Ally's POV (lol ik i haven't switched POV's in YEARS)
Getting up was pain for me now.
I felt empty and alone. Like no one loves me and the universe is was out to get me. It seems as though whenever I reach a spot in my life that I'm happy, something ruins it.
First, my dad died. While I was almost done recovering from it, my mother tried to basically pimp me out. Then, after I finally got over being molested, I met Jasper. After becoming strong enough to fall in love and be happy again with Austin, Jasper comes back.
I wouldn't be surprised if my mom popped in, if she's even still alive.
I know Austin and Laura love me, but continuously going through so much pain everyday was getting tiring. I'm so tired of being happy one minute, then crying and stressing the next.
I listened to the apology from Jasper last night. Laura told me to wait until she or Austin could be there for me, but the tape recorder was right there on the counter and Laura wasn't home. I couldn't help herself.
I really wish I would have listened, though.
Staring up at the ceiling, I sigh before pushing myself to get up. I swing my legs off my feet off the bed and head out of my room to the bathroom.
I close the bathroom door behind me and go straight to look in the mirror.
My appearance wasn't pleasant. There's no denying I haven't been sleeping well; the bags under my eyes would tell it all. My skin was much more pale, almost sickening. It reminded me of when I was with Jasper.
"You're overreacting, Laura," I sigh to my sister as I stood in the mirror. "It's just a hickey."
"Hickes shouldn't have the shape of a hand, Ally."
I stare at the bruise on my neck. Jasper choked me last night. I can't blame him, though. I deserved it. What was I thinking wearing a dress that tight? I had a boyfriend; I shouldn't be dressing like that.
"We got a little rush," I say quietly, shrugging as I ducked my head while leaving the bathroom. "Just leave it."
Before I can move away, Laura grabs my hand with a huff. "Ally. You look like shit."
"Wow, thanks."
"You haven't been eating, sleeping, that boy has been hitting you—" "We we're playing—" "I'm starting to worry."
"Well, don't. I'm fine."
The memories have been coming more frequently lately, but I don't have the energy to panic or cry anymore. I've done it too much lately.
I open up the mirror to grab my pills. My doctor told me it was safe for me to stop taking them, gradually. I went from taking them daily, to weekly, and I was taking them monthly before I went back to taking them daily due to the Jasper situation.
Sighing, I stare at the bottle. I wonder would it hurt for me to take five. Would I overdose? I'm only supposed to take two.
But I'm so tired. Tired of crying, not being able to sleep, feeling like crap... I'm tired of Jasper's bullshit. I am just tired of everything.
Opening up the top of the bottle, I can't help but keep my eyes on the many pills in the jar. Six wouldn't hurt, would it? Maybe seven would help me sleep. Or eight would stop making me think about the Jasper situation.
I mean, they are antidepressants, aren't they supposed to make me feel better?
Maybe fourteen was reasonable. Then I wouldn't have to take them for the rest of the week.
Yeah, I'm gonna go with fourteen.
As I pour the pills into my hand, all fourteen of them, I stare at them for a moment. I shouldn't overdose. I take this many pills in a week. Taking them at all once will have do some good.
I must be lost in quite some thought because I don't realize I'm crying until the tears drop in my hand and I didn't hear the constant knocking on the door.
"God, Ally, I have to shower. I've been knocking for—" Laura pauses her sentence at the scene in front of her. "Ally!"
Laura quickly grabs her hand with the pills and pours them back into the bottle. "What the fuck are you doing, Ally?!"
I stare blankly at the the pills going back into the bottle. I watch as Laura screws the top back on and puts the bottle back in the cabinet.
Laura grabs both of my hands, trying to make me stare at her. "Ally, what the hell were you doing?"
As my eyes meet my sister's, I sniff and shake my head, letting all the tears fall. "I don't know. I'm tired, Laura."
Laura's eyes tear up and she brings me into her embrace, hugging me tightly. I sob loudly into her shoulder. "You're all I have Ally," Laura cries, hugging me even tighter. "We're in this together."
//
Third Person's POV
"I know you know," Ally speaks quietly as they're sitting in a booth, waiting for their food to be served. "You don't have to act like Laura didn't tell you."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I just wanted to take my girlfriend out for dinner."
"Austin."
"Ally."
She rolls her eyes, about to get up from her seat before Austin blurts, "Okay, okay. I know," he sighs, giving her a soft look. "Sit back down, please."
Ally does as she's told with a sigh. "I don't want your pity."
Austin gives her a look. "You think me bringing you on a date is pity? I'm trying to help you feel better."
"I'm already fat enough, Austin. I shouldn't be eating all of—"
"I don't like you like this, Ally," Austin cuts her off, sighing. He moves from his side of the booth to her side. "Look, I know Jasper coming back has taken a huge toll on you, but he's locked in a cell. Faraway from you."
"But I wouldn't've been in this situation if I just listened," she croaks, her eyes starting to tear up. "It's all my fault, Austin."
"No the hell it's not, Ally," he says with a hard voice. He kisses the fallen tear on her face and shakes his head at her. "Jasper treated you like shit. He didn't deserve you one bit. When you don't listen to me, do I get up and choke you, Ally? Smack you?"
"No, but—"
"Exactly, no. Because I love you, Ally. You don't hit people you love. You don't traumatize someone you love, Ally. None of that was your fault. Stop thinking that."
He comes forward to place a sensually slow kiss on her lips. Ally cups his face as she responds his lips, caressing his cheeks with her thumbs.
He pulls away from her at the sound of someone walking their way. Looking over, he sees the waitress coming their way with a shake.
Austin irks an eyebrow as she places it on the table. "Uh, sorry, but we didn't order a shake."
The waitress smiles at the couple, shrugging a bit. "I was over at the front counter and saw tears," the girl says, shrugging as she places the straws down. "On the house."
Ally smiles lightly and giggles lightly as she reaches for the vanilla milkshake. "Um, thank you. Really."
The waitress nods and clasps her hands together. "No problem, hun. Get better. You'll food will be out in a moment, also."
Austin smiles as she opens a straw to drink the milkshake. "That's the first time I've heard you laugh in while."
Ally gives him a smile and pushes the milkshake his way. "Try it. It's really good."
Austin tries the shake and hums in pleasure, licking his lips. "That is good, actually."
Their food eventually comes and they have pleasantly nice date, talking about everything that's been happening the last week. Once they get done eating, Austin puts down a hundred for the tip, just because their waitress did a nice gesture for Ally.
Austin walks Ally up to her apartment. Usually, he'd let her go up by herself, but after the ancident, he always walks with her.
They stop at her door and before Austin could start his goodnight, Ally comes forward to cups his face. Standing on her top toes, she kisses him passionately.
Austin is a bit shocked, but he takes in her gesture. Relaxing, Austin places his hands on her waist and leans down further so she wouldn't have to stretch so much.
Her hands move from his face to clasp themselves around his neck, pulling him closer to her as she depeened their kiss. Austin kind of jumps when she sucks on his bottom lip, making her chuckle against his lips.
She pulls away back just bit, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Come inside."
Austin looks into her brown eyes and licks his lips. Sighing, he shakes his head. "I don't wanna take advantage of you in a vulnerable state, Ally."
"You're not," she promises, running her thumbs across his baby hair on his neck. "I mean, yeah, I'm in a bad place right now, but you're not taking advantage of that. I want this. Not so it can distract me or something, but because I love you, I trust you, and I want to."
Austin lets out a breath, still not losing eye contact with her. "I'm pretty sure Laura's home."
"She is."
Austin irks his eyebrow at her.
"I mean, not to be dark, but I was thinking about overdosing this morning. I'm pretty sure she'd be fine with me having sex tonight."
Austin glares at her, rolling her eyes playfully. "Don't joke about that. Come on."
——
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