Entering Suicide Chat Room
…
Waiting4time has entered…
Trouble101: We’re about to get wasted tomorrow!! I can’t fucking wait.
Thatguy93: I’m actually excited about this. But no sex at my house!
Trouble101: Well you’re no fun.
Waiting4time: I’m not going.
BeautyQueen: Why not? We’re all suppose to be there.
Trouble101: Yeah! What the fuck? I thought you were getting cool on me!
Xlonelygirlx: Come on Waiting4time, you have to come.
Waiting4time: I can’t, okay.
Trouble101: Did your mommy and daddy say no?
Waiting4time: Fuck you!
Trouble101: Calm down, I’m only kidding! Jeez.
Xlonelygirlx: Will you stop being such an asshole, Lane?
Thatguy93: Hey Simon I’ll pick you up. You HAVE to come.
Waiting4time: I don’t think that’s such a good idea…
Thatguy93: I’ll make sure everything ends up alright. Trust me.
Waiting4time: Okay. I’ll trust you.
BeautyQueen: Great! So everything worked out. I can’t wait for tomorrow!
-----
Hunter had left the other’s at his house to get it ready for his party while he drove through town to pick up Simon. He’d been meaning to talk to Simon for awhile and he felt that now was his perfect opportunity. He felt like an asshole for all of the things he’d put the kid through and Simon didn’t seem to hold it against him. For a while there Hunter was going to leave it alone since it seemed like Simon didn’t care anymore and he’d already forgiven him. But Hunter couldn’t die with that on his conscious. He didn’t want to be the jerk he’d once been. He wanted to die himself.
He pulled up down the street like Simon had instructed him to. It was going to be nine o’clock and as Hunter waited he starred up at the starry sky and weakly smiled to himself. It was the first time he truly thought about death and what would happen to him afterwards. He didn’t like to think about that type of shit because then it made him question his decisions. But Hunter knew in his heart that he was set on this. And he was prepared for whatever death brought to him.
He sat up when he saw Simon running down the street and into the passenger seat of his car. He was breathless and his cheeks were red from the cold. He had on his normal blue beanie and a large black jacket. Hunter was sure it kept him warm, but the party was thankfully going to be inside.
“Sorry, I took so long. I was waiting for my dad to fall asleep.” Simon glanced back as if to make sure his dad wasn’t running out of the house to follow him. “I’ve never snuck out before. You sure this is a good idea?”
Hunter nodded. “Yeah. I mean your dad doesn’t check up on you in the middle of the night, does he?”
Simon chuckled. “No.”
“Then you should be fine.” Hunter reassured him as he started up his car.
Simon smiled weakly as they drove in silence for a few minutes. Hunter wasn’t sure how to approach the conversation, but he knew that he had to. It was probably going to be one of the few moments he had alone with Simon before they died, and he wanted to make sure he did it right.
“So, Simon…There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”
Simon’s eyes went wide with fear. “W-What? Nothing bad, right?”
Hunter chuckled. “No. I just…” He paused for a moment, trying to look for the right words. But then he decided it was best to just say it. “I wanted to apologize to you for all of the terrible shit I did to you during high school. I was a real prick, I know and I-”
Simon interrupted him with laughter. “You were never a prick to me, Hunter.”
Hunter glanced over at him as if he was insane. “Are you serious? Do you not remember everything Allen, Chuck and I did?”
He sighed, staring down. “Of course I do. But you never really did anything to me. You just sort of stood there and laughed while the two of them tortured me. I never blamed you for that.”
That didn’t make Hunter feel any better. “I didn’t help you, though. I went along with it because I thought I was doing the cool thing. And honestly standing there and doing nothing is worse to me then actually participating.” Hunter sucked in a deep breath of air. “I’m sorry for that, Simon. I should’ve stopped it.”
Simon shook his head. “It’s okay. I never held that against you.”
“Why?” Hunter whispered in bewilderment.
He shrugged. “Because it’s human nature to want to fit in and be a part of something like that. I know you're not a bad person. It’s just society and peer pressure. Every person in that high school would be lying if they said they never succumbed to it like you did.”
Hunter knew he was right. He was relieved to get that off of his chest and he was even more relieved to see how much Simon understood. As he glanced over at Simon he could see it was one of the first times he had a smile on his face as they approached Hunter’s house. It made Hunter smile to see that he was finally doing the right thing.
“You ready for this?” Hunter asked as he parked his car.
Simon turned to him, his smile spreading. “I sure hope so.”
After leaving the car and walking through the cold, the two of them stepped inside to see the others had prepared all of the drinks. The moment they seen Simon, everyone cheered. Hunter laughed at the shocked expression on Simon’s face. It actually looked like the kid was happy for once.
“Whoo!” Lane shouted. “The party’s here!” He walked over and wrapped an arm around Simon’s shoulders. “Did I tell you guys about how Simon here helped me steal half of these bottles? It was fucking awesome.”
Tabitha glared. “If it wasn’t for my fake seizure none of that would’ve happened!”
Lane threw a dismissive hand at her. “Don’t listen to her. She just doesn’t like the spotlight taken away. Simon here was the true hero.”
Hunter laughed as he took off his jacket. “I need to hear about this one.”
-----------
Lane stood off to the side, nodding his head to the music as he drank a beer. It was barely ten o’clock and the party was crowded. It looked like more then half of the school had showed up. Lane knew he couldn’t be too surprised though given Hunter’s popularity and all. But as he stood there he couldn’t help but wonder where Tabitha had gone. She’d been acting strange around him ever since the day they stole from the liquor store and now she seemed to be avoiding him as well.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to find Archie at his side, smiling at him.
“Cool party, huh?”
“Yeah.” Lane murmured, his mind completely somewhere else as he scanned the crowd for Tabitha.
“Here, these are for you. They’re on me.” Archie said as he slipped a couple of pills into Lane’s hand.
Lane stared down at them, but for some reason he wasn’t in the mood to take them. Something was definitely wrong with him! Lane felt like smacking the shit out of himself for being such a damn party foul. What the fuck had this girl done to him? It wasn’t even about getting into her pants anymore. It was like he was possessed or some shit, constantly thinking about her stupid, lousy sapphire eyes.
“Aren’t you going to take them?” Archie asked loudly through the music.
Lane stuffed them in his pocket. “Maybe later. Hey, have you seen that girl Tabitha?”
“Yeah.” Archie laughed, pointing her out at the very end of the room, dancing by herself.
He couldn’t help but smile in relief at the sight of her having fun. She was beautiful when she danced. It was like nobody else was in the room. He knew it sounded corny but he could only see her as she ignored everyone at the party and danced by herself, smiling, her hair moving to the beat of the music.
“I just gave her like six pills. The girl swallowed them dry like a champ! It was fucking awesome.” Archie took a swig from his beer. “I’m totally going to fuck her tonight.”
“You did what?” Lane asked turning to stare at him angrily. “Are you fucking stupid? The girl overdosed on pills the last time she was at a party!”
He rolled his eyes. “Calm down. She isn’t going to overdose, these pills are weak. She needs a lot to feel the effects of them.” Archie stared at him strangely. “And since when do you give a fuck?”
Lane sighed, and ignoring Archie he began to make his way through the crowd to her. She was off in her own world, eyes closed, a beer in hand as she swayed her hips to the music. Even if she was high off her ass, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. The crowd of people on the dance floor was the only thing delaying him from reaching her.
Oh, yeah. There was one other thing stopping him. Jenny stood in front of him, eagerness in her big brown eyes as she stared up at him and began to dance in front of him. Her blonde hair was a mess and she already looked like she was wasted, although that didn’t surprise him much. Jenny was always wasted. He could never compare Tabitha’s pill popping to Jenny’s alcoholism because Jenny would always win by a long shot.
“Hey!” She shouted through the bumping music. “How come you haven’t called me back?” She smiled, pulling him closer to her by his jacket. “I’ve missed you! Are you avoiding me or something? I thought we had fun that one night!”
He sighed and removed her hands from him, staring over at Tabitha to make sure she was still there. “Yeah, we did. But I’m sort of busy right now, Jen. Can we talk later?”
Jenny turned around to see what he was staring at. When she saw Tabitha, she smiled. “Are you staring at that girl? She’s pretty. You like her, don’t you? You can tell me, Lane!”
“She’s just a friend!” He exclaimed, sick of having to convince it to everyone, including himself.
He constantly told himself that he only cared about her because she was just a friend. That’s all, nothing more. But Lane couldn’t help but get the feeling that he was lying to everyone, especially himself. He never thought about a girl as much as he did Tabitha. It was pretty annoying, actually. Is this what a crush was like? Because Lane had never had one before.
Just then Simon walked up to them. He too looked like he was already drunk, which made Lane chuckle. Simon looked confused and even a bit scared as he held a bottle of beer in his hand and was being thrown around by the dancing people surrounding them.
“What the hell?” He asked Lane. “What the hell am I doing?”
“You’re having fun.” Lane assured him, patting him on the shoulder then glancing over at Jenny who was smiling at the sight of him. “Hey Simon, this is my friend Jenny.”
Jenny shook his hand. “You’re cute.”
“Yeah, he’s a real cutie! He’s lots of fun, too. Why don’t you two get to know each other while I go over here?”
Jenny began to strike up a conversation with Simon while dancing with him as well. Lane smiled to himself, feeling accomplished as he finally reached Tabitha. He came up from behind and grabbed her by her shoulders, startling her and snapping her out of her crazy dancing. When she turned around and saw him she burst into laughter. But she didn’t stop dancing. She kept jumping around recklessly.
Lane grabbed her wrist, trying to stop her. “Tabitha, you feeling alright?”
“I feel amazing!” She exclaimed as she threw herself against him and stared up. “You’re so fucking cute, Lane!”
He smiled, not sure if it was her or the drugs talking. But he’d gladly take the compliment anyways. “Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself. Maybe you should sit down though and drink a glass of water, yeah?”
“No!” She shook her head, continuing to jump around ecstatically. She pulled him closer to her and gasped. “Let’s go upstairs, Lane. Let’s go upstairs and talk!”
Lane stared at her strangely. “Talk about what?”
“About everything. I want to talk about everything! Hey, do you have any more pills? I’ll buy some off you. These pills wear off so easily on me! I think I need another couple.”
“No, I don’t have any, Tabitha. I think six is enough for one night.”
But he knew that it wasn’t enough for her. The more immune a person was to the pill, the more they had to take to get the high they wanted. Even though Tabitha was high, he could see in her eyes that she wanted to be much, much higher.
“I’m going to go ask Archie. I’ll be back!”
She began to walk away but he grabbed her arm stopping her. “No! Stay away from Archie. He’s just giving you drugs to use you.”
Tabitha laughed. “I know that, I’m not stupid! I’ll use him right back.”
She tried walking away again but Lane kept his grip on her arm, not willing to let go of her. Tabitha sighed as she stared down at his hand on her arm.
“Come on, Lane. You’re beginning to kill my buzz. Lighten up, will you?”
“No. Stay away from him.”
She smiled and walked into his arms. It was almost an instinct for Lane to wrap his arms around her as she stared up at him, lust suddenly in her large blue eyes. It was the pills, he told himself quickly. That’s the only reason she was looking at him like that. But Lane couldn’t help but get swept up in it all. What the fuck was going on with him?
“Are you jealous?” She teased.
He looked away, annoyed. “No.” He said through gritted teeth. “You said it yourself, he’s an asshole. I just don’t trust the guy, okay?”
“Why?” She asked with a raised brow. “Because you care about me?”
Lane released his hold on her and backed away. “Stop it, okay? You’re driving me fucking insane.”
She yanked him back over to her by his jacket. “What did I tell you before? We can’t get too close. Let’s have sex. That’ll break all of this stupid tension between us. That’s all it is, I swear. Just sexual tension. Once we get rid of it we’ll go back to normal.”
He bit his lower lip, more then anything wanting to say yes and wanting to believe her. Maybe she was right, but Lane had had many sexual tensions between him and girls and it had never drove him this crazy before. So another part of him didn’t believe her. He was frightened that sex might make the situation worse.
“We can’t.” He said quickly, shaking his head and wanting to kick himself in the balls! “Or maybe we can. No! Fuck! We can’t. We can’t.” Lane kept telling himself over and over again, trying to regain some of the self control he’d lost from this girl.
Tabitha snorted, shaking her head. “I’m going to get a beer while you hate yourself.” She put her hands up in surrender as she backed away into the crowd. “Don’t worry. I’ll stay away from Archie.” She mimicked his voice dramatically before laughing to herself and disappearing into the crowd.
Lane smacked himself in the forehead. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” He wondered in disbelief, hating himself just like she said he would. He denied sex! Who the fuck does that?