Lowkey
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{{ Written by Stephanie N }}
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《《 All Rights Reserved 》》
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Eighteen | Reveals
"I'm upset." I said.
"It's fine. I'll just-- the company wants me to admit that I have a child on the way, but that puts you at risk for them attacking and stalking you." Mark said.
"It would be different if they didn't have photos of you, but they do. They wouldn't even know your face, and I could announce it all I want and leave you anonymous but that's not the case." Mark said.
The fans had leaked photos of Mark and I had a doctor's office. He was holding Taehyun as we walked through the door in the photo.
The stalker fans lividly posted the photos and the automatically assumed I was pregnant. I mean, they are right but what if I wasn't? My privacy and Mark's privacy was on the line.
"The fans are mad and a lot of them have stopped supporting me or stopped supporting NCT as a whole." Mark said. "I don't want it to affect the guys. They have nothing to do with this."
"I get what you mean." I said.
"But I'll have to officially announce we're having a kid because it's true. We can't hide it forever. You'll start getting a baby belly." Mark said.
"I get where you're coming from but I'm still upset. Why should I need to share to the world that I'm pregnant just because you're Mark Lee?" I said.
He placed a kiss on my forehead. "I know. It's just the company heavily relies on me. With being in a bunch of subunit and other groups, they invested a lot in me." He said.
"Whatever I do affects the company a ton and it's just a lot of pressure." He said. "But on the bright side, you're almost three months pregnant. I think we can start telling people now."
"Like Taehyun?" I asked.
"Yeah." Mark replied.
"Mommy?" Taehyun appeared in the doorway with his stuffed puppy in his arms. He was in his pajamas as he had bed hair.
Mark and I sat up against the headboard of the bed. "Good morning, Taehyunie." I said as I stuck my arms out towards him when he started climbing up the bed.
He crawled over Mark's legs before going up. He sat between us and stuck his legs under the blanket too. He let out a little giggle. "My feet under the blanket like mommy and daddy!" He said.
I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek. His cheek squished up from the pressure of the kiss before I moved away.
Mark picked up and took him to brush his teeth while washing his face. Once Taehyun was finished, Mark brought him back to the bed. Mark plopped him down.
"Mommy has something to tell you, Taehyunie." Mark said as he threw me under the bus.
Taehyun turned to look up at me. I thought it was best for him to face us instead of turning his neck like that, so I repositioned him. His feet dug underneath the pillow as he faced us.
"Mommy has another baby on the way, Taehyunie." I said to him carefully.
He shook his head. "Uh uh, Taehyunie is mommy baby. Tae right here." He said with his hand on his chest to show he was right in front of me. He meant to say "mommy's baby".
"No, mommy has another baby in her belly. A different one." Mark said as he rested his hand on my small bump.
"Yeah, baby Taehyunie is right here." I said while placing a hand on Taehyun's arm and then moving it to my stomach. "The other baby is right here."
"Does Taehyunie have baby in belly too?" Taehyun asked as he lifted his shirt to see his round full belly.
Mark laughed. "No, buddy. Only mommy." He said. "That's a food baby. Mommy has a real little, tiny baby just like Taehyunie when you were a small baby."
"Uh uh, no baby with mommy." Taehyun denied it since he couldn't see the baby. "Only Taehyunie here."
"You can't see the baby yet. The baby grow in mommy for a little bit and then the baby comes home from the hospital with the help of a doctor." I explained so he could kind of understand.
"A baby, not Taehyunie?" Taehyun asked in a small voice as he realized what we were telling him. He looked at us with round eyes as we nodded.
"A baby that isn't Taehyunie. A different one." Mark said.
Taehyun calmly climbed over Mark's legs before landing on the ground. He wondered around the room, touching the drawer handles just to do something. He didn't looked nor speak to us for a while.
I looked at Mark wondering if Taehyun was even understanding what was going on. After a little bit, Taehyun spoke again.
"Mommy and daddy no want Taehyunie. Mommy and daddy get new baby." Taehyun said with teary eyes before the biggest frown I've ever seen him do appeared on his face.
His lip quivered before he used the back of his arm to wipe his tears away as he looked at us with an extremely upset face. He clung to his stuffed puppy before running off.
"Taehyun." I gasped lowly from him not understanding we weren't replacing him. It hurt me that he would even think that.
Mark and I immediately got off the bed before running after him. I heard his sniffles and little whimpering as he cried before I saw him sitting on the floor, trying to put on his shoes.
"Baby, where are you going?" I asked as I squatted down in front of him.
"Tae no more mommy baby. Mommy baby in mommy belly." He said as he expressed that he was no longer my child.
He managed to shove his feet into the shoes without taking the velcro off. He stood up while holding the hand of the stuffed puppy.
He tried to reach for the doorknob but he didn't know how to turn it. He let out an annoyed huff. "Daddy!" He asked Mark to turn it instead of me.
"Where are you going? Are you leaving mommy and daddy behind?" Mark asked him.
"Taehyunie, mommy will always love you. I'm not going to forget about you when the baby comes. I'm not replacing you." I said as tears filled my eyes, seeing Taehyun trying to leave.
Taehyun ignored me and grunted as he tried to twist the doorknob. Mark slipped on his shoes without Taehyun noticing before opening the doorknob for him.
I put on my shoes as well and followed Mark out, who was following Taehyun. I locked the door to both the house and the gate.
I caught up with Mark who wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Don't cry. He's just going through a hard time. He's been an only child since forever." Mark said since he noticed me crying.
"Where is he even going?" I sniffled. Taehyun was a few steps in front of us and was determined to go somewhere.
The security guard of the dormitory recognized him and opened the door for him. The security guard smiled at Taehyun since he was still in his pajamas and was holding a stuffed puppy.
Taehyun walked in, and we quickly followed since we knew where he was trying to go.
"Hello, where are you trying to go?" The dorm lady peered over her desk to look at Taehyun who was standing in the lobby.
We were in the lobby by the time she said that and Taehyun noticed us finally. He ignored us and replied to the dorm lady. "I go up." He said.
"Let's go up then, hm?" Mark suggested to ease Taehyun's feelings and let him go to where he wanted to.
We all entered the elevator, and Taehyun stayed on the opposite side of where we were standing.
If we weren't with him, he wouldn't have known which floor the guys were at nor could he press the button. He would've been trapped because the doors would've shut and he'd need to press a button, but he was too short for that.
Mark pressed the button, and I watched Taehyun have tears still running down his face as he looked towards the elevator doors.
Taehyun gave us a side glance when the elevator doors opened to see if we'd get off with him and even if it was the right floor to step off at.
Mark stepped off first and Taehyun followed. I stepped off lastly to make sure the doors didn't close on him by himself.
Mark waited for me since Taehyun ran off to knock on the guy's door. "He remembered the way to the guy's." Mark said quietly as he wrapped his arms around me. We watched Taehyun's little fist knock on the door lightly.
The door opened and Jaehyun looked down at Taehyun. "Oh? What's wrong? Where's your mommy and daddy?" He asked worriedly as he brought him in.
We appeared behind Taehyun, and Jaehyun looked at us as he brought him in. Taehyun began sobbing which made the members peek towards the doorway.
I immediately buried my face in Mark's neck to cry when I heard him crying so hard.
"What's wrong?" Jaehyun asked as he squatted in front of Taehyun.
"MOMMY AND DADDY NO WANT T-TAEHYUNIE. M-MOMMY AND DADDY GET NEW B-BABY." Taehyun screamed at the top of his lungs as he cried out.
The guys were startled from the usually calm Taehyun suddenly crying and screaming.
I kneeled down beside Taehyun quickly. "No," I shook my head as I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Mommy and Daddy want Taehyunie. Mommy and Daddy are always mommy and daddy to Taehyunie." I said desperately trying to fix things.
"Guys, he came here all by himself when we said Seomin is pregnant." Mark explained to the guys quietly.
We had told the guys we were pregnant a little before hitting three months officially. They were surprised of course but they kind of expected it since Mark had basically moved into the house.
Taehyun started thrashing his arms and feet around which made me step back. Jaehyun took over and tried to calm him down.
"Taehyunie, Taehyunie, look at me." Jaehyun said to distracted Taehyun. "Oh, look what Johnny brought for you!"
Johnny came over quickly while unwrapping Taehyun's favorite icecream. "Taehyunie, do you want icecream? I have icecream!" Johnny said as cheerfully as he could.
Taehyun looked over while still loudly crying before he stopped crying to take a bite. Once he finished the bite, he let out cries still but not as loud since he was multitasking.
"Taehyunie, does your throat hurt? Drink some water." I said as I uncapped a water bottle Taeyong gave to me, afraid all the screaming would've dried out his throat.
I held it near Taehyun's lips but he let out a angry whine and faced the other way. Jaehyun was holding the icecream for Taehyun, and Taehyun would only allow the guys near him, not me nor Mark.
I wiped my tears away as my own son wouldn't even look at me. Mark wrapped his arms around me since I was visibly sad.
Taeyong soothed Taehyun by caressing the back of his head like how I often did. Soon enough, Taehyun stopped crying by the time he finished the icecream.
I handed Johnny the water bottle secretly. "I got you some water!" Johnny said cheerfully as he handed it to Jaehyun. Jaehyun handed Johnny the popsicle stick of the finished icecream.
Taehyun placed his hands on the bottle with the help of Jaehyun. He gulped it down before not wanting anymore.
Everyone watched him sit there with the stuffed animal in his lap. He played with the floppy ears before Doyoung asked him something.
"Do you want to go back home with mommy and daddy?" Doyoung asked gently.
"Uh uh." Taehyun shook his head no. "Tae not new baby. Mommy and daddy no want me."
"Aye, your mommy and daddy want you. They love you." Jungwoo said as he expressed his disbelief on purpose to make Taehyun doubt what Taehyun was thinking.
"Do you love mommy and daddy?" Taeil asked.
Taehyun nodded with a pout on his face as he stared only at the stuffed animal.
"Why do you think mommy and daddy don't want you?" Yuta asked. "What makes you think that?"
"Mmm," Taehyun dragged out as he thought about how to say it. He looked up at Yuta.
"Mommy and daddy no want Tae, umm--" Taehyun said as he tried to find the next word.
"So." Haechan said as he assumed it was the word he was looking for.
"Mommy and daddy no want Taehyunie so mommy and daddy get new baby. New baby cute and then, mommy and daddy no see Taehyunie cute." Taehyun said while fiddling with the stuffed puppy's ears.
"You think the baby will make them forget you? That the baby will take up all their focus?" Jaehyun asked.
Taehyun nodded. "Mommy and daddy no play with Taehyunie. No say Taehyunie cute. No want Taehyunie more." He said.
"Ah, in the future, mommy and daddy won't play with Taehyunie anymore because of the new baby? Then next, they don't see Taehyun as cute anymore? Then the next step is they don't want Taehyunie anymore?" Johnny asked for clarification.
Taehyun nodded. "Anymore." He repeated Johnny's word since it was a new one.
"Are you going to go home with mommy and daddy?" Taeyong asked him with a small smile on his face since Taehyun was looking cute.
"No." Taehyun scowled and had a pout on his face. "I stay here with all. Mommy and daddy no stay here."
"Why? Mommy will be sad if you don't stay with mommy." Mark spoke up before testing Taehyun. "Look at mommy. She's already sad and crying that Taehyun doesn't want to go home with mommy."
Taehyun took a little peek by giving us a side eye to check on me. His scowl softened as his pout turned into a frown.
"Are you sad because she's crying?" Doyoung asked.
Taehyun looked down at the stuffed puppy in his lap. He nodded slowly. "Tae sad." He said quietly. "I make mommy cry. Tae bad boy. Mommy no want bad boy."
I scooted over to him. "Mommy wants you no matter what, Taehyunie. The new baby is not replacing you. There's no reason for the baby to be here, just that the baby is coming. You didn't do anything bad for mommy and daddy to get another baby. We love you very much. Both you and the new baby the same, equally. Mommy and Daddy have big hearts that can fit both of you and the new baby." I said.
"We won't forget you when the baby comes. We will play more because there will be another baby. We all play together." Mark said.
"Mommy and daddy promise we will always love you. We promise we are not replacing you by getting another baby. The baby is your sibling, a friend to play with." I said so he'd understand what a sibling was on easier terms.
The room was quiet as Taehyun continued fidgeting with the stuffed puppy. A little while later of Taehyun digesting the information, he climbed into my lap and gave me a hug.
"I love you, Taehyunie." I said as I wrapped my arms around his tightly before giving him a bunch of kisses on his cheek.
"I love you, mommy." He said cutely. We hugged for a while before Taehyun decided to go to Mark.
"I love you, Taehyun-ah. Don't forget that." Mark said.
"I love you, daddy." Taehyun said to him too. Their hug last a while but a little shorter than the one between Taehyun and myself.
"How about you guys stay in your daddy's room? A lot of his stuff is at your house but he has the bed and a few things still here." Johnny asked Taehyun.
Taehyun nodded while liking the idea. "I stay here with all and play. Mommy and daddy stay here with all." He said as he finally allowed us near him.
"Wah, that was so dramatic, what just happened. I really felt like my two year old self again when I found out I was having younger siblings." Haechan said as he laid down on the couch.
"You remember that when you were two?" Taeil asked.
"No, but I'm assuming I was like that." Haechan said.
Mark stepped down the hallway when he got a call from someone.
"Taehyunie, let's take off your shoes." I said to him. He allowed me to hold his hand to bring him over to the entrance. He sat down and waited for me to take off his shoes. I did so before standing him up.
I wrapped my arms around his small body and placed a long kiss on his cheek. "Mommy's sorry if I made you feel like I didn't want you. You're my baby Taehyunie. I always want to be your mommy, okay?" I said to him.
"I sorry too, mommy. I go here and cry. Daddy say mommy cry and sad." He said while ashamed.
"No, Taehyunie. You don't need to be sorry for your feelings about the baby. I understand why you cry. It's okay, but mommy really, really, really love Taehyunie so when Taehyun sad, mommy sad." I said.
He turned to give me a kiss on my cheek before patting his hand on my back. He grabbed the stuffed animal before holding my hand.
"So I have to write an apology and clear up the rumors by admitting that I have a child on the way." Mark said when he appeared again. His cheeks puffed up before he exhaled. "It was the head of the SM directors calling me."
"You can write it out, and I'll scan it through to our social media accounts." Johnny offered to help the situation.
I picked Taehyun up and carried him to the sofa. I sat down and kept him on my lap. His little nose was still pink from crying and his eyes were droopy. I could tell he was getting tired from crying too much.
"Oh, my baby Taehyunie." I said quietly as my hand rubbed his back and sides to comfort him.
I had my back against the couch before he leaned his head on my shoulder. I rested my cheek on his head as we cuddled.
"Are you guys hungry though? Did you guys eat breakfast before coming here?" Taeyong asked.
Taehyun's head shot up. "Yes. I hungry." He said.
"I'm." Mark reminded him before disappearing for a second towards his room.
"I'm hungry." Taehyun said, really emphasizing the word to Taeyong.
Mark appeared with a pair of Taehyun's clothes he had left here. Luckily we had a box of diapers here too. "Taehyun, change your clothes first. You wear the pajamas tonight when we got to sleep here." Mark said.
Taehyun raised his arms up as Mark took off the pajamas. Mark folded the pajamas and placed it back in his room after dressing Taehyun.
As we were eating some meal made by the dorm lady cook, I realized Taehyun had icecream first thing in the morning. I wasn't quite happy with that but he was crying terribly so I didn't mention it.
As I was eating, I felt a hand slide into my palm. I looked up at Mark who raised an eyebrow.
I leaned back a little and pointed at my hand. Mark smiled at the sight. Taehyun had slid his baby hand into my own hand. He held my hand while he ate with the other hand.
I placed a kiss on the side of Taehyun's head before continuing to eat.
"So Taehyunie is okay with a new baby brother or new baby sister?" Yuta asked Taehyun.
Taehyun did a side smile while not really happy. "Hmm," Taehyun said while placing his fork down and removing his hand from my hand.
Everyone was waiting for his reply.
"No. I not okay." He said before he glanced at Mark.
"I'm." Taehyun said quietly.
"Why aren't you okay? I thought you were okay since you stopped crying." Doyoung asked.
"I don't like mommy new baby. I'm very, very, very sad." He pouted. His chubby cheeks made it seem like he was extra pouty.
"But?" Haechan said, feeling like there was something Taehyun was refraining from saying.
"B-but mommy no care that I'm sad." He said while avoiding everyone's eyes. He stared at his plate of food before resting his chin on the table.
"What?" I said shocked. "I care if you're sad or mad. Why do you say that, Taehyunie?"
Taehyun looked up at me with big round eyes. "But mommy and daddy no ask me. Mommy no ask me and new baby." He said with his palm faced up while he shakes his head. He gave a little shrug before placing his hand down beside him.
"Mommy and daddy didn't ask you about getting a new baby?" Mark said as he interpreted the words Taehyun was saying.
Taehyun nodded his head before looking back at me. "Why no ask Tae?" He asked me.
"We care about what you think and feel, Taehyunie. We couldn't ask you because it was a surprise to mommy and daddy." I explained to him.
"I don't want new baby. I don't want sur-- sur---surprise." Taehyun said as he pronounced the longer word.
I didn't say anything else as he continued eating because I didn't know what more to say in order to make him feel better.
Mark worked on writing his apology as soon as he finished eating.
"Hello, this is Mark Lee from NCT. I'd like to firstly apologize for any anger or disappointment I have caused NCTzens. In times that you have been there for me, I have seemed to betrayed your trust. I am sorry for that. It is true that I am expecting a child on the way. I sincerely apologise to my fans. I hope in the future the fans and I continue the journey together despite this. Thank you from Mark Lee."
"Short and simple." Johnny said.
When they posted it, they huddled around the laptop to see fans responses. A lot of the Korean fans were angry while the international fans, for the most part, were defending Mark.
A lot of fans speculated that the video Arin had posted of her tripping Taehyun and me yelling at her, I was the one who was dating Mark. They connected the dots and defended me as well.
I carried Taehyun since he was still sad about the news of a baby. I carried him while I still could without a bump in the way.
"I love you." I said quietly to him. I placed a kiss on his temple. I swayed him in my arms as I walked around the room.
Mark covered his face with his hands for a second before groaning. "I'm sorry, guys. It's my fault they're leaving the fandom." He said.
"No, it's not your fault. If anything, it's good the fake fans are leaving. We're people. We're allowed to date and start a family." Doyoung said.
Taehyun rested his head on my shoulder as he hugged me while I carried him. "Tae mommy baby?" He asked me.
"Always." I told him.
"Uh oh." Taehyun said worriedly as he sat up straight in my arms while looking at me.
"What's wrong?" I asked him.
"I pee pee in--" Taehyun said as he poked his diaper. He looked disappointed in himself because he had been learning to go use the toilet.
He shook his head sadly. "I bad mommy." He said.
"Baby, no, you're not bad. It's an accident. That's okay. Why do you always say you're bad? Who taught you how to say that? You're not bad at all, Taehyunie." I said as I brought him to Mark's room to get a new diaper.
"I see on TV." He said as he explained to me where he learned it from.
"Don't copy everything you see on TV, okay?" I said to him as I changed his diaper. I sat him up after finishing.
"Mommy, I love you."
"Aw, I love you."