𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭 @awkward_reindeer 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐬.
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fandom: None (it's set in a steampunk world inspired by 1850 and I guess set in 1850? sorry if this is vague I'm still trying to work out the rules of my world.)
Nice~ I don't mind if it's still under construction since you can add more detail about your universe in the future.
birth name: Sadie Braxton (hates first name with a passion)
Nothing out of the ordinary here. Nice and simple. I personally dislike long and unnecessarily extravagant names. We don't need another "ebony raven dark'ness dementia way" so kudos to you for giving them a simple name.
nickname: Braxton
Makes sense.
age: 16
A very common age in OCs but I'm not picky with age. As long as you can write the story with their age in mind and utilizing it to make interesting situations and characterization it's good in my book.
species: human
Gender (ftm): they\them, he\him
sexuality: asexual/panromantic
ooOoH, some nice diVerSiTy~ but fr I do enjoy some sexually diverse OCs.
Nationality: (I haven't decided)
ethnicity: (I haven't decided)
It's fine if you haven't decided yet. I assume it won't be too important to the storyline so I'll let it slide. Just remember when you do decide, make sure the ethnicity matches up with their name.
appearance: pretty short (5'0), a mop of tangled short (usually greasy) dark brown curly hair, hazel eyes, dark puffy rings around eyes from lack of sleep, 46kg (which is about the average for his height), round glasses, triangle face type, fairly small build, sometimes gets acne on his face, usually wears a victorian style lab coat or a grey waistcoat and black pants. (i've left the skin tone out, since I haven't decided on his nationality or ethnicity yet, so interpret it however you want.)
Awe he's smol.❤️ I like how he has visible flaws like the acne and greasy hair (This is a bit weird but I love when characters have acne. It's just so relatable and humanizes them really well) but his design is a bit forgettable so maybe add something like visible callouses on his hands, a signature accessory, a memorable colour scheme. Or even better add in how he presents himself. Describe his posture, movement style and expressions. Just something more distinct and memorable is what I'm saying, but otherwise it's very good.
Personality: This boy is almost always paranoid about something, he is usually very cautious around new people and will often be suspicious of their 'true intentions'. Although his paranoia gets noticeably a lot worse when he doesn't get enough sleep. He is weirdly decisive and specific and if he gets an idea in his head he will almost always do it. He is ambitious, almost to an unhealthy degree and will lock himself in his lab and deprive himself of self-care until he gets the answer he wants. He adores science (especially chemistry and biology) and 'seeing how things tick'. However, he's not very good at understanding other people's emotions but he is getting better at it. He is generally a very curious person and will ask a lot of questions. He is also quite selfish and usually only has his best interests in mind, if there was a fire for example he would just flee without even giving the other people in the building a second thought. He is usually quiet and serious and his sense of humor is tinged with a fair bit of satire. Even though he likes to think of himself as logical he can often have a hard time regulating his own emotions. He is very aware of this and often tries to hide them or block them out. This can sometimes lead to emotional outbursts and sort-of-kind of tantrums type things (idk it's late and i'm tired). He can be a bit bratty and a little childish at times such as if he messes up he'll immediately pin the blame on someone else. If he doesn't like you he will make it known through passive-aggressive comments and indirectly insulting you. He is screechy and tiny bit neurotic, although most of the screechy and neuroticism can probably be blamed on his lack of sleep. He likes his space and doesn't like crowds since he finds them dirty and claustrophobic. He is a little prideful and has a distaste for asking for help.
Okay, I REALLY like his personality. I can really get a good grip on what kind of person he is and I think it matches his appearance well. He's got that slightly disturbed scientist vibe going on and I live for it. I also love how you added that he's not 100% morally benevolent. It adds much more interest to his character. His emotional immaturity is also a good contrast to his intelligence and he has the personality for some really good dialogue. But even with all the detail you provided I still think he can be a bit further characterized. Add how he reacts to pressure, how he deals with his feelings etc. You know what I mean? Get deep into those layers.
weakness: Braxton is self-destructive, he deprives himself of self-care until the thing his working on is complete and sometimes makes things harder for himself because of his pride and not wanting to ask for help ever. He is selfish and often forgets to think of other people before himself. Not gonna lie, he is a little obsessive and has a hard time understanding basic morals. Struggles with social cues. He can also be very possessive and will quite literally growl at you if you touch something of 'his'. Generally not a very pleasant person to be around, he also outright refuses to talk to most new people that come into the house and will instead just glare at them until they leave. Fairly decisive when he gets an idea in his head he will just do it without really thinking about the consequences.
You set him up for some potentially very satisfying character development/arcs here. I like his unfriendliness and lack of self-importance. It'll make for some really adorable scenes where he can get cared for by other characters and can be used as a tool for character interactions. ;)) He's really endearing and kinda reminds me of Hank from Detroit become human and Ray from The Promised Neverland (my faves) too lol.
strengths: Braxton is quite an intelligent individual and can quickly solve problems (remember being intelligent doesn't necessarily make you wise). He is very curious and leaves no stone unturned. He is quite inventive and can come up with new exciting ideas quite easily and new ways of thinking about things. This character is very ambitious and usually knows exactly what they want. He also has a fairly unique way of thinking about things and doing things. He's pretty objective and is also a fairly persistent guy and usually completes the thing he says he's going to complete.
It makes sense for the rest of his personality well. He really does have a science-oriented mind that's a genius with complicated experiments but a totally awkward bean in social situations and I find it really cute. He has a consistent and distinct personality so it'll be easier to not fuck up and write him doing things out of character.
skills: Chemistry, biology, figuring out ways to get to the top shelf without having to ask for help, can (nearly) lick his elbow, problem-solving.
Lol, he has an interesting skill set. Pretty realistic for a kid his age.
fears: (woo boy here we go) failure (quite a common fear but it drives him to constantly try and be the best), death (again a common one but it keeps him up most nights) being found out (one of his biggest fears as only two people know that he was a girl but he will sometimes have nightmares about one of them betraying him and telling everyone), small spaces (not as big as the others but still there, he doesn't like the trapped feeling he doesn't want to be trapped, not again.)
Makes sense for his character and are reasonable for his overall identity.
family:
Harriet Braxton (younger sister): Harriet is the only family member he has mostly good memories with, he loves his sister a lot. She's also the only family member that he will still send letters to. (She hides them from their parents and will occasionally send one back just to assure him she's okay and doing well.) His decision has actually swayed their relationship a bit and she kind of feels like he abandoned her without even saying goodbye, she also kinda wishes he would write to her more.
Millie Braxton (mother): He occasionally misses his mother but he wasn't that close to her like he was with his sister so he usually ignores the occasional nag of guilt in the back of his conscience for leaving. His mother (before the incident) was always very nice to him but was also off in her own world and came off as a little distant.
Howard Braxton (father): He doesn't miss his father, he was always working or in his study writing papers so Braxton never really saw or talked to him. After all, what's the point in wasting effort missing someone you barely knew?
William Braxton (grandfather, deceased): sadly his grandfather passed away before he was born however Braxton thanks him as he was the reason he got into science as his grandfather was a science professor and left behind all his old notes and books.
Damn. His family is painfully realistic. It's that not visibly broken but emotionally broken. It isn't an overly tragic situation and can be used well to shape who he became today as a person.
Friends:
Blair Viceheart (love interest): Blair pisses Braxton off a little bit, with her insane daredevil personality and her absolute inability to think things through (how does one person manage to break so many windows?). Other than that they do actually get along most of the time. Blair is one of the few people that will actually listen to Braxtons ideas and seems fairly interested in what he has to say. She's actually one of the few people he gets along with because of her open-mindedness. So it wasn't much of a surprise when he developed a bit of crush on her. Quite ironic seeing as in his opinion romance is stupid and shouldn't exist yet he still keeps following Blair around like some lovesick puppy. Blair is completely oblivious to this and sees him as her younger brother (despite them being roughly the same age).
Can I just say...this is my favourite romantic relationship dynamic I've seen. You can say Blair is a bit too much of a manic pixie dream girl but I absolutely love her. Just make sure to characterize Blair further later.The way she contrasts against Braxton and supports him ♡＾▽＾♡ she makes my heart uwu. They are so adorable with each other. I love how it isn't insta-love and how Braxton doesn't change out of his distinct persona for lOvE (I despise when loVe changes the personality of a character for no good reason) I can see so many opportunities to make their personalities play against each other and it's just *chef's kiss* perfecto.
Tommy Detz (friend?): Braxton doesn't really get along with Tommy but puts up with him since he has to see him a lot as he is Blair's best friend and comes over to the house a lot. Tommy is basically the opposite of him and is very moral, extroverted, interested in nature (ew.) and he makes a lot of really bad dad jokes and puns. Also, he is maybe a little jealous of the other boys ability to easily make friends and talk to people.
This is also a perfect dynamic in my opinion. I love how the two don't get along perfectly and how he makes bad dad jokes and puns. It makes him memorable. He has the potential to be a good comedic relief character and I absolutely adore how Braxton gets insecure about his social skills. It's just too damn realistic and I can see how you can make some really good scenes with the two and use them to develop the characters.
prof. Viceheart (mentor also Blairs dad): Braxton's mentor, it is very hard to earn the respect of Braxton seeing as he has very little faith in anyone outside himself however prof. Viceheart is an exception and is one of the few people Braxton admires and respects. At first, he was a little hesitant at trusting him but after time he gradually warmed up to the man.
Aww, I'm a total sucker for mentor x pupil dynamics. Just make sure to be careful when writing the beginning of their relationship to find the balance between instant-likability with pacing and developing their relationship. Remember to give a good reason on why and/or how Braxton came to admire and respect professor Viceheart so bad. There's not much detail in this portion either so maybe you can add some more. Normally I find people advising against writing characters with surnames like "Viceheart" but I find that it works exceptionally well in the universe's aesthetic so I wouldn't worry too much about bothering to change it.
(I just want to let whoever's reading this know that this current backstory is outdated and I hate it and it literally doesn't even make sense. So just know that I am currently writing a new one but it may take a while before I post it due to life being hectic at the moment.)
Lol, I'll keep it in mind.
Backstory (this took place roughly two years ago): Braxton grew up in a middle-class family with his mother, father and little sister Harriet. In his childhood, he had a very hard time making friends and didn't like talking to other people his age and the only other person close to his age that he would talk to was Harriet, his sister. Braxtons grandfather was a science prof so when he died (before Braxton was born) he left behind all his notes and books. Braxton would spend hours reading them and analyzing them, he even tried out a few experiments. Unfortunately, his parents found out and scolded him because science wasn't 'ladylike' and wouldn't get you a husband, after being practically yelled at he promised them he would give it up. Of course he continued to pursue science; he just did it in more secrecy and took more precautions. Only his sister knew that he was still continuing his little hobby. Later in the year, his town held their annual science fair. He really wanted to enter but he knew how his parents would react. Roughly two days before the fair he was cleaning the attic (as per his mother's request) and stumbled (quite literally) upon a strange box with the words W.Braxton. Out of curiosity he opened the box and inside was boys clothing in all different sizes, unfortunately before he could do anything his mother called him to dinner. The night before the fair he was thinking about the clothes for most of the night before deciding he was going to enter the fair as a boy. In the morning when his father was working and his mother had taken Harriet for tea with her friends, Braxton got to work. First he made a makeshift binder out of a broken corset, hid his hair under his hat and used the clothing in the box that fit him the best (sorta). He entered the fair (lazily) using his last name as his first name. Strangely being referred too as male made him feel happier then he ever had been however he quickly brushed this off. In the fair he decided to perform a live dissection on a frog, only a few people watched but that didn't bother him. Unbeknownst to him he accidentally left his coat at the fair. When he snuck home he was unfortunately caught by his parents, turns out he wasn't as careful coming home as he had hoped. His parents did not react kindly, locking in his room furious that he had nearly sacrificed the family's otherwise perfect reputation. Meanwhile prof Viceheart picked up the coat recognizing it to be the same one that Braxton was wearing when he dissected the frog as he was one of the few who had watched him. Luckily on the tag it had an address. He went to the addressed place and knocked on the door. A tired looking woman came out and prof Viceheart introduced himself and asked the women if she recognised the coat, she said she did. He then went on to tell her that he thought her son had talent and that he was looking for a lab assistant and also asked if he was interested in that kind of job. The woman at the door told him quickly that she only had two daughters and slammed the door on his face. Braxton, from his window, watched the whole thing go down. He quickly made a decision and cut his hair (for real this time) with some sewing scissors and escaped out the window (still wearing the guys clothing) and followed prof Viceheart. When they were far away enough from his house he revealed himself and quickly fabricated a lie about his parents not wanting him to do science (technically true) and that his mother had lied about only having two daughters. He also revealed he had seen the whole thing go down and asked him about the job offer. Prof Viceheart and Braxton eventually came to the agreement that Braxton would be his assistant and as payment prof Viceheart would mentor him and let him stay at his house. Yay? Anyways Braxton still lives at the Viceheart's house to this day and the actual story continues from there.
I was bracing myself for the most mary-sue tragic-ass backstory under the sun but it's actually not bad. I can see why you want to rewrite it though since the parents are too overbearing and everything happens too conveniently but it's actually a passable backstory.
Other random info:
-Blair is the only other person besides Harriet that he is actually nice to.
Aww, that's a bit tropey with the "only nice to one person" thing but I think it can work. Also wouldn't he be nice to the professor? Or is it like he's a tsundere and respects him on the inside but treats him roughly on the outside?
-Literally everyone in the Viceheart household has made at least one joke about his height.
Lol that's cute
-He read frankenstein and wanted to see if he could bring a dead bird back to life (it didn't work.)
Aww that's also really cute
-If you're wondering what he's studying medicine and biology
- his parents are not evil, it was just the century they were living in, in fact his mother was very nice to him before this whole incident.
That is perfect. You utilized the setting so well to make conflict like this. I still know some people IRL who are still not up to date with social culture so it's even more realistic.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk
*loud aggressive applause*
Notes/things that help flesh out the character:
*since it was the 1850s this character doesn't know they have gender dysphoria, all they know is they prefer being referred to as male and like wearing more stereotypical mens clothing. (I feel like he's kinda in denial and saying he's doing it so he can pursue science and definitely not just because he likes being a guy.)
ooOOooOOOOOh I like that. Again good use of the setting.
*he doesn't hate Tommy even though he can be mean to him, he actually likes him in his own weird way.
yEs.
*I had this funny HC for a bit that Braxton glasses don't actually have a prescription and he just wears cos he thinks they make him look smarter.
Lol that's cool. Bonus points for character design.
* I think I need to update the ending....
It's not bad but if you have ways to make it better go ahead!
*his mother would have worried heaps when he left but didn't end up going to the cops in fear that the family's reputation would be ruined if they found out their daughter was dressing as a man.
*claps* yes. The mother didn't treat her child badly because she was simply a bad parent who was needlessly evil. She loved her child. She just bought into that century's ideals too much and cared too much about how others think of her. It's amazing how you even managed to characterize the mother in such a fresh new way.
Breaking down the character: (this is completely optional for you to read I just like overthinking my characters, sorry)
Nonono. No need for apologies. You bet your ass Imma check out even more.
For some reason, I can't figure out a way to put this on the form but I want to be able to explain the reasons for his personality traits because traits don't exist for no reason.
PREAACCHH
not wanting to display emotion: he has a general fear of being emotional because to him it shows weakness. He wants to distance himself from it because it shows weakness and doesn't want other people to see him as weak as they did before.
Makes sense for such a logical character.
trust issues: He doesn't trust society as a whole because in his eyes society is the thing that lets him down and so his mindset if you're part of that society you're going to let him down and he doesn't want to be vulnerable. He probably also has trust issues due to his anxiety and habit to immediately go to the worst possible outcome. Also due to the fact he has a pattern-finding brain and everything he reads or sees to him it feels like humanity makes over and over again. Also he doesn't want to open up to people because he's scared of what would happen if he did and soul-crushing the rejection would be.
He's a bit of an edgelord with the "Ugh society did this to me" mindset but if you changed his backstory I could see how it could work.
selfishness: I feel this also ties in with the trust issues and thinking he is the only one he can trust, he's also so tied up with what he's doing and his own mental health he often forgets to think of others or more accurately doesn't want to think about others. It also ties in with his ambition but i'll get to that in a second.
I like how independent he is. Makes for a strong mentality.
ambition: He feels the need to constantly prove himself because he has this weird gender complex because of how women are perceived in this universe and feels the need to prove his worth. So he'll overwork himself in a weird way to prove he is his gender, sorry if that doesn't make sense.
Asdfhjkl I love this. It works so well in the timeframe of the story.
Curiosity/inventiveness: he always been the type to question things, and why things are the way they are, he enjoys taking things apart and putting them back together.
Ahhh~ a truly scientific mind.
childishness: This ties into his selfishness and him being a little entitled shit, pinning to blame on someone else is a lot easier than accepting that you were wrong about something this also ties into his ambition and wanting to be the best and not wanting to be wrong, it also affects his pride and ego. Aka he doesn't want to be wrong about anything, ever.
I like it. Will make for some interesting scenes *and for the millionth time* good characterization.
Melodramaticess: This is also in his nature, he's not attention-seeking per se (well maybe a little) but it mostly due to him suppressing his emotions a lot and then it all coming out at once in one overdramatic 'oh woe is me'.
Kinda inevitable if you suppress emotions as much as he does. Will make for some dynamic scenes and dialogue.
Possessiveness: he's kinda like a dragon hoarding its treasure, he wants something to be his and his alone. Aka his that kid that you asked for a pencil and he just stared at you for a bit before visibly hissing at you and pulling his pencil case closer to his chest watching your every move before slowly backing away back to the dark corner from whence he came. And you're just left sitting there very concerned.
I feel so damn called out rn
Total:
9.5/10
Braxton is almost perfect. The only reason he isn't a perfect 10 is because I'm nitpicky. Just work on developing the rest of your world, making his design more unique, and further developing his personality.
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𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐥! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧!