It took some time before Amelia was at least a little bit settled, a couple of weeks to be exact. Polly had warned all of the Shelby children to leave the young woman be and to let her figure out her place. That meant no asking about what happened in London, no asking about the baby, and no asking about the father of said baby. Instead, they talked to her about the things they'd been up to. A very short list, honestly. After all, they were all in Small Heath the entire time. The only thing that really changed was the death of their mother and their ages.
Although, Amelia did notice change in Tommy. He was a bit quieter than he was as a young teenager. Not as loud or rambunctious. However, he was still passionate. Still had an enthusiasm for horses and guns. But there was something budding that she noticed as soon as he started talking about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Now there's a grocer looking for a shop-girl. I've just spoken to his wife and I think they'd be good employers. They know you're pregnant so they would make you do anything too taxing. Best you're not lifting anything too heavy." Polly said after sitting down with Amelia late one afternoon. "But if that doesn't work out, there's always work in one of the factories."
Tommy who was listening in took instant offense to Polly's suggestion. "She's not working in a fucking factory, Pol." He snapped protectively.
"She has a baby on the way, she's going to need the money." His aunt insisted. "Here you have to take whatever you can get, you know that."
"You know what happens in those shitholes. People lose limbs to the machines and the bosses don't give a fuck. They don't even pay 'em a decent wage." He spoke with such anger in his voice. It was obviously something he cared a lot about. And since none of the Shelbys worked in factories, she could only assume it was based on friends he knew. What she did know was Tommy always had a big heart and especially hated injustice. She could recall several instances of him raising his voice over things he didn't think were right or fair. On one such occasion, they couldn't have been more than ten, he stood up for Curly because a couple of kids were making fun of the way he talked. When they refused to apologize, Tommy jumped the biggest kid of the pack and broke his nose. After that, the rest of the group hurried off.
"I'm not disagreeing with you, Thomas, I'm just saying."
"She doesn't need to work; we'll take care of her." He leaned against the counter.
"That's very sweet of you Tommy, but I'm sure you all have enough on your plate. I really don't mind working." In fact, Amelia felt like she didn't have a choice. She could rely on the Shelbys for housing for a bit. But she wasn't going to take money from them. If Arthur Sr was absent then that meant Polly was probably trying to make ends meet for the entire household. With money from the odd jobs that Tommy and Arthur did, that would mean there was only enough for them. Amelia felt it wasn't her place to put more of a burden on the family.
"Well, soon we're going to have a betting shop. We'll make plenty of money and you won't have to work." He brushed aside her concern.
Polly threw a hand up. "This again..."
"Betting shop?" Amelia raised an eyebrow. It was the first she'd heard of the venture.
"Yep." Tommy nodded proudly. "Arthur and I have already been taking bets for races. We've saved enough to buy the place next door for practically nothing. The last owner got kicked out. We'll set it up as a betting shop."
"An illegal betting shop," Polly interjected. "No one with any good sense would give you two a fucking betting license."
He just shrugged. "Don't need a license if we don't get caught." He reminded her as if it were sage advice.
His aunt scoffed and rolled her eyes. "That arrogance will get you locked up or killed one day." She pointed a finger at him.
Amelia had to agree with her. "Do you think it's such a good idea?" She added.
"Maybe not a good idea, but it'll make money. We've already made more money this week than we would've made in a month. With a shop front, we'll make triple that." He was so self-assured that Amelia couldn't help but believe that he would make it happen one day. She never knew Tommy to be a quitter. That's why she worried.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luckily, the grocer hired Amelia to work the till at the shop. She fell into a nice routine fairly quickly. The hours weren't too long, but they kept her occupied which was godsent. If she was busy working, she didn't have to sit with her thoughts. The only time she worried about her future was at night if she couldn't sleep.
As she became more settled with her routine, she felt like she could open up a bit more. For the most part, she didn't say much when she was around the Shelbys. She engaged in conversation, but only to discuss what they were already talking about. She had no stories to tell. And it remained that way until Tommy began showing up to eat lunch with her a couple of days a week.
She'd take her lunch break with him by the back door of the shop, eating what Polly had packed for them that morning. They made use of the empty crates to sit on and use as makeshift tables. The alleyway was grungy and cramped but it was exactly what they'd grown up with. There was a time when Amelia knew the back alleys of Small Heath so well, she could probably run them blindfolded. They'd run through the pathways like obstacle courses, ducking beneath clotheslines, and leaping over boxes and trash. It was hard to really take in the dilapidated area when they were running so fast through it.
But at lunch, they sat, not really minding the smell like someone who was used to clean air might have. Amelia would give scraps to the cats that wandered around the neighborhood as Tommy talked. But it was hard to keep a conversation when only one person was really saying anything while the other simply agreed or nodded.
"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Tommy asked one day.
"What do you mean?" Amelia didn't meet his eyes because she had a feeling what he meant.
"What happened in London." He clarified. It had been weeks and Tommy was a bit worried about what she was keeping from them. Before she moved, there was nothing Amelia wouldn't tell him. She was absolute shit at keeping secrets. If he had been trying to keep something from Polly or his mother, he would never tell Amelia. Sometimes she hardly even knew she was blabbing the secret until it was out of her mouth.
Now she was closed off and hardly even acted like the same person. It made him a bit disappointed. He'd been so excited to see her but it didn't feel like how things used to be. Granted, they were older, but he assumed they would still have the same bond they had before.
Amelia chewed on her lower lip and kept her eyes on the sandwich in her hands. "I don't know if you really want to know all the details, Tom. I don't think it really matters anymore."
"Matters to me." He insisted. "I mean, if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. I just..." He shrugged. "You're just not like yourself these days and I wanted to know why. I wanted to know if you were okay."
It had been a while since Amelia felt like anyone truly cared for her. And she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with the idea that Tommy cared enough to really listen to her. But she still felt so embarrassed by the circumstances that had landed her back in Birmingham. So much so that it brought tears to her eyes. "I just feel so lost." She admitted after wiping her tears with the back of her sleeve. "I've felt lost ever since we left for London. I couldn't find my place there, no matter how hard I tried. I thought maybe coming back here I'd feel better but I don't. I feel like there's no place for me anymore."
Tommy set his lunch aside and stood up. "C'mon, you know you always have a place here." He tried to comfort her as best he could.
"It's not the same. I have no fucking idea what I'm going to do. I mean what am I going to do with a baby? I've got no family, nothing. What happens when he or she grows up and they find out the truth? God, what they'll think of me." She stifled a sob.
"C'mere, s'alright." He murmured and sat down beside her so he could wrap an arm around her shoulders. "You've got a family here, yeah? We're gonna look after you. I was serious about the betting shop."
"Tommy..."
"Things are changing, Mel." He said in a quiet but encouraged voice. "People aren't happy with the way this place is being run. We're not gonna let the rich walk all over us anymore."
She searched his blue eyes, at a complete loss. "What are you talking about?"
"There's a girl I met named Greta. She invited me to a meeting about unions. This could be the start of people deciding things for themselves instead of being bossed around by people. People who've never worked a day in their fucking lives." He spoke with such animation that one could do nothing but believe him.
"Tom..." Amelia sighed and let her chin fall to her chest, disappointed that she had to be the voice of reason. Disappointed that she had to dash his ambition. "I believe that you want to change the world. And I believe that if anyone had the ability to do it, it's you. But you can't just expect the world to turn upside down in a matter of days or even years."
He let his arm slip away from her shoulders. He wasn't angry, she wasn't the first person to doubt. But it was disheartening to know that she wouldn't be on board with the idea. He thought she might take to it, but it was an ideology that not everyone would accept.
"I'm sorry." Amelia bit her lip. "That was shit of me to say."
"No, s'alright." He rubbed the back of his neck and retreated back to his spot across from her. He balled up the wax paper his sandwich had been wrapped in. With a distracted aim, he tossed the ball at a nearby trash bin. It bounced off the side and rolled to the ground. But Tommy didn't get up to retrieve it.
"I just can't focus on the rest of the world right now." She frowned and rubbed her eyes. "It's all too much to begin with but to think of...revolutions and-"
"You think I'm mad then?" Tommy cracked a smile, drawing her eyes back to him.
A light smile played on her lips but she shook her head. "No. I think you're very well-intentioned. You always have been, always stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves. I just think you have high hopes for the world."
He shrugged. "Maybe. But if no one else does, then we aren't gonna solve anything."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before work, Amelia would walk Finn and Ada to school. This way, Polly didn't have to lug Finn along in the pram, instead, she could tend to him at home. She would hold Ada's hand as they made their way down the grimy streets of Small Heath. Neighbors would greet them and sometimes other kids would tag along.
John had a fondness for splashing in every puddle he could find and gawking at every car that might pass them by. He was taken by automobiles and always told Amelia that when he was older, he was going to have the biggest, fanciest, most expensive car ever made. She would just smile and nod. Who was she to tell him that people in Small Heath never scraped their way to the top? They were the forgotten ones of society. No one cared whether they had enough money to eat let alone enough money to ever own a car.
"Daddy's coming home for my birthday." Ada chirped to Amelia one day on their way to school.
"No, he's not." John retorted from a few steps ahead of them.
"John," Amelia said in a warning tone. The subject of Arthur sr. was very touchy, especially for the youngest of the Shelbys. Ada and certainly Finn didn't understand why he wasn't around. It was difficult enough losing a mother but losing a father so shortly after would be even more challenging. Amelia could have issues with her parents but she felt they weren't comparable to what the Shelbys faced. Especially at such a young age.
"Yes, he is, it's my birthday and he has to come home." Ada asserted.
"He didn't come home for my birthday." He turned to glare at his sister. "So why would he come for yours?"
It didn't take much to make Ada cry. Although the young girl was strong-willed and tried to be tough like her brothers, she had a sensitive heart.
"John, apologize to your sister right now." Amelia ordered.
"For what?" He shot back in a bewildered voice. "M'just telling the truth, she's acting like a baby!"
Ada burst into tears and shoved past them both, running the last block to the schoolyard.
"What an awful thing to say, I hope you say you're sorry."
John just kicked at a stray pebble on the street. "It's the truth. Mum said we hafta tell the truth, so I did. Dad don't care 'bout any of us." He shrugged and glanced the other way when a group of boys called his name. "She'll forget by dinner, Mellie." He promised and went to catch up with his friends.
Amelia stood in the street watching the kids all heading to class. An awful feeling settled in her stomach when she realized what she was up against in the coming years. A child asking who their father was. Where he was. Why he wasn't there. Would she take the brunt of the anger? Would her child blame her for their father being absent? It was just another thing to add to the pile of scenarios she had to worry about. One more thing added to the list.