Your POV
I finally reached Earth with LP, we both arrived yesterday and the gang is showing her around today. I was in the kitchen with a cup of hot coffee in my hands. No one was around at that time since all of them are teaching LP Earth culture. I was deep inside my own thoughts, remembering all the things I have done, I don't know why but they just came out right now.
All the gems from the High Rebellion I have shattered, the humans I have harmed back when I haven't met Steven yet back when I was still used...like a weapon. Everything around me is silent, and everything is black.
I was wondering, can they forgive me? For what I've done? To all of them? I mean, I shattered gems from High Rebellion to protect the Empire, but........I feel......bad.
Not to mention the humans that I hurt thousands of years ago. Probably they won't, I mean who can forgive a person who let the total destruction of a powerful country.
Then I saw a blinding light heading towards me, I covered my eyes using my hands to prevent the brightness from getting to me.
The light faded and I saw I was in a battlefield, I was at a foot of a mountain and there were a lot of tattered flags and lot's of swords or any kind of weapons lying on the groun.
Then I noticed that there are gem shards on the ground, I realized where I was, this place is where I first shattered gems, I heared footsteps behind me, I looked back and saw......Oh no.
It's my past self, wearing the armor I have in-stored my gem, I tried forgetting about my past self, my mistakes, brutality, and my title, but he won't let me.
Past Self: You cannot forget about past!
Y/N: NO! I buried you a long time ago in the sands of time! HOW ARE YOU HERE?!?!
Past Self: You can never forget your past, it's what made you who you are. A monster, a weapon.
I summoned my gauntlets and he started changing shape, he replaced his armor with the other armor I have. He was holding a Gladius and did a stance.
Past Self: YOU ARE AFRAID THAT YOU WILL ONLY HURT THOSE WHO ARE AROUND YOU!!!
Y/N: SHUT UP!!!
I rushed towards him and I was about to hit him in the gut, he moved out of the way and used my momentum to throw me to a wall. I was sent flying and I was stuck on the wall.
I noticed he was changing armor again, IS HE GOING THROUGH ALL OF MY ARMOR INSIDE MY GEM?!?!
He was about to stab me with the Pole Axe but luckily I immediately teared myself away from the wall and I saw a chance to hit him, I took it and I was about to hit him in the face when he used the flat side of the Pole Axe.
The flat side was hard, so hard that when my Gauntlets collided with the weapon it made a ringing sound and pain surged through my arm making me scream.
Y/N: ARRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!!
Past Self: Pathetic!
Then I looked up and saw that he was changing armor again, he had a shield and a flail. HE'S USING ALL OF MY EQUIPMENT!!!
Past Self: Look at you! You're weak!
Y/N: I'M YOU!!! DUMBASS!!!
I finally landed a hit on him, his helmet dented and he was on the ground, I kept hitting him while he was still down, then he used his shield to hit me in the head.
Then he gave me a headbutt and I backed away, he swung his mace towards me. He swung with great strength and at a fast speed, he landed a hit just below my chest. I was sent flying again.
I immediately got up and I saw he changed armor again. And this time, it's the final armor I used when I finally reclaimed all of the colonies, he summoned his gauntlets.
I stood up and I rushed towards him and gave him a hook and an uppercut, we were trading punches. I gave him a right hook, he gave me a left hook, I gave him a jab, he gave me a straight punch, I gave him an uppercut, he gave me a body blow.
Few minutes of trading punches, we are both in a power struggle.
Y/N: I will always find a way to forget about you! No matter what!
Past Self: *chuckle* No matter what you do, you can never get rid of me, you cannot undo me, and you certainly cannot forget about me.
Past Self: Don't expect forgiveness from people. Because no one would forgive you. You shattered many gems, I shattered gems. You're afraid that you will hurt anyone around you, well guess what? You will hurt them, you are afraid that you're just a weapon.
I gritted my teeth and I summoned my wings and grabbed him by the legs, I flew as high as the peak of the mountain, I started spinning around and I threw my past self over the mountain making a distant crashing of boulders.
I flew down and I panted heavily, I don't remember myself being that strong, then the ground started shaking and I looked over the mountain and I saw........Oh my God........
Y/N: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!
( You know what the size of this thing is? Well........as big as Ancalagon, and if you don't know.........)
( Yup, that's it's size, and it's height is almost two kilometers. And that tiny thing at the bottom? That's the Alpha from How to Train Your Dragon. Look at how small the Alpha is compared to Ancalagon. )
What is that creature?! It's as tall as Tamu Massif!!! I started flying away as I knew that I stood no chance against it. I flew as fast as I can, as far as I can go.
I WILL NOT FIGHT THAT THING!!!
Then I looked back and saw that it was looking straight at me with it's dark empty eyes. Then it roared, the loudest roar you can hear, a roar that it even sent shivers down my non-existant spine
It spread it's wings and it started flying after me, that thing is famn fast for it's size. It eventually caught up to me, it opened it's mouth and all I saw...was darkness.
Then I was brought back to reality when someone gave me a tap on the shoulder and I grabbed whoever it was and pinned her down, then I realized it was Yellow Zircon.
I immediately let go of her and backed away, I looked around and saw the beach house was completely trashed and then I saw the whole gang inside.
Y/N: What happened here? Why is the house trashed?
Steven: Y/N. You're the one who did it.
Y/N:......What?
Amethyst: Dude, you were screaming and kept breaking things, you almost hit the warp pad too.
Pearl: You're scaring us Y/N.
Garnet: What happened Y/N?
Y/N: I............I-I-I don't know, I don't want to talk about it right now.
Blue Zircon: You need to tell us
Y/N.
Yellow Zircon: Tell us so we can help you.
Lonely Pearl: It's time we help you.
Fable: She's right, you have done enough, it's time we do our part to help you.
Then Peridot walked closer to me and gave me a hug.
Peridot: Please, Y/N. Tell us what's wrong.
Steven: Yeah, so we can help you.
Bismarck: Steven is correct.
Then I just sighed and I summoned my clones to clean up the house, after we were all finished, they all sat in front of me and I cleared my throat.
Y/N: While the Great Reclaim is still happening, I am a very, Very, valuable asset. I am always sent to battle to take back fortresses, Kindergartens, every type of structure overrun by rebels.
Steven: Rebel? You mean us Crystal Gems?
Y/N: No it's a different one, it's the-
Pearl: High Rebellion?
Y/N: Yeah, that one. It's a rebellion where gems who are cocky, jerks, and those who thinks highly of themselves with no shame of what they do, they think that they are better than any gem back on Homeworld, even the Diamonds they disrespect them. And this one fights to take over the Empire, to rule it by themselves and this time, they are the ones on top.
Steven: Ok go on...
Y/N: They gave me the title THE GEM SLAYER.
Steven: But what does this have to do with you're problem?
Y/N: I'm not called The Gem Slayer for no reason, Steven. My first three months alive, I have already....shattered, many gems.
Steven: But why did you shatter them? You should have given them a chance!
Y/N: I did, the Diamonds did, the entire Empire did. But they only think about themselves. I know shattering is bad, Steven. But...
Steven: What? WHAT?!
Y/N: IT'S WAR STEVEN!!! When you are at War you don't expect mercy! THAT'S THE POINT OF A WAR!!! If you can't settle it by diplomacy and peace, it's war!
Steven: But-
Y/N: Steven, life isn't all about Rainbows, Peaches, Pizza, Donut, and Cookie Cats. Reality will tear you apart if you don't fend for yourself, it's the world today, not only in Homeworld, in Earth too. Steven you're just a kid, you're too young to understand somethings in life.
I rubbed my temples and I sighed.
Y/N: Back to the main topic, after that three months, I decided to shatter anyone who stands in my way, then I realized, I...was being brutal, Pink didn't like that. Not only that I also felt bad for the gems I shattered. I kept on fighting, but....I tried my best to not shatter anyone. But I was wrong, like I said before, this is War, the enemy will be unfair and will not show mercy. Everytime I went back to my chambers, I locked myself away until the next mission I am assigned arrived, I killed gems Steven, don't say that I didn't think about their friends, because I did, I can't sleep because of what I did.
Steven looks down in sadness, he knew that I was right.
Y/N: I had no other options, I either bubble their gems or shatter them, I couldn't do anything else back then because I was nothing but a soldier, not a Diamond. 45,369 shattered gems, Steven.
Steven's eyes widened.
Y/N: That type of stuff messes with you and your mind. When the Great Reclaim ended I tried to forget about my past, I tried to get rid of my brutal side. I even begged the Diamonds to wipe my memory away so I wouldn't have to think about those type of things. But no matter how hard I try, he always come back. But this time he was away for a long time.
Steven: He?
Y/N: My past self. He......haunts me, I haven't seen him for thousands of years, I thought that I finally got rid of him, but no! I was wrong.
Then I heared him laugh like a phsyco in my head, then I held my head and all of the Gems looked at me worried.
Past Self: KILL THEM ALL!!! KIIILLL THEEEMMM AAAAALLLL!!!
Y/N: Can you excuse me for a sec? Thanks.
I walked out of the house and I proceeded to the balcony, I breathe deeply and I summoned my Gauntlets and started hitting my head.
Y/N: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
He suddenly silent and I walked back inside the house.
Amethyst: Dude...what was that about?
Y/N: That was him, he spoke again and he....won't leave me alone. Back to the story. I tried my best making it up for the things I've done, but....I made some things worse.
Pearl: How bad?
Y/N: *starts laughing while tearing up* I let them use a damn Warhead! The reason why Russia isn't in the map anymore, the reason why the Soviet Union fell, is because of me. I'm the reason why Russians are scattered all over the whole world. Not only did I kill gems but also humans!
Pearl gasped and she covered her mouth.
Steven: Pearl, what is it?
Pearl: It's the destruction of Russia, Steven. Back before when you were born, in 1996 the entire country of Russia was being attacked by Homeworld, millions of people died that day, and some managed to escape.
Then I started laughing until it turned into crying.
Y/N: I have one job, ONE DAMN JOB!!! I am supposed to protect and help people. Instead I shattered gems and let Homeworld test a Warhead on Russia. I'm such an IDIOT!!! I knew that people won't forgive me for the things I have done so I'm not going to ask foe their forgiveness, I took the chance to start over and help people. But it's coming back, I don't wanna hurt you guys, I don't want to lose you. I love you, all of you. I can't afford to lose another person.
Then I put my hand in my face as tears are running down my face.
Y/N: I'm afraid that I'm going to hurt all of you, I'm afraid that I might be really am just a weapon. Boron told me that I'm supposed to be a batter person than him, but I might be even worse! People think of me like I'm some Messiah but I'm not that kind of person. I'm a person who has blood stains in his hands. I didn't want this, Pink didn't want this, Boron didn't want this.
Then I felt arms all over me, I opened my eyes and saw Steven, Garnet,Amethyst, Pearl, Yellow and Blue Zircon, LP and Fable giving me a hug.
Pearl: Y/N, we know what it's like to be haunted by your past, I still am.
Garnet: It's true that you have shattered gems but-
Amethyst: You only did that to keep them from taking over Homeworld, man. You didn't mean to kill them right?
Lonlely Pearl: And you said that you also blamed yourself for the destruction of a country? It wasn't your faul, you were only a soldier and you didn't have the power to give them orders yet.
Fable: Don't blame yourself for the things you didn't do.
Y/N: But someone had to do something.
Yellow Zircon: You did everything you could, Y/N.
Blue Zircon: And you didn't mean those things to happen, people will understand, and they will forgive you. Because-
Pearl: We-
Garnet: For-
Amethyst: give-
Yellow Zircon: You-
Steven: Y/N.
Then I started crying again while I was still in the group hug. I looked up and I saw my past self leaning against a wall, he was wearing one of my armors again.
He took off his helmet and I read his lips saying, meet me outside when everyone is asleep.
Timeskip
I walked outside and I saw him in the chairs, I walked towards him but I didn't sit.
Y/N: What do you want?
Past Self: To see how well you're doing.
Y/N: Didn't last time you kept attacking me and keep saying that people won't forgive me for what I've done?
Past Self: To show you that people will forgive you even after the things you have done. There are people who will always forgive.
Y/N: Still don't know why you had to tell me that people won't forgive me.
Past Self: That's to encourage you to tell your friends about your problems, you've been hiding them and keeping anyone from knowing it. People will forgive you for what you...we have done.
Y/N: Then why didn't you just convince me to tell them?!
Past Self: I was itching for a fight.
Y/N: Of course you were.
Past Self: And stop thinking about yourself as a weapon, you're a person. Your friends will be there to help you.
Y/N: Thanks. Something else?
Past Self: And I have a warning. For an upcoming threat.
Y/N: Wait......how are you from the past...but have a warning from the future. *visible confusion*
Past Self: Don't question me. There will be a big battle coming, I don't know when, but....you have to be prepared. Things will get bad.
Y/N: I fought in a War before, what difference does this make.
Past Self: It will be tougher, and it will be harsh. You need your friends to help you. And remember the dragon?🐉
Y/N: Yeah?
Past Self: As soon as you see it, take care of it. It will be a big problem. There will be a big fight, I can feel it.
Y/N: I'll keep that in mind. Thank you.
Then he reached his hand out for a shake, I took it and he smiled. Then he started turning into dust.
Y/N: Woah! What's happening to you? You feeling good?
Past Self: My time has come to an end.
Y/N: Whaaaaa?
Past Self: I have nothing else to do, I've done my part. You finally got over your past, you now know that people will forgive you for what you have done, you stopped thinking yourself as a weapon and stopped thinking that you are a hazard to the people around you. Gotta say that you are much harder than I thought.
Y/N: Eh, I'm you remember?
Past Self: And use your armor nowadays, don't let them sit in your gem.
Y/N: Alright, I will.
Past Self: Goodbye, and remember. KAR EN TUK!!!
Y/N: Huh....haven't heared that in a while, Goodbye to you too. KAR EN TUK.
Then he smiled until he completely turned into dust, and his dust was taken by the sea breeze. I stayed in the balcony and admired the view. I finally got over my past, and for that, I thank you.
And Finished.
Another chapter done, this one was enjoyable. I wanted to fill in the question "Why Russia Is Gone" in the show, so you here ya go.
*drinks Vodka while listening to Kalinka Hard Bass and shouting CYKA BLYAT*
And if you know what
KAR EN TUK means you are a GOD!!!
I found this while looking for
Y/N's set of armor, and yes there are more than one set, there are many many more. You'll see in the future. But here I found this.
SMASH
or
PASS
Hope you enjoyed the chapter, because I did, this is YoBoyMcFly and I will see you all in the next chapter.
Mcfly signing off