FIFTEEN BEAT HIM TO IT
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The ferry ride home was probably the most awkward thing to happen in recent weeks. Norman was silent as he stared out at the gloomy waves, listening as Sarah and John B spoke. He was angry at the boy and in a way, felt like they were back at square one with their friendship. One loose thread and it all came tearing apart. Typical, Norman apparently couldn't have anything good when it came to Pogues and he had been foolish to think otherwise.
As the sun rose above the sea, Sarah did her best to break up the awkwardness with conversation as her eyes darted nervously between the two boys. He couldn't be sure she hadn't heard every aspect of their conversation, but if she had she hadn't asked any questions about it. She just knew something was off.
"My dad's gonna kill me for being out all night," she groaned, trying to start a conversation, "but at least we completed the mission."
"Yeah, yeah," John B sighed, avoiding Norman entirely. Norman was used to blind hatred and biting remarks, but never complete avoidance. "You know, speaking of the mission, you're not as bad as I thought you'd be. Unlike someone."
Norman scoffed, but he refrained from saying anything because he didn't even want to dignify that with a response. He could claim John B was being immature, but he couldn't really say much better for himself.
"Well, what'd you expect?" Sarah asked with a small chuckle, "And don't be mean. I don't know what's going on with you guys, but I'm already tired of it. Just until we get to the shore, then you guys can hate each other or whatever's happening here as much as you like. Okay?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?" the brunet sighed, "but fine, just until we get back to the island."
"Rocky?" Sarah asked with a parental tone in her voice to which he shrugged. "Awesome. Now, John B, I was going to say you weren't what I expected either, but I'm starting to forget that the more you two act like children."
John B gasped, looking offended, "I am not acting like a child! He is!"
"Oh, that is rich coming from you," Norman retorted, to which Sarah groaned, taking a seat under the eaves.
"Enough! Jesus, can you guys not be mature for five seconds?"
Both of the boys grumbled but ultimately quieted. It was strange to be fighting with John B again. It had only been a few days, but it felt odd to be right back where they started -- especially when so much had happened. So many things had been said. Maybe that was what was making their reactions so disproportionate -- just because so much had happened. There was more to unravel than there was when it was just blind hatred.
"John B, just go back to that weird, laid-back surfer dude-bro, and Rocky, go be your pretentious rich self, but stop fighting and sticking your tongues out at each other like you're twelve," the girl sighed, but she was clearly trying to hide a laugh, "You guys are totally ridiculous. If it wasn't so idiotic it would be cute. But instead, turns out you two are idiots and you're on some paternal jihad.
Norman pretended not to notice how she looked straight at John B when she said that. He couldn't be jealous mainly because he didn't want John B to be right. He was stupid and childish, yes. Not to mention incredibly stubborn.
John B shrugged, "I'm just trying to get this letter translated."
Norman wasn't sure if this was some form of flirting judging by how close Sarah was trying to lean into him as he spoke, but Norman couldn't watch. Sarah had a boyfriend, he had to remind himself. Maybe that could be his saving grace at the moment, remembering that she was definitely off the market. However, knowing Sarah's history with boys, he wasn't so secure.
"Hey, to breaking expectations," Sarah cheered, raising their cheap gas station sodas they had bought before their journey. Being up all night called for incredibly cheap caffeine in copious amounts. Norman looked at this interaction before shaking his head softly and turning to step towards the railing, leaning on it and looking out at the ocean. He barely overheard John B asking about how things were going to be when they got back, but Norman tuned it out. A world in which Sarah and John B were friends or something more was not one Norman wanted to be a part of.
With a sigh, he checked his phone and to his dismay, he had almost no texts from his friends. Just one from Alicia letting him know that she had stayed the night at his house regardless of his presence. He didn't mind that, he just wished he had been there with her instead of on this stupid mission. It had done him absolutely no good -- only proven Norman's belief that something between a Kook like Norman and a Pogue like John B would never be built to last; Friendship or otherwise.
By the time the island they called home was in sight, it was raining again. Norman huddled under the cover next to Sarah and John B, but he remained quiet and brooding as he had been for the brunt of the trip. He was exhausted and tired of being the third wheel to whatever the fuck was going on with John B and Sarah. He hated it. John B could deny anything he wanted, but Norman had been right. He was tossed aside the moment something better came along. He was a fool to think otherwise.
"Okay," Sarah began as the three of them walked onto the dock, "Now that we have returned to the motherland, we must revert to our real identities. Bruno, it was good working with you."
"Yeah, yeah," Norman mumbled, "See ya at Midsummer, Val."
"Au revoir," she mused with a giggle as he shot her a salute before turning and walking off into the rain without so much as a word to John B. That boy deserved nothing from him. He walked slowly, almost as if he hoped John B would call him back and say something, but nothing came.
He was an idiot and he knew it. This whole thing had been stupid, he should have just ran out of the shop the moment he met John B's eyes and he would have never had to feel like this. He wanted so badly to turn around and scream at John B until his face turned blue but the absolute worst part of that was that none of that would change the fact that he never stopped wanting to kiss him. He laughed to himself, probably looking crazy as the rain poured and soaked through his skin, chilling him to the bone. He was a fool.
For just a moment he stopped, thinking he could turn around and change the way things had been left. There was something between him and John B, something worth saving, but he was scared. He was terrified. He wanted to turn around and kiss him in the pouring rain like some lovesick idiot and he didn't care if Sarah was there.
However, as he turned around, he found that someone had beaten him to it. There, in broad daylight, was Sarah Cameron kissing John B. Norman had never experienced a real heartbreak in his life, but he wondered if the cavernous hole from his heart dropping to his stomach was something along the lines of it. Without even thinking he ran. Like he did best. He just knew he couldn't watch that anymore. He wasn't mad at John B, maybe he never was. Norman just didn't want to believe the truth. The truth that John B didn't feel the way about Norman has he did about him. In retrospect, it never would have worked, but Norman wanted to believe it would. Now that along with any other hopes of having something with the boy, were gone. Everything from the last few days meant nothing.
He remembered the way John B had asked him, "Do you ever think we'll be more than that?" Like a helpless idiot he had said he didn't know because he was too afraid of what would have happened if he said yes. Now he never got to know.
Bursting through the front door of his home, he bypassed his mom as he ran up the stairs, leaving a trail of rainwater as he did so. Slamming open the door to his room, Alisha was there sitting at his desk working on something. He could see her drawing materials scattered along the desktop, but he didn't care about that right now. He stripped off his wet clothing without a word to Alisha as he grabbed the comfiest pair of sweatpants he could find and a sweatshirt and fell onto his bed, wrapping any blanket within reach around himself.
"Rocky? What's going on? What happened?" the girl asked, turning to face him in the desk chair, confusion was written all over her expression. Peeking out from under her collar was a series of scratches he would be sure to ask about later, but he could only assume it was the reason she was here instead of at home. His heart ached for her, but he knew if she wanted to talk about it she would.
"I'm an absolute idiot," Norman groaned, trying to pretend like the tears falling down his cheeks were remnants of the rain. Alisha saw right through him as she got in bed next to him -- even though he had stolen all of the blankets. "He kissed her. They kissed. He kissed someone that wasn't me and I don't know what freaking out feels like, but if I did, I think this would be it."
Alisha pouted as she ran her fingers through Norman's rain-soaked hair with a gentle musing, "Oh, honey."
"I hate boys, I'm going back to being straight. Things were so much easier before all of this," Norman sighed. When Alisha chuckled at this, he shook his head, "No, I mean it. I was kidding myself -- looking for attention from anyone who would give it to me. This was just some... some big overreaction."
"Rocky, one heartbreak isn't going to kill you," Alisha sighed, "It's not worth it to repress yourself like this. You were finally getting somewhere with yourself, don't throw it all away now."
"I don't even know what else there is to do. I just... I can't take being the second choice."
"If you think about it, she's the second choice because he liked you first."
"And I turned him down like a coward."
"You couldn't have known what would have happened," Alisha said with a shrug, "Maybe you had to lose him to realize how much you really care about him."
He scoffed, "Enough with the life lessons, I just wanna mope for a bit."
She nodded, "Okay, Rocky, you know I'll be right here if you need me."
"I love you," Rocky mumbled as she stood up from the bed to return to whatever she had been working on.
"I love you, too."
writing the scene where norman saw them kissing made me so upset y'all have no idea i swear i didn't wanna do that to him however that will never stop me from making him suffer so ha also this chapter is short but important so deal w it i'm exhausted