I was writing in my journal, we were on the plane and we're going to land in Florida at 3am.
A 17 hour flight..
ughhhh here we go.
I was sipping some red wine to ease my nerves, I've always hated flying, more so now.
I wrote some verses for a new song, trying to focus on that and not the constant turbulence we felt.
Lani was on my right, Demi to my left.
"Y/N. You don't need alcohol for everything." Demi chuckled nervously at me.
"Yeah. But it doesn't change the fact that I want it." I said sipping my wine.
I was writing, feeling Demi watching me.
"That's beautiful, Y/N." She said, looking at my journal.
I shrugged, focusing on letting the feeling go, instead of the lyrics.
"No, really. Y/N, you're really talented." Demi spoke, making me shrug again.
She sighed, going back to listening to the music playing in her headphones.
I put my journal away, leaning back in my chair and closing my eyes.
I woke up to someone lifting me up in their arms. I looked to see the jet black hair of Demi, and groaned sleepily.
"Shh Y/N, we still have an hour drive. Get some sleep." I heard her say, sitting down with me in her lap.
I realized we were in the car and fell back to sleep.
I woke up to Lani shaking me.
"We're home, Y/N." She spoke, making me groan.
I got up from Demi's lap, getting out of the car and helping Lani with our suitcases. Demi grabbed hers and we said our goodbyes.
She headed to her place and Lani and I went inside.
The house was silent, of course it would be, it's 4am.
I went upstairs to my room, putting my suitcase on the bed.
I couldn't sleep, deciding to stay up.
I heard one of the twins start to cry and I rushed over to the nursery, hoping that she didn't wake anyone.
Becky's stomach growled, making me sigh.
I slipped off my shirt, adjusting my bra before letting her latch on.
"Shh, princess. Mami's here." I spoke, rocking her from side to side.
"Y/N..." I looked to see Lauren standing in the doorway.
She looked sad, and tired, so tired.
"I didn't think you'd be home so early..." she spoke, her eyes on Becky.
"Yeah. Simon was going to extend the trip, but he didn't. Thank god." I said as I traced over Becky's cheek.
"The twins missed you. They wouldn't stop crying and fussing." She spoke, her eyes on the ground.
"Yeah? Well they're the first." I said, setting a sleeping baby back in her crib.
I fixed my bra, putting my shirt back on, pausing as Lauren stopped me.
"Demi told us, Y/N..." Lauren looked at my wrists.
She gently grabbed it, tracing over the scabbed wounds.
"Don't. Lauren." I pulled away, putting on my shirt.
She sighed, letting me go.
I went downstairs, searching through the fridge for a drink.
I needed something to ease my nerves.
I grabbed a couple of beers, going outside and sitting at the table on the porch.
I ran a hand through my hair, sipping the beer.
"Y/N. Drinking won't solve your problems." I heard Lauren's voice from behind me.
"But it makes me forget them." I said, taking a large gulp.
"Y/N...I'm sorry, okay? I...I shouldn't have hit yo-"
I stopped her.
"Don't. Just let me think, okay?" I spoke, looking out at the beach, the sun slowly rising.
She was silent, but I could still feel her gaze on me.
She sat in the chair beside me, opening up a beer and taking a sip.
My eyes were trained on the beach, how the waves crashed onto the sand.
"What are you thinking?" She spoke up.
I slid my notebook to her.
"Page 72. It's better if you just read it." I said, not taking my eyes away from the beach.
She opened the journal, flipping through the pages a bit before settling.
Would you bleed for me?
Lick it off my lips like you needed me?
Would you sit me on a couch?
With your fingers in my mouth?
You look so cool when you're reading me
Let's cause a little trouble
Oh, you make me feel so weak
I bet you kiss your knuckles
Right before they touch my cheek
But I've got my mind, made up this time
'Cause there's a menace in my bed
Can you see his silhouette?
Can you see his silhouette?
Can you see his silhouette?
And I've got my mind, made up this time
Go on and light a cigarette, set a fire in my head
Set a fire in my head, tonight
Would you lie for me?
Cross your sorry heart and hope to die for me?
Would you pin me to a wall?
Would you beg or would you crawl?
Stick a needle in your hungry eyes for me?
Let's cause a little trouble
Oh, you make me feel so weak
I bet you kiss your knuckles
Right before they touch my cheek
But I've got my mind, made up this time
'Cause there's a menace in my bed
Can you see his silhouette?
Can you see his silhouette?
Can you see his silhouette?
And I've got my mind, made up this time
Go on and light a cigarette, set a fire in my head
Set a fire in my head, tonight
Don't forget me, don't forget me
I wouldn't leave you if you'd let me
Hmm, when you met me when you met me
You told me you were gonna get me
Don't forget me don't forget me
I wouldn't leave you if you'd
And I've got my mind, made up this time
'Cause there's a menace in my bed
Can you see his silhouette?
Can you see his silhouette?
Can you see his silhouette?
And I've got my mind, made up this time
Go on and light a cigarette, set a fire in my head
Set a fire in my head tonight, tonight, tonight
Set a fire in my head tonight
I heard her sniffle, so I knew she was crying.
"So what, Y/N? You want a divorce? Is that what you want?" She stood from her seat.
"No, Laur-"
"I said I was fucking sorry! What else do you want from me?!" She shouted, tears streaming down her face.
"If you'd let me fucking talk, Lauren!" I balled my fist.
She took a deep breath.
"What do you want, Y/N....." she spoke in a much calmer tone.
"I want us to take some time to be apart. Not completely, but just to feel that want and need to be with each other. So that maybe, just maybe we can remember why we're married in the first place." I spoke, looking into her eyes.
"So, we just act like friends? No kissing, no touching?" Lauren spoke, making me nod.
"I...I don't think I can do that, Y/N." She sighed, running a hand through her hair.
"That's the point, Lo." I said, standing up and finishing the rest of my beer.
I tossed the bottle in the recycle bin, turning to go inside.
"For how long?" She said, her voice soft and almost....vulnerable.
"As long as we can go for." I said, walking inside.
Camila was awake, making coffee.
"Hey baby." She spoke, kissing my lips.
I immediately smiled.
I wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling us closer.
"God, I missed you." She breathed into my neck.
"Babe! That tickles!" I giggled, making her pull away.
That's when Lani bursted inside.
"GUYS!"