Hi fam!
I'm sorry for keeping y'all hanging. I'd started writing this update a week ago, but I fell sick and couldn't continue writing until today.
Also, I've written a new OS! I've already shared the story cover and details on my Instagram. I'm so excited!
I know I'm an annoying writer on most days, but I've been having thoughts on abruptly ending this book. I don't want to make you wait long for updates and I've been losing interest to continue this, mostly because of the lack of response from your side.
Please let me know if you're still here and want to read the book ahead.
I promise that you and I can make this work, but that's possible only if you'd step forward and let me know you still like reading this book.
Thank you and Happy reading!
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name: The Sun and The Moon
word count: 3300 words
published on: 10th June, 2020
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The next day,
5PM:
The next evening, we decided to go to an amusement fair, which was an annual event, held a few hours away from my town.
Here's the thing: London isn't exactly famous for the play fairs. The fairs here are usually limited to books and furniture exhibitions, but there are a few annual fairs, full of amusement rides and cotton candy stalls and roller coasters and a giant Ferris wheel; and here's one more thing: I had never been to such a fair.
Back in India, I grew up in Mangalore, where such things were there, but nothing even barely close to the ones shown in movies. In Mumbai, my time was short, and I was more focused on studies and my friends, and it didn't matter where we hung out as long as we were together. To be honest, I wasn't exactly sure still if even Mumbai had the kind of fairs that I always dreamt about.
But this, this was exactly how you'd picture it in an English movie, how I always imagined my first fair to be: it was on the edge of the cliff, a few hour drive from my house. There were food stalls, and a lot of them. Besides that, there were rides of moving unicorns and dashing cars, one roller coaster that went through an artificial water pool, and one big Ferris wheel, which could overlook the sunset and the rest of the city.
I was pretty sure I wore my excitement in my eyes, when we got out of the car after the road trip full of music and songs.
For people who's music won hearts a few years ago, you'd think it'll be pleasant hearing them sing again but it wasn't, trust me. They were miserable. All four of them. So much, that I actually spent most of the time laughing and couldn't sing more than a few lines with them.
"First time?" Manik asked me, and I looked at him as he stood beside me, putting his hands in his pocket, wearing his signature smile.
I nod, "You?"
"I've been to a few with Zubin," he told me, "We used to travel a lot when our parents just got married."
"What happened then?" I ask.
"We grew up," he said in a breathless whisper before he drew a smile.
"Bullshit," Aliya said, stepping in line with the two of us, "A person is never too old for Disney or amusement parks."
"I'd love to agree," Zubin called from behind, closing the deck of the car after pulling out his sweater. He walks up to us and I put my arm on his forehead, checking his fever which was much on control now. He shoots me a smile.
"Thank you for calling me too, I think I really needed the change," he looks at the three of us. After lunch, I had called Zubin to check on him, and when he told me he had fever and hadn't seen a doctor yet, the mom-in-me rose and I insisted for him to come home. Manik, thankfully, left his 'jealousy' aside and let me scold him. I think I understood him... he was mourning for the girl he'd just fallen in love with and God was cruel to take her away.
I'd like to think that.... I, more than anyone, knew how it felt like to say goodbye to someone you love.
And when I told Manik what had happened, although I knew it wasn't my story to say, he was adamant to be there for his brother, and so were others because at that point, I think we all knew how it felt.
We'd said too many goodbyes.
"Are you crazy?" Aliya shot him a smile, "I should be the one thanking you to come, I'd hate to fifth wheel between the two couples."
He rolled his eyes with a disgusted face, "My brother and my bestfriend. God. Talk about clichés."
I bite my lower lip to cover my smile.
"Are Cabir and Navya going to come or what?" Manik said and we all looked behind to see them leaning on the car and talking so close, with wide smiles on their face that you could bet it's something romantic.
"Don't you have a girlfriend to trouble now?" Cabir groaned at his bestfriend and I suppressed a laugh as Navya fled from his side and came to us. He followed with a painful expression.
"So, what's first?" Aliya rubbed her hands together.
"I want to start there," Navya pointed out. It was artificial pool again, in the shape of a donut, and a capsule that took you through it, with dark caves of different themes like a dinasaur themed park and a fairytale one.
"Are you a kid?" Cabir rolled his eyes at her. She gave him puppy eyes.
"I like it too," I murmur. It was a good start, something nice and safe instead of directly jumping into roller coasters and Ferris wheels.
"Of course the girls like it," Manik chuckled.
"I don't think we have a lot of choice then, do we?" Zubin teased with a helpless shrug.
"No, you don't," Aliya grinned as we moved towards it.
Ten minutes later, we were all settled in the capsule, or the circle machine that floated on water... I sucked at knowing what these are exactly called.
"So?" Zubin said, starting conversation before we get lost in the Disney themed cave, which was first to come, "We're going to Milan this weekend."
"Mh-hmm," I nod, looking at him.
"I still have to shop," Aliya grinned. I nodded because while planning Manik's birthday surprise, the actual shopping was completely sidelined.
"You have four days," Cabir rolled his eyes.
"What I was thinking was... do we want to go to Milan by flight, or by train?" Manik asked.
"Train," Aliya's eyes sparkled, "It's been such a long time since we've had a road trip!"
"This was literally a road trip," Zubin teased her and she playfully hit his shoulder.
"What's the journey time?" I asked him.
"Two hours by flight and eleven by train. We need to make the bookings accordingly," Manik said.
"Flight," Navya said in a meek voice. It took me a moment to realise why Navya's face had suddenly lost colour.
"Shit," Aliya muttered under her breath and I was the only one who heard it since she sat closest to me. We exchanged a quick glance.
Suddenly, the laugh was over.
Cabir smiles, breaking through the tension, "I think we prefer flight."
Manik, also getting the queue, nodded, "Flight it is then."
"I'm sorry," Navya murmured, "I just haven't been in a train since... Harshad. And I'm not sure if I can..." her voice trailed.
I kept my hand on hers, and Aliya kept hers above mine.
"Trauma changes you. That's okay. Never apologise for feeling something, even if it is fear," Manik reminded.
She smiled, nodding assuringly.
"We'll take my charter plane," Manik said again, breaking through the silence, "Jeff, and only some essential people for this shoot will travel with us. We meet the rest of the crew in Milan."
"Why Milan, again?" I ask him.
"Yeah, Paris is beautiful for shoots too," Aliya quirked in.
"I know, most of our shoots are in Paris since most of our designers are from there," Manik answered, "But we wanted this shoot to be special. It's... different. The collection is for pure cotton and since Jeff is the designer, she herself picked Milan for its cultural heritage and something about art. So, Milan..."
I nod.
"And plus," Manik adds, "I have a feeling that this trip will be better than we think." He looks at me and we exchange a quick smile.
I grin, "I think I agree."
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After the rides, we settled to eat, with only the Ferris wheel and roller coaster left now.
I settled for a sandwich and chips like most others, except Aliya, who went all extra and decided to eat fortune sushi.
Yup, they're making fortune sushi now. She had excitedly dived into all of her sushi, and found the fortune strip in the middle of the second last one, that she happily read out loud:
"Believe in fate, but above that, believe in yourself. Remember that you can't change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending."
"Wow," she ridiculed, disappointed, "Something like 'you'd-have-a-beautiful-day' would have been so much better."
We all chuckled. "I really like what's written in there," Navya told her, "It's important to remember that we can't change the past but we can plan for the future."
"Yeah but....," she quietly murmured, "I don't really believe in fate. Do you guys believe in fate...destiny?"
"I think I do," Manik was quick to agree and Navya agreed, "What is meant to be yours, will always come back to you."
"I believe in destiny, but I also believe that we possess the power to rewrite our stars," Zubin said.
Aliya turned towards me. I was debating for what my answer should be, but truth being said, I hadn't ever put a lot of thought into this.
"Honestly," I bite my lower lip, "I'm not sure if I believe in destiny, but if it's true, if everything is determined by our stars, then I'd like to look at it straight in the eye and ask it why is it my destiny to lose everyone I loved forever to death."
"I'm a strong believer of the fact that everything happens for a reason, and while I can't say anything good came out from everyone you lost....," Zubin looks at me, " but what I can say is... trust God and trust that he has a plan for you. You'll be exactly where you have to be in life someday and things that don't make sense right now will make sense that day."
"I hope," I smile back at him.
"And, maybe that day, you'll believe in destiny. I hope someday you'd be able to look around and see that your stars might've have taken away a lot, but universe always has a way to give back what you've lost. Maybe someday you look around and see all the love you have is much greater than the love you lost. Just be alive to looking around and see that day, because I know too many people who didn't have the patience to wait," he tells me in a whisper and I don't think anyone else heard because they were all busy in their small conversations.
I smile for a long time, "I think I'd want to be alive to see that day."
He smiled, "Keep looking around then."
"I will."
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We went to the Ferris wheel last. Navya felt nauseous after the roller coaster and decided to sit out, and Zubin, not feeling great himself, kept her company. We left our luggage out with them.
I and Manik were the first ones to sit, followed by Cabir and Aliya next.
As the Ferris wheel started, I saw Manik's fists clenched while I relaxed back in my seat. I did remember him having a fear of heights, even when we were sitting on the roof top of my house.
"Hey," I kept my hand on his, and he moved back in his seat too, looking at me as I go on, "Have I ever told you that I have your red diary? The one in which you wrote poems?"
"Yeah.... yes, you have," he replied, and I squeezed my brows.
"If you knew that, then why did you not take it back from me?" I say. To be honest, even I don't remember where exactly had I put it.
"Because I don't need it anymore," he shrugged back.
"Why not?"
"I stopped writing poems years ago," he replied. I stared at him in hopes he'd continue but he didn't.
"I thought you must really be finding it," I murmur.
"Honestly?" He looks at me again, "I didn't even notice it was gone. I used to write poetry as a warm-up mostly before writing music and I left music five years ago, so poems got lost along the way too..."
"So you haven't written anything in all these years?" I ask, inquisitive.
He nods negatively.
I sigh, "And I'm assuming you've shut both- music and poetry out of your life completely?"
He nods, "Yeah, just a part of me I never felt like revisiting."
"Manik...." I stopped, unsure of what I should say.
"Don't," he says, "You don't have to say anything. Especially not anything to push me back into music. It's just a part of me I don't want anymore. I've grown out of it. It's like you and classical music. I really tried pushing you back into it during college, you remember? But you never went back and I realised that such things just happen in books and movies- they romanticise the idea of someone you love making you go back to something of your past. I've realised that real life doesn't work that way. We grow out of things, especially if they remind you of a past, and that's okay. I don't feel bad about it, and neither should you, okay?"
I don't look at him, I stare ahead, absorbing his words. The sun was below the horizon and the sky was painted beautifully into light blue with splatters of orange, decorated by clouds. The moon was faintly visible to my right and the reflection of the sun was to my left, reminding me of how such opposites can also peacefully co-exist.
"Okay?" He repeats. I don't reply again. I didn't agree with what he just said. Yes, we grow out of things we lived sometimes, but I can never believe that Manik grew out of music. He breathed music; I've read his poetry and it was magical. There is no way I can believe he doesn't feel the urge to pick up his guitar and sing his songs or write the first words that come into his mind.
I scoot closer to him, entwining our hands together and keep my head on his shoulder. He relaxes under my touch and I smile. "I won't push you back into music," I promise.
"Thank you," he mutters, and kisses my temple.
"But, can you promise me something in return?" I look up at him. He squeezes his eyebrows and nods.
"Promise me you won't forcefully stop yourself from poetry if you feel like writing sometimes?" I ask. It was a petty promise, atleast to him, and he agreed, "Okay."
"We can actually see the Sun and the Moon," I point out my quiet observation and I see a small smile spread over his lips, as his eyes wander from the faint view of the moon to the last reflection of the sun.
"Have you ever heard of the Sun and the Moon being opposite?" He asks me and I nod, "A lot."
"Well, I have a slightly different theory...," he licks his bottom lip.
My eyes flutter in excitement, "Enlighten me."
He chuckles, "I'd like to put the Sun and the Moon as lovers."
I knit my brows and he goes on, "Imagine this: It's like the universe's oldest love story, separated by infinite space and time, a love of endless sacrifices, with the sun dying every night only to let the moon live for some time. They barely meet, only missing each other by bits on somedays . And yet, they have the power to coexist for only a few minutes every evening, stare at each other from far, and then continue the endless chase."
"I think that's beautiful," I reply in daze.
He looks at me for a brief second, "I'd always thought that such love is the strongest love– to be with each other for only one moment and to be able to live for a lifetime in just that small moment, but I think that's changed now."
"It has?" I ask, surprised.
"Hmm," he nods, looking at me again. He envelops next into his arm and continues to look at me, making me wonder how he managed to look away from such a breathtaking sky, but he seems unfazed by it as we reach the highest point of the Ferris wheel. "I think it has changed now because I don't see it that way anymore. I don't think I can be selfless like Sun to let you go and to be able to chase you from far. Call me selfish, but if I'm the sun and you're my moon, I'd want our eclipse to last forever."
The intensity in the way he stared down at me made goosebumps ride on my arms and a small smile managed to break on my trembling lips as I murmur, "Me too, Manik. I think we've chased each other for far too long. Our eclipse lasts forever."
"Forever?" He raises his eyebrows, asking for an affirmation.
"Humesha," I agree, as fireworks break into the sky. My eyes lit up as we briefly tear away from each to look at the city lights from the highest point in the town and being on the edge of the cliff didn't scare me anymore, and I could only that it didn't scare him either. The night was young and corresponded so much to the New Years night, with city lights and uncalled fireworks, me and him, except the previous time, we were just nothing, and today, I'd like to say he's my everything.
"Can I kiss you?" He chuckled under his breath. The cold wind makes me slightly shiver as I scoot over more to his side and he holds me close.
"You never have to ask," I reply back and he wastes no moment as he delicately keeps his lips on mine, and just as I forward my hand to his cheek, he pulls away. I stare at him in surprise but he looks at me like I was the rainbow in a dark valley that hadn't seen sunlight in years, like it wasn't the sky that held thousands of stars but my eyes and the only job he did was get lost into them occasionally.
And then, he kissed me again, and again, and again until our smiles and laughs filled the air around us and in that moment, I knew this was it.
He was my once-in-a-lifetime love, the kind that you only read about in books, the one that makes your head dizzy by only thinking about it, the more addictive than drugs kind of love.
I had always been hopelessly in love with him, but today, I was infinitely thankful to my stars, and to my fate– yes, the same fate that took away my everything, every single person I ever loved, but gave me him instead. It may be selfish, but the only truth I knew in that moment was: he was enough. Actually, he was more than enough.
somewhere between
letting go
and holding on
we found the courage
to love again
// -Ariana
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Questions:
1. Did you like the update?
2. Fav part?
3. Rate it on 10?
4. One bond you'd like to see more ahead?
5. Milan coming soon! Excited?
6. One amongst the next few chapters is very unexpected. Can you guess what it will be about? ;)
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This world is harsh sometimes.
Incase no one has told you this today: you are infinitely loved. You matter.
If you're going through a tough time, it'll all be okay soon. I know these seem only words now, but I promise it gets better.
Smile for yourself today, and pass it to another person, even if just a stranger. The world needs it today.
Love, love and only love,
Heer.