-Jack-
The wind was cold. My little cave couldn't protect me from it. I tried to hide in the corner, trying to stay warm, but my fur couldn't keep it at bay. There was a lot of snow piling inside as well...
I thought about Arch, but the images of him only made me feel colder. I didn't have any happy memories of him... Not a single one... In the ones I had, he looked at me with disgust in his eyes – if he didn't ignore me completely.
How could he ever accept me as his mate? He wouldn't. Oliver was wrong. There was no hope. What difference would it make if I went to talk to Arch? I would only hurt myself more by going to him. Hadn't I suffered enough already? He was not going to accept me, so it would most likely kill me if I had to face him once again. Seeing Arch rejecting me again would only destroy what was left of me.
And there was so little left of me... Oliver kept saying that my spirit was weak, and I could feel it. I could feel every single crack and hole in my soul. I gave my life protecting Arch, and that stupid portal.
So... why was I still alive? So that I could be tortured even more? Life had been nothing but torture for me ever since my mother died. Henry never stopped reminding me how weak I was, and how easy it was to possess me.
I should've died already...
Yet... I was still there. Why was I still there? I should've left immediately after the war was over. There was nothing but pain for me here. Maybe I liked pain...
Or maybe I was still hoping for a miracle.
I gave up trying to fall asleep that night. It was too cold, and I was scared of the horrible nightmares... I stepped out of the cave and looked over the dark beach. The frozen lake was right next to me, only a few feet away from my little nest. The wind was blowing really hard so I started walking towards the forest, hoping I would soon feel warmer.
Oliver did say that Arch wanted to see me. He had asked how I was doing... Was I just too tired, cold, hungry and in pain to think clearly? Should I just talk to him and see what happens? I wasn't going to kill myself, that much I knew already. I would've done it days ago if I really wanted to die.
Oliver also told me that my pack was now living with the Blue Moons and that they were now free from shadows, and recovering. Maybe I could... I don't know... stay with them? I didn't have a place to go, and the cave was really cold. Apparently, there was a bed waiting for me in a warm barn... And food. Actual food, not just rabbits...
But the thought of having to go close to Arch stopped me every single time I considered returning to my pack. I wasn't ready to face him. I really wasn't, that was for sure.
I stopped to take in the scents around me. I could tell that the Blue Moon patrol had been here at some point. I had seen them several times, and they had to know about me since my nest was close to their route. They had left me alone for now, thankfully.
I moved on, walking around the territory, staying close to the limits so I wouldn't run into anyone. My exhaustion made it difficult for me to walk in the snow, but at least I was warming up. The coldness in my mutilated soul wasn't fading, and I couldn't see how it ever could.
Once again, I thought about Arch. The day when I found out he was my mate appeared in my mind clear as day. It was the second cruelest day of my entire life, my mother's death being the worst. Henry loved to play those both days to torture me, forcing me to relive them over and over again.
The thought of him woke up the maggots inside my soul. I could feel them starting their slow process of munching away on what was left.
I had to stop to rest. My feet were shaking already, and I wasn't even that far away from my nest. I was so hungry... I wanted to sleep. Sleep, not thrash around in panic while the horrible nightmares consumed me. The ones Henry had imprinted in my head. The ones where I... hurt him. Arch...
Henry's favorite hobby was skinning, and the nightmares he left behind...
I wanted to throw up. I had nothing to throw up, but the nausea was returning. Only Oliver could get rid of it, and those few days after his treatment, I was able to sleep without the nightmares. I wished he'd come to see me soon... the shadows were clearly waking up again.
I suddenly smelled something. I turned my head towards it, and saw a young deer all alone, too close to the territory. My stomach growled at the sight of it. The deer normally wouldn't come this close to the territory, but maybe this one was too young.
Being as quiet as I could and ignoring the maggots, I started approaching the deer. I already knew I would never be able to catch it, but I was so hungry I had to try. The snow was so thick around here, where there weren't that many trees, but I hoped it would work in my favor since the color of my fur was so light. The deer had not noticed me yet, but it would soon catch my scent.
Just... not yet... Just a little bit closer... Only a few steps and I'd probably be able to outrun it...
The deer suddenly looked up and saw me. I cursed in my head as it panicked and started running. I tried to go after it, but I had no energy left. I wanted to scream and shout in my frustration as I tried to push through the snow, the deer already vanishing from the view.
I was better off dead. This was nature's way of weeding out the weak, and I definitely was one of the weakest.
At that same moment when I gave up, stopping in the snow that reached to my chest, I saw something big and white around where the deer had been just a second ago. It disappeared as fast as it had appeared, and for a moment, I thought I had just seen things.
But then, the sound of the deer letting out its final scream echoed in the forest. I just stood there until it became quiet again. I could smell another wolf, a familiar one at that, but it wasn't until I saw her walking out the forest with the deer hanging from her teeth that I recognized her.
The Huntress.
She definitely knew I was there since she made her way effortlessly through the snow, heading straight towards me. I lay down, pinning my ears back and wagging my tail to show her I meant no harm, and that I wasn't challenging her for the deer. No matter how hungry I was, I was not mad enough to challenge the Huntress, not even when the sight of fresh food made my stomach growl louder.
Her ears were up as she stopped close by, dropping the carcass at her feet. I wished she would just move on. She scared me; they all did. I had no idea what they thought of me, the son of their enemy. I hoped that they didn't mind me since they had the rest of my small pack living with them, but I was sure not everyone was happy to have us there. Especially me.
But instead of leaving me to my misery, she stepped closer, sniffing the air. I tried to become as small as I could and whined a little when her nose was only inches away from me – I couldn't stop myself; I was too scared. Then, she wagged her tail too, but I was still too afraid to move. At least I managed to stay silent this time when her nose gently touched mine.
She backed off a bit after that and went to grab the deer. I thought she would leave now, but she walked back to me, and dropped it in front of my nose. I lifted my head and gave her a curious look.
For me?
She pushed the carcass even closer and lay down a few feet away, watching me closely. I turned to look at the food, my empty stomach aching at the sight. I forgot my manners and pretty much everything else as I stood up and started eating.
I was so focused on the food that I failed to notice her changing her form, so when she suddenly spoke, I jumped a few feet away from the carcass with a racing heart.
"You and I haven't been properly introduced yet," she said with a gentle smile, her short, blonde hair twirling in the wind as she kneeled down on the snow. "I'm Aurora."
I stared at her closely, ready to flee at any sudden movement. She was wearing some kind of green leather armor that didn't look that warm. She stared back at me, her smile looking sad for some reason.
"I was not supposed to be in contact with you, but I couldn't help it," she said while I relaxed a little. "I promised to protect you, after all."
What? Why?
"You see, I carried your spirit with me for a short moment, and... I don't know if I should say this, but when you left, I've felt... like something is missing."
She kept watching me so closely that I started feeling uncomfortable. For some reason, my soul was at ease with her sitting there, but I was not ready to be anywhere near people, even if they were not Arch.
I took a step back, forgetting the food. Her smile quickly turned into a worried one, and she leaned towards me. "Please, don't go – I didn't mean to upset you."
No... I didn't want to be close to her anymore. I couldn't even tell why, but I was getting anxious. Every time I even thought about being around people, it made me feel bad, no matter who they were. Maybe it was Henry's doing.
"Jack!" she yelled after me when I turned on my heels and ran. I couldn't hear her following me, and I was grateful for it. I'd heard she was the fastest runner in their entire pack. There was no way I could outrun her even if I were in my top shape.
It didn't take me long to arrive at my nest. I crawled in and curled up at the back of the small cave, pushing my nose under the tip of my tail. I listened in to the sounds coming from outside, but I couldn't hear her, nor anyone else approaching my little home. It took me a while to calm down, but the shadows in me started their work once again.
At least I wasn't cold and hungry anymore. It gave me a little bit of strength, and the shadow maggots were easier to bear. Even so, when I finally fell asleep, I feared the nightmares would return.
But for some reason, they didn't.
*****
I woke up the next day feeling a little bit better than the day before. I hadn't woken up, not even once, during the night, which was a first ever since I was freed from Henry's grip. I wondered why... It also took me a moment to realize that I felt like I wasn't... alone.
I was careful when I pushed through the snow that had piled in front of the entrance. I couldn't hear or see anything odd when I stepped out. I turned a little, scouting the area, when I smelled something.
I walked closer to the smell, already knowing what it was before I walked around the tree that was hiding it from my view. I stopped to stare at the partly eaten deer that was nearly buried under the snow. Right next to it, there were fresh pawprints, and a spot where a large wolf had spent the night. I didn't need to see the white strands of fur stuck in the branches of the tree to know who had watched over me while I slept.
The paw prints were leading back towards the town, and I knew she must've left only a moment ago when I was waking up. Why did she care? This... Huntress Aurora. Why had she had my spirit, and why was she willing to protect me?
There were so many things I didn't know. My own memories were butchered and full of massive holes because of Henry, and I still wasn't sure what exactly had happened in the battle. Alpha Rayleigh had my father locked up, but I didn't care how he was doing. I was more interested in knowing how the other pack members were doing, but the thought of having to be close to them...
Since there was food under my nose, and I was again starving, I started to eat. The meat was frozen now, but that didn't bother me much. I tried to figure out how I was feeling and what I wanted to do next as I gnawed on the carcass, but nothing made sense. It was like I didn't know myself anymore. There was so much of me missing...
Once I was full, I started walking aimlessly around the lake, still deep in my thoughts. I even wandered outside the territory, tempted by the idea of leaving the place for good. My spirits wouldn't let me get too far, though. I was still drawn towards the town, towards...
I shook my head to get rid of the image of him. Suddenly, I could smell something in the air. It was faint and I had nearly missed it, so I stopped to focus on it. It was coming from the unclaimed area... A small group of wolves. It wasn't unusual for the hunters to wander off the territory to hunt for food, but the scent was so different from anything I had encountered so far. They weren't Blue Moons, and I doubted they belonged to either of the new allied packs.
Rogues?
It turned out that I was a terrible scout on top of being a terrible hunter. As I turned around to return back to my cave, I saw a group of much more familiar wolves right behind me.
One of them being Alpha Rayleigh.
I had not heard nor smelled them coming, and I immediately lay down on the ground, again trying to become as small as I could. The group of five walked to me, and if I had been scared when Aurora approached me, now I was terrified.
Rayleigh stopped to hover over me while the rest of his group continued past us, heading in the direction of the strange smells. I stayed completely still, waiting for his move with my entire body scared stiff. He sniffed the air, keeping his eyes on me. His posture was more curious than threatening, but he was the Alpha and that made him threatening enough.
As I waited, he suddenly turned into a human. He pushed his hands into his pockets and looked over the lake, letting out a deep sigh.
"You spotted them, right?" he asked and sighed again. "They're not the first group. The battle we had turned all eyes on us, and those brave enough are hoping to challenge us. They think we are weak, but they're all in for a surprise."
I still stayed immobile, so he turned his attention to me. "You and I need to talk."
It was not a suggestion; it was a command. Somehow, I found the courage to start my transformation for the first time since the battle ended. Once I was done, I sat there at his feet, unable to look up at him. I could feel his eyes on me.
"I remember you were much taller."
I peered up at him, and even though he wasn't technically smiling, his expression was friendly.
"Sorry, sir..." I muttered and tried to stand up, but after not being in charge of my own body for so long, it was difficult for me to handle my limbs. I could barely even get up from the ground!
"Careful now," Rayleigh spoke, and took a firm grip of my arm when I stumbled on my own feet. "You were not this skinny either the last time I saw you."
I stayed silent and managed to find some kind of balance on my wobbly feet. He let go of me slowly, like making sure I wasn't going to fall.
"The thing is, I can't let you stay here," he said, and I turned to look at him so fast that I almost fell again. He grabbed me again. "I mean here at this lake. With the rival packs prowling around and a bigger enemy watching our every move, I can't keep putting my men to watch over you."
"I-It's fine... I can l-leave," I muttered, my soul feeling colder just by the thought of it.
He snorted quite loudly. "You're not going anywhere. We've prepared a small cabin for you just outside the town where we can keep a better eye on you. It's not much, but it's better than that little cave of yours."
"No, sir... I can't..." I mumbled, but he didn't listen.
"Look, kid, you'll die out there. You won't last more than a few days," he spoke calmly. "You really think I'm going to let that happen? You are not my enemy, Jack. Your father was. I am gladly inviting you into my pack if you'll let me. I'm not going to force you, but I'm not letting you leave either."
"How is that not forcing me?" I asked timidly, glancing at him shortly.
"I don't know," he said and smirked when he continued, "I'm difficult to work with."
"I see," I mumbled. I didn't like the idea of staying deeper in his territory, but I also didn't like the idea of leaving. Apparently, I was difficult to work with, too.
"Come. This is the only direction you can go from here," he said, taking a step towards the town.
I had to follow him since he still had a strong hold on me. But I was scared of being around people, and the thought of having to be closer to Arch stopped me a few feet later.
"Jack?" Rayleigh turned to look at me.
"I don't think I can," I mumbled. "I don't want to be close to people..."
He stared at me for a moment, and then let out a deep breath. "The cabin is not close to others. You don't have to see other people."
"But–"
"Jack. You can't stay here where our rivals will rip you to shreds. I will make sure you won't be bothered, but that is the best I can do," he spoke.
After a long moment of hesitation, I nodded, but I wasn't feeling good about following him.
Still, I did, since what else could I do?