"All these memories and flashbacks are just another painful reminder that no matter what I do or however hard I try, I will never get you back"
❃ B l a z e ❃
Aiden turned around and all I could feel was his anger radiating off him in waves. I shrunk away as he spoke "Why does he have your number?" His face was blank except the furious look in his eyes. "We're paired up for a project" I replied without looking him in the eyes. He kept on glaring at me "I thought I told you to stay away from him".
I internally felt the urge to roll my eyes as I replied "How am I supposed to do that if we're partners?" My eyes widened at my words. I said that out loud. Aiden was shocked at my sudden confidence and he glared at me once again. "Did you just talk back?" he snarled. I was careful not to let my tongue slip this time. "No, I mean Mrs. Reynolds paired us together and I also have to go to his house this Saturday" my newly found confidence was surprising to both myself and Aiden.
"I don't want you sleeping around, now do I?" Aiden suddenly stalked towards me and grabbed my upper arm painfully. I wasn't the one sleeping around.
"I'm just going for the project. I'll be back in a few hours" I said, pain shooting up my arm due to his death grip. "You better be, otherwise it won't be too pretty for you" he seethed as he let go of my arm. I wondered if I should ask him about hanging out with Bree and decided to just get it over with. I couldn't mention Rafael, Aiden was already pissed at me for meeting up for the project. I was surprised he even let me go so easily.
"There's one more thing" I muttered as Aiden faced me. "Bree and I are going out on Sunday". I felt happy that I was standing up to him one way or another. I didn't need to ask permission from him. He suddenly raised his arm and slapped me. My cheeks stung from the impact.
"Who said you were going?" He said in a low voice. And just like that, my resolve crumbled. It was a mistake to think I could be strong. He always found a way to bring me down. "I-I meant to ask" I mumbled as he lifted my chin up harshly. "Don't think you can run from me, sweetheart. I'm here to stay" He sickly grinned as his hand came down one me once again. I felt tears well up in my eyes but I forced them to stay at bay. I didn't want to appear more weak than I already was. I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.
"All these people don't know the real you, Blaze. They don't see the weak you and the ugly scars like I do. They don't see the girl who let her best friend die. If you think you deserve more, think again. All you deserve is pain." He yelled at me and every single one of his words hurt me. What he was saying was true, and the tears finally let loose. He punched me in the stomach and kicked me again and again. Even though it was the second time today, I felt numb.
Aiden's words were stuck in my thoughts. I was wrong to think I deserved better. I was just the worthless girl he said I was. I could see him hitting me again and again but my thoughts kept on getting darker.
I wasn't the person I used to be, I was dead inside. My life wasn't worth living. Everyone would be better off if I just disappeared. I could've stopped her. I could've saved her. Instead I just let her go. I was fighting to stay alive. The regret was too much to face every single day.
Aiden walked away after he was done and I got up, ignoring the pain all throughout my body. I could barely walk, agony bursting through my veins. I grabbed my phone and my jacket as I walked out of the house before Aiden could notice. It wasn't like he even cared. No one did. That was the sheer reality. I wasn't wanted.
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I knew where I was going once I left the house. It was the place I always went when I needed an escape from everything. I started walking and each time I took a step, pain shot up my legs. I winced but kept going on. Anything was better than home.
The temperature dropped and I cursed myself for bringing only a flimsy jacket along. The noises began drifting away as I approached our spot. I felt calm as I sat down on the secluded bench. It was always deadly quiet and strangely, I felt the silence welcoming.
The small pond in front of me glimmered with it's rippling waters. It wasn't too late, almost time for the sunset. If I stayed long enough, I would be able to witness it. A hundred memories flashed through my mind. Kiara and I would spend hours here, it was our own little cove. We had discovered it when we were out for a walk near the woods when we were 14. Kiara wanted to explore. She was always the adventurous one out of the two of us.
We walked into the woods, hoping to find something new and we surely did. Before us was a small little pond and beautiful flowers blooming around it. It was spring time and the scene before us was mesmerizing. We found an old wooden bench and sat there for hours talking about trivial stuff.
We never needed a topic to talk, conversation would always flow by itself with her. After that morning, we used to visit our little cove almost everyday. It was our secret place. And it still was. Even if only one of us came.
I ran over the day's events. School was an escape from home. I knew I was opening myself up to Rafael and Bree. I wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I thought about what Aiden had said and deep down I knew that he was right. Both of them thought of me as their friend because they didn't know my horrific past. They would up and run. Who would want to be associated with a person who let her best friend die? I was nothing short of a murderer.
I felt wet tears run down my cheeks and I wiped them. I needed help, I knew it. But I also knew that there was no way I could escape from the hellhole I called my life. Anywhere I went, I wouldn't be safe. Danger lurked just around the corner. I sometimes wondered if I was a burden to everyone around me. Aunt Mary and Aiden never failed to remind me.
I just ran through my thoughts again and again, staring at the rippling water in front of me that glimmered like a crystal mirror. The wind billowed above my head, whispering soft secrets to the flowers. My skin was tingling as my senses perceived the chill around me, nipping at my fingers as they curled of their own accord. My eyes flirted around to find a semblance of life around me, and all I could see was the peaceful life that these elements led in this small little cove.
"I need you, Kay" I whispered hoping to realize that the last one year of my life was a dream. Sadly, the silence greeted me, reminding me that it wasn't. "You promised you wouldn't leave me" I said. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks but all I could keep repeating was "You promised. How could you?" I felt my throat constricting and my breaths came shorter. Everything was hazy around me. I couldn't focus on anything, just the painful memories. It was another anxiety attack. I was having too many these days.
I wished someone would tell me that it would all be okay, but I knew too that 'okay' was just a lie. Life isn't what it is made out to be. Happiness is just a mask to hide the real pain lurking behind. No one in the world is truly happy. Everyone if fighting their own demons, looking for a way out.
My breathing slowly became normal and I came to my senses. Time was the only thing that helped with these attacks. I checked the time and realized that it was quite late. I had been here for two hours, just thinking. This was my sense of normality in the chaotic life I lived.
I checked my phone to see no missed calls. I didn't hope for anything more, no one would even bat an eye if I disappeared off the face of the Earth. Well, Aunt Mary would but only because she wouldn't get the money she received from the government for 'taking care' of me. Pretty ironic.
I got up and started walking home. The sky was getting really dark and the atmosphere was chilly. It was a stark contrast to the beautiful little world I was in just a few minutes ago. It was like returning to harsh reality after a glimpse of a serene escape.
I wrapped my jacket around myself tighter to keep myself warm, but it wasn't much help. All I could feel was pain every time my feet hit the ground. I wondered how I even got so far without getting a concussion or landing face first on the pavement.
I usually took the long way home, but I knew I couldn't today. I could barely take a step without feeling agony all over. I decided on taking the short way home, even thought it consisted of a few alleys. I would make it through, I hoped.
I kept on walking and barely managed to pick up my pace when I encountered lonely roads. I was halfway home when I felt a little dizzy. Just another side effect of the many bruises and injuries I had sustained. I held on to a nearby wall for support and then took a few deep breaths. I instantly regretted it as I felt my as if an elephant had trampled on my lungs and crushed them into tiny pieces. Quite the visual.
When I felt a little better, I was on my way again, but the dizziness returned. I took a few steps but staggered over my own feet. Damn me and my stupid idea for coming out this late.
I reached for something for support but there wasn't anything there and the world started spinning before me. I saw blackness encase me but the last thing I could feel was someone jerking my shoulder. And then I slipped into deep oblivion.
Hey Babes! Okay okay I know I'm late, maybe not that late but I still felt guilty for not getting a chapter up. What can I say, the angel on my shoulder won lol.
Not a great chapter I know, just another filler. I swear I'm trying to get the story through but online classes have me swamped! I literally feel that this is harder than regular school. Am I the only one? Let me know.
Don't have a lot to talk about right now, just that I hope you guys liked the chapter! Who do you think found Blaze?
Random Question. What's a song that describes your life right now? Comment your answers.
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A❤️