CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
rollercoaster
•••
ᴏᴀᴋʟᴇʏ ᴄᴀʀʀɪʟʟᴏ
Last week literally just kinda happened. I spent my days doing last minute band rehearsals. So much so, that I totally forgot about the release. I hadn't even listen to most of the songs since they came out, delaying the process even more.
I felt myself slowly becoming a piece of shit, and I wasn't the only one noticing it.
"I'm sorry," I said for the third time after singing the wrong lyrics again.
"Having an off day?" Danny asked, throwing a water bottle at me. I could practically feel the judgmental looks from Kaia and Maurice.
Danny was the only band mate I could always get along with. I had not one bad thing to say about him.
Kaia was alright, but she sometimes refused to acknowledge the fact that she made a mistake. I mean, she's a hell of a drummer, but high on her horse too.
Maurice was just a piece of crap, but an amazing guitarist. sometimes he was tolerable. Most of the time, he was a complete ass, though. He's been the source of many rumors about me.
He was quite a bit older than me, and had spent many years touring with various people. I guess he was somewhat mad that I've become so mainstream in the past two years. I mean, I couldn't deny I probably made a lot more money than him.
"Just tired," I answered Danny. "From the top?"
He gave me a nod, and we started over again.
•••
At least ninety minutes went by until we were done. I left as soon as I could and went straight home. Like expected, no one was home. It was a Friday and it was only 2 PM. Trisha was still at school and both my parents at work.
I hated being alone. It always made me feel like shit in more ways than one.
When I was younger, things were different. I got home when my parents and my sister got home. We did practically everything together.
Then I got 'discovered', as people liked to call it. I toured the world, while filling the lonely spots with schoolwork and music.
And then I graduated, and I worked full time on my music career. Every second I was alone, I filled that gap with music.
And now I'm here, not knowing what to do anymore.
I stared at my wall I cluttered with various instruments.
How the fuck did I get here? How did the one thing I always used to escape reality, become the thing I was trying to escape?
I needed time to orient. Like Nolan did. All I had to do was wait until the contract expired in February, which was about four months away.
The tour would start in about two weeks, and would be ready in December. At least in that time they wouldn't be expecting any more music.
I checked my phone for like the sixth time the past half hour. Nothing was happening and everyone was busy. Maybe touring wouldn't be the biggest tragedy...
Nolan:
Saturday?
I immediately sat up straighter when the message popped up.
Of course I asked him when he was free as soon as I got the chance. We haven't met up lately because he was busy filming and stuff. I was busy rehearsing and having those god awful interviews.
You:
I'm free this Saturday
You:
Free-ish
You:
Wait, are you on a break?
Fuck, I was being annoying.
Nolan:
On a break-ish
I chuckled as I waited for his next reply.
Nolan:
Sorry, I gotta go...
Nolan:
Wait for me?
You:
I'll wait for you 🙃
Why was I still smiling? And when did my room get so hot all of a sudden? And why did my stomach feel like I was going down a rollercoaster at a hundred miles an hour?
And why is none of this anything unheard of?
Maybe, at this point, I actually knew what this meant. Yet I convinced myself today was just an odd day. Nerves could cause the sudden clamminess. Nerves could cause the slightly faster heartbeat and the butterflies in my abdomen.
But what was causing the nervousness? The tour, which I've done countless of times before?
Nolan:
Great :)
And my smile returned. Maybe it didn't matter, where it came from. Because it felt great.
•••
Author's note
Hi people! Thank y'all for 1k reads! (1.2k even!!!!!!!) I hope you're still enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it 😊
On another note, sorry for the later update... I didn't know what to write at first, and once I finally figured out, I got so busy... thanks for sticking with me though :) and I would've posted this yesterday, but I fell asleep during editing 🤭
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