Of course I knew that our trip would be extended another day for my actions.
But since Simon is paying for it, it wouldn't be a problem.
After the first music video I made, of course I knew I'd always be followed by paparazzi, but I didn't think it would be this bad.
I was fighting through a crowd of paps and fans when I felt my anxiety spike.
I felt claustrophobic, and like I couldn't breathe.
I heard Demi's voice calling after me as I dropped to the floor out of instinct.
I hugged my knees to my chest, fighting to breathe.
"Y/N!" I felt her scoop me up in her arms, and I gripped her shirt, struggling to breathe.
She fought through the paps and soon enough we were back in the huge building.
Demi sat me down on the couch, making me look at her.
"What's wrong with her?!" Lani shouted and I felt the tears fall down my cheeks.
"She's having a panic attack. Lani go grab me a glass of water." Demi spoke and grabbed my hands.
"Y/N, baby look at me." Demi spoke, looking into my eyes.
She put my hand in front of me to see.
She pinched my finger. "You feel this? This is real, Y/N. I need you to focus on what's real. Those thoughts in your mind are just thoughts, they won't hurt you. I need you to take deep breaths for me. In and out...that's it." She spoke, guiding me.
"Good, Y/N." I started to calm down and Lani came back with a glass of water.
Demi handed it to me. "Little sips, Y/N." She spoke and I did as told.
My chest hurt and I saw how Demi looked at me.
Pity. Pity was all I could see.
"Don't look at me like that." I said as I looked into her eyes.
"How am I supposed to look at you, Y/N? This isn't your fault." Demi spoke as she traced over the sleeve that was covering my wrist.
I pulled my arm away. "Promise me you won't tell anyone about this, Demi.. promise me." I spoke as I looked into her eyes.
"I-I... I promise Y/N." She spoke as I showed her the slices on my wrist.
"God, Y/N..... why?" She teared up as she saw the cuts.
"Because I deserved it. I needed a release.... I felt that writing wouldn't help..." I said and looked down ashamed.
She grabbed my hand, holding it in hers.
"I want you to stop this, Y/N. It's not good, it's not healthy. Give me the damn blade." She spoke, like she knew I had it with me.
A sigh left my lips as I reached into my pocket, placing the blade in her hand.
"Are there anymore I should know about, Y/N?" She said as she looked at me.
"Y-Yeah... They're at the hotel..." I said as I looked down.
"When were done here, I want you to give me those too." She said and I nodded, nibbling on my bottom lip.
I went back into hair and makeup and soon was ready to shoot the video for Ghost.
We were shooting until 3am.
Once we got to the hotel I was exhausted and ready to crash out.
Demi gave me a look. A look that made me sigh.
I grabbed my suitcase and gave her the blades, ignoring Lani's confusion.
I laid on my bed, "I think you should stay with her, Demi... you know more about this shit than I do..." I heard Lani speak.
I just blocked them out as I shut my eyes, hoping for some sleep.
I soon felt someone climb in bed with me and felt fingers run through my hair.
"Oh, Y/N/N." She sighed. I felt her gaze on me but kept my eyes shut.
"What are we going to do with you...." she caressed my cheek.
I slowly fell asleep with her gentle touch.