Wallie P.O.V.
"I left for a while," Soran adds and although there are no tears, I know it has nothing to do with not wanting to cry, but more so with having cried so much that there are no tears left. That's alright, I'm crying for him.
"I didn't care about people, feeding when and how I wished, uncaring if they died or not. I became the vampire that made humans cower in the night. I traveled in search of the knowledge Aeven shared with others, destroyed it and any who knew it when found. Vashna was without me for about sixty years. I couldn't--" Soran's hand trembles.
"I couldn't be here, so I just paid some to care for the estate and my business' while I saw the world. But time kept passing and the world changed while I stayed the same. It was exhausting, and I hated that I didn't belong anywhere or to anyone." Then Soran sits up, heaves a great breath, and wears a sad smile. "But I realized that, out of every place I visited, this is the only one that still felt like home. Although I lost them here, I also gained them here. Kailyn sang to me here. Lamaria taught me here. Josette, Jeyton and Annalee were born across the hall. We played and I read them stories, all of that in this place. If I had to be anywhere, I wanted to be here. My family was taken from me, but I wasn't, and I'm not, about to let anyone take our home too."
"A childish thought, don't you agree?" asks Soran, snorting when all I can do is shake my head in response. His sad eyes bore into my own, tearing away at my chest that aches as the words lodge in my throat. "I can't tell you how many I've killed in my life, Wallie. I can't tell you how many lives I've ruined because there was a time where I really didn't give a damn...honestly, there are still moments now where I don't care. I'm sometimes too tired to care. Being what I am, there are consequences that others cannot even begin to fathom and for you, one that others will see I care for, those consequences will become yours as well. You've seen that already, felt the wrath of others. Do you want that? Is it a fate you can face and accept?"
That's a heavy question, one that Soran has been attempting to make me realize for some time now. While I've always known Soran's past to be deep and filled with horror, I never could have imagined the truth. Even now, he has only shared the first 70 or so years of his life when there are still 1500 more that are likely similar. Bitter, angry, sad; they are emotions that none can deny Soran deserves to feel, and yet my answer remains the same.
"It's a little late to be asking that now, isn't it?" I attempt to tease with a smile that he doesn't return. "You said it yourself, these feelings aren't going anywhere. Your past doesn't change that for me either. Call me naive if you wish, maybe even a fool, but you're stuck with this fool."
At least that earns a half smile, one that disappears as quick as it came.
"I'm so sorry about what happened to them, to you and your family. Neither you or them deserved that sort of suffering. I know my words don't really mean much--"
Soran interrupts, "They mean more than you think. I appreciate it, your words and you listening."
"I'll always listen, whether it's a memory of your past, troubles of today or tomorrow, I'm here for you." I'm happy that Soran responds to my smile with one of his own this time. He grips my hand so tightly I fear it'll bruise, but I don't pull away because I honestly believe Soran needed to hear that.
How long has he been alone without someone to be by his side? How long has he not spoken of the past? As terrifying as it is, there are moments where he probably needs to get these horrors off his chest and I'm willing to do what I can to help.
"You're one of a kind, Wallie," he says while wearing that smile. "Sometimes I question how you can be."
"Some of us are just born with a natural advantage, I guess," I tease, grinning at the chuckle I manage to get from him. "Thanks for telling me. I know it must be hard to talk about."
Soran slowly nods. I scoot a little closer. He raises a brow then stiffens when I lean in for a chaste kiss.
I smile at his shocked expression, eyes blinking rapidly like he honestly didn't believe I'd go in for a kiss. Maybe he didn't, maybe deep down he thought I was repulsed, who really knows. But the kiss is enough proof for Soran seeing as he leans in for another. A kiss as exciting as the first with his hand reaching up to caress my cheek, the gentle touch of a supposed monster.
When we pull apart, Soran brushes the hair from my eyes. His hands are cold; the touch is nothing but warm though. His fingers continue to play with strands of my hair, a sensation that I hope to feel time and time again. I could get used to this, could drown in these little moments with him, and if that isn't hopeless then I don't know what else is.
"Sorry to linger on serious subjects, but did you know them?" I end up asking. "Those that captured me. You knew Allvar's name without my telling you so, who were they and what did they want?"
Soran scowls at the mention of Allvar's name. His eyes darken, but he responds immediately, "Allvar is the War General of Leschandeal, a renowned warrior working for Emperor Rico Pihre. Unlike the Baylor's, the crown of Leschandeal does not crave immortality and power, at least not that of a vampire. While the Baylor's have gone back and forth between wishing to know more and wanting nothing to do with those like me, the Pihre's have stood firm in their belief to rid the world of vampires completely. They used you as bait to get to me, hoping that their ritual would result in my capture, at least in a paralysis like the Baylor's put me in before. Obviously they did not succeed."
"But they'll try again?"
"Not anytime soon. I've dealt them a heavy blow, proven their work has been for naught, but eventually they will return."
"Why didn't it work? The spell, I mean."
"Because all the truths the Baylor's once had were destroyed by my own hands. They have theories that they must test and hope they don't fail. This time they were confident when they shouldn't have been."
"Why let them?" I ask, causing Soran to raise a curious brow. "If they continue to test, will they not one day find the answer?"
"What would you have me do then? Kill all the royals of Leschandeal?"
That is a good question that has me pursing my lips. Soran chuckles, dropping his hand from my hair to fall into his lap. His eyes are heavy, blinking slow like he's fighting off sleep. I imagine he is. After what has happened, he must be exhausted.
"You remember what happened in Isabe, don't you?" He asks. "Those that stole from my company, how I punished them, because at this point there is nothing else I can do. I've tried diplomatic approaches and I've tried committing heinous acts that have gone down in history and yet still no one will leave me alone. Maybe you should be the one calling me naive or a fool, but I don't plan to be like Karsissia and butcher everyone, treat them like nothing more than dirt. Besides, should their knowledge grow to the point that it is worrisome, trust that Karsissia will handle them."
Speaking of the other vampires, although Soran is tired, he's actually answering my questions so I go on to ask, "What about Karsissia and Quelen?"
"Hmm?"
"Why didn't they help?" I gesture outside the window. "Janika, you said she is Quelen's familiar. Why didn't either of them come with you to help?"
Soran actually laughs, but it is no way amused. He shakes his head when responding, "Trust that you would be in more trouble had they come. Karsissia and Quelen could be considered friends, in a manner, but the three of us together are nothing more than comrades. We happen to all be vampires and agree that we don't want more to be created. Neither will help unless it benefits them in the long run." Soran nods towards the window. "Janika even, I only got Quelen to agree because he owes me a favor, otherwise I would have gone in completely alone."
"What about Malatis?" I ask, going wide-eyed at the memory of the creature. I believe it was Nawa that mentioned he was alive, but he could be lying. "He's alive, right?"
Soran thankfully nods. "Returned to The Veil. I will have to keep my strength up considering the situation now so I will summon him another time. Do you have more questions?"
"Plenty. They seem endless."
"Hmm."
"But I guess, instead of a question I'll make a request. Will you teach me to use magic?"
Soran is taken aback enough that he actually leans away.
"I doubt I could stand up to a war general or a high priest, but if I can learn some defensive spells at the very least, wouldn't that be helpful for the both of us?" I give a hopeful smile.
I'm surprised Soran doesn't take longer to think about it when he responds, "It certainly wouldn't do any harm, so long as you understand that even after learning, you must run. Those that come here, that want to harm me and therefore you, they are more skilled, have more training. Any defense you learn can be easily broken so use it as a distraction, do not expect to defeat them."
Even if I know he's right, I can't deny that stings a little. I want to be more. I want to be able to defend myself fully against an attack so Soran won't have to do all the work or continuously worry. That will take time though, if Soran is willing to teach me then I'll go all in. I'll work until I can at least put up a fight, so I'm not dragged away with ease. I won't be useless. Never again.
"You should rest," I tell him, watching how his eyes are truly struggling to stay open. "When you're feeling up to it, you can teach me a few tricks."
"It's been a while since I've taught anything. I may be a tad rusty."
"I've never been taught magic so we can struggle through it together."
Soran snorts. "What is my payment then?"
"Huh?"
"A teacher should be paid, should they not?"
"Wow, is that how this is going to be?"
Soran hums, his eyes blinking slowly with exhaustion. I shout in surprise when he pulls me into the bed with him, the sheets twisting around my legs. My heart is hammering in my chest when his arms coil around my waist, face burying itself into the nape of my neck. His breath is hot, or maybe that's only me. I have no idea as the breath catches in my throat, as my entire body shivers feeling him against me.
"Consider this the first payment," he whispers, pressing a kiss to my neck, one that has me squirming in his grasp. He must find amusement in it because he chuckles. "Stay here and rest with me."
I don't know if I can rest when he's this close. How the hell am I meant to sleep when he's surrounding me? Soran's bedroom. His scent. His body on mine. His arms around my waist. Every breath tickling the hairs on my neck. My toes curl in my socks and my legs squirm until he entangles them with his own. I never believed Soran to be a cuddler, but damn it, I both love and hate that he is! This is exciting and embarrassing all at once, damn you!
"Is it alright if I stay here?" I mumble. "If I don't return to my room, others may suspect."
"You were just kidnapped, rescued by me, and immediately brought to my room. I believe it's safe to assume, others already suspect."
"And that is...ok?"
"Were you not the one adamant that we will not run from these feelings?"
My entire body is probably red with a blush. When Soran says it, it makes them all the more real, as if they weren't before.
"Well, yeah, but...you were avoiding it a-and suddenly we're cuddling."
"Does that bother you?" he asks, about to pull away but I swiftly grab his arms, locking them in place.
"No!"
I feel Soran's smirk against the back of my neck.
"I'm only saying that you've changed your mind rather quickly," I grumble, rubbing my fingers against his skin. I can't say that I haven't imagined us like this, but no dream could possibly live up to the real deal.
"My worries remain," he says with a heavy sigh. "I wish I could promise your safety, but I am not foolish enough to do so."
Understandable and, oddly enough, that doesn't make me feel bad.
"I can't say that I'm entirely comfortable either. The idea of others knowing, although it's obvious they already do, frightens me. I've seen cruelty, felt it myself, fear the same being done to you. Unfortunately, the only consolation I can give is that, should it happen, I will return the favor a thousand times over." Soran's hold tightens, as if he's attempting to apologize for the future he fears. I gently stroke his arm in response until the tension eases.
"Rather than only fret, rather than deny and cause us both more pain, I do agree that at least this way we have each other," he adds, only worsening my full body blush. "This puts me at ease."
"This? You mean cuddling?" I tease, hoping to lighten the mood, which works judging by his chuckle.
"If you continue to tease, I will stop."
"Oh no, we wouldn't want that."
He attempts to pull away, but I quickly turn in his arms. He's wearing a soft smile, one now pointed at me, one that I easily return. I wrap my arms around him, resting my head on a shared pillow. Although his eyes are pure crimson, a red most would find frightening, I only see them as warm. An almost soothing fire that never burns, only holds me in a warm embrace.
Soran kisses me, holds me close, presses another kiss to my cheek and my forehead while all I can do is blush. He must notice this but says nothing, only breathes in a slow breath, as if physically taking in the moment. I do the same when snuggling beneath the blankets with him.
Here, exhaustion sets in. Suddenly all that has happened has hit me hard and I, too, feel the urge to sleep. That sleep takes me only moments after the sensation of Soran's fingers combing through my hair.
♱♱♱
YOU ADORABLE SACKS OF GARBAGE! *flips table* THE FLUFF WAS NECESSARY OK?! EVEN I WAS CRAVING SOME lol but yay for Wallie finally knowing the truth? And yay for Soran agreeing to teach him to use magic? :D Our boys are back and better than ever because there's no more pretending like there aren't feelings, y'all are hopeless and I love it~