"There are betrayals in war that are childlike compared with our human betrayals during peace."
― Michael Ondaatje
chapter 24
"Sweetheart," Bar says, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he glances over at Clementine right as he parks the car in her rather long driveway.
"Y-yes?" Clementine narrows those gorgeous as fuck eyes at him and Bar almost, almost doesn't say what he was planning to.
But he couldn't help himself.
"I'm jealous of your heart. It's pumping inside of you and I'm not."
The little goddess blushed and stuck her tongue out at him, telling him to shut up with a rather squeaky voice.
Cute.
Bar chuckled, enjoying the way heat bloomed onto her cheeks and stained them red.
And he liked that the blush distracted him from being so goddamn nervous.
Bar was scared that the little goddess's siblings wouldn't like him— he was almost certain that they wouldn't.
Obsidian didn't and Bar absolutely didn't blame the guy— after all the brute had done to the little goddesss in the past, it was a miracle that Clementine didn't hate him, much less that she was his girlfriend.
"Oly," Clementine bumps her shoulder into Bar's bicep, which made heat spark through the brute and for him to look right into the goddess's eyes. "Why do, why do y-you look so scared? Because you're about to m-meet my dummy siblings?"
"Yeah," He says.
Scared might not be the best word for it.
Scared is when he used to come home to the smell of whiskey on his father's breath every evening. Scared is not knowing where Gwen was or knowing where she was and her not being safe. Sacred is the sound of a beer bottle shattering at four in the morning. Scared is the adrenaline that pumped through him every time his father called him. Scared is cutting too deep by accident and having no one to help you.
Scared is the feeling he got every time he saw his father but the word 'scared' just didn't cut it anymore.
It felt overused.
Paralyzing worry. Toxic thoughts. Overthinking-produced numbness. Anxious jitters.
Those fit better.
"You're s-scared of them?" Clementine looked fully at Bar as he parked the car. "But why?"
Bar blinked as he looked at her.
He's afraid she won't like him anymore if they don't. He's afraid she'll see him how his father sees him and how he sees himself. He's afraid she'll replace him with someone better, someone easier to love and that he's going to lose her. He's afraid someone will come along and she'll realize they can make her happier than Bar ever could. He's afraid of losing the little goddess.
He's afraid of so many things and doesn't know how to say them all.
"First impressions are key," Bar said instead. "I don't want them to think I'm some stupid ass who can only think with his dick."
It's easier to downplay fear than to acknowledge it.
"I've, I've talked enough about y-you that they won't think that." Clementine confidentiality told him, unlocking her door, tugging on his hand.
Bar, slightly shocked, raised an eyebrow, "You talked about me?"
Clementine looked at him like he was crazy.
And Bar had to admit that he was a little crazy but not enough for his goddess to be looking at him quite like that.
"You took m-me on the cutest date ever to a, a place full of butterflies," Clementine explained. "Of course I-I talked about you."
"All good things?" Bar leaned towards her, his dark eyes settling to look at her pink lips— lips he wanted to kiss. "But if you have been telling them bad things, I wouldn't mind. It'd be accurate because I definitely want to be bad right now."
"Bad h-how?" Clementine asked and Bar saw how those gorgeous eyes sparkled up at him mischievously.
Fucking tease.
"Like pulling you onto my lap right here, right now, and giving you a toe-curling kiss that'll make you wet and wishing for more."
"That doesn't s-seem bad to me," Clementine flirted back, a cute grin on her face that showed off her freckles. "As long as, as my wish would c-come true."
"Damn," Bar chuckles, placing a small, sensual kiss to her neck. "Look at you, babygirl. Getting all smooth on me. My behavior's rubbing off."
Gasping in mock offense, Clementine points a dainty finger at Bar, "You're t-turning me into a pervert!"
"You're a cute pervert, so it's okay." Bar affectionately pats her head before nuzzling his palm into her warm, soft cheek. "And I know for a fact that you've always had a dirty mind, baby, it's not a recent thing. You always understand my innuendos."
"I feel c-called out." The little goddess pouted, leaning against Bar's hand and he grinned at the thoughtless action. "And, and I don't appreciate it."
"Hm, you don't?" Bar tilted his head ever so slightly, a cocky smirk upon his lips. "Want me to give you something you will appreciate?"
Clementine's face flamed red and Bar laughed, his hand brushing hair away from her soft features.
"See, babygirl?" Bar teased. "You're dirty all on your own, imaginations running free. I could've been talking about lollipops, but you probably thought about something else that you'd be able to s—"
"Oly," Clementine whined. "Don't finish t-that sentence."
Still smirking, Bar leans back against his seat, fingers tapping against the steering wheel, and asks, "Why not? Would it make your imagination go a bit too wild?"
"No," Clementine softly groans out and Bar narrows his dark eyes at her.
"If you're going to be making a noise like that, babygirl, you need to be louder." Bar said, tone confident and strong.
"Why n-not?"
"Practice."
"Pr-practice?" Clementine questions, a tiny pout on her delectable lips.
"Yes, practice for when I'm causing you to make those words. I want to hear every noise you can make," Bar told her. "I want to know I'm responsible for them. Let me hear you shudder, and moan, and gasp. I want to press myself into you and hear that hitch in your breath and grin because you are seeing stars and I put those constellations in your eyes."
Clementine goes red, eyes widening slightly, and her legs subtly clench together— which only makes Bar's smirk grow onto his lips.
"Oly."
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"S-stop it."
"Sorry, babygirl. I just love seeing how you react." Bar holds up his hands in mock surrender before switching gears. "Do your siblings look like you?"
Clementine shakes her head.
"Only Obby does," The goddess says. Bar nods. They are twins, after all. "We look like our m-mom— besides our eyes— and they look like our dad."
"Interesting," Bar's mind instantly goes to trying to imagine what her sibling actually look like but comes up empty. "What are all their names and who looks like what?"
Clementine perked up and Bar wondered how often people asked her things about herself.
"Well, in birth order t-there's Charoite and Zicron they have the, the whitest blonde hair out of everyone with really dark blue eyes. Then there's Emerald a-and Angelite, they have blue eyes too but their hair is more blonde than white. Everyone else has some shade of blue eyes and blonde h-hair. Topaz and Garnet have m-matching tattoos on their wrists. Diamond has a nose piercing while Opal has an, has an eyebrow one. Amber and Amethyst have t-the same haircut but AJ is taller. Sapphire and Jade have dyed blue hair and it's, i-it's really long. Pearl and Ruby are like a rainbow versus rain c-clouds. And finally, Obsidian and me, Ivory-Onyx." Clementine grinned sheepishly at her actual name and Bar sent her a wink, which made the goddess giggle.
Then, with an amused but bewildered look, Bar rose his eyebrows and cocked my head.
Huh, he thought, they are all named after a fucking stone.
"What?" Clementine asked, weary of his lips that were moments before so close to hers but the sides that were now creeping up into his familiar smirk.
"Are all of you named after gemstones?" Bar asked, sounding amused. The young goddess sighed.
Bar noticed how incredibly beautiful she looked sitting there, the afternoon sun on her face, and illuminating her features. She really did glow.
He pushed the damn thought away when she spoke next.
"I told y-you there were sixteen of us in total," Clementine said. "And, and apparently, my mom thought it would be funny since h-her name is Crystal and my dad's name is Jem, y'know like a gem?"
Bar laughed and the goddess instantly glowered at him.
His only reply to the 'nasty' look which was too cute to be effective was a wink.
"So," He nonchalantly continued, "What are all your ages?"
"We're all twins, Obby and I are seventeen, we're all a y-year apart. Ron and Char are the oldest at twenty-four, and we all look similar but n-nothing alike."
That's a lot of twins, and they all look similar but nothing alike? Bar was really curious now about what their family reunion must be like.
"Noted and what do they all do?" Bar asks, curious about her family, or simply just her in general.
He likes hearing her talk, especially when she felt comfortable as she did now— she was stuttering less.
He didn't mind her stutter, it was apart of her, but he enjoyed her being relaxed.
"Char is the trig teacher at our school and Ron is our vice principal. You've probably met them before." Clementine said and Bar shook his head, he had the other trig teacher and typically avoided authoritative figures. "Angel is a mechanic and Emerald is a Philosophy Professor, Emy originally wanted to be a florist but she's allergic to pollen so a-apparently going into philosophy was the next step. Gar is a lawyer and Topaz is the IB English lit teacher at our school. Pazzy hates the gym teacher, I'm not sure why. Mon is a Clinical Therapist and Opal also works at the school, she's the AP History teacher. Amy is a software developer and AJ is a veterinarian... AJ is Amethyst, not Amber. J-J is a music producer and Sap is a film director, both work for the same company. Rue is an art therapist, Pearl is a physical therapist, they work in the same building that Mon does. And Obby wants to be a neurosurgeon."
"What about you?"
Clementine blink as if she's never been asked that before and a light blush spreads across her cheeks.
So fucking cute.
But also slightly worrying, because Bar had only asked a simple question— something he probably should've asked her before they started dating but oh-fucking-well.
"I, um, I want to be either a choreographer or neuro-neurophysiologist."
Those are both hard jobs but Bar had faith that whatever she wanted to go into, she could do it.
The brute knew that his little goddess was, well, smart as hell and stubborn too.
Whatever path she chose, she's come out with a steady career and a future full of potential— Bar had absolutely no doubts about that.
"Those are two very different things, sweetheart." Bar says. "But I think you could do either one and be successful if you wanted to."
Her cheeks were basically stained red and Bar chuckled as she murmured, "Thanks."
He had flirted with her almost every single day they've been together, and made her all flustered texted, and even over the phone. Yet so much can still make her go shy and red.
It sometimes surprised Bar when she flirted back just because of how much she blushed when doing so but he loved it regardless.
"Do you, do you have something that y-you want to do?" Clementine asked, making Bar pause.
What does he want to do?
Nothing comes to mind.
Had he ever been asked that before by someone who wasn't a pushover school counselor or infuriating principal?
His father didn't care, didn't ask. Gwen was too young to know how important it was to have your shit together by the time you started college, and his best friends knew why he didn't have anything planned.
Why worry about a career when you think you're going to be dead before twenty?
"No, babygirl." Bar shook his head, feeling shame slam into his stomach and he hung his head. "I don't have anything... planned."
"That's okay!" Clementine smiled up at him encouragingly and Bar lifted his head over so slightly to see her adorable face. "You'll figure it out, Oly, and I can even help! We have t-time."
"Thank you, baby." Bar kissed her forehead. "That would be nice. Are we going to meet the siblings now?"
"Right!" Clementine squeaked out, eyes flashing over to the doors of her mansion.
"If they hate me and tell me to fuck off and leave you alone I'm going to kidnap you to my apartment and keep you there." Bar warns, as they opening their car doors and step out.
"They won't t-tell you to do that," Clementine says. "But you c-can take me back to your apartment anyway."
"Alright and sleepover?" Bar quickly walks over to the goddess and nervously holds her to him, their hands together as they walk to the house.
"Sure," Clementine giggles.
"Okay, remember to grab some clothes, and oh," Bar squeezed her hand, remembering something. "I wanted you to know that I read all the Harry Potter books."
Clementine looks up to him with an awed expression, "Really, why? But y-yay! They're the best! What did you think about Hagrid? About Drarry? Hermione is one of my favorites and in the movies too!"
"Babygirl," Bar said, chuckling. "I read the books because you looked positively offended when I said I hadn't, and I enjoyed it all. Hermione is a great character but I prefer Luna Lovegood. And I have no idea what Drarry is, sorry, sweetheart."
"Drarry," She began matter-of-factly. "Is the ship between Draco a-and Harry."
Bar rose his eyebrows, "I think I greatly missed something while reading."
"It's not c-canon, silly." Clementine bumps her hip against Bar's thigh— making him realize just how endearingly short she was in comparison to him.
"Ah, okay." Bar nodded, assuming that canon meant in actuality, or that it was something real instead of pure fiction. "And you like this Drarry ship?"
"Yes!" Clementine nods.
They stop before the already open doors, thanks to the servants, and the little goddess turned to the brute.
"Want m-me to call Obby to see who's home?"
"Yeah." Bar affirmed, feeling jitters go down his spine, making his knees shake.
He really didn't want to fuck anything up or cause problems between Clementine and her family.
Clementine calls her brother and Bar only half listens. As she asks who's there the brute didn't know whether or not to be relieved when the older twin informs the goddess that their other siblings are gone.
Then, abruptly, Clementine squealed— shocking Bar.
"Adriel is h-here?" She excitedly questions. "Why didn't, why didn't you tell m-me earlier?" She listens for a second before squealing again. "That's so not the point, Obby! I missed him and—"
Clementine pouts and looks down at the phone, "He h-hung up on me."
"I'm sorry, babygirl." Bar pulled his goddess closer and couldn't help the rather protective, jealous feeling that entered his system. "Who's Adriel?"
"He's Conway's step-brother and he's really cool! I-I think you'll like him." Clementine said and, somehow, Bar doubted that. "Addie is really nice."
Bar pursed his lips, "Is he like Conway?"
"Conway?" Clementine looked amused as she subtly started to walk them both into the house. Bar clutched onto her hand a little tighter, not knowing what to expect but knowing that Obsidian finding out about them dating won't be pretty.
"Yeah, Conway." Bar grunted out. "That smug bastard. Is he... as annoying?"
Annoying. Egregious. Gross. Asshole-ish. Intemperate. Reckless. Intolerable.
Just fucking ew.
"No," Clementine laughs and shakes her head. "Addie i-is not annoying and he's not anything like Conway. He doesn't even l-like Conny."
Bar relaxed slightly and nodded.
Maybe they could bond over their mutual dislike towards the guy's stepbrother.
"Okay, that's good." Bar said, following the goddess up the stairs, keeping a hand on her lower back to make sure if she slipped, he'd be able to catch her. "I couldn't deal with another goddamn Conway. I'm sure Adriel and I... will get along."
"You won't be a m-meanie?"
"Depends."
"On?"
Bar contemplated whether or not he should tell her and the decision made the brute sigh, "I'm a jealous person, babygirl, and I know that's probably not a good thing but I can't help it. I don't like other people touching you like how I want to be touching you or looking at you like how I look at you. I don't like others thinking that they have a chance at making you theirs because you're mine. And I know that that's not fair, me feeling like this because I have no control over how people feel about you or—"
"Oly," Clementine makes them pause, her on a step above them making their heads almost be level, but Bar noticed how she was still a little short. "Take a, a breath. It's okay t-that you get jealous, I don't mind. If you get upset a-at something or uncomfortable, that's fine, y-you can tell me. I won't judge you."
"Same goes for you," Bar nuzzles their noses together. "And thank you, baby."
"I'll keep t-that in mind. Let's go see t-them." Clementine pecked his lips and Bar melted, instantly complying as she pulled him along towards the elevator.
Worried, Bar couldn't help but ask, "How much more will your brother hate me?"
"Obby doesn't h-hate you, he's just protecting me."
"Protecting you... from me." Bar said slowly, then understanding bit into his shoulders and made them tense. Briefly, in moments of peace, the brute forgets that he once bullied her, that he was the villain instead of somebody who openly cared about her. "I know he thinks he needs to protect you from me and I completely understand why. I was fucking horrible to you but he needs to understand that I would never do anything to hurt you. Even before we started to date I wouldn't—"
"You're dating?" A rather shocked, angry voice spits out, and Bar shoots his head up to see the elevator doors open and Obsidian standing there next to a tall, tan, blue-eyed guy with dark hair tinted blue and a blue t-shirt.
If Bar wasn't so worried that the older twin was about to blow a fuse, he would question what's up with Mr. Blue— whom Bar assumed was Adriel.
"Uh..." Bar never felt smaller than in that moment, and he was behind Clementine, clutching her hips, and half-way hiding before he could even think. Just being closer to the goddess brought him comfort. "Yes, we are."
"Clems," Obsidian said, sounding slightly offended as his likewise eyes clashed with his twin's. "You didn't tell me?"
Clementine shuffled from foot to foot, pressing her back against Bar's chest and he calmed even more, somehow his anxiety stalling from how the goddess found comfort from him, too.
"It just happened this morning Obby and I was going t-to tell you now but then Oly said it and, and—"
"Aw, Tiny!" Mr. Blue, Adriel, exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you!"
Why is everybody interrupting someone else so fucking much?
"Thanks," Clementine flushed. "Oly, this is m-my friend Adriel. Addie, this is my boyfriend Oly."
Adriel eased forward and held out his hand and Bar shook it with the appropriate firmness.
"Call me Red," Bar said. "It's nice to meet you."
"You too," Adriel said as the couple stepped out from the elevator. "Red? As in Bar Red, the infamous beast boy?"
Bar's jaw clenched and he nodded.
"She," Adriel points to Clementine who quickly spins around and hides her face against Bar's chest as if she knew what humiliating words would come next. "Has had a crush on you for years."
The hell? No?
That was Bar's first reaction. The second reaction he had was utter and complete guilt.
It was worse— so much worse knowing she liked him, by some miracle, back then and that fact is heartbreaking.
How much pain was she in? To be constantly being belittled by the person who held her heart?
Bar bullied her and what, she liked him? For years?
Yeah, Bar bitterly thought. I'm definitely going to hell.
"I didn't know that," Bar said, feeling how warm Clementine's face was even through his shirt.
Bar grew to a mixture of curiosity and anxiousness. If Adriel was a good enough friend that he knew about Clementine's crush, then he knew about the bullying.
As Adriel turned and started a conversation with the older twin, making them both disappear down the hallway and for Obsidian to throw a glare over his shoulder as he walked, Bar gently removed a bright red Clementine from his chest and held her warm face in his hands.
"So," Bar started, voice soft and grinning slightly despite the pool of sadness in his stomach that weighed him down. "You're all red and cute."
"Oly," The goddess whined, biting her bottom lip which stole some of Bar's attention. "Was that as emb-embarrassing as I thought?"
"Nope," Bar shook his head, thumbs brushing over the freckles hidden underneath a blush. "Not embarrassing at all. Besides, I liked you back then too, babygirl. Only you were still a sweet, kind-hearted, cute little thing back then too and I was a fucking asshole to you so only really I have an excuse. You have questionable taste."
"I, I do not!" Clementine huffed. "You weren't as bad back then as y-you think you were, Oly. You were nice, sometimes. You kept m-mean kids away from me, you helped carry my books to class, you caught me whenever I'd trip, and you didn't let anyone else p-pick on, on me."
She's missing the part where Bar was one of those mean kids and he definitely didn't stay away from her.
"Alright, but still, never put up with someone who makes you feel bad or treats you bad because you like them. No one like that deserves for you to make excuses for their poor behavior," Bar didn't deserve her, he had made Clementine's life hell and he'd never forgive himself for it.
Why was that so hard to understand?
Why didn't she think he was a bad person, too?
"I-I know that, Oly." Clementine turned her head slightly and kisses the palm of his hand. "Do y-you think Obby is going to be mad?"
"At me? Yes." Bar replied instantly. "At you? No. I don't think any good brother would get mad at their sister for trying to be happy. Even if they don't agree with who they're being happy around."
"You t-think he's a good brother?" Clementine locks her minty eyes onto Bar's and the brute can't help but to get lost into them. "Because h-he is but I just... didn't think you liked him."
"I don't dislike him, but I wouldn't call us friends," Bar said. "I think he's the one that doesn't like me, babygirl. I've done some shit that neither of us will forgive me for and I get that, I respect that. And I see how important he is to you, so he's important to me too. He cares about you a lot and he protects you. He's a good brother to you, I see that. And he doesn't completely loathe me, he doesn't start fights with me even though he probably wants to and that's all I can ask for. Do you really think I'd let someone I despised to punch me in the face, let alone teach them how to do so?"
"Fair p-points," Clementine nods, then sighs. "I wish h-he'd just let go of the past."
"Not everyone's as forgiving as you, babygirl."
"There's a difference between forgiving a-and moving on."
"Yeah, I know, but usually one can't happen without the other in a situation like this."
Clementine seemed sullen at that knowledge but she quickly erupted into delighted giggled as Bar tickled her sides pulling her closer, the brute watched as her mood lifted.
"C-come on," The goddess pecks his lips. "I still have t-to explain everything to, to Obby."
"Fuck," Bar groans, then gently tugs Clementine down the hallway. "Lets go make your brother hate me more."
"Okay," Clementine says, a small smile on her lips. "Then let's go to m-my room, I got one of the maids to bring u-up gummy bears to my kitchen."
"Wait, really?" Bar grinned down at her as Clementine nodded. "You're the best person I've ever fucking met, babygirl."
"Thank you." Clementine giggled.
Then, they were going into Obsidian's living room to meet the older twin himself and Adriel for the impending verbal storm.
Bar was just grateful that, afterward, he'd get gummy bears.