•Calum
The splash of cold water on my face instantly woke me up, ridding me of the grogginess from the worst sleep I had ever encountered last night. My muscles were still aching and sore from having to adjust to sleeping on the couch, since Cassidy screamed at me for even thinking of sleeping next to her, and my mind was still racing with thoughts.
I picked up all of my stuff that was in the bathroom and put them in a container to be packed away. I slowly pulled back the shower curtain to get my shampoo and body wash. I was instantly flooded with the memories of two nights ago, when I got to feel every inch of Cassidy's skin and got to feel her lips on mine and hear her laughter echo through the small bathroom. It was something I would probably never be able to experience again, and I hated it.
Honestly, I didn't want to break up with her. I'm in love with her. But the more I thought about it, and the more the guys, who actually had firsthand accounts of failed relationships while on tour, kept telling me about it, the more necessary it felt.
I don't know, it's kind of like when I was going to a new school and the incident happened. I just didn't want us to stop being close being of losing touch. That would hurt much more because the pain would be everyday and you could physically be able to see your relationship fading away. I just chose the route of ripping it off like a band-aid.
My feet stepped along the tops of the carpet, admiring the plush quality that I would probably never be able to feel between my toes again. Not only was I going to miss Cassidy, but I was going to miss this house. I can't believe I used to hate living here. It's been the best summer of my life. I would never be able to forget this roommate agreement and how it completely changed my life around.
I quietly opened the bedroom door to grab my suitcase that I had already packed. I glimpsed over to Cassidy, who was curled up in the fetal position with her eyes closed tightly, accentuating her eyelashes. She looked peaceful and at ease, which made me breathe out a breath of relief since I had heard crying the entire night before, and that had been the most awful sound to ever endure.
It was around four in the morning and I needed to be at the airport very soon. Cassidy was originally supposed to come with me, but I just don't think I can do that anymore. I don't want to wake her up when she finally got a chance to get some sleep and I don't want to hear her yell at me or hear her cry again; it will only break my heart even more.
My hand hovered over her head, debating whether or not I should run my fingers through her hair one last time or touch her beautiful face. I wanted to kiss her so bad. I wanted to hold her in my arms and just tell her how much I love and care about her, even if it seems like I don't. But I obviously have not earned that privilege, and I was hoping that I had made the right decision.
"I'm going to miss you so much, baby girl," I whispered as quietly as possible, biting down on my lip to stop myself from crying. I sighed heavily, picking up the handle of my suitcase and wheeling it away to the front door of the home, exiting it for the last time.
The suitcase tumbled as I chucked it inside my trunk. I sat down in the driver's seat, slamming the door shut behind me, and sped off towards the airport. Some driver would be picking the car up for me later, but honestly, I didn't even care about leaving it behind. I just cared about leaving Cassidy behind, and praying that this little break we were taking would work out in the end.
I hope she doesn't find someone better. Someone who won't make her cry as hard as I did last night. Someone who will be able to put up with her stubborn personality with patience. Someone who will be so good in the bedroom that makes her questions why she ever let a guy like me ruin her opinion on sex. Someone who will love every part of her mind and the way she is always smiling and has a sassy sense of humor and will never leave her side, because that's what she deserves. She deserves the damn world. But I want to be the only person to give her that, not some stupid guy she doesn't have history with.
The drive to the airport seemed shorter than usual, and maybe it was just because I wasn't even paying attention to where I was going, I was just thinking of Cassidy and how I hope that I didn't screw my chances up of every seeing her again. I hope this wouldn't be a repeat of four years ago.
A group of fans were lined up outside of the airport and I waved to them, but couldn't bare myself to stop. My eyes were probably all red and puffy and there was no way I'd be able to smile. "I'm sorry, guys. Thank you for coming though," I mumbled, keeping my head low so they wouldn't see that I was on the verge of tears.
"Cal!" Ashton yelled, waving me over to where the other three were. I strolled over to them, puffing up my chest to seem tougher. "Did you break up with Cass last night?"
"Yeah."
He gave me a high five. "Atta boy! I'm going to miss her, but like, now we have the four of us all single and all ready to party and to only have to focus on our music. It's going to be the best tour ever."
They all cheered, but I stayed silent, my lips barely curving into a smile. Luke seemed to notice this, and he placed a hand on my shoulder. "You'll be okay, bud. She loves you. You guys will pick up where you left off right when the tour is over."
I shrugged. "I don't know, Luke. She was really mad last night. And she could not stop crying."
Luke frowned. "Well how did she act this morning?"
I glanced up at him. "I didn't even talk to her this morning."
His eyes widened, as if this was the most shocking news he had ever heard. "She was that mad still? Oh my God."
I furred my eyebrows together in confusion. He must have completely misinterpreted my statement. "No, like, I didn't wake her up because I didn't want to see her mad or sad. I just left."
Luke, and even Michael, who must have been eavesdropping, let out a loud gasp. They shared a look of disbelief with each other. "Are you kidding me, Calum?" Luke screamed, earning glimpses in our direction from nearby people. "You're such an idiot, you know that? You can't just leave her without saying goodbye! That is so awful."
"I even said goodbye to Bree this morning and we were just a fling. You actually are like in love with Cassidy! You can't just leave!" Michael scolded, his cheeks growing red with anger.
Ashton clenched her jaw together tightly. "Calum, you need to call her right now."
I shook my head rapidly, feeling the fear build up inside of me as I pictured her waking up without me there. "I- I can't do that. No."
Luke gripped onto both of my shoulders, a stern expression plastered over his face as his blue eyes stared into mine. "If you don't, I will."
Jealousy swept over me as I remembered their almost relationship. I didn't want him to seem like the good guy. "Fine," I mumbled, taking my phone out of my pocket.
Since it was on silent because I was driving, I hadn't even felt all of the messages I had gotten. And they were all from Cassidy. "Shit, she's already awake," I complained as I unlocked my phone to read them all, making the boys all sigh in disappointment.
From: goldilocks- calum where are you
From: goldilocks- calum please tell me you didn't leave
From:goldilocks- no no no this has to be a joke
From: goldilocks- calum did you really go to the airport oh my god
From: goldilocks- i didn't even get to say goodbye to you
From: goldilocks- how could you just leave me without saying goodbye
From: goldilocks- cal this isn't funny i'm not going to see you until next year please turn around and come back i need to see you one more time
From: goldilocks- calum thomas hood
From: goldilocks- baby :(
From: goldilocks- please answer me
I felt my fingers begin to tremble. This was making everything so much harder than I wanted it to be. I pursed my lips together before typing a response.
To: goldilocks- sorry i just checked my phone i'm sorry for not saying goodbye but i just didn't want to wake you up
From: goldilocks- are you kidding me i don't care about sleep i care about you
From: goldilocks- you're such an idiot i wouldn't have cared about you waking me up i just wanted to hug you before you left
From: goldilocks- do i have time to drive to the airport
To: goldilocks- no we're about to go security. i'm so sorry cass but we broke up we can't keep pretending everything is going to be the same
From: goldilocks- i didn't want to break up i love you
From: goldilocks- i love you so much please just wait for me i'm on my way to the airport i need to see you
To: goldilocks- i thought you were still mad at me
From: goldilocks- just because i'm mad at you doesn't mean i don't love you anymore!!! you're such a coward i'm so upset
"Alright, we need to go," Ashton ordered, nodding his head in the direction of the start of the flying process. "You can keep texting her as we walk."
"She wants to come here to see me," I murmured, making them all look at ke with sympathy.
"Cal, I'm sorry. We- we just can't do that. We have to be in the UK by today. There's no way we can miss our flight," Ashton said in a firm tone, although his hazel eyes revealed that he felt really bad for saying that.
To: goldilocks- there's not enough time for you to get here. we have to go. i'm so so so sorry
From: goldilocks- NO
From: goldilocks- calum no
From: goldilocks- i can't believe this is happening
To: goldilocks- i know. i love you cassidy please don't ever doubt that
To: goldilocks- its always going to be you
To: goldilocks- i'm sorry for not saying goodbye i'm an idiot i just couldn't bare to see you cry again i'm so sorry for everything
From: goldilocks- please just have a safe flight and text me when you get there and please just text me or call me throughout the tour i can't just not talk to you anymore cal
To: goldilocks- i don't know if i can do that
To: goldilocks- it's going to make this so hard
From: goldilocks- calum don't say that
From: goldilocks- i don't want to believe this break up is real please just try and talk to me i don't want to lose you again
From: goldilocks- you told me you would never hurt me :(
To: Cassidy Gold- i guess i lied
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author's note: calum said the last sentence in the last chapter too is that like the lil fuckboys motto or somethin ??? tf
i hate having so many texts but i just want to make it realistic especially when we live in an era where most communication in relationships is through texts but anyways this is making me so sad and the book is going to be so sad :(
thank you guys for reading this and freaking out about it its so cute how emotionally invested you are in these characters lives i love it so much and im so appreciative of being able to have that much of an impact sorry if i made you sad tho
this isnt the end btw
dedicated to hannahlizbizzle for saying that she thinks this could actually make the story better & i agree so thank you for your lovely perspective on things cause like guys we gotta remember the plot cant be all happy & mushy theres always ups and downs just like in life & we gotta learn from them okay sugarplums i love you guys