly not the worst place in the world but I was certainly glad when we all got out of there." "What's it like?" I asked. "Cold. Clinical. Blank," said Naomi, "Not nice. I hope she isn't kept in there for too long." "Do you ever wish that we were all still together?" I asked. "What do you mean?" asked Naomi. "Well, you know," I said, "All of us together under the same roof. Looking out for each other. Supporting each other." "Sh*tting in a bucket, fighting off enemies, killing infected and foraging for food?" said Naomi, "No thanks. I'll stick to my nice little house in Sandown. You don't really miss all that do you?" "Well I don't miss a the sh*t you just said," I said, "But I do miss us all being together." "Luke, all you did was moan and complain about how annoying you found everyone when we were all together," said Naomi, "You and TJ were always at each other's throats." "Yeah, well I kind of miss us all being together," I said, "I even miss TJ sometimes. He was a huge support when Catherine falsely accused me of rape." "Yeah but he's still a nob," said Naomi. "Oh totally," I said. "Well I like the life we have now," said Naomi, "I wouldn't want to go back to what we had before, even if it meant we are all together under one roof." "The scary thing is that I think I could fit quiet easily back into that life," I said, "I wouldn't want to, but if I had to, I think I could survive. I was shocked at hope easy I found it picking up that kitchen knife and killing Catherine and Jase with it." "Well that makes sense," I said Naomi, "We've been over there on the mainland killing people and disposing of infected on a daily basis. It's is us now. That killing ability. It'll never leave us." "Anyway," I said, changing the subject, "How are you and Seth?" "We're fine," said Naomi. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yes," said Naomi, "Why are you asking?" "Just wondering," I said. "No," said Naomi, "There's clearly something on your mind." I wasn't sure if I should say what I did say, but I just came out with it. "OK, well he didn't look very happy when you said you'd come with me to see Mia," I said. "What are you talking about?" asked a confused and annoyed Naomi. "He looked unhappy at the thought of me and you going to see Naomi together," I said. "You're imagining things," said Naomi. "Sorry, but I don't think I am," I said, "I know what I saw." "Luke, just let it go," Naomi firmly said. "What's going on?" I asked, "Is something to do when we..." "I said let it go," Naomi said, interrupting me in a stern tone of voice. At that moment Blade turned up, the conversation came to an abrupt end and he escorted us to quarantine to see Mia.
Quarantine is a structure that is attached to GRID HQ; a large white structure with multiple floors and rather a lot of security checks. Electronically locked doors, with scanners, swipe card facilities and control panels. Naomi and I followed Blade into the building and we were presented with a reception area very similar to GRID HQ but this one seemed a lot plainer and appeared much more clinical. Everyone who was walking around was wearing masks and white hazmat suits. It was a rather intimidating sight. Blade told Naomi and I to wait. He then walked off and went someone where leaving Naomi and I on our own. The atmosphere between us was now a bit tense. "I'm sorry if I upset you," I said. "You just never know when to keep quiet do you," said Naomi. "Look, I'm just saying what I see," I said. "Well sometimes it's best not to say what you see," said Naomi in a firm tone, "Let's just focus on seeing Mia."
After a while Blade returned and said that Naomi and I had to shower before seeing Mia. Naomi was led into one shower and I was led into another one. We both showered, donned the white hazmat suits and masks that Blade had left for us and then we reconvened in a corridor where Blade was waiting for us. I looked at Naomi in her face mask and white hazmat suit. "Is that you?" I asked. "Of course, it's me," said Naomi. "I can't tell," I said, "The only bit of your skin I can see is the area around your eyes." Blade, also in a mask and white hazmat suit escorted us – under armed guard, down a long clinical looking corridor which eventually led to a room that was similar to the room that I'd seen Harold in at the prison; a square room with a large class panel splitting the room in half. The only difference was that this room looked a lot more clinical; bright white walls and a pristine white floor. Very sterile. In our half of the room were two white plastic chairs and on the other half of the room was one white plastic chair. Blade and the armed GRID guards stood at the back of our side of the room as Naomi and I sat down on the two white plastic chairs. We waited for a moment and a few minutes later Mia entered the other half of the room followed by two, armed GRID guards in masks and hazmat suits. Mia looked awful. Wearing a white hazmat suit but no mask she looked incredibly pale, had bags under her eyes and scraggly hair. In fact, she looked a bit like an infected but she wasn't. She just looked tired, exhausted and depressed. I pulled my face mask down and gave Mia a sympathetic and concerning look. "Oh Mia," I sorrowfully said, "Are you OK?" Mia didn't move. She didn't look up. She didn't answer. Nothing. I looked at Naomi who then attempted to try and talk to Mia. "We've been worried about you," she said, "Have you been keeping?" Again – nothing. I turned around and frowned at Blade. "What the Hell have you lot done to her?" I snapped. "We've tested her," said Blade, "All being well she'll be back with you tomorrow." "She looks like she's just been dug up," Naomi firmly said. "She's fine," said Blade, "She's just tired and depressed." "Oh, is that all?" Naomi, sarcastically said. "Mia, please talk to us," I gently said, "Blade's just said that all being well you'll be back home tomorrow. Me, Mum and Ash can look after you. Everything's going to alright." Mia lifted her head. She looked awful. "It's not," she quietly said, "It's not going to be alright. Look at me. Just look at me. I'm stuck inside this place." "Yes, but you'll be out of here soon," said Naomi. "The what?" said Mia, "I've got this thing, this weird virus inside me. I either get pregnant and give birth to a baby that may or may not end up infected, or I don't get pregnant and risk the virus getting fully into my blood and turning into an infected myself. I've got to get pregnant, haven't I? This is Harold's fault. I thought I'd got one over him. I thought I was going to stand in front of him all smug, but even when I think I've got one over on him he uses that to get one over on me. I never win, do I?" "Mia," I said, "We'll figure something out." "You never have to see Harold again," said Naomi, "He's going to rot in prison and you've got your freedom and your friends." "And a baby that I don't want," said Mia, "I've got to get pregnant to save my life. I don't want a baby. I can't look after a baby." "Mia, you'll be fine," said Naomi, "You'll be a great Mum. You figure it out. All Mum's do. It's not that difficult." "Oh yeah"? snapped Mia, "Then why did you give your baby away?" Naomi was taken aback at hearing this. Do was I to be honest. Naomi looked a little embarrassed. She said she needed to go to the loo and that she'd be back. Naomi then left the room with one of the armed guards. "That was a bit harsh," I said to Mia. "She thinks she's better than me, doesn't she?" said a firm Mia. "What are you on about?" I exclaimed, "She's your friend. She loves you. You know that. That's why you told her about making up the pregnancy. Mia, I promise you everything is going to be OK." "Don't make promises you can't keep," said Mia, "They've taken loads of my blood and done lots of tests on me. I know the situation I'm in. I need to get pregnant and risk giving birth to an infected baby who might try and kill me, or wait for this virus to infect me and turn me into an infected." There was short pause. I didn't know what to say. "You know this whole thing has told me that life is too short," said Mia, "We could all die at any moment. Even when we think we're safe we're not – not really. Anything could happen to us at any point. We need to make the most of life. Grab each and every opportunity with both hands. It's about time you did that." "What do you mean?" I asked. "Oh Luke, come on," said Mia, "I know I'm not the sharpest spoon in the shed but everyone knows how you feel about Naomi." "Oi shut up," I sheepishly said. "No," said a firm Mia, "You need to man up and take action. Yes, we know Naomi's with Seth but if you don't tell her how you feel about her, and something happens – to you or to her, you'll regret it. Just tell her Luke. Don't think about it. Just leave this room, find her, tell her how you feel and just do it. Do it now." A tense silence followed. I could feel my heart pounding fast as Mia gave me a determined yet slightly vacant look. Something came over me. A surge of energy – I don't know, I just know I had this sudden feeling of determination. I quickly stood up and hurried out of the room. Feeling incredibly positive, I confidently marched down the corridor towards the ladies as Blade chased after me. With a big smile on my face and feeling inspired by what Mia had said I looked ahead and saw Naomi coming out of the ladies where the other armed GRID soldier was. In an excited manner I approached Naomi and grabbed hold of her arms and looked her in the eyes. "Right," I confidently said, "I've got something to say, so just shut up and listen to me and don't interrupt because if I don't say this, I'm not sure I'll ever say it. I love you. I absolutely love you. I do. I am madly in love with you. I think I fell in love with you from the first moment I saw you. I know we've had our ups and downs but I love you. I really do. I just bl**dy love you, and if I don't do this, I'm going to regret it forever." I then closed my eyes (which I shouldn't have done), pulled down Naomi's mask, took her in my arms and gave her a big passionate romantic kiss. At that point Naomi exited the ladies and saw me kissing this person dressed in a white hazmat suit and face mask, who I thought was her. "Luke, what the Hell are you doing!?" Naomi exclaimed. I gasped and the person who I'd kissed turned out to be Helen Harvey! "Well you could at least buy me a glass of Rum first," said Helen. "Oh my God!" I loudly exclaimed. "Luke, what the Hell are you doing?" asked a firm Blade. "Oh, don't be mean to him Jon," said Helen, "He's actually not a bad kisser." "This behaviour is unacceptable," said a firm Blade. "Yeah, I know," I said, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." "Well Luke you can come over me anytime you want," said Helen with a cheeky smile. "Oh God..." I said. "Look," said Blade, "Whatever's going on with you two needs to happen outside of quarantine." I tried to explain that nothing was going on but a) I was stumbling over my words and b) I was worried that Naomi would find out I thought Helen was her and I couldn't say anything now. The moment had passed. Helene left but she blew me a kiss as she walked down the corridor. I told Naomi that I could explain (I couldn't) but she bluntly told me that she didn't want to know and that she wasn't interested. Great! Why do I always seem to make things worse?
Once I'd left quarantine later in the morning, I went back to my reporting station to see how the reporting had gone. I was surprised to see Sci-Fi Cyn then taking blood, urine and saliva tests from people. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "Testing people," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "I am part of GRID remember?" "Yeah but you're not medical," I said. "I know a thing or two," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Anyway, we all need to pull together. I can take pots of people's pee, blood and spit. It's not hard." Sci-Fi Cyn took my blood, urine and saliva, stuck a sticker on each pot that identified the fluids of mine and then stored them with the other pots. It was a quick and relatively painless process. Anyway, it's done now.
Mia will be back tomorrow. I think I might arrange to get everyone round to give her a bit of a welcome. It will be good to have her back home. We need to think about what we're going to do about her need to get pregnant. I hope I don't see Helen for a while. I think I've given her the impression that I'm in love with her...