Alice
"Momma," Logan says running to Kathy's side as soon as Nick opens the room door.
"Hello, son." She smiles weakly kissing the small boy's forehead. She always sounded so professional.
"How are you feeling?" Nick asks pouring her a cup of water and handing it to her.
"Could be better. Nicholas thank you for keeping an eye on Logan. Thank you." She says and I see tears glittering in her emotionless grey eyes.
"Of course you know how much I care for Logan and it wasn't just me it was Alice too... but I need to ask you something." Nick hesitates on the last part and I grab his hand to show him I'm here.
He looks down at me and I nod for him to continue.
"Why didn't you tell me I was Logan's Godfather," Nick says and Kathy looks down at Logan running her hand through his small blonde curls.
"I was going to wait until you got out of your parent's house. At the time it felt right to wait but seeing the circumstances I can tell you already found out. Now, are you saying you don't want to be Logan's godfather Nicholas?" She asks professionally.
"I do. I'm honored, thank you." Nick says wrapping his arm around my waist with the widest smile.
"Anything we could do for you, Ms. Larsen?" I ask helping Logan off her hospital bed when she winces because Logan was bouncing around.
"Dear please call me Kathy. And thank you for the offer but I'm fine. Just tired." She says leaning back and closing her eyes.
Logan grabs my hand and Nick quickly fluffs Kathy's pillow.
"Mommy you will be ok, ok," Logan says more like a demand.
"My boy I'll be fine. I love you, honey, now be a good kid and do what your godfather says." She smiles softly and Logan looks up at us confused.
"But I thought it was fairy godfather?" Logan looks more confused than ever and I can't help but laugh.
"Come on Logan it's 5 in the morning you need to get back to sleep," I say picking him up and walking to the couch in the hospital room as Nick continues to talk to Kathy.
Logan leans his head on my chest and snuggles closer before getting comfortable.
"I'm not tired." He pouts and I sigh. I pick up a book from the rack and open it. I begin to read Logan the children's story.
~~
It's quiet for a while as Nick sits beside me holding Logan as I tiredly read them the story. We were going to be here for a while and it was better to stay distracted.
Kathy fell asleep but kept going in and out of consciousness. Doctors came back in every few minutes to check her IV and the number on the screen next to her bed.
"Potty," Logan whines pulling at Nicks shirt.
Nick looks at me panicked and I laugh at his expression.
"Take him to the bathroom." I encourage and Nick sighs before standing up. He kisses my cheek and walks out of the room with Logan.
It's quiet for a few seconds and I close my eyes. I wasn't tired but just mentally and physically drained from the past 8 hours.
"Alice, dear." I hear from Kathy and my eyes shoot open in alarm.
"Are you okay? What do you need? Want me to call the doctor?" I ask quickly moving to her side and she shakes her head no.
"No, I just wanted to talk to you about something Logan told me awhile ago." She says and I nod unsure but move closer to hear her regardless.
"Logan told me that Nick told him you don't have a place to stay. And as much as I trust Nick with Logan, I don't want you staying in their house." She says not missing a beat and it takes me aback.
"Nick told Logan..?" I say softly trying to comprehend. I told Nick not to tell anyone.
"Alice, I'd like to offer you a place to stay, in my house." She says and my eyes widen.
"Oh, Kathy I couldn't. I don't have a job I couldn't pay my share of the bills." I list one of the many reasons.
She gives me a scary glare I'm sure she has used many times during her line of work. "The house is already paid for and has been for years. I make more than enough to pay for bills and I'm offering you a place to stay. I suggest you take it." She says raising an eyebrow at me waiting for my answer.
"I-" I go to respond but Nick opens the door to the room with Logan behind him.
"Mommy Nick bought you food," Logan says handing her the small meal.
I look up at Nick with worried eyes and he meets mine quickly. Logan is holding his own bowl of food and he runs to sit by his mother.
I feel Nick's hand on my shoulder and I look up into his tired eyes.
"Can we talk for a second," I ask him standing up and resting my hand on his waist.
His eyebrows furrow in worry. "Yes." He says but doesn't move and waiting for me to speak.
"Um... outside please," I whisper and his eyes look even more worried than before.
I look over my shoulder and Logan and Kathy are giving us the same blank look.
I hear Nick gulp and he grabs my hand and pulls me outside of the room.
As soon as he closes the room door his hands grab my hips and his cold eyes meet mine. It was scary to see. I haven't seen his cold eyes in forever. They were always so warm around me.
"What's wrong." He demands.
"Why did you tell them I got kicked out," I say feeling a little angry that he'd tell someone my secret even though Logan is 7.
He's quiet for a second and I narrow my eyes at him.
"I don't know." he shrugs and my mouth falls open.
"You don't know?" I scoff and take his hands off my hips. "That was my private information I trusted you with," I say.
I watch as his arms hang at his sides loosely showing they had no place to be if they weren't holding me.
I meet his eyes and they look really hurt. "Nick..." I say softly and place a hand to my head. "Kathy offered me to stay with them," I mumble and start to pace.
"That's good." He says hopefully but my shoulders slump.
"It's not good. I just- I can't." I sigh holding my head. I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm just scared to take Kathy's offer. I like them all and whenever I move in with someone I unintentionally ruin their lives.
"I don't know what I'm saying," I mumble. "It's just horrible that Brodie started all this with stupid drugs and now I need to find a place to stay and I just feel so alone sometimes," I say quickly. I've been feeling that way for a while I guess I was just too scared to admit it.
It's quiet for a second and Nick just looks at me. "Alice... you know how we promised to be honest with each other." He says quietly and doesn't meet my eyes.
I nod scared for what he's about to say.
"I gave Brodie the drugs. He put them in your room and I was the one who got you kicked out." He says ashamed and I feel my heart stop.
Nick got me kicked out?
"What," I say and the lack of sleep from the past 24 hours catches up to me and I feel my eyes tear up.
How could Nick be the one to ruin my only chance at a normal life? Mr. Micknealing said bad things would happen if I got kicked out and it's Nicks fault. No. No it's not nicks fault I love him and he's been through worse I'm okay this is okay I can fix this.
I sniffle. And suddenly Nick pulls me against him.
"I made you cry. I made you cry." He repeats brokenly in my ear and I feel my heart shatter into a thousand pieces when I push him away.
"I just need a moment," I state and take a step away from him.
He reaches his arms out again and I feel my anxiety rise.
"Alone!" I say much louder than I wanted to.
I watch as all his walls break down. Nick's arms slowly drop back to his side and he stares at me sadly. "Don't leave me, Alice." He says with hurt in his voice and I can't meet his eyes because I can see his soul through them.
"Well if you're going to break promises." I threaten not meaning it at all. I'm crazy, what am I saying to poor Nick.
I look around as a few nurses watch us. I quickly spin on my heel and rush down the hall.
"Fine Alice! I don't care!" He yells after me and I clench my fists at my side.
My words hurt Nick.
But I have every right to be mad... right?
~~
I slam the hospital bathroom stall shut and lock it quickly.
I lean my back against the door and try to catch my breath.
I start to panic when my breathing doesn't become even and my chest feels tighter.
My breath stutters as I slide down the stall door and hold my knees to my chest tightly.
Panic attack.
"Nick." I can't help but cry out. I hurt him.
But he broke my promise.
But I hurt him.
He broke my trust. And lied.
My thoughts ping pong back and forth and I fumble for my phone in my pocket.
It rings as I put it to my ear. I call the only people who'd understand.
"Tracy can you please get me." I whimper and she's quick to ask where I am.
I bite my lip as I hold my tears back. "Westfield Memorial hospital," I try to say calmly wiping my eyes with toilet paper when I can't continue to wipe my silent tears away with only my hand.