She was sitting on a barstool and leafed through the newspaper, and on every page popped up the breaking story of the trail of Ivo Sanader ( Former Prime Minister of Croatia (2003-2009) involved in a corruption scandal in late 2010 and sentenced to 10 years in prison on corruption charges in 2012). For a month, stories about the start of the trial of the former Prime Minister had been circulating all over the media. She shook her head because it was already coming out of her ears.
- I haven't slept all night! – Viktor stormed into the bar like a whirlwind.
- Good morning to you too – she smiled, raising her head to kiss him. But he walked right past her as if he did not see her. He was all breathless and flustered.
- My right groin has been hurting all night. I strained it playing football yesterday, and now the pain is not going away. I was reading on the internet about the possible consequences of muscle rupture. I'm in a complete state of shock. I could go lame on that leg or end up having a surgery! – he sat on the chair, all pale and visibly upset. Nora had to bite her tongue to stop herself from making a sarcastic remark. A person with a severe injury would not run around a coffee bar like a headless chicken, but that was just her lay opinion.
- I'm sure you just overdid it. As soon as you rest, it will get better – she handed him his coffee and a glass of water.
- I will not drink anything except water, I made an appointment to see my doctor, and she will see me right now because I told her it was urgent.
Nora stared at him with her mouth open.
- Oh, okay. And you won't drink coffee or eat anything because...? – he looked at her as if she said something stupidest in the world.
- Well, maybe they will have to take my blood.
Nora just shook her head in disbelief.
- Of course, yes... The only checkup you need is the one with a shrink, she thought. She got up and started washing her hands to distract herself from laughing. She would give anything to go to the doctor with Viktor and see him, after the leg and muscle checkup, sitting there and asking the doctor about a blood test. When she thought about it like that, the doctor really could send him to get tested. His head, though.
- I'll let you know how it went so you're not worried – Viktor kissed her hair. Maybe the poor guy is so afraid, he didn't realize he was kissing the wrong side of my head?
- Yes, yes! Be sure to, as soon as you know anything, sweetie – she yelled after him as he walked out. Only then she let herself laugh out loud. God, I'm dating a lunatic.
Her shift was coming to an end as she was discussing job vacancies with Monika, which both of them had been closely following. It was already August, and the heat was hellish. She turned the air conditioner on high, even though it was already 8 PM. Both of them were excited about looking for a job, but no schools had issued any vacancy notices yet, because of the holidays, which made them terribly nervous. Monika worked a night shift that night. They worked in the same coffee bar, which was also a night club on weekends. When she handed the shift off to Monika, Nora went to the store to get some snacks, chocolate, fruits, and cold juice for her patient. He was waiting for her lying on the bed with his leg raised on three pillows. One would think that the leg was ready for amputation, no less. In his small kitchen, where every bit of space was used up in the best way possible, Nora found bowls and filled them with grapes and watermelon. She sat back next to him after she opened all the windows to get at least a gust of wind in. She fell asleep beside him, calm and peaceful. True, he was a weirdo, but he was her weirdo. He was the person with whom she spent her days and whose company she truly enjoyed. Before she realized it, those three months that she could still work on her student contract had passed. But her boss decided to keep her in the coffee bar, so she continued doing the same job, only on a different contract.
*
She could not stand Thursdays. She grumpily flipped through her calendar, counting the days until Christmas and thinking about how much longer she had to work in this wretched bar until some school bothered to issue a vacancy and, on top of that, hire her. She was annoyed at costumers, coworkers, annoyed at her boss, and all of the coffee machines. She was also irritable because she was supposed to start her period. Her breasts ached, and her ovaries wanted to fall out.
- Well, I'll explode until I get it – Nora complained to Monika. They worked this shift together.
- Haven't you got it yet?
- Well, no, I'm due these days – she waved to an older woman to let her know she saw her, the one that every day at the same time ordered coffee with Ledo whipped cream and Pago grape juice. As if programmed.
- I mean, I know we start periods about the same time, and I got mine ten days ago...
Immediately, Nora broke out in a cold sweat.
- When you say it like that, I don't actually know the exact day I'm supposed to get it. I mean, I have all the symptoms, just waiting for the period to start – she hurried to her purse to get a small calendar from her wallet, on which she was writing down her cycles. She counted three times until she was sure.
- Monika, for heaven's sake! I'm eight days late! – she frantically calculated days on the calculator, in case her panicky brain had problems with basic arithmetic operations.
- Are you sure? – her friend looked as terrified as she was.
- Yes! But how is that possible, I've been feeling pain every day. The same pain I feel before every period. Maybe I got a cold?
- Perhaps, yes, or stress. You've been stressing over finding a job – Monika tried to provide her with the last shred of hope.
- Oh, God, I'm pregnant!
- Oh, come on, don't get all dramatic! You just figured that out, like, at this very moment? You will do the test first, and then you can make conclusions – Monika went to serve the woman who waved at them for the third time. Nora felt like running over to her table and stuffing that Ledo whipped cream into her head. Her mind was running a million miles per hour, and her hands started to shake. Jesus freaking Christ, I'm pregnant. But how? I was supposed to start my period every day now, I'm sure these are menstrual symptoms. She grabbed her breasts and squeezed them. She noticed some guy looking at her strangely so she turned away from the bar. Well, they hurt me like crazy, I will get it any second now, I can't be pregnant. Yes, that's right. Although I was nauseous two days ago, and today, but that could be from anything. After all, she had been feeling nauseous before getting her menstruation a lot of times.
- Well, I'm not pregnant – she announced to Monika when she returned. Monika looked questioningly at Nora as she was opening a beer and juice for an elderly couple.
- For real! I have to get my period, but it's still not alarming. If I don't get it until the end of this week, I'll take the test. But I can't be pregnant.
- I agree. After all, I told you exactly that. If you're going to stress about it like this, you're not going to get it anyway. Relax.
Of course, she had a mild nervous breakdown sixteen more times, and of course, she made Monika buy her a pregnancy test that same day on their way home because she was embarrassed to do it, and everyone would look at her and know what she was doing. As if someone actually cared what one Nora Pomat was buying in the pharmacy. And of course, she was biting her nails like crazy in their living room as Monika tried to figure out the test instructions.
- This definitely shouldn't be this complicated! I mean, it's not like you have to finish college to know, excuse my words, how to piss on a piece of plastic! It's their complicated instructions – Monika grumbled because the two of them were still sitting with an unopened test, after ten minutes, trying to figure out the instructions. Neither of them had ever taken the pregnancy test before, so this was a real challenge for them.
- All right, we got it! – Nora clapped her hands. She was panicking, but she was also eagerly waiting to be done with it.
- It'll turn out negative anyway – she concluded.
- It has to. There's no way it won't.
She peed into a cup, and Monika put the test in it right away.
- It says we should wait for ten minutes and then look. If two lines appear, it means you're pregnant. If there is only one line, you're not.
Nora stared at it as if she was trying to prevent the second line from forming by sheer willpower.
- What did you say the two lines mean? – her voice became squeaky.
- Two lines are an indication that you are pregnant, but wait ten minutes; you can't see it right away.
- But I can see it! I see two lines!
Monika ran to the table where that cup stood as a strange trophy.
- Impossible, it hasn't been even a minute.
- Does it say anything about the lines showing up before those ten minutes have passed? Maybe we didn't do it correctly? – Nora hopefully offered a solution.
- No... It doesn't say anything. Maybe that's implied?
Monika leafed through those little instructions of use in all directions as if she eas holding a thousand-page encyclopedia. Nora sat on the couch and stared at the test in the cup. Monika hugged her compassionately.
- Maybe that second line will disappear in ten minutes.
Nora laughed in desperation.
- God, Monika, I'm pregnant!
They looked at each other silently. Of course, it was a Thursday; everything terrible always happened to her on a Thursday. She really despised Thursdays. But for real!
*
- I called a few practices. I managed to get us into one. They will have a free slot around noon, so we have to come, sit and wait. And pay, of course – Monika was really considerate, making Nora coffee and slicing some salami and cheese for breakfast. Nora barely ate anything; her stomach was all knotted up. How was she supposed to wait that long?
The practice was in a private building, on the third floor. The girls entered through the door and immediately saw that it was a private apartment that someone had adapted for this purpose. The doctor worked alone.
- So, you think you're pregnant? Let's take a look – the doctor was really kind and friendly. He remained silent as he prepared the ultrasound. He repositioned himself and began the examination. Nora stared along with him at that black screen with occasional whitish shades. She was desperate to see what he saw in that, as she had no idea what was going on. One moment she was looking at him, another at the screen.
- Yeah... You see, this here is something I would undoubtedly suspect was a pregnancy. However, this is still small, and I can't confirm it with absolute certainty. But if the test turned out positive, I would definitely say it is a pregnancy. If you return in a week, we'll be absolutely sure – only then did he look at her and see her look of dismay. She seemed utterly hopeless.
- This is not the worst thing in the world, young lady. Don't be so shocked; we will talk about everything in a week – he smiled to reassure her. She made some kind of a grimace, hoping it would resemble somewhat to a smile, and hurried to pay him so she could go out to get some air.
Outside, still shocked, she drank the juice Monika had bought her. Her head was in chaos. So that's it, I'm pregnant - she said to herself, probably for the fiftieth time. Besides, she had to tell Viktor now.
It took her twice as long to get to his place than usual. The whole way there, she was trying to come up with a speech. She felt and looked like a dead man walking when she arrived in front of his building. She stared at his window for a moment, took a deep breath, and sighed. Okay, this is it, what's the worst that can happen?
Viktor was lying relaxed on the couch, watching a movie on the TV. As soon as she came in, he cheerfully waved at her, inviting her to come closer. He hugged and kissed her, so for a moment, she forgot about the burden she was carrying. He prepared dinner for them. It was a microwave pizza, though, but Nora appreciated the gesture nonetheless. The whole apartment smelled so nice that her stomach growled. No wonder, considering she had not eaten all day. She took a slice, then another, and eventually ate half a pizza in no time. She was still terribly nervous, but his presence calmed her significantly. She was waiting for the right moment to tell him, so she took advantage of the Coca-Cola advertisement when it popped up. She knew that, usually, commercials lasted longer than a movie bit between them, so she decided to tell him then. After this kind of conversation, it was improbable they would continue watching the movie, anyway.
- Sit down. I have something to tell you.
Alas! What a stupid way to start a conversation. Really? You've been thinking so much about what to say, only to come up with this?
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and sat on a chair, his eyes fixed on her. She was even more uncomfortable now. She wanted to run. Maybe she still could. She could tell him she was just joking. Or that she missed him terribly. Or that they have not had sex in a long time.
Great, Nora, that kind of thinking got you in this situation in the first place. Stop being a fucking coward and spit it out.
- Okay. I'm pregnant.
Direct and to the point. Nora held her breath as she looked at Viktor's face, which was displaying a mixture of shock, understanding, and disapproval. Her heart sunk into her boots. He looked at her silently and rose from the table, strolling toward the door. Wait, what? What the hell? She stared at him. Before he grasped the door handle, he turned to her.
- Oh, fuck – he said so softly she had to strain her ears to hear it. He walked out.