∞<3∞ Kim's POV ∞<3∞
[ The Next Day ]
"Yall are ready to go back to school ? " August asked the girls as we were walking through the back to school aisle in Walmart. Today was the first day of their last week of summer and since Cha was busy, she asked Aug and I to shop with the girls. Once again, I knew exactly what she was trying to do. Yesterday, during the baby shower, we hadn't time to really talk with everybody that was there.
That's why I said yes when Cha called me this morning also. I wanted to spend some time with him. Last night, I couldn't stop thinking about him and our relationship. I even dreamt about him. I realized that actually I was trying to ignore the strong feelings I felt towards him more than anything else. But I was confused and scared also. Aug was making me feel some type of way, but...I don't know. I thought that I was moving on since New York, but I wasn't going to recover in a snap.
Or maybe I was thinking too much and should just go with the flow.
I shook my head to make all the thoughts go away. It was starting to give me a headache. I really didn't know what to do with Aug though. One part of me wanted to be with him so bad, but another part was holding me back for some reason. I knew and he said that he won't hurt me, but people promise something and one minute later they're doing the total contrary. Three years ago, he promised me to be a better boyfriend and to give me more attention and I believed him. He kept this promised for a couple of days and then the old Aug was back and I was passing after everything and everybody else. I didn't want to go back to that. But I couldn't stop loving him.
I was so lost.
"Auntie Kim, did ya hear me ? " Kay asked snapping her little fingers in front of my face. I blinked getting out of my trance. I didn't even know that I got into one.
"Uh...No, sorry. What did you say ? "
"I don't know which one I want. This one ? " She showed me a Hello Kitty backpack, "Or this one ? " This time she showed a simply pink backpack.
I looked at the both, "Uh..." I pointed the Hello Kitty, "It's cute."
"Yay ! Thank ya." She ran towards her sisters who were choosing their pencil case and all they wanted to have in it.
I smiled, "You're welcome."
Aug came towards me, "Are ya okay ? Looks like ya are..somewhere else." He asked concerned.
I sighed, "My mind has been busy lately, that's all."
He raised his eyebrow, "Busy, huh ? Do ya want to talk 'bout it, maybe it can help."
I looked at him playing with my fingers nervously, "Uh...I was thinking about...everything, to be honest. My life keeps changing all the time, I don't know...what to think anymore. I'm...lost as you can see."
He nodded his head, "So...this break...Uh...I mean between us...was unnecessary ? "
"I can't answer, Aug, because I don't know. I don't know what I want and what I really need. I'm confused and all over the place, once again."
He looked down at his feet sadly, "Sorry. I keep asking ya 'bout our relationship and there are others things to worry 'bout. I keep acting selfish.."
I could feel the tears coming. I was hurting him so much, "August, maybe...Uh...maybe...you should...move on..." I began trailing off.
He looked up at me in shock, "What ?! "
I sighed searching the correct words to use, "I...It's selfish of me to make you wait like this ! You deserve to be happy and I'm preventing you to be. I love you and you love me, but...it's so complicated, Aug. I'm hurting you by making you wait. Even if you're not telling me, I can tell. And I don't like to know that. Sometimes...you have to let the person you love go, because it's what you have to do. It's for the best, Aug. It's for your own well-being. I want you to really be happy and if for that, I have to let you be..." It was hard to say that, "...with someone else, because...I feel like you won't find your happiness with me." I was trying so much not to cry.
I could see water in his eyes too, "Ya...ya really want to give up on us ? "
I shook my head, "I'm so confused.." A single tear fell, "I don't know anymore. I have to go. Say bye to the girls for me." Before he could grab my arm, I ran off.
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"Aww, honey. Why are you crying, baby ? " She sat on the edge of my bed and caressed my back to comfort me.
I was laid on my stomach, crying all the tears of my body since two hours. I felt all types of strong emotions at the same time, I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. Why life couldn't be easier ?
"Something happened with August ? " She asked making me looked up and turned my head towards her, then I nodded my head. She motioned for me to elaborate.
I took a napkin and blew my nose, "Ew ! " She exclaimed playfully, "Well, tell me ! " I sat up, sniffed and told her what had happened in Walmart. Once I was done, she pinched my arm.
"Ouch ! " I screamed completely taken by surprise, "Why did you do that for ? "
"Girl, you better stop playing, clean your face, take a shower, put a sexy dress on and go make love with that boy ! " She said causing me to frown.
"What ? "
She sighed, "Kim, you're in love with August and you go and tell him to find someone else ? Are you stupid ? "
I pouted, "That's not what you're supposed to say ! " I whined like a baby.
"Listen, I'm your mother and since I gave you birth, you know I'm here whenever you need me. I'm trying to guide you as much as I can in your life and if for that I have to be a little hard on you and hurt your feelings, then it will be." She wiped my eyes, "Baby, stop asking yourself all these questions about you and him. Should I get back with him or not ? Stop all that, just listen to your heart. For once, stop thinking and simply go with your heart. Love is not supposed to be logic, always remember that." She said putting her arm around my shoulder and she brought me into a warm mother hug.
I smiled a little, "So...I should get back with him ? "
She rolled her eyes, "Daughter, what I have just told you ?! Were you listening at least or was I just talking to talk ?! " She questioned getting angry.
"Okay, okay, sorry. I'm going to listen to my heart. But it's not that easy."
"I know. And it's not always healthy to go with the heart, but it's another lesson for another day. I have to get ready for my date."
I raised my eyebrow, "What ? Who is he ? And since when you started dating other people ? I thought you were...in love with dad." I asked frowning.
She beamed, "Of course, I'm still in love with your father. I had been all my life. But, I have to move on. Well, better later than never, but you my love, I won't let you waste time like your old mother. You and August are meant to be."
I grinned, "You're not old mom."
She blew me a kiss, "I raised you well." I chuckled shaking my head. I hadn't a huge family, but I was so grateful for my mother. Without her, I would be nothing today.
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"I'm going ! I don't know if I'm coming back tonight, so don't wait for me. And at least call him since you didn't go to his house. Daughter, you're so stubborn ! Thanks to your father, well I don't know if we could really thank him for that. Oh ! A letter, there is a letter for you on the counter in the kitchen. Wish me good luck."
I smiled, "Good luck, you're fab ! " I complimented her.
She winked at me, "Thanks ! You are too, even in this pajama. Must be the Johansson's good genes. Love you, baby ! "
"Love you too mummy ! "
I sighed and decided to take a shower. I went in my bathroom and stayed under the hot water for almost one hour. Once I was clean, I hoped out and dried myself, then wrapped the towel around my body to go in my bedroom. As I was searching for something to wear, the doorbell suddenly rang. I frowned wondering who could be there at nine in the night. I had invited nobody and my mother was out, so I didn't know who it could be.
I quickly ran downstairs and went in the kitchen to take a knife in case I will need it. I took a deep breath and walked towards the front door. The person rang again making my heart speed up. I turned all the lights off on my way there and then looked through the peephole. I was relieved once I recognized August.
But was he doing here ? I was panicking again, "Uh...One minute please ! " I yelled, so he knew there was someone and I was going to open the door. I ran back in the kitchen to replace the knife at its place and then ran back to the front door. I cursed once I realized that I was just in a towel.
I rolled my eyes and finally opened the door. And there he was standing before me looking awesome, "Hey." He greeted with a little voice.
"Hey." I mumbled, but loud enough for him to hear me.
"Uh...I know...ya..." He stopped talking staring hard at me. Then, we made eye contact. It felt like the time had stopped too. Like we were alone, in our own world. He walked towards me as I backed away. Then he closed the door behind locking it in the same occasion.
"What...are...you...doing...here ? " I could feel all my body reacting a certain way to him being so close. He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned in causing our lips to touch. Then he delicately unwrapped the towel and let it fall on the floor, never breaking the intense eye contact.
"I love ya Kim and I can't be happy without ya." He whispered in my ear, then kissed my lips passionately. I instantly kissed back and soon both were expressing our feelings towards each other without talking.
Love is passion...
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Let me know what you think about this chapter =)
A/N: The part.5 is coming soon :) We're going to the end of the story, slowly but surely.
Dedication goes to @babz22 ! Thanks so much for reading my book, I really appreciate your support. Thanks xoxo
PS: WP privatized the next part. To be able to read it, delete the book from your library, follow me, then put the book back in your library and I hope you'll enjoy the chapter :D
Thanks for still reading guys !
Sorry for the mistakes.