description: Cas tries to prove to Dean that his scars are beautiful.
note: Day five of my thirty day writing challenge!
words: 1,568
☁
Cas didn't know what to do.
Dean was outright beautiful, yet he didn't think so. It made him horribly upset, seeing Dean looking in the mirror, looking at all of his scars. There were small bullet wounds, stab wounds, scars that he didn't know where they came from, they were just there. Always there. Every time he fought ghosts and killed demons, he would get hurt.
It was just the family business. He would save people, hunt things. Things that Dean could never unsee, corpses and bodies that would always be engraved in the back of his mind. Every time the hunter came back home with any type of injury, Castiel would heal him with his angelic powers. Yet there were still scars tattered across his whole body.
Castiel had always loved him. Through everything. Thick and thin. Yet Dean probably didn't feel the same. Dean was pretentious, in a good way of course. He always kept his feelings bottled up, not telling anybody about them until it was too late. However, Cas could slightly read his mind, knowing how he felt about Cas and about himself.
"Hello Dean." a swoosh appeared up behind Dean, standing there.
Dean turned around, he wasn't wearing a shirt and his jeans were hanging low, showcasing the V-line of his hipbones. Cas saw Dean's favorite scar, the one on his shoulder where he raised him out of perdition. Cas blinked, tilting his head.
"Hey... hey Cas." Dean stumbled with his words. "One second. Let me put on a shirt."
Succumbing to become a blushing mess, Cas fought the urge. "Why?"
After that question, the air in the room was thin. Dean's breath hitched, holding his jeans with his thumbs in-between his skin and fabric. "Well 'cause... I don't know. I'd rather not you see me half naked."
"I don't mind." Cas said innocently, still looking at his V-line instead of his face. His eyes then flickered back up and Dean could feel the fabric of his jeans harden. It had always happened around Cas, no matter what he did.
No matter if he spoke with his soft yet gravelly voice, if he tilted his head in a way no one else did, it made him feel a way he didn't understand himself. Taking his thumbs out of his waistline, he scratched his neck and then his upper left arm. Cas' stare was intoxicating Dean without liquid, making him nauseous and dizzy. It wasn't fair, how Cas could make Dean feel that way with just his eyes and his lips, no words, no actions. Just staring.
They had always stared, even if it was a cry for help. They stared for too long at restaurants, at the bunker, in front of people. And in this case, at a motel in the middle of deadbeat Nevada. "Listen, I don't care if you don't care. I care, so... you should care."
Dean mentally facepalmed himself. What a fucking joke. He was now more embarrassed than he was ever before. Winchester logic. "I mean..." he coughed. "You know-"
"I understand."
"Oh."
Silence engraved the room, and Dean began swaying on his heels, his hands behind his back, trembling. He started biting on a piece of skin on his lip, trying to distract himself. Cas was now staring at his eyes, endlessly. That always happened, no matter where they were or what they were doing. Dean couldn't help himself, and neither could Cas, apparently.
Looking at Dean's lips, Cas couldn't help himself. He drew his body closer to Dean by taking small footsteps, walking slowly towards him. He saw the hesitance in Dean's face and eyes, flickering like a grandfather clock with a pendulum. Cas could tell though, that he was wanted.
Silly, they both felt. Silly that it took that long for them to not get nervous. Oh, what the hell. They were more nervous than a hen filled with a coop of roosters. Dean felt the twitching in his pants again, and oddly enough, Castiel did too. Now, they were inches from each other, Cas staring at Dean so contentedly that Dean had to back up his head or else their noses would touch.
"You are beautiful, Dean."
Dean hesitantly jerked his head back, honest-to-god confused. How did he know what he was thinking?
"I can just feel that you are insecure right now. I don't understand why." the angel blinked, his eyelashes touching his own skin, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Because..." Dean licked his chapped lips, ever-so-slightly bouncing his head up and down. "Because I'm looking at you."
Cas' stare looked down at Dean's feet, he was wearing black socks, tightly fitting around his soles. "I don't understand."
"God, Cas." Dean chuckled, his teeth touching his lip. "You are so clueless."
And Dean didn't mean that in a harsh way. Castiel was. But that was one of the things Dean fell head over heels with, his supposed innocence. In a sense, Cas was not innocent at all. He had seen the portrayed manner of death, and hell, he's even killed a handful of things himself. But the angel was just clueless about how humans lived. It wasn't his fault. He had to live in a compacted vessel, unable to portray his true form.
"I apologize." Cas took a step back.
"There's no need. I like your cluelessness." Dean looked at his arm with his eyes, without moving his neck, and saw on his shoulder the scar Cas forever gave him. The handprint.
The handprint showed so much symbolism. Cas gripping him out of hell, saving him from suffrage eternally. The way the scar showcased how powerful the angel really was, because scars like that could only mean one thing. Power. Cas was powerful but he was bashful and humble, he didn't like the spotlight so he most certainly didn't like putting his abilities on display, for everybody to see.
Dean felt it throb and burn as Cas put a light touch to it, it was first just a few fingers, and Cas saw Dean wasn't hesitant about it whatsoever. So, he put the rest of his hand on it, it fitting perfectly around Dean's shoulder.
"You know, that was the last thing I wanted to do to you. Hurt you." Cas muttered, still surprised Dean had never said anything about it. It was just there.
"Why?"
"Because you were already hurt enough. Then I saw how my hand engraved in your skin, and I was heartbroken. I remember watching you be pained by it, because it hurt."
Dean bit his lips, trying to find the right words. "It did hurt. But, that shouldn't let you down. After I found out what it meant, it all made sense. And I love it, now."
"You do?" he asked, tilting his head again.
"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "every time I look at it I think of you, and it makes me happy, you know?"
Cas nodded, straightening his neck from the tilt. His thin lips were sealed and he blinked a few times. "I don't have anything on my body to remind me of you." he replied, looking around, twisting his arms as his eyes scanned them.
"I have an idea."
Dean planted a kiss on Cas' cheek. After the quick peck, Cas took his grip off of Dean, holding his face with his hand. Dean laughed, exhaling air out of his nose, showcasing he was nervous. Cas looked confused, which made Dean's heart jump out of his chest.
"That was a good idea." he smiled with his lips. Dean never sees Castiel's teeth, except for the slight tips of it when he talked.
Their lips came together again and they clattered around the motel room, trying to find a place to lay down at. Their kiss got more heated as they moved along, and Dean gripped Cas' tie. There was no fabric Cas could hold onto, so instead as they laid down on the bed, Cas on top of Dean, he put his hand on his shoulder again, it still a tight fit. He squeezed it gently and took it off, trying to take off his trench coat to get rid of that extra layer between them.
Cas swooped back down and kissed the bottom of Dean's breast, right where a stab wound was jaggedly scarred. Cas then went over next to his collarbone, planting a kiss there, that's where he got shot in a fight during purgatory.
The angel went all over Dean's torso, kissing and sucking on the skin. Dean a sweating and whimpering mess. His breath was shaky as he felt the way Castiel's body rocked against his crotch. Even if Dean had his eyes closed, and his breath and mutters were incoherent. Cas was still in love with him. And he couldn't even name a few as to why, as it would take to long just to mention one. Everything about him was perfect.
I finished this at 11:47 PM, because I wanted to finish it before midnight. I really apologize this was dumb and anticlimactic. But I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it :)