~ ~ ~ ~ MEGAN’S POV~ ~ ~ ~
I lifted myself slowly out of bed, attempting not to wake Sam who still seemed fast asleep. I felt the sunlight shining through the exposed balcony hit my skin, warming me up just a bit considering I was still naked. I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around me and Sam’s relationship, but nothing was more important to me.
I heard stirring behind me, and eventually a soft mumble, “Come back to bed…”
I turned, looking over Sam who was lying on her stomach which allowed me to take in her naked back. Ever since she had showed me all her scars it was hard not to let my eyes travel to them, but I just thought they made her more beautiful.
I whispered, “It’s already ten.”
She smiled, which caused my heart to flutter in excitement. She looked so sexy with her messy blonde hair and sleep still in her eyes.
She protested, “But we’re on vacation.”
I kneeled on the bed, bringing my face close to hers, “I know but I would love to go shopping today.”
She just looked at me longingly, which was something that melted my heart every time she did it. She swung her arm around my torso and pulled me back down into the bed. I landed on top of her and laughed, realizing that I had never experienced Sam being so playful and happy.
I cupped my face in her hands, “You look beautiful when you wake up.”
She never really said anything back to me whenever I complimented her, and I figured it was because she still wasn’t used to it. It was sad really, but I was just hoping the more I did it the more comfortable she would become with the idea of actually knowing how to go about accepting a compliment.
But instead she just responded by kissing me, which I accepted willingly as her soft lips pressed against mine. We were tangled in the bed sheets and I could feel her hands running along my exposed back, feeling her warmth against my skin.
I honestly wouldn’t mind waking up like this every morning for the rest of my life…
Did I really just think that?
I pushed the weird thought out of my head and kissed her, “Come shower with me.”
This obviously got her going as she nearly jumped out of bed, “Don’t have to ask me twice.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed as she followed me to our bathroom we had all to ourselves, “But that gets you out of bed?”
She smirked as she turned around, kissing me before turning on the shower, “Anything that involves us being naked together is motivation at its best.”
I laughed quietly as I responded, “That’s so typical.”
“You know me well.”
~ ~ ~ ~
I glanced at Sam who was sitting in the passenger seat next to me, watching her gaze out the window. I was grateful Shawn had decided to take a cab instead of the rental, proving that he really was an amazing person for not forcing me, Sam, Blair and Tony into a taxi for the day.
I still felt a little guilty considering I was kind of with his little sister, and he and I never got the chance to actually talk about it.
I mean, I didn’t feel like I needed permission, and considering he had obviously invited me to Tampa I knew I shouldn’t be stressing about it, but I was. Shawn was my best friend, and I still didn’t know where he stood on me and Sam’s relationship since he seemed to have known for longer than when he had initially told Sam.
But approaching the subject was a little weird.
I parked at one of the many malls Tampa had to offer, stepping out and falling into stride with Sam. I had decided to take it slow with her and see exactly what she wanted out of her and I, but I hadn’t told her any of this. I didn’t want her to feel pressured to make any rash decisions before she was ready, like she had with Emma.
I wanted her to initiate whatever we were whenever she was ready, because I knew this was still all new to Sam.
We walked into the mall and I studied everything, seeing a few stores here and there that I would want to shop in. There was just one thing bothering me, and that was how everyone’s eyes seemed to stare at Sam.
I always considered myself a little territorial when it came to girls I cared for, especially with Nikki considering we had actually been a couple and people still hit on her knowing she was with someone. It was something we had to deal with on a daily basis, but when everyone looked at Sam it lit something deep in my stomach, and it made me awfully uncomfortable.
I knew it shouldn’t because I knew Sam cared for me, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous considering I couldn’t do anything to show people she was mine. Because she wasn’t mine, and I had promised myself for Sam’s sake that I wouldn’t display anything in public that might make her uncomfortable unless she specifically did it.
And knowing Sam she would probably never be the type to display PDA in public, so I was stuck at a dead end.
I watched Sam as she seemed not to take notice to all of the attention she was pulling from other people, and for some reason she just seemed not to even care… but I cared. A lot.
Then I felt her hand slip through mine as we continued strolling through the mall, and I had to admit this caught me off guard. Feeling her soft hand in mine made me smile as she looked at me, “I don’t like all these people staring at you.”
I laughed to myself as she laced her fingers into my hand, silently telling everyone to back off and move on.
And I couldn’t help but be a little proud of her.
I spoke, “I didn’t think you were the type to show PDA.”
She shook her head, pulling me closer to her, “I’m not, but I’m just doing this so people stop eye-fucking you.”
I smirked at her jealousy, feeling happy that it wasn’t just me feeling that way. Knowing that the feelings Sam and I shared were mutual helped me accept the fact that maybe it could work one day down the line, but it knew it could be a long time from now.
I wanted Sam to grow and develop first, because this was something she had never experienced, but I wanted to be by her side helping her discover it.
And the last two months with her had been successful. I was just praying it continued going good.
Then suddenly I felt Sam pulling me in a direction, seeing her excitement brought me right out of my day dream. I followed her, along with Blair and Tony as she brought us to a billboard that held a giant poster advertising the Tampa LGBT Pride Festival.
Sam looked at me, “We have to go.”
I read, seeing that it was in fact being held this upcoming weekend, Friday and Saturday to be correct. We weren’t taking a plane out of Florida until Sunday morning, so I knew we would have plenty of time to go.
Blair chimed in, “We’ve never been to one of these festivals!”
Sam looked up at me, “Have you?”
I nodded, “Once, I was a junior in college and I went to New York one summer, it’s really a blast.”
Sam smiled, “Now we definitely have to go.”
I remembered the memories of the festival and how much fun it had been, at the time I had been single and not really familiar with my own sexuality. I had gone to support Naomi who was originally from New York and had gone to visit her family before the fall semester, just in time for us to make the parade.
And I knew experiencing this with Sam could be a good opportunity for us, and very memorable at that.
I smiled, “Of course we’re going to go.”
Sam and Blair yipped with excitement, and I could tell that this would be a good experience for Sam. Where we lived didn’t have anything like this, we lived in a small, mediocre town, and even though we had quite a few LGBT members in the town, a festival like this never happened.
After seeing the bulletin and agreeing to go to the festival this weekend we were all pretty excited. Walking around the mall was a blast, and we had really killed a lot more time than I would’ve estimated. Spending time with Sam was so easy, like breathing almost, except at times she actually made it hard to breathe.
I watched as her excited blue eyes flickered up to mine, showing me a side of her I had never seen. She looked so happy and carefree, vulnerable and just like she should be. She deserved to be happy for once, and seeing her like this here with me, well it made my heart swell in my chest.
It didn’t take us long to migrate from the strip mall to the board walk, and I was glad we did because it was beautiful outside. Sam and I were walking a good distance behind Tony and Blair who seemed to be in deep conversation, and I was grateful for the alone time with Sam.
I couldn’t stop looking at her, I couldn’t keep my heart from slamming against my chest, and I couldn’t stop wondering what it would be like after this vacation. I knew it had just started and I should be enjoying but I couldn’t help but think about the future. I loved being with Sam like this, carefree and open, and I really I hated thinking about returning to hiding when we got back.
She looked at me, sensing my eyes on her and I watched her tousled blond hair whip around her flawless face. She smiled, “You’re starting to stare at me now. I thought that was my thing?”
I felt myself blush slightly, “I have the freedom to do whatever I want here.”
We were walking slowly down the board walk, smelling the sea air as I listened to the seagulls overhead. Sam seemed to be extremely happy, and I had to admit it was magnificently attractive on her.
“How can you expect me to keep my composure whenever you’re looking at me like that in public?”
I watched her glance at me again, moving closer to me as I responded, “I wouldn’t blame you for losing control, I mean look at me.”
She laughed slightly, rolling her eyes as she wrapped her arm around my waist. I felt my heart beat profusely in my chest being this close to her in public, realizing I still had paranoia deep down even thought we were in a completely different state.
But we were safe here.
Sam spoke, “Do you ever think back on how we used to act with each other? Like all the fighting and stuff?”
I nodded, “I do, and the fact that we’re actually here with each other seems like a miracle to me.”
“God I know, our relationship could’ve gone to shit really fast, but for some reason it didn’t.”
She was so right, and I was thankful that it hadn’t. Getting to know Sam had been a maze, a very fascinating and scary maze, but the more I figured her out the more I seemed to care about her. She was so complex, which was another thing I just adored about her. She was so special to me, and I wondered if I would ever get the right chance to tell her that.
Because currently I was too afraid to possibly overwhelm her.
“Did you ever hate me?”
Sam’s fire-lit eyes took me in, flickering to my lips and back to my eyes before her smile faded slightly. She took in a deep breath, “I don’t know if I hated you, hates pretty strong I think. I definitely disliked you at times, some more than others of course, but I didn’t hate you. But I was convinced you hated me whenever you were literally making my life hell.”
I asked curiously, “When did I make your life hell?”
She groaned, laughing, “Seriously? When you birthday cock-blocked me, when you black-mailed me into assisting you with the softball team, when you got me grounded for months… Shall I continue?”
I felt bad all of a sudden, “No, it’s fine.”
I fell silent, feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt because of what I had put Sam through. I knew I had done it out of mostly good intentions, maybe with some hostility at some points but mostly good.
Sam noticed my absence, “Don’t get sad, I know why you did all of those things now…”
I looked at her, “Why?”
She smirked, “Because you care about me, and you were trying to protect me, or whatever.”
I smiled, shoving her slightly, “You were on a dangerous path Sam…”
She nodded, “I know.”
Knowing I had a lot to do with Sam growing up and getting a healthier lifestyle made me feel better about all of the messed up shit I had done. She had quit smoking, weed and cigarettes, she had decreased her alcohol consumption tremendously, she was committed, and she even had gotten a job. She had really turned into a different person, a different but good different person.
She took in a deep breath, pulling me closer into her body as she asked, “So, what’s your type? I already figured out most I think, tall, blond, arrogant… but I’d like your help filling in the blanks.”
I shrugged, “I try not to have a type.”
She looked at me, rolling her adorable eyes, “Megan, everyone has a type, whether they know it or not. I want to hear what you love in a person.”
Hearing Sam talk like this amazed me, mostly because I knew she wasn’t a romantic like I was. She had her cute moments I think, but for the most part she wasn’t the ‘lovey-dovey, call you baby’ type. So her asking me this took me by surprise.
I answered, “Well, you want to hear physical, personality…? What?”
She smirked, “We’ll start with physical.”
I smiled at her, feeling blood rush to my face under her stare. I never really thought about physical all that much, simply because if I fell in love with your personality I would eventually think everything about that person was beautiful, flaws and all.
But I would try my best for Sam, “I obviously like blonds with light eyes and cute dimples.”
She smiled, showing me her own, “Like mine?”
I nodded, “Just like yours.”
This time she blushed, “What else?”
I dug deeper, “Um, well let’s see… I guess I like girls about the same height as me, not to short, and athletic, simply because I’m athletic myself.”
Sam nodded, asking away, “And personality traits?”
I smiled, glad that we were getting to my favorite part, “I love a girl that’s intelligent, not just book-smart but street smart. She knows what’s going on in the world, and she has opinions about things like political issues and religious beliefs. It’s super boring to be with someone who doesn’t.”
She groaned, “Well, I’m not that book-smart…”
“You could be you just don’t try, which I don’t blame you because high-school is a piece of shit, but college is much different. I learned so much in college it was overwhelming almost, just about everything…”
I watched the look on Sam’s face change, “Guess that’ll be another thing I won’t have.”
I comforted, “Sam, you don’t have to go to college to learn about the world.”
She groaned, “I know but, it’s like, everyone puts so much pressure on kids to go to college and they bust their asses during high school and taking the SATs and shit. Then when people ask me what I’m doing after high school and I say ‘I’m not sure yet’ they look at me like a failure, and it sucks feeling below everyone else.”
I would never understand how Sam felt about this, simply because I had been one of those kids to go to college and graduate, but judging by her tone of voice she was obviously upset. I hated her thinking that she was a failure simply because school honestly wasn’t her thing, and she had every right not to know what to do after high school.
She was only nineteen for Heaven’s sake.
I responded in an attempt to make her feel better, “Sam, I don’t believe an eighteen or nineteen year old is supposed to know what they want to do with their lives after high school. They haven’t even experienced life yet, and when people expect them to know what they want to do with the rest of their lives is seriously the most ridiculous thing ever.”
She looked at me, “But you went to college and you’re doing what you want to do.”
I sighed heavily, “Sam, I’m honestly not doing what I initially want to do. When I went into college I knew I wanted to teach, I was good at it, but history? Yea, right. Then I took a history class and the Professor was so passionate about what she did, it made me realize I actually loved college history. She didn’t just teach me important dates, she taught me different perspectives on the world, she taught me how fucked up history used to be, and how we obviously need more people like her in colleges around the world.”
Sam was just staring at me in awe, so I continued.
“High school history isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life, I want to become a history professor at a University, but that requires me getting a doctorate degree.”
She shook her head, “I thought you had that?”
I shook my head, “When I was in college I was struggling financially, I couldn’t afford it. I have a bachelor’s degree, which is why I can’t teach any higher than high school, I would need to go back to school to be able to teach at a university.”
She rubbed her head, “This is confusing.”
“I know.”
She eyed me, “So, you want to teach in college, that’s your ultimate career goal?”
I nodded, “I do.”
“Why?”
I sighed, “Well, the pay is a lot better, but that’s not why. College you have so much more freedom to teach, they expect you to bring up world issues, they encourage it actually. The world’s changing rapidly, and educating the upcoming generations is extremely important to me.”
“I think it’s sexy when you talk about things you love.”
I looked at Sam, seeing her watch me like I was the most magnificent thing she’s ever seen. I loved having all of her attention, and when she looked at me like that it really got to me, in a good way.
I nudged her, “So what do you want to do? Not like career wise, just in general.”
She smiled, shrugging, “I don’t know, I just kind of go with the flow.”
I rolled my eyes at her, laughing because she was so haunt about her personal dreams, “Sam, I know there’s something in there.”
She continued, “Well, I really would like to travel, see the world you know? It amazes me how people live and die in the same town whenever there’s this entire world they’ve never experienced.”
It was amazing to hear that come out of Sam’s mouth, something that was so deep and personal, and something I could honestly relate with. I had always wanted to travel and see the world, but life made that extremely difficult.
I nodded, “Same here.”
I felt her hand slip through mine then, sending waves of excitement through my veins. Every time she touched me I would get that feeling, when she looked at me it made me weak, and I really wanted to know if she felt the same as I did.
She questioned, “So back to my original question… what else do you look for in someone’s personality?”
I smiled, “Um, strong-willed, passionate, and funny.”
She chimed in, “You’re just describing me now.”
I laughed, shoving her as she tightened her grip on my hand, “I don’t like arrogance.”
She looked at me, pulling me into her then and bringing her lips close to mine, “You like it on me.”
I felt my heart slam against my chest as she kissed me. I closed my eyes and touched her face, feeling her hands rest on my hips and sending a tingle down my spine. My hand slowly laced through her hair as I pulled her closer, wishing a moment like this could last forever. I hated parting from a kiss with her, even though most of the time I lost my breath when I did kiss her.
She pulled away allowing me to respond to her, “I guess you’re right.”
She looked down at her phone and spoke, “You know, one day this week we should all drive out one of the beaches off of the Gulf Coast.”
I smiled at the idea, thinking that spending an entire day at the beach would be great. I nodded, “That would be fun.”
She whispered, “And I’d get to see you in a bathing suit all day.”
I blushed slightly, “Oh you act like you haven’t even seen me naked.”
She winked, “Oh I’ll never be able to forget that image.”
“You’re such a horn dog, Sam.”
I laughed as she smiled like an idiot, pulling me closer to her as we continued to stroll down to the end of the board walk. She answered, “I can’t help it.”
Then Blair and Tony joined us, allowing me to ask, “Ready to head back to the condo and get Shawn?”
Blair nodded, “I’m starving too, so maybe we can go eat.”
I flashed the keys, “Then let’s go.”
***A/N***
Here’s another update for you guys, and since its finals week *Long, sad, and exasperated sigh*, I might be absent until this weekend. So enjoy this update!