"Fall in love whenever you can." Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman
Lilli and Ororo were standing in the hallway outside of Cerebro, where Professor Xavier apparently was doing something. Lilli was telling Ororo stories of her normal life in Ohio, speaking loudly and using hand gestures and facial expressions. She was specifically sharing funny customer service stories from her job. Ororo seemed to like those the most.
The loud hiss of escaping air brought Lilli out of her storytelling and drew her attention to the door to Cerebro. Professor X was leaving and coming into the hallway where Lilli and Ororo stood waiting for him. He looked momentarily shocked to see Lilli, but he quickly regained his composure.
"Lilli, how wonderful to see you again," he said, his British accent strong. Lilli smiled stickily at him— she still was sure he was the one who'd caused her to leave back in September.
"Pleasure's mine, Professor," Lilli said, her voice tight. "What were you doing in there? I don't believe I saw you out defending the school with the rest of the X-Men."
Professor Xavier blinked, looking offended. "I was with all of the other students and keeping them safe."
Lilli raised her eyebrows at him. "So that's the story you're gonna tell everyone, huh?"
Professor Xavier looked taken aback. "Lilli, what are you—"
"Don't listen to her, Professor," Ororo butted in, trying to ease the palpable tension that had filled the hallway. "We actually came to talk to you about something."
"Please, go ahead," Professor Xavier said, gesturing for them to speak.
"Back in September, I was 18 years old and I'd graduated high school," Lilli began. "However, I was still taking high school classes upon your request."
"My request? You'd told me you wanted to continue taking classes," Professor denied. Lilli raised a finger to shush him.
"Please don't interrupt me, Professor Xavier. As I was saying, you'd made me continue taking high school classes. When I went to you to talk about how I didn't want to be in high school anymore, you let it slip that the rest of the X-Men were not taking their classes, but in fact they were gathering intel and training and trying to protect the Institute." Lilli paused to glare at Professor Xavier, who was leaning back in his chair and watching Lilli in interest. "You told me that I was 'just 18' and you didn't think that I was capable enough to fight in the war."
"Lilli also said that Cas had never told her she was invited to our meetings and training sessions," Ororo added. Lilli nodded in agreement.
"So I was telling Ororo that same story when she told me it didn't sound like something that you would've said," Lilli continued. "I told her it was definitely you, and I suggested we come find you to settle out argument. Please, Professor Xavier, tell Ororo it was you who I spoke to the day I left."
"I would love to tell Ororo that it was me," Professor Xavier said. Lilli nodded her head, smiling at Ororo in triumph. "Except that would be a lie."
The smile melted off of Lilli's face as a pit of dread formed in her stomach. "What?" She asked, thinking she's misheard.
Professor Xavier smiled up at Lilli. "Lilli, that wasn't me. I was speaking with Kurt about the fight that he'd been in with Warren."
"W-what? No, wait. You're messing with me," Lilli spluttered. She'd been completely sure that Ororo was wrong. Ororo had to be wrong. Because if it hadn't been Professor Xavier.. it had to have been Cas.
"I'm sorry, Lilli, but I'm not. Cas tricked all of us. Unfortunately this seems to have been another one of his schemes." Professor sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Who knows what else he did."
Lilli could barely hear him. Her mind was filling with white noise. A white hot rage filled her veins and her eyes were clouding over. She stepped back, clenching her fists to stop them from shaking in her fury. It had been Cas who'd excluded her from the X-Men training and made her feel worthless. It had been Cas who'd pretended to be Professor Xavier and caused her to leave the only people who'd accepted her. It had been Cas Achtenberg who'd made her leave. It was all. His. Fault.
Lilli was going to kill him.
Lilli turned on her heel and left the hallway, storming back upstairs and up to the foyer. She flung open open the front door and charged out onto the lawn. She marched over to the treeline and went deeper and deeper into the woods until she found a clearing. Evil ideas of what she would do to Cas were rocketing around her mind and her body couldn't stop shaking from anger. The anger ate at her; made her quiver with fury.
Lilli screamed, letting her frustrations flow through her voice and echo through the trees. She kicked the tree she'd stopped at, imagining that it was Cas' crumpled up body. "I'm—" Lilli growled with a kick, "—gonna—" kick "—kill—" kick "—him!" She finished with a powerful kick to the tree, sending bark flying across the forest floor. Her hands were holding the sides of the tree and she lowered her head, panting. Her breath left clouds in the frigid air around her and she listened to the quiet sounds of the forest, letting them calm her down.
"Looks like someone's having a temper tantrum," a voice remarked behind Lilli. She jumped, turning invisible as she whirled around to face her unknown companion. Her breath stopped short as she saw Warren leaving against a tree a few feet away from her, his arms crossed against his chest. His wings were folded casually behind him, matching the casual way he was standing. He looked completely at ease. He was wearing a slight smirk that looked more calculating than amused. Lilli slowly turned back visible as she stared at the man she'd once loved.
"W-Warren— I didn't know that you were here," Lilli spluttered, her heart pounding in her ears. His face had been burning behind her eyelids and his voice had been taunting her ears for months on end. Lilli had rehearsed what she would say to him, she'd practiced it since the day in early October when she'd left him. But no words could find Lilli's tongue. She was left gaping like a fish, utterly speechless.
"If you don't close your mouth you'll catch flies," Warren remarked. Lilli's mouth shut immediately. Warren uncrossed his arms and stood up straighter, looking Lilli up and down. "I never thought I'd see you around here again."
"I— yeah, me neither," Lilli squeaked, pulling at a piece of her hair unconsciously.
"Especially after you... left Peter and I to fend for ourselves," Warren continued, his voice taking on a hard edge. The smirk on his face was gone. His cold green eyes bored into Lilli's soul. Lilli gulped, but found it impossible to swallow the burning lump that had formed in her throat.
"I'm so sorry, Warren," Lilli whispered. Her eyes started misting over and she blinked furiously to stop any tears from falling. She didn't want to seem weak.
"You might need to speak up," Warren said, stepping closer to Lilli. "I've lost quite a bit of my hearing. You wanna know why? After you left, three Kezing agents found Peter and I. One of them had this quite interesting mutation where he can make noises at such a high frequency it causes you to go deaf. He wouldn't have been a problem if we'd had three people, but guess how many of us there were, Lilli?"
"Two," Lilli whispered, her bottom lip trembling.
"And why is that?" Warren asked. He was starting to get awfully close to Lilli.
"Because I left," Lilli answered, her voice barely audible. Warren shook his head and pointed upwards with his pointer finger. "Because I left," Lilli repeated, louder.
Warren nodded. "Precisely. Because you left," he was now only a foot in front of Lilli. She could feel heat emanating off of him, but all it did was send tremors down her spine. She'd given up on hiding her tears and now let them flow freely, just like how Warren was letting his harsh words freely cut through Lilli. "Because little Lilli was too scared. Because little Lilli wanted to run back home and hide from herself."
"It was a mistake," Lilli cried, averting her eyes to his black sweatshirt. She couldn't meet his cold gaze. His beautiful green eyes were red with tears. Tears that were caused by her. The lump in her throat throbbed as Lilli felt her heart being smashed into tiny pieces.
"God damn it, Lilli!" Warren exclaimed, punching the tree right next to Lilli's head. "Forgetting to make your bed is a mistake! Spilling milk is a mistake! What you did— that wasn't a mistake. That was a sin. You sinned that day, Lilli, and you're going to have a hell of a time explaining yourself when you go knocking on Heaven's door."
Warren's face was inches from her own. His hot breaths fanned across Lilli's face as she sobbed, staring at the ground. He was right. God could never forgive her for the atrocious sins she'd committed. She'd abandoned her friends, not once, but twice. She'd lied, she'd cheated, she'd stolen. She'd been a prideful coward, a traitor, and on top of all of that, she was a mutant. No amount of repenting she could have done would ever warrant forgiveness for her sins.
Warren had stepped back and was watching Lilli. He'd known how religious she was and how low a blow he'd delivered to her by saying that to her. But his anger had spoken for him. He watched Lilli slide down the tree and crumple into a ball on the snowy forest floor. Her body racked with her sobs, and his heart broke with every tremor that tore through her body. Warren fell to his knees, watching through bleary eyes as the only girl he'd ever loved cried over his words.
Unable to keep watching, Warren stood up and hurried out of the small clearing they'd been in. He went a few feet deeper into the woods and listened as Lilli's sobs slowly started quieting down. He listened to her whimpers as every part of his body ached to go back to her. But he stood firm. She'd left him, it was only fair for him to leave her as well.
Only when the sun started to go down did Warren realize how cold it was. His wings always kept him warm, but Lilli had nothing— not even a jacket. Warren cursed himself for being so negligent and hurried back into the clearing. Lilli was laid in a fetal position right where he'd left her over an hour before.
"Lilli," Warren said, pulling Lilli back up into a sitting position. His breath caught as she saw how red her cheeks were and how blue her lips had become. She looked up at Warren through snow-coated eyelashes, her eyes looking lifeless.
"I'm cold," she whispered, her voice cracking. Warren helped her to stand, but her legs quickly gave out and sent her back to the snowy forest floor.
"I know you are," Warren replied. He quickly lifted Lilli back up and steadied her until she could stand on her own. "Let's go back in."
He kept one hand on her arm and the other on the small of her back as they made their way back to the mansion. Unconsciously, he extended a wing to wrap around Lilli's back to warm her back up.
Warren guided Lilli up the stairs and to her shared room. Ororo was absent, so it was just him and Lilli. Lilli quickly collapsed onto her old bed, drawing the covers around herself. She said something, but Warren couldn't make out what she'd said.
"What was that?" Warren asked, watching Lilli from the doorframe. He didn't want to leave until he knew she was alright— he felt strangely protective of her.
"Thank you," Lilli repeated, louder this time. Her voice was heavy with sleep, and her eyes were already closed.
Warren abruptly turned, leaving her room and closing the door behind him. He hurried to his room that he shared with Peter and rushed inside, slamming the door behind him. He leaned his back against the door, breathing heavily.
"What's wrong?" Peter asked from his bed, looking up at Warren over a comic book.
"I was just with Lilli," Warren said. At the sound of her name, Peter's face fell flat, and he set down his comic book.
"And how'd it go?" Peter asked, watching Warren carefully as he moved from the door and onto his bed. Warren placed his hands on either side of his legs and leaned forward, looking at the floor.
"Horribly."
"What? Why?" Peter asked, sitting up straighter.
"I overheard Ororo telling Jean that the reason Lilli had left was because of Cas. He never invited her to training sessions or meetings and he pretended to be Professor X and made her leave in the first place."
"Why's that horrible?"
"Because," Warren said, looking up solemnly. "It means I can understand why she left. Which means I can't hate her, Pete, no matter how hard I try."