Luke's POV
"So, what did you guys want to do today? You know, since we're all together." Calum murmured, glancing at all of us. He was sitting on the same couch as Michael, across from me and Jem, who had my hand resting on her lap as she played with my fingers quietly.
They had been over for awhile, but we barely did anything except just talk. We hadn't seen each other all together for awhile, but now everyone was here. Except Ashton, but I don't think that bothered any of us.
I shrugged, starting to play with my lip ring, "I don't know, we could just stay here. Just to hang out, yeah? We haven't been together, as a group, lately. It'd be nice to just.. stay here." I mumbled, not really knowing how to word it. I felt like they understood what I meant, though, because everyone nodded.
Calum started saying something, but I didn't pay attention to it since I felt my phone start vibrating in my back pocket. Whatever it was made Jem and Michael laugh, though.
Hearing Jem's laugh made me smile and that must have made them think I was paying attention, even though I wasn't. At all.
At first, I didn't bother answering the call. The phone kept vibrating in my pocket, and then it stopped. I assumed it wasn't important, but then it went off again.
"I can feel your phone going off, Luke," Jem said, laughing a little. I blushed and moved my hand away from her lap, slipping the phone from my pocket. I gave them all an apologetic look, because I didn't plan on answering any calls during the time they were over, but the number displayed on the phone screen was the number that made me nervous every time I saw it.
It was the number to the hospital, and they only ever called me over important things having to do with my mum.
"I'm sorry, I have to answer this," I mumbled, getting up quickly. While walking up the stairs to my room so it would be quieter, I tripped over my own foot and I only blushed more when I could hear Jem laughing because of it.
I pressed the "answer" button and took a deep breath before speaking into the phone.
"Hello?" I spoke nervously, thinking about all the possible reasons they could have been calling me for.
On the other side of the phone, a woman started speaking, in a tone that sounded guilty, almost.
"Hello, is this Lucas Hemmings?" She said into the phone clearly. I nodded, which was a dumb thing to do, but quickly mumbled "Yeah," under my breath, but loud enough for her to hear.
There was a short silence, the only sound was papers being shuffled in her hands loud enough for me to hear before she spoke again.
"We're sorry to say that your mother, Liz Hemmings, has passed away today."
I knew she was talking, and I knew everyone downstairs was talking, but it was silent. I couldn't hear anything, and everything felt slow and heavy and I didn't feel strong enough to hold it all.
I don't know how long it was until the call ended, but I do know that I didn't hold the phone long enough to find out anyways.
My back was pressed against my bedroom door, and I slid down it until I was sitting on the floor. Everything looked blurry from the tears that wouldn't stop. I couldn't breathe, it felt like everything came down at once, harshly.
I tangled my fingers in the roots of my hair, tugging at it slightly while I shut my eyes tightly, trying to block out the tears. I could feel the wetness of my cheeks against my palms while I shook, screaming.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands touching mine, shaking them slightly. I didn't know who it was, but I guessed it was Jem by the smallness of her hands and gentle touch.
She spoke loud and clear, taking my hands in hers. I looked up quickly, trying to focus on her. I could still barely see, but I knew that she was close, and that she was saying my name despite everything sounding blocked off and distant, as if someone was yelling at me from a block away.
I blinked a few times, trying to get my vision back while I continued shaking. I felt Jem's smaller frame press against mine and I wrapped my arms around her tightly, trying to feel something.
Once I could see clearly again, I could see Jem curled into my side beside me. Her arms were wrapped around me just as tightly as mine were to her, but she was whispering something to me.
"Are you okay?" She mumbled after awhile. I was still crying, I knew it, but I wasn't making any sound. We were sitting in silence and I had the back of my head pressed against the door.
"No." I breathed out quickly, shutting my eyes again. Jem's fingers were playing with the bottom of my shirt, which almost calmed me a little more. Her fingers would often brush against my skin under the shirt.
I was almost feeling better until I thought back to the call, and I had to let go of Jem to cover my own face.
There had been a lot of times where I had almost cried - or have cried - in front of Jem, and I never wanted to. I never wanted her to know I was like this; that I was so weak.
I knew she was worried. I knew she wanted to know what was wrong with me, but even I didn't know what was wrong with me, it was a lot though.
Jem grabbed my hand again and pulled it closer to her, squeezing my palm a few times reassuringly. I didn't know if she had any idea about what happened, and in a way I didn't want her too. If I had to tell her, I'd probably start crying again. I'd choke up- maybe scream, again.
I was preparing myself for this to happen. I always was ready for when it did. I knew it would hurt, a lot, but I didn't think it would hurt this much. I was waiting for the call, but I didn't want it to happen, I didn't expect it to happen so quick. It felt like everything came down on me at once, and all the feelings I could ever feel were felt at once, but then I felt nothing and I kind of hoped it could have stayed like that.
**
"I can't believe this is happening." I mumbled quietly, trying not to let my voice break again. Jem's hand was holding mine tightly, her hand squeezing mine often reassuringly. It helped. It reminded me I could feel something, and it didn't hurt for once.
We were parked in the half-empty parking lot for the hospital. I don't know why I insisted on coming- there was nothing I could do anymore.
Jem had Calum and Michael leave before we left. I don't know what she told them, but they left after awhile while I stayed in the hall, sitting against my door.
"We can't stay here all night, Luke." She spoke quietly. I knew she'd been staring at the time while shivering- it was cold and I wanted to get home too, just to sleep, but I couldn't find it in myself to leave the parking lot.
I just needed to think, and I'm sure that by the time we got home I would still be doing that.
There were a lot of things on my mind. Like my Mum, and how she's not going to be here anymore. She was in the hospital for almost two months- and despite all the late urgent hospital calls, I wanted to believe she would still get better and she would come home again. Calum and Michael were on my mind, and how they're probably worried, which I felt bad for. Calum has enough to worry and think about already and I didn't want to be one of the things that were on his mind. Jem was on my mind, too. But she was a lot. I knew that she was probably confused right now because I hadn't really said anything about it yet, but I'm sure she caught on. Even Ashton was on my mind. Despite everything, like all of the things he has said to me and how he has treated me, I was still concerned about him sometimes. I haven't talked to him since I last saw him trying to talk to Jem before fighting with me. I don't know if any of us knew where he went, but it wasn't near us and I was okay with that.
"Okay," I whispered, finally letting go of Jem's hand and starting the car, "Do you want me to take you home?"
I glanced at her through the corner of my eye to see that she was looking at me, and I couldn't help but smile. Just a little, though. I think that's all I could manage even if I tried.
"No, I want to stay with you again. I don't want you to be upset alone."
I nodded slightly and looked towards the road as I started driving back to my house. Neither of us said anything after that until we got back to the house while laying in bed in the dark.
We both had the blanket coiled around us tightly in the cold room and we were near the wall that the bed was against. The room was dark and silent, the only sound being our breathing with Jems head was pressed against my bare chest. Her small frame fit perfectly against my own and I couldn't help but try to make us become closer- if possible. We ended up just tangling our legs together with our arms wrapped firmly against each others waists under the only warmth of the blanket.
"I know you're scared, and you're really just trying to forget already," She mumbled into my collarbones, breaking the silence, "But I'm going to be here the whole time. I'm not going to leave you, Luke. I want you to know that. If you need me, I'll be just a whisper away."
//
i.,,. have nothing to say
i actually feel SO bad for doing this but )-: it has been done
pleasepleaseplease comment on this!!!!!! it helps me ok pls
the next chapter will be back to jems pov btw (-: but hey???? who knows if there will be another in lukes pov again though
that is all i have to say!!! i am sorry pls
- liberty 🌟