Title: Are You Crazy?
Author: JokeWasOnMe
Reviewer: Prince_Pretence
Cover: 1/5
Please change it. First, it does not have any context to the book whatsoever. Second, lack of title or subtitle or even your name. Third, if the artwork isn't done by you, then it's a good chance that it is done by some artist who is not aware of you using their artwork without their permission and it's not a good thing to do, apart from the fact that you can be sued over it.
Blurb: 4.5/5
That first line is by far the craziest and insightful thing I've read so far in a blurb. No lies. It was comical, dark and had a start to it. Then comes the second paragraph. Whereas there is nothing inherently wrong with it, but given to what I've read so far, I think that the blurb is a little too revealing. Now, that wouldn't have been a problem either had the story developed a subplot, but the story literally moves on the terms shown in the blurb—which means that someone who knows a good deal about zombie/apocalypse/adventure novels, can quickly figure out the plot after the first or second chapter. If the book develops a plot more than what I have read until the 'Recon' chapter [the last one that you posted], now that would be a real plot twist and possibly the only reason to reveal that the two strangers will change our protagonist's life, because it's evident that they will, or they wouldn't exist. Otherwise, I'd suggest limiting it to that one impressive line or rewriting it in such a manner that it's not too revealing.
Grammar: 2/5
You must edit the book. When I first saw your request for review—the spelling mistakes were baffling. And believe me, the eternal judge side of mine would've bet itself that a writer who is so careless with simple spellings can't write any good. Sorry, but that's how it is also for hundreds and thousands of your potential readers. No matter how good your story is, it needs critical attention in grammar, tenses and punctuation fields. And the thing is, that there is also no need for an extensive rewrite or something—just a critical reread and severe editing. You can yourself do it, or get one of the community members to do it for you. There are most silly spelling mistakes and minutes, but distracting tense changes. I did not comment on every single mistake because honestly, that's nitpicking, and I was too busy wanting to know more about our chaotic but charming trio. But there was one place where I have commented, so hopefully that works as a marker about the whole tenses fiasco. About spellings—you will know if you run the text through the most common, freeware for grammar check. And so goes with the punctuations. All in all, nothing too grave, but definitely damaging.
Character Building: 5/5
This is part where you wanted me to focus, and that alone makes it so hard: what am I supposed to critique? But I'll try.
Apocalypse/adventure novels have forever been my favourite genre to read and the worst genre to write. I've seen many characters, and most of them are "badass". Sage is literally one of the two characters that actually deserve to be called badass. And the thing that I love about her the most—her lack of witty sarcasm. The lady can speak, act, kill—do everything that makes her a badass and at the same time, acts like a natural person. Like, I can't emphasise enough on how much I love her for being relatable and real. And her knowledge of chemistry—that actually contributes to her survival and in turn, to the story—it's something that you don't get to see every day. She is kind of a nerd, and jock but then, it would be an insult to her to include her under one banner, which is why I think she is the most influential character I've had the privilege to meet. And her femininity is the cherry on top because for once, I can say that I know a strong character, who is also female—rather than the strong female character.
Charles Grey and Elijah Bennett—they remind me of two very famous characters, and the surprising thing is that the moment they open their mouth, they break the image attached to their names as well as the trope of male characters in post-apocalypse/adventure novels. They have very different personalities and voices. They're one of the fewer well–developed side characters or characters whose narrative point we never get to hear out there. I absolutely admire how they share the centre stage with Sage in the book, yet, they never overshadow her or feel forceful or incomplete. Their characters depended on the protagonist of the book for moving forward—they can do that independently as well. Charles has some specific set of skills, that's not a cliché to the zombie novels and exceeds more than the current setting; as in, if he was present in an ordinary world, he would still have some credibility. Same goes for Eli, who is the perfect example of a well–layered character in its own, especially a character who is not the protagonist. If they were both, in fact, if the trio had existed in an ordinary world, they would still have an identity attached to their names. And thank you for not limiting their skills, their talents and personalities as 'developing because of this undead infested world'. But I do have one question that I'll need answered In The Book: who was that mysterious woman in the store?
I'll include the dialogue part here as well: it's unique and fun. Their dialogues and characters' voices have reason to be the way they are. I don't think that there is a critique for me to offer.
Writing Style: 4/5
This is the thing that you might have to pay more attention to. Are You Crazy? is an ideal action/adventure book, but it lacks a little in the terms exclusive to this genre where the action is more important than visuals. It requires a little bit of visual. Don't get me wrong—places, like the description of individuals objects [the noose or the room where The Blonde's wound is dressed], is written most intriguingly. But when we try to add up these descriptions, I don't think I'm able to visualise a "block" with a house and its interior. We don't need to know every single inch of the setting where the characters are present, but we should get a glimpse of these places. Especially since the book is set in a post–apocalypse setting. Where the conditions aren't regular, and things aren't the same way they would be on a typical day. So, how to do it? Simple—let the characters engage their senses. See the things that are out of the place [the shabbiness, lack of lighting], feel them [a touch of humid or cold air], smell it [pungent, rotting], et al. You've engaged your characters' senses when it comes to people [living or dead] in the book, but not when it comes to Sage's hideout or mall where she meets the mysterious woman. When doing this, take care to not go overboard with the descriptions, or you can make them straight up dull. Try to imagine it this way: if YOU were reading this book, what are the things that you'd like to be able to see. Of course, you don't know what the room looked like when Sage was lying on the bed [just an example] and how it changed when she sat up. So, yeah, that's that. The same thing applies to your characters' appearance and looks. While this is not compulsory, but if you want your readers to have a particular image of your characters, then a little bit description of their apparels will help. Especially with Sage, because I just keep imagining her as that young lady 'Zoey' from Escape Room movie, because of her accent, but I could be thoroughly wrong.
The whole scene about the car chase—I got the idea of the car chase, but not on how and where it happened on that block. Same thing with Sage's hideout when you say 'she looked down her window'. This is also a problem because where I live, we don't have 'blocks' or large, suburban houses. In America, living in apartments is a poor people thing—while where I come from, being able to afford an apartment is a huge thing. Why should you care? Because your description of 'Wither Gate being so and so blocks away' or the 'house on the end of the block' or 'zombies on the block' is not helping my visualisation. Your readers aren't all going to be from America, so you might want to take this into consideration of descriptions.
The second thing is how your characters' call each other. The 'young man' or 'younger man' makes Sage sound so old—I can't even imagine. It's honestly not fitting in the context, because Sage is almost the same age as the 'young man'. In fact, Blond and Brunette were better nicknames. And the other important thing about writing is how your narrator is conversing with the readers: they shouldn't. This is not a general fiction book where the thoughts, lessons, morals that your characters or narrator is learning should be DIRECTLY conveyed to the readers as well. When your narrator learns to 'move on', we do too. When Sage is unable to explain how the chemicals work [in one of the latest chapters, where she is describing how the chemicals work], you don't have to tell us that she can't explain it. She is narrating the book, so it feels like she is talking to the readers and it was like Night In The Museum or Jumanji where we have physically and unappreciative reached inside that fictional world. Nope, shouldn't happen. This happens a few other times, so what can you do to remedy this situation? Imagine that you're Sage and you're narrating all this to a wall. You know that you can't explain or question the wall, so you won't even try. That ought to fix it.
Apart from the whole visual thing, your writing style is impressive and the way you describe your characters' behaviour is making me see them do those things. I sincerely applaud, because you don't stretch these descriptions and still they are vivid. Not something that a lot of people, including me, can do.
Plot + Originality: 5/5
Zombie/post–apocalypse novels are the fastest growing novels on Wattpad. I literally saw seven novels in my feed after reading Are You Crazy? But this book—it is so typical of the genre and yet so different, I'm shook. And the best part? That the story does not move for the sake of moving forward—it moves because of the characters' motivations and aims. And not just one—all of them. Well, apart from the bad guys—which is something that I'm interested in knowing more. Since there are still more chapters to come and I don't know what's about to happen, so the bad guys [antagonists] are something that I won't comment about. All I can say that if the book ends without justifying why the bad guys are bad guys, I'm gonna be a wee bit disappointed and the book might lose all its credibility among countless other books where the story starts fantastic, but it just stays like that and doesn't give any perspective on the situation–in–a hand from the antagonist's perspective. Please don't let that happen to this book. But so far, I'll say that there is considerable progress in the story, where everything is progressing. Everything, save your antagonists—be it The Triad or the zombies. This can make your story look shallow and not so much enjoyable because, in real life, everything changes. Every grows—for better or worse, that's one whole other thing.
Originality; do I even have to begin with it? Let's just say that this is the first time [and yes, my own works count in here], where I found the title of the book deeply related to the story. It's—plain epic and nothing that I, personally, have come across before in this genre. Period.
OVERALL SCORE: 21.5/30
I have not mentioned a lot of points like Charles and Eli's life and past or even Sage's, but that doesn't mean that I haven't noticed any of it. It's just that they are so full–fledged and contributing to the story, that I don't really have anything to comment. What I loved most was Charles' and Eli's character that they are not some gun cocking maniac, neither dependent people who need to be babysat. They're mature people who can look after themselves, not be right or saintly all the time and still be heroes that don't need the same label.
In a gist: change the cover, run a grammar check, format the book properly for spacings and stuff, and pay attention to your writing styles. And please, please let this be a good book, a book which can be relatable to us all nerdy readers who think they have the potential to be badass, without being sarcastic or rude or a masochist. As a heads–up, take care of developing a good story as well, which means the inclusion of the opposite side [zombies/antagonists] and their development as well. They should not be just objects with no aim or purpose of their own that does not contribute to the story. All in all, just give the three some more hard time. Or seriously, you can fall in the abyss of the saying—well begun is half done.
Are You Crazy? has a lot of potential and structure of an amazing book. I hope the best for it, and I wish to see it develop into something amazing. If you've any questions or need more help, just write in the comment section and I'll do my best to help you out.