Zak POV
My moms words had rang in my mind all day. So when I saw Elle was upset, I knew I had to get her to the house to speak. I text Aaron and told him to rearrange our boys night, as this was now taking precedence.
When Elle arrived I could see she was visibly troubled and all I had to do was wait quietly for her to get through whatever she was fighting in her mind.
When she did, I would know what I had to deal with, what I needed to explain.
Things hadn't gone how I wanted, whatever Mia had said had really upset Elle, as she struggled to get past whatever was eating her up inside and if it couldn't have got any worse, the guys had shown up.
Between the commotion of me pleading Elle to stay and the guys to go, I was panicking. I was truly afraid that if she left, I'd lose her. That I had fucked up something between us that really grounded me..
"Just move!" She shouts at me.
"Elle please! Guys, just fuck off!" I yell at them, as I began losing control of everything.
Elle goes for her bag but cries in pain and stumbles back holding her head.
She looks at me a terrified.
"El?" I breathe.
Then it happens...
Her face falls expressionless , her eyes cloud over slightly before they roll and her body looks as if it's lost its skeleton and falls backwards.
"No!" I yell, throwing myself in her direction, but I'm not quick enough and the sickening thud of her head off the marble floor almost totals me.
"Zak?!"
"Bro!"
The crew are yelling behind me, but all I can see is Elle.
No. No. No! I wasn't ready! I'm not prepared for this!
Her body begins to convulse and jerk, her fingers curled up into almost claws as her muscles tighten. Her feet tapping rapidly against the tiles as her legs tremble. Her head is pushed back, veins pulling out of her neck as she struggles to breath. Her face goes from the sunkissed tan to a bluish hue. There is blood coming from her mouth and I want to stop it.
I want this to stop this happening to her, but I can't.
I'm helpless.
"She's fitting!" Someone yells.
Seizure.
"She has epilepsy!" I tell them as they begin shouting for an ambulance. "Don't call them yet!"
'Come on Zak.' A voice says in my head. It sounds like my gran and when she tells me to look at my watch, to take the time and work through what I had read online.
'5 minutes and you call for help.'
I listen.
1 minute.
'Make space.'
'Her head.'
Grabbing a cushion off the couch, I put it beside her before yelling at the guys to help me move the couch and coffee table out the way.
As they do that, I look at Elle, and try to remember what comes next.
Picking her head up gently, I put it on the cushion before grabbing the blanket off the couch and covering her with it, seeing that she had wet herself.
2 minutes.
'Stay calm. Stay alert for her.'
3 minutes.
It feels like a lifetime, I tell my mind.
'Breathe Zak. In deep and out. Wait for her.'
The guys are asking me things but all I need to do is stay here.
I wait.
The 4 minute mark hits and I'm
about to tell them to call the ambulance.
Then jerking and convulsions stops and I scramble up from the laying position on the floor.
' Her side.'
I reach over and pull her on her side in the recovery position, like I read, like she had told me. I scoot down to see her face, almost laying with her again.
"Breathe.." I plead as her body sucks in the air. "Breathe."
It takes a few seconds for the blue slowly seeps away from her face and the tanned skin to come back.
"Come on baby." I urge.
'Keep talking to her' the voice in my head says.
"Come on Elle. We haven't finished out conversation. You haven't done that dramatic exit yet.. Breathe for me."
When her eyes flutter open, I could have collapsed myself as relief floods my body. I smile at her as she blinks a few times.
"Hey there." I whisper, brushing the hair back behind her ear.
She begins opening and closing her mouth causing one of the guys to shout that they are getting her water. The bottle is shoved at me as they all stand back, waiting.
"It's okay." I tell her. "You've had a seizure. I'm here though. You're okay."
I unscrew the cap and pour a little onto my thumb and dap it over her lips causing her tongue to shoot out and collect it. The last thing I wanted to do was pour water into her mouth and cause her to choke.
This for me, for her was safer.
Her eyes shut briefly before they open again, this time they are moving around the room, taking in her surroundings.
"S-"
"Don't speak yet. Just take a minute." I tell her, putting a little more water on her lips.
She moves the blanket and then covers herself quickly looking ashamed.
"It's okay." I tell her.
The guys make themselves scarce in the home theatre and close the door leaving us alone.
"It's just me and you now."
It seems like I had given her permission of some kind as she begins to cry.
"Hey, no. It's okay." I tell her grabbing her hand and putting it on my face.
"It's okay."
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to apologise for."
Her sobs echo off the floor as she comes to terms with what has happened. I've never been in her situation, but I can imagine it's terrifying. To lose complete control and wake up like this.
Once I know she is physically okay, I help her sit up. Her eyes look for the guys before they go to the floor and what is under the blanket. I know she is thinking about wetting herself and I know that whatever I say will not make it better for her, so I decide to go another route. I ignore it.
"Let's get you up." I say quietly.
"I-.. I can't." She says pulling the blanket closer to her sides.
"I know and I don't care." I tell her, crouching down on my knees.
"R-really? Cause I do." She says as tears roll down her cheeks.
I wipe them away because it hurts to see her looking so broken about this.
"I know. But you shouldn't, because it's not something you can help. Like my bad taste in wood carvings."
She cries and laughs at the same time making me smile. "There she is. How is your head?"
"I... I hit it, didn't I?"
"Pretty hard."
She reaches back and touches the back of her head. I expect to see blood when she moves her hand away from the sound it made. But it comes away clean.
"A little sore. Must have sounded worse than it was."
I nod. "Okay. But let's get you up."
I had read in a magazine that 80% of oxygen goes to someone's brain when they stand up. After she has been shrugging to breathe for four minutes, I summarise that she needs that oxygen.
Elle takes my hand when I offer it, and with my help she stands up, falling into me slightly. "Sorry. Bit wobbly."
"I'm like that after a small glass of wine. And I mean small."
Her lips curve slightly as her arm goes around me. Slowly, we make our way to my room and towards the bathroom.
"Going straight to the toilet okay?"
She nods as I walk her in and wait to make sure she is able to stand.
"Undress, put the robe on and leave your washing there." I tell her, closing the door and standing on the other side. "I'm right out here if you need me."
I stare at the wood, like a dog waiting for it's owner. When the door opens, a small hooded figure, swamped in my black robe steps out. I go straight back beside her, guiding her towards the shower.
She might not want one, hell it might be a bad idea, but it also may help her feel a little better too. I have a shower seat that was built into the shower wall, to me it was more of a shelf to keep my shampoo and shower gel. But now I was grateful of it's placement knowing Elle could sit there and get clean.
Once I've turned on the shower, I leave her to get in it, whilst I run across into my room to grab clothes from my wardrobe. My ears constantly listening out for her, incase she needs me.
I'm back with an armful of clothes when the shower stops and when I hear her call out for me, I appear. She's wrapped in the robe I had given her, shivering.
"Was it cold?"
She shakes her head. "Just me."
I nod and hand her the clothes. "Be right outside."
It's a back and forth game until she is dressed, wanting to give her some privacy after being so exposed in the lounge.
I then brush the knots out of her hair and braid it before putting her into my bed having witnessed her yawning a few times.
Tucking her in, I leap over her and drop on the bed beside her, pulling her in close to me.
"Get some sleep. I'll be here."
"The crew.." She says quietly.
"Yeah they can wait." I tell her. "I'm here. With you."
"Thank you for being so understanding." She whispers hugging me tightly.
I want to thank her, for being here right now, despite the circumstances. I now know that I have to fight and I will, to keep whatever this is between us.
'Good Job Zak.' My grans voice says making me hold Elle a little tighter.
Just as Elle is about to drift off, she speaks "Zak?"
"Yeah?"
"Is Gracie okay?"
I smile, it's a random question but one I know she wants the answer to. "Yeah she is in the garden. I got her a new toy today, she has been playing all afternoon."
"If you go.. Can she stay in here? I don't want to be alone yet."
"I'll get her in a bit, but I'm not leaving you."
Her hand fusses with my shirt until she pops the button and sticks her hand inside, placing her cool hand over my heart.
"This... This is the Zak I know. I don't need to know anything else. I don't want to know anything else. This. This is you."
I smile and put my hand over the top of my shirt, holding her hand over my heart. "Don't think about anything else, other than resting."
She hums and drops off to sleep in a matter of seconds, holding my heart.
****
I flinch out of my own sleep as Gracie jumps on the bed and worms her way up until she's directly opposite Elle. Almost sniffing her face.
"Sorry bro." Billy says making me look towards the cracked open bedroom door. "She okay?"
I look down at Elle who is sound asleep, I slowly uncurl myself from her, letting Gracie take my position. I wait for her to stir, but when she doesn't, I move across the room and stand by the bedroom door watching her whilst talking to Billy.
"She has epilepsy."
Billy nods. "First time for you?"
"That obvious?" I scoff.
"Hey, listen. You did incredible. How did you know what to do?"
I shake my head "I read a bunch of shit online, listened to the voice in my head."
"Well it paid off.. Is she going to be okay?"
"Yeah. She's just exhausted."
"What about you?" Billy asks making me look at him.
"She's my main concern."
"And you are ours." Billy says gesturing to the home theatre and the guys. "You won't be no good to her if you're not okay too... Look bro, I know we-... I know I fucked things up with Elle. But I wanna make that right, we know it wasn't me, not entirely."
"I know."
"And whilst I can't do that right now. I want to tell you that when the time is right, I will."
I nod and look back to see Gracie with her head on Elle's chest.
"Sophie does that to me. You know why?" Billy asks making me shake my head.
"She's keeping an eye on her breathing. With every breath, Gracie moves. She knows Elle is okay."
I look at my dog with pride.
"Clever animals aren't they?"
"Yes they are." I answer, watching Gracie move up with a breath and down again.
"Listen, me and the guys, we wanna stick around for a little while longer. If that's okay? We will be in the theatre."
I nod "I'm not leaving her."
"We know. I've ordered take out, so when you both are ready, there will be food for you."
"Thanks Bill." I answer as he heads back towards the theatre.
"I've also tidied up the lounge... You know. So you just focus on Elle. We are only down the corridor if you need us."
"Thanks Bro." I tell him again, truly grateful for what he has done.
As he disappears into the home theatre, I go back into the bedroom and close the doors slightly, before climbing on the bed on the opposite side of Elle, so that I don't disturb Gracie either.
"You sleep." I tell Elle softly, moving her braid off her face. "Because I'll be right here, now, today, tomorrow and every other day after that."