Chapter Notes: Ava-Rain's POV
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- 'Thunder only happens when it's raining. . .'-
— Dreams (Cover), Gabrielle Aplin & Bastille
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It's dark and I'm terrified.
Fear burns throughout my body as I run through the forest, not daring to look back even once. Knowing that it's on my heals pushes me to run faster. To run harder.
I don't know how long I've been running. I can't tell you why. I only know that I can't stop. If I do, I know that it'll be the end. It'll all be over.
All around me, the trees are nothing more than a blur as I pass them by. Branches breaking beneath my feet along with my heavy breaths fill my ears.
I want to stop. I know how much easier it would be if I just stop running and give up. Give in.
But I don't.
I. . .I can't.
I ignore the pain in my chest and continue to run. I run until the pain becomes non-existent. Until silence fills the air around me. Until I feel the chase come to an end. Until the hunt is over.
The chase leads me to a clearing, and inside of it, she is waiting for me.
And in this moment, I realize why I am here.
Bathed in the moonlight, I stand rooted in the grass. Brown eyes stare back at me, her wild curly hair rustles from the wind floating around us both.
I move towards her and watch her as she watches me. She doesn't move, she simply waits for me to come to her. But when I am half way there, she raises a hand that stills me in my tracks. Her hand reaches out, a gesture for me to take it, and her mouth twists into a wicked smile.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up as a shiver runs down my spine. My heart begins to pound furiously as I stare directly at her.
I take a step closer. Then another. And another. Even as the wind grows harsh, even as my fear makes the blood in my veins run cold, I continue towards her.
One cannot evade death, and death is summoning me.
So, I go.
I lift my hand as I near her. Just as my hand takes hers, all around us the forest erupts into flames.
'Wake. . .' She says and tightens her grip on my hand.
The earth beneath me begins to shake and split, but I fight to remain on my feet. The crisp night air mixed with the heat from the burning trees creates a feeling I can only describe as that precise moment when the final second of dawn ticks down and the first ray of sunlight gently caresses you. My nose fills with the scent of smoke, of burning wood and grass.
Of flesh.
I look down and see that my entire body is on fire. For only a split second do I panic, and when that moment passes, I embrace it. I don't feel the flames. I don't feel anything other than power and pleasure.
And it feels so good. It feels so right. I have never felt as alive as I do in this moment.
'Wake. . .' She says again.
I look up at her, and, just like mine, her body is engulfed by flames. Hand in hand, together, we burn.
And I do nothing but marvel at the sight of our burning bodies.
'Wake. . .'
Ashes pour around us like rain falling from the sky. I close my eyes, breathe in the smoke, and every inhale seems to satiate a deep and monstrous hunger inside of me.
'Wake. . .'
Not one blade of grass, not a single leaf nor petal of a flower is spared from the burning wrath of the flames, and amongst all of the destruction, I can't help but find the beauty within the fiery chaos.
I can't help but wonder what it might feel like to watch the world burn.
I imagine it would be a wonderful sight to behold.
'Wake. . .'
That time, I say it with her.
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I don't know how I had gotten here. I mean, there were many things I had done in life, many choices made, many life lessons ignored, many paths I had taken that could have led me to this moment. But was there one specific thing that had been responsible? If there was one specific thing I had done differently—a different choice made, an alternate path taken—would my fate have changed, or would I still have been led to this exact moment?
The rain was coming down hard. My clothes were soaked and a shiver ran throughout my entire body. But nothing was as cold as the icy stare coming from Emily as she held my bow in her hand, drawn and pointed in my direction. Pointed at me.
We were no longer in the shooting range, but somewhere else in the forest where the tall trees were more huddled together and the moonlight could not easily penetrate through. The throbbing at the back of my head I assumed knocked me out long enough for Emily to move me.
I had seen enough horror movies, read enough dark, thrilling mysteries to know what was going to happen, yet my mind just could not process why I was in this predicament with a girl—a hunter—who was meant to protect me.
A girl who my best friend and her family trusted.
A girl who always had a smile on her face.
A girl whose job was to protect humans.
"What is this, Emily? What are you doing?"
"Only what I was born to do. I hope you can understand, Ava-Rain."
"Understand? How the hell am I suppose to understand why you're pointing a bow and arrow at me? What's going on?"
"There isn't much time before Kasey comes looking for you," she ignored my question. "But, it'll be enough."
"Enough time for what?"
"To kill you."
Were it not for the serious expression on her face, I might have laughed because there was no way that this was anything other than a joke—a sick and twisted joke to get back at me for not being the nicest or most friendly. Had her words not been laced with so much certainty and her tone with an intense conviction, I would have told her that whatever game she was playing at was over and made my way back to the cottage. But as she kept her cold blue eyes trained on me, I knew that this wasn't a joke nor was it a game. And just like that—even though it didn't make any damned sense—I knew that she was somehow connected to all of the threats.
I had only known Emily for a couple of days. Other than Kasey, we had no connection to each other. Fact after fact of why this whole nonsensical situation seemed unbelievable—impossible—raced through my mind, but all I could say—all that came out of my mouth—was a single word.
"Why?"
She lowered the bow, but kept her eyes on me. The small clearing she brought me to only allowed for us to be no more than fifteen to twenty feet apart. Even with the surrounding darkness of the forest and the fact that night had fallen, it was close enough to see her mouth twist into that smile it always seemed to wear.
"You said you heard bits and pieces of the story of Amitola and Huyana. Well then, I'll tell you the rest."
Amitola and Huyana? Was she seriously about to enact a story time? But if it prolonged her plans of, you know, shooting me, who was I to interrupt?
"I know how careful you were trying to be earlier," she continued. "You know exactly what the sisters were, seeing as your mate is an heir of the four."
How? How could she possibly have known that about Caleb? Not even Gray's pack full of pure bloods who had been watching Caleb and his pack for months knew about his identity. How could she have figured that out?
"I don't know what you're talking about—"
"Save it, Ava-Rain. I know all about Caleb. I mean," that wicked smile appeared once again, "I was going to be his mate, after all."
My heart stopped.
Shock hit me first, and it was immediately followed by a blow of panic. It truly felt like I just had the wind knocked out of me.
It was impossible.
She was lying.
She was. . .not her.
She couldn't have been her.
Because she was supposed to be dead.
"Emmy Grace. . ."
"Emmeline Grace, to be exact." She looked delighted. Happy, even. The way a celebrity might react when they were recognized on the street. "You know who I am?"
You are the girl who Caleb loved before me; the girl who still haunted his memories.
The girl that was going to become the pack's alpha female.
The girl that was supposed to have been mauled to death by Angelie.
"I do."
"Well, only what Caleb has told you, I'm sure. But because he didn't know everything, it's only right that I tell you all of who I am. I am Emmeline Grace Leblanc, descendant of Amitola, heir of the four, born of light. And you are Ava-Rain, descendant of Huyana, heir of the four, born of darkness."
She was crazy.
There was no explanation other than this girl was certifiably insane.
"You're telling me that you think that we are both descendants of two female hunters from, like, a million years ago? Do you know how crazy that sounds? How crazy you sound? That's impossible!"
Just then, thunder roared above us in the sky, and the rain began to pour down more heavily.
"As impossible as coming back from the dead? Just as Amitola and Huyana were reborn by the power of the four that came from their mates, I stand before you reborn, too."
According to the story Caleb had told me, Chayton's act of saving Amitola's life was deemed an act of good, while Chogan, who killed Huyana and brought her back to life, was an act of evil. Both sisters became the first human heirs of the four—one of light and one of darkness—with a power so strong that it had to be locked away inside of them. But that was a history that belonged to the wolves and hunters. I was neither.
"Believe whatever you want, but I'm not Huyana or her descendant! There isn't any darkness inside of me—"
"Huyana and Amitola begat daughters, who begat daughters, who begat daughters, and so on and so forth. Just like me, you come from a long line of daughters, don't you?"
Me, my mother, my grandmother, her mother and her mother before her. . .all only children. . .all daughters.
How could she have known that? How could a girl that I had never met before know about what I had always jokingly called a family curse? Because that's all it had been—a joke.
Was this nothing more than just a coincidence or. . .or had I been right all along?
"After Amitola locked both of their powers away, Huyana swore that there would be a last daughter, and, when she came, she would bring with her darkness accumulated throughout thousands of years to unleash upon the world. Huyana ensured it by enacting a curse in which the death of every male betrothed to every daughter would be the needed sacrifice to keep the power of the four alive. That darkness was passed down, daughter to daughter, from the first all the way to the last."
Had my grandmother known all along that this darkness that was once a part of her—part of my mom—was now a part of me? Had that been the reason why she could not love me—because my dad was suppose to die and not my mother? But why ask the Hellands to train me? Did she want me to be prepared for this day to fight back? If so, then why hadn't she just told me the truth from the beginning?
"You've had the dreams, haven't you? Dreams of destruction. Of chaos."
Fire.
Ash.
Caleb's burning body.
My burning body.
The burning forest.
That hunger, that desire to watch the world burn.
"You know, Ava-Rain. You've always known it was there."
"No. . ."
"Always felt it. You're probably feeling it right now, aren't you?"
I shook my head. "I'm not. . ."
"Before, it was so deep down inside of you that its voice was barely a whisper, and its presence was nothing more than a comforting caress. Then it grew as you grew, got stronger as you got stronger. Like a parasite, it fed off all of the bad things that happened in your life."
My parents' death.
The lack of love or affection from my grandmother.
Jennifer's betrayal.
"Every time you burned with anger, it fed. Every time you cried, felt sad, felt broken, it fed. For nineteen years, it bid its time, feeding and waiting for Caleb to come. Before you met, did you dream about him, too?"
I had. For months, I had dreamt of his black wolf.
"That was your darkness steering you in his direction. Because it needed him, needed what only he could do: free it from its cage. Just like my light—also passed down from daughter to daughter—had led me to him.
"It wants out. That's all it has ever wanted. And I'm sure it pushed you into doing risky things that could have led to your death, hoping for Caleb to bring you back, didn't it?"
When you allowed Angelie inside of your head despite the risk.
When you walked straight into danger with Declan, despite Caleb's warning to ignore Jennifer.
When you allowed Gray inside of your already fragile mind.
"You may have thought that those were your conscious choices, but the darkness was always riding along right next to you in the passenger seat. As long as you're by Caleb's side, it will only continue to lead you towards death. And that is why you have to die. That is why you are here. Away from Caleb, away from his blood and the opportunity to be reborn. Your darkness will get what it's been waiting for, but there will be no resurrection. There will only be death—your death—and with it will come the end of our war, sister."
Her mind was made up. Despite the harsh downpour around us, the more I looked at Emmy Grace the more clearly I could see that she was going to follow through on her plans. The more obvious it became that only one of us would walk out of that forest alive.
And it wasn't going to be me.
No matter what I did, no matter what I said, even if I had shut my eyes tightly and kept them closed, that fact would not change. A part of living life was accepting what you could not change, and facing whatever came your way with eyes wide open. And what I saw was the end.
Did I want to die?
Without telling Jennifer that I forgave her?
Without having some sort of closure with my grandmother?
Without thanking Kasey and the Hellands for being my family?
Without telling the pack how thankful I am to them for accepting me?
Without telling Caleb I loved him one last time? Without hearing him tell me that he loved me one last time?
No. No, I didn't.
Not at nineteen.
Not outside in the cold rain.
Not. . .without knowing what shade of brown was Caleb's favourite.
But everything that was happening was because of me. The threats against the pack; the risk of Caleb's identity being found out. If this darkness inside of me only wanted destruction and chaos, then it would only put everybody I loved and cared about in danger if it were to be unleashed. If my death would put an end to what my life started, then accepting it was my only choice.
"We know that there's a wolf out there that's been trying to protect Caleb."
"How do you know that?" She demanded, her tone became more dark and serious than even I thought possible.
"Was this why?" I ignored her question.
"Everything that was done was to protect Caleb's identity and protect him from you."
"You're in this together, aren't you? Nobody can fake being dead without help. Who is he?"
"I did not know my true identity until after I came back to life. I woke up alone and scared, but he was there. He is somebody that showed me my path. His goal is to protect Caleb, and mine is to destroy you."
"Who is he?" I repeated. "Tell me!"
"Somebody that understands that the end will always justify the means. Somebody that has taught me that sometimes we have to do what is wrong in order to do what is right. To save our world. To save Caleb."
"This is right? Are you even hearing what you're saying, or are you really that crazy? How is killing Caleb's mate going to save him? How can you do this to somebody you claim to have loved?"
"Don't you dare question my love for Caleb! I loved him more than anything or anyone else in the world. He was mine and I was his. I lived for him. I died for him!"
"No," I shook my head, my hands balled into fists. "You died because he wasn't yours to have."
Was that cold of me to say? Maybe. Probably. But I saw how Caleb blamed himself for Emmy Grace's death; watched as he agonized over the guilt. He believed her death was his punishment for thinking that he could have Emmy Grace as his mate, but he was wrong. She died for trying to have what was and will always be mine.
"And yet, here I am. Alive because of him. Angelie killed me, but thanks to Caleb's blood, I was reborn. Reborn to carry out the mission set forth for me many generations ago when Amitola learned of her sisters curse. To end what should have never come to exist."
"So you kill me and then what? You go running back to Caleb and think that you two will live happily ever after? That he'll just forgive you for getting rid of his true mate and make you his alpha female?"
She laughed. An eerie, bone chilling laugh completely void of any humour. "Don't you see, Ava-Rain? You're no more his true mate than he believed I was. Chayton chose good, while Chogan chose evil; Amitola and Huyana's powers of the four—light and darkness—were their mate's choices personified. Caleb is neither light nor dark, but both. He loved me as he loves you. Drawn to us both because our destinies have always been intertwined. All three of us, heirs of the four. Everything that has happened in my life, your life and his life happened in order to bring us to this exact moment."
She was wrong. What Caleb and I had. . .it was real. It was true. It was us.
Right?
I stared down at my hand, my eyes scanned over the cut that still had so far to go before it healed. Before it faded into nothing as if it never existed.
The mark that proved Caleb's love for me was true.
It proved that I was his, hadn't it?
I was his. . .wasn't I?
"You're not his mate," she said so matter of factly. So certain.
"I am," I whispered, still staring at the cut.
'You know she's right,' a voice in my head that sounded like Jennifer's said.
"You're not Luna's gift," Emmy Grace continued, each word felt like a dagger was being stabbed repeatedly into my heart.
'You never were,' another voice—Kasey's voice—agreed.
"Stop. . ." My hand balled into a fist.
'You've always had your doubts,' my grandmother's voice added.
"You're not his alpha female," another stab came from Emmy Grace.
'You always felt it was too good to be true,' Kane's voice argued.
"You're wrong. . ." I shook my head, hoping it would silence all of their voices in my head.
'No, you were wrong,' my own voice mocked.
"You're nothing," Emmy Grace concluded.
'You were always nothing,' Caleb's harsh voice hit the hardest of all.
"Enough!" I shouted. At her. At the voices. At myself.
Breathing hard, I unclenched my fist, and watched as my blood rolled down my palm from the cut onto the forest ground. I guess my fist had been clenched so tightly that my nails reopened the wound.
"You're wrong. About Caleb and I, you're wrong."
With every drop of blood that fell, I thought back to when Caleb had told me how he couldn't fully heal until I healed.
"Kill me, if you must. I won't beg," I shook my head. "If my death keeps Caleb safe, then that's all that matters. But you're wrong. You see, Caleb felt nothing when you died. I feel everything he feels, and he feels everything that I feel. I don't want him to feel this, but he will."
I didn't know what my death would mean for him, what kind of scar it would leave, but I had faith that, eventually, he would heal. He would be okay. The cut on my palm didn't have a chance to heal, but what was one wound compared to the many that our love had already healed within the both of us.
"This will destroy him, but he will be okay. And if I'm going to die, then I'll die knowing that I am and will always be his, and he will always be mine. And you can't ever take that away from us, not even in death. So," I finally lifted my head because alphas bowed to nobody, "take your best shot."
Emmy Grace raised the bow and pointed it in my direction. At me.
Blue eyes met my tear filled brown ones.
A deep breath escaped my lips.
And then, she shot.
They say that your life flashes before your eyes right before you die.
They were right.
In a split second, your entire life—memories you could recall and ones that had been forgotten—played like a movie, with a soundtrack full of laughter and cries, whispers of things you said and the things that you didn't get to say playing in the background. The genre of my life was a mix of beauty, pain, tragedy, and love.
But when the arrow pierced right through my chest, it stopped. And, just like that, it wasn't the movie that had come to an end, but my life.
I didn't feel any pain. Everything from that moment forward seemed to play out in slow motion. My head bending to look down at the arrow; the crimson red blood soaking through the white fabric of my dress; dropping to my knees as every bit of strength inside of me vanished; Emmy Grace walking towards me, stopping to crouch down in front of me and placing a hand on my cheek before whispering, 'I'm sorry'; her lifting the hood of her sweater over her head before rising and walking away, leaving me to die in the cold, dark forest alone.
I did not feel my body hit the wet forest ground, but I felt the chilling fear as death came to claim me. I tried to fight it. I really did. I hoped Caleb knew how hard I tried. But I wasn't strong enough to fight it for very long. Not when its calming presence loomed over me and stretched out its hand for my soul to take.
The sound of my gasps for air seamlessly blended into horrific gurgling sounds of me choking on my own blood. As I felt the warm, crimson liquid gushing out of my mouth, my eyes drifted up towards the night sky. As my laboured breathing slowed, my blurred vision remained on the moon up above. Although I could not see it clearly, I stared at it with hope that its light would accompany me from this life onto the next. But the darkness proved to be stronger as it clouded my vision and eventually took it over completely.
I was no longer afraid. Not when the humming of the rain played like a lullaby, whispering not for me to sleep, but calling me home.