14.
"You're joking, right?" I begin to laugh, reassuring myself more than asking him.
"No, I'm not. I don't joke, Jules." My heart pounds through my chest as I think about the things they could be doing to her right now. He was going to hurt me, and Bria is much smaller and fragile than I am. I was barely able to stand my ground, but Bri?
That's a different story.
"We have to do something!" I rush out as I try to stand up from my position, even though all I wanted was to lay here surrounded by the candles and fall asleep to the calming sounds of the night.
"Nope, you're staying right here." He softly protests while gripping onto my arm, pulling me down and back into him. "The boys and I will handle it soon, it's too dangerous for you to go at all, let alone by yourself."
I knew he was right, but that doesn't mean I was going to listen. Obviously I know what happens when I don't do what Harry tells me too, but we couldn't wait for something like this.
Who knows all the horrible things they're doing to her at this very moment?
I shudder at the nightmare like thought.
I have to get Bri as soon as I can, he doesn't know what it's like to be held captive.
I nod, giving him the impression I won't try and go after her. Maybe if I can just wait long enough until he falls asleep...
"Goodnight, Jules." He lowly whispers before encasing me back into his arms, and pulling me so close there wasn't an inch of space in between us.
"Goodnight, Harry."
-
I'm not sure how long I've been lying here awake, but I don't want to fall asleep. I'm hoping Harry is completely out because I'm going after Bri.
I know I keep getting myself into trouble- constantly trying to escape or get away from where I am, but I'm not escaping, after this past night there's almost an urge to stay.
I just can't deal with the guilt of leaving Bria all by herself, she probably has no idea what's going on. Harry's not going to like it, but he's going to have to get over it.
I've made up my mind then- I'm going to get Bria.
As slowly and quietly as I can, I stand up and grab my clothes, changing into them before turning around and gazing at Harry for a few moments.
The candles were still lit, besides a few that had been blown out from the wind, and they were giving Harry's face a beautiful glow, showing all the imperfections that made him perfect.
I knelt down next to him and kissed his warm cheek.
"I'll be back soon." I talk as quietly as I can to not wake him before standing up and walking towards the woods, over to Harry's car.
I'm not sure what I'm thinking, Harry's going to blow up on me for this.
I try to relax as I turn on the radio and start the car, trying to remember the way to Alec's place.
Let's hope I can make it there and not get completely lost.
I remember the general area of where it was, but I know I'll recognize more as I get closer.
Or at least I hope.
-
After driving for a while longer, I finally recognize where I am, confirming my assumptions.
It would be smart if I parked a bit away from the house so they don't suspect anything, but close enough so that if we need to make a quick escape we're able to.
I took out the keys and place them in my pocket, then open and close the door as gently as I can.
There were a few lights on in the house, so they must still be up.
I have no idea how I'm going to get inside without causing a scene, or even having someone see me.
I didn't really think it out- I guess I was just hoping for something spontaneous to end up happening like it does in the movies.
And luckily for me, that's exactly what happened.
There was an open window in the back of the house, and no lights were on in the room leading to it. It was the perfect entry, almost too easy.
Was there a catch?
I chuckle at myself for acting like I'm in some kind of action-drama film. I just need to calm down, do what I'm suppose to, and get out with Bria.
I better be quick though, because if I'm not Harry is going to kill me for leaving even after he told me not to.
Oh well.
I hunched over before running to the window, and looked inside before climbing in it- feeling the warmth of the house hit me as I placed my feet on the ground.
A light- I need to turn a light on since I can't see anything.
I begin walking around with my arms out in front of me blindly. I have no idea where it is, but suddenly the lights turn on.
Perfect.
Only- I'm not the one who turned them on.
My heart pounds in my chest as I turn around to see Tyler standing at the door, his hand still on the light, and he was looking as surprised to see me as I am to see him.
"Jules?" There's a hint of a smirk laced on his face. "You're a long way from home, love." He coos before coming at me and cornering me, leaving me no way to escape, except the window.
I sprint back and make it, but only to be pulled back in by my waist. He holds me tight as he starts walking towards the door.
"Please let me go, Tyler!" He hesitates for a few seconds, making me look up at him. His eyes are sympathetic, and for a brief moment I thought he was going to let me go, but my hopes diminish as another figure comes into the doorway.
"He's waiting for her." Another man says that I don't know the name of, and I can see the apologetic look wipe clean away from Tyler's face.
He takes his arms away from me and just grabs the top part of my arm, dragging me out of the room and into a giant one with nice furniture, a fireplace, and also Alec sitting on a couch, like he was waiting for me.
"Please, sit down." Alec smugly instructs me, and I take a deep breath before doing it.
"I knew you'd come after her." He says chuckling while the men around him sneer, causing him to give them a simple glare. That alone cleared the room faster than anyone or anything I've ever seen, besides Harry.
"So, let's talk, Jules. No games, no surprises, just you and me. And when we're done, you can get your little friend and go back to where ever you want. I brought her here because I knew you would come after her, and I needed to talk to you about some things, not because I wanted to hurt either of you." He says with a smile.
Like I'm going to believe that.
I must have looked like I wasn't buying any of his story, because he rolled his eyes.
"Don't worry, I'm not playing any games right now, I just want to talk with you." There's a strange silence, but thankfully he begins to talk again.
"You like him, don't you?" He flatly says, making it more of a statement rather than a question.
"No, I-"
"Don't even try to deny it and say you don't like him. I know you do, you know you do, fuck he probably knows you do." He interrupts me while I shift uncomfortably in my seat.
Does Harry really know I like him?
Wait, I don't like him- I can't.
"I want you to be careful."
He wants me to be careful? Who does he think he is? My father?
I scoff and roll my eyes, making him furrow his eyebrows and lean forward towards me.
"Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome, Jules?" He questioned while smirking.
My heart sank as the words left his mouth.
"Stockholm Syndrome is serious, Julianne. It's a condition where a person who is kidnapped, in this case you, is taken hostage, but along the road this person could begin to develop feelings for their kidnapper. Feelings that weren't there at the start of their encounters. Did you love him when you first met him, Jules? No, because this isn't real. None of it is. You're suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, and you don't even realize it. Do you know his back story? How many times has he beat you, raped you? Are you stupid enough to think he even likes you back?"
The questions were flooding through my mind and it felt like the room was spinning, I stood up and blinked a few times, hoping maybe I was in a dream.
"Stop! It's not like that, it's-"
"Did you actually think you could change Harry? He doesn't care about you, Jules. You're just another challenge that he wants to conquer. You mean nothing to him. He's a horrible person, and he's killed so many people, including his own father. He ruined my life, and I don't want the same thing to happen to you. I'm trying to help you."
I fell back down in my seat, and I stay there motionless for a while. All these questions were overwhelming me- Did I have Stockholm Syndrome? Did Harry actually kill his own father? No, he wouldn't have.
"What? Harry hasn't told you about his past? Well," he chuckles, "that will be a great story to ask him about when you get home. We go way back, you know."
I look at him with disgust written all over my face. I can't even look at him without feeling sick to my stomach, I need to get the hell out of here.
He stands up as he sees me growing flustered.
"Where is she?" I ask, my voice growing stronger with confidence as I stand up and am face to face with him.
"I didn't say we were done." He darkly threatens me and pulls me towards him, but it doesn't faze me one bit. I lean in closer to him until our faces are almost touching.
I grit my teeth and with all the courage I have left, speak with a strong and full voice. "I said, where is she."
We continue to stare at each other, our eyes filled with hatred towards the one right in front of us.
I felt scared under his strong gaze, but I wasn't going to back down.
He rolls is eyes and sighs, turning around. "She's with Tyler."
I take a shuddering breath and hold back a single tear as I walk into the room next to where we were sitting and see Bria sitting on the couch next to Tyler.
Alec's right, isn't he? Harry is cold hearted, and all he wanted was sex, he probably won't even care I'm gone if he wakes up.
I thought maybe he was changing, maybe he could like me or care for me.
'You're just a challenge that he wants to conquer.'
The feeling is like being punched in the gut, but should I have expected more from Harry, the notorious gang leader? The man who's killed people with his bare hands and has had more one night stands than he can count?
He loves no one and cares about no one, Alec was able to help me remember that tonight. All of this was just me going crazy- it was my mind playing tricks on me, and none of it is real.
Then why does it hurt so much?
I grab Bria and her face lights up at the sight of me.
"Jules! How the hell did you-" She sees the wetness covering my cheeks, making her confused.
I can't believe I gave myself up to him like that, so easily.
It felt so real, he had so much passion and I thought it was because he actually liked me.
I feel so dumb, but most of all embarrassed that I fell for him.
But there's always a chance it was genuine, right?
My mind and heart continue to go at war with each other as I storm out of the house with Bria trying to keep up with my long strides, and we get into the car and drive away from Alec's house for hopefully the last time.
-
I drive to Harry's flat after I drop off Bria at Niall's. Why try to avoid him if I'm going to have to face him sooner or later? I thought I'd save both of us the trouble of doing the usual routine of me escaping and ending up coming back anyways.
The sad thing is I was actually thinking maybe we were getting somewhere, me letting him take my virginity was a huge deal for me, but as Alec pointed out I was just another girl on his list. I wonder if he's going to let me go now.
Bria was very confused on what was happening, but it was too long of a story, and I don't know most of it to be honest. It seems like most of this revolves around Harry and Alec. I'm just mixed up in all of it.
So I just gave her the general idea and sent her to Niall, who was waiting at the door for her with worry written all over his face.
At least I know Niall likes her.
I sluggishly move up to the house, at the moment I really don't want to be here. Harry will probably be annoyed, and usually I would be scared, but at the moment I didn't really care. I'm still confused and hurt, I'm just not in the mood to deal with him.
I finally get to the door of the huge house I've learned to know and love, and I'm about to open the it but it opens before I can, and immediately the scared feeling, that should have been there, comes.
"Where the HELL have you been?!" He screams before grabbing me and hugging me so tight I couldn't breathe.
"I just went to get Bria." I reply with a strained voice since I could barely speak, and he holds me back but keeps his hands on my shoulders.
"You what?!"
Here we go.
"I told you not to, Jules! You could've been hurt, or worse. How many times do I have to tell you to fucking listen to me?" He groans while taking me inside and leading us towards the couch to sit down.
He's honestly handling this better than I thought.
"I couldn't just leave her there, I'm sorry. Why do you care, anyways?" The conversation from earlier about this being fake replays in my mind, and the hurt overpowers me- causing me to be rude.
"Why do I care?! Because I thought someone took you! I thought you were hurt!" His answer surprises me, but the sad feeling inside of me doesn't go away.
"At least your safe." He pulls me close to him and kisses my forehead.
His reaction is seriously surprising me, I thought he would've been exceedingly irritated.
After we sit in silence for a few minutes, him holding me against his chest , I speak.
"Harry?" I say quietly, hoping he doesn't hear me, but wanting to know the answer to my next question.
"Yes?" He replies while looking down at me.
I hesitate before asking, "What happened to your father?"
There was a long pause and it felt like all the heat had left the room, leaving Harry and I, and we were left with just a cold, empty space.
"I killed him."
His voice was flat and dry, he had no conviction saying it. He didn't care one bit, and that gave me an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Why?" I shakily wondered aloud, hoping the answer wasn't as gruesome as it could be.
"It started out a long time ago, my dad was the leader of the gang that I'm the leader of now."
I calm myself as Harry finally gives me answers, opening up is hard for him, and I feel special and honored that he's telling me on his own.
"He was disgusting. Worse than anyone, an absolute disgrace to any gang out there. He was constantly taking drugs, getting drunk, and doing things that should not be happening in a gang that could be successful and has so much potential. Alec's father was his rival, they were constantly getting into fights, it went on for years."
"One night my dad was drunk, like usual, and he went to Alec's house. He shot Alec's whole family except for Alec, killing them where they stand. He was a monster, and I hated him. I hated the way he treated my mother, I hated who he was. He kicked my mother out a long time ago, leaving only me and him, and it got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. She was the only one holding this family together, if you could even call it a family, but when she left things got much worse."
"He was bringing a slut home every night, getting drunk all day and all evening, I couldn't handle it anymore. Especially when he would get mad at me. So I shot him, and now I cleaned up everything he damaged, got new men, and now we're the most successful gang in the world. If he could see me now he wouldn't have done the things he's done to me, he wouldn't be that stupid."
He says the last few sentences with pride.
That explained why Alec hated Harry with a passion, Harry's father not only killed his family, but their families were rivals in their gangs.
The business does usually get handed down to your kids.
My heart ached with every word that came out of his mouth, he's had a horrible childhood.
My childhood wasn't beautiful, is anyone's?
But I couldn't imagine being in Harry's place- he's stronger than I thought. He deserves better than what his father gave him, if it wasn't for him Harry wouldn't be the way he is.
He'd be a normal 23 year old living in England, have a beautiful girlfriend and be going to college.
But because of his father, he's mixed up in all of this- and he will be for the rest of his life.
I hugged Harry, thinking he needed it since it was a touchy subject, but he shook me off.
"I don't want sympathy- I don't regret anything I did." He exclaims while standing up and walking into the other room.
I follow him like a lost puppy
"Then why does Alec want me?" My voice is vulnerable as I search his eyes for an answer when he takes a while to reply.
"He wants to take you away from me, since my father took everything he had."
For some reason, this story didn't effect the way I think about Harry. Usually when someone tells you they killed their father you'd be scared out of your mind, but not a lot of things have been scaring me lately.
"I'm sorry you've had a rough child hood, Harry. I-"
"I told you I'm fine, Jules! Just leave it alone."
That was the end of that conversation.
-
"DON'T DO IT! STOP IT! DON'T HURT HER!" Harry's rapid tossing and turning wakes me up, and again I wake him up by shaking his shoulders.
"Harry wake up! It's okay, it's just a nightmare." His eyes open and I can see relief in his eyes as he sees me, the sweat glistening at the end of his curls and on his forehead.
I knew his nightmare was about me when he said 'her', and the way he looked at me when he woke up.
I don't want to push on it now though, it's been a long couple of days and I just need a good nights rest, and I'm sure he does also.
"Did I wake you up?" He asks after I've almost fallen back to sleep.
"Yes, but it's fine."
He kisses my shoulder and tightens his grip around me.
The idea of Stockholm Syndrome is that the person being held hostage falls in love with their kidnapper or creates some type of infatuation towards them, but what if it isn't fake? What if Stockholm Syndrome isn't real, and every single person that is told they have it is actually deeply in love.
What if all Harry's wanted in life is to be loved, to have someone to care for and someone to tell him they care about him, to say he's absolutely crazy but to love him the same, to tell him he's beautiful and mean it.
All anyone wants is to be loved in life, and I'm realizing that on my own.
Some people don't admit it, but love is a beautiful thing and shouldn't be messed around with- you could damage some serious hearts, and hearts aren't easy to put back together.
Think of a broken plate, you drop it and it shatters, and someone tells you to fix it.
Sure, with the right amount of glue you can piece it back together, but those cracks will never heal, they will always be there.
-
"How did you sleep last night after you woke up?" I questioned Harry in the morning after we had both showered and changed for the day.
It was Louis' birthday, and since he was Harry's best friend we were going to celebrate it at our place.
"I slept fine." I could tell he was still tired, it was a long night for both of us.
There was nothing to do, so I suggest we take a walk on the old bike path to pass the time, it would be lovely with the sun rising up through the trees and the weather being perfect.
Surprisingly he agreed, he said he needed time to relax and 'clear his head.'
"Who was it about, Harry?" I ask while I swing our intertwined hands, shivering from the cool wind which was making it feel early in the morning.
Harry let go of my hand to drape his jacket over me, and I thanked him while putting my hands through the arm holes.
"I think we both know you know the answer to that question." He says with a smirk on his face as I watch him take a quick glance at me then look back up at the sky.
I didn't want to press onto the conversation anymore, so I just continued walking and focused on his rings on almost every single one of his fingers.
He's always worn them, now that I think of it, but I guess I just never acknowledged them.
They made his fingers look longer and leaner, his hands are much bigger than mine now that I pay attention to them.
He makes my hands look so small, but they fit perfectly together. Like we were suppose to be together, like this whole thing isn't based on me going crazy.
After we made the loop back to his place, we saw all of the boys' cars in the driveway so we went back in to be with them.
We opened the door to be greeted with smiles everywhere, and El ran up to me and embraced me in a tight hug.
"Hi, love. How have you been?" She asked in her cute British accent, making me smile.
"Actually, I've been doing wonderful." I grin while stealing a quick glance at Harry who's laughing away with Niall. "Much better than the last time I saw you."
She smiles before giving my hand a tight squeeze. "I knew you would be."
We slowly venture over to the couches and chairs, making small talk with the rest of the girls- including Bria.
It felt so weird to see her here with Niall, but it gave me a comfort I haven't had in weeks, she brought comfort and warmth everywhere she went.
I looked around to see everyone laughing, drinking, and having fun, which was nice to see for once. I look over at Harry who was standing in the kitchen with Zayn, and Harry was already looking at me with those beautiful, deep green eyes.
He waggled his eyebrows, making me grin, and winked before smiling back at me.
I could get used to this.
-
Harry's P.O.V.
I flashed her a smile which made her cheeks turn pink as she lowered her head laughing, and continued her conversation with Perrie.
I love it when I make her blush.
I focused my gaze back on Zayn, who was looking at me strangely.
"What?" I asked in a tone that sounded too harsh, which made him shrug his shoulders.
"You really like her huh, Harry?" He asks placing his drink down on the counter and looking at Jules with me.
"Like her?" I forced a scoff, which didn't sound very realistic might I add. "I don't like her."
"Sure you don't." He replies sarcastically while stepping into the view I had of her. "She's changing you Harry, and not in a good way. You're turning...soft. That's not what we need in the gang right now, it's already hard with all the things that are going on. We don't need you getting distracted by some girl." And he walked away without another word.
Is he being serious? I'm turning...soft?
There's no way- I can't be turning soft.
I'm Harry Styles for Christ sake.
I don't change for anyone, what the hell is he talking about? No ones changing me, and no ones going to change me, especially Jules.
Maybe she is trying to change me, she's told me before I could, but no one can make me a better person for that matter- I've done too many horrible things, I'm to far gone and not even worth "saving" since I don't want to be.
My head hurts as confliction arouses inside of it, and I go to grab a drink- something that will calm my nerves.
I can't change, I'm not going to let a girl that means absolutely nothing to me mess up everything I've become and done.
I brought all of my men here, I started from the bottom and worked my way up, and I'm not about to let all that get thrown away.
But does she really mean nothing to me?
I groan loudly before plopping down onto my bed upstairs, I need a few minutes to think.
All I can think about is her- her eyes, her smile, the way she laughs, and I begin to think maybe I actually am crazy. I need to get my mind off of her.
I think I'm going to need longer than a few minutes.
-
"Hey, Harry? You in here man?" Louis' voice fills my ears as I sit up on the bed, and immediately my head starts to hurt and the room spins. I'm completely wasted.
"Yeah, right in here." I slur while squinting my eyes and trying to focus.
The light hurts my eyes and my head throbs as I put down a bottle of liquor on the nightstand.
I hear him opening the door and he walks over to me, sitting beside me on the bed.
"What's wrong? Why are you up here?" He asks while examining my drink and placing it back down on the night stand.
I sigh and lay back down, covering my face with a pillow.
"I don't know." I explain then pause, trying to think about what to ask or say, but nothing comes out. "It's complicated."
"Well, do you want to talk about it?"
"No, Louis. I don't want to fucking talk about it." My words are muffled by the pillow, but still audible.
"Okay, Harry." He replies while standing up and walking over to the door.
It's so quiet I think he's gone, but then I here his voice again by the bedroom door.
"Just remember- it's okay to care about someone. All that matters is you and the other person, no one else." And with that, he left me alone to have my own thoughts eat me alive.
Come to think of it, maybe that wouldn't be so bad.
___________________
Merry Christmas to everyone that celebrates it!! :)
I hope you all had a wonderful day
And I know it's a little late, but happy 23rd birthday to Louis The Tommo Tomlinson, I love you with all my heart bud. Please, never lose the happy personality you always have, you're saving lives out there with just your smile. I know sometimes even superman has a weakness and goes through bumps, but I know you'll find a way through. Stay strong and stay young forever Peter Pan, you'll always be a kid to me💘
It switched to Harry's POV ;) I usually don't do that, but I need his point of view a couple times for the next few chapters. But it's only his POV when I say it is.
Oh and good news, I'm finally walking again. A month on crutches sucked, but I've been walking for about a week now and I've never appreciated it this much until now.
Anyways, thanks for reading, you guys are so amazing!!!
I love you all!