"But it's not the fact that you kissed him yesterday. It's the feeling of betrayal, that I just can't seem to shake."
~Dean Lewis, 'Be Alright'
~~~
*Type's POV*
I roll over on the soft mattress, purring contentedly when I find the perfect heat source in the form of my mate. To anyone else, I would adamantly deny ever purring, but with Tharn... well, shit. The asshole really broke down all of my walls and settled himself comfortably in my heart. I feel like I can completely let loose around him, without fear of being judged or pushed away. With that in mind, I don't hesitant to curl up into Tharn's side, snuggling close to him.
Tharn wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to his chest. Our legs are tangled beneath the sheets as our bare forms press together. I look up at my mate, and a loving smile spreads across my face. His eyes are still closed as he fades in and out of his slumber. I grin at how exhausted he is, pride welling up in me at the sight of all the purple love bites littering his chest and collarbone.
With Tharn still mostly asleep, I take this time to study my mate. Sure, I've gazed upon him countless times, admiring his godly good looks, but this time feels different. I memorize each portion of his face carefully in a way I never have before. His deep brown hair is curled and fluffy from me tugging on his locks last night, and a heavy night of sleep that gave him adorable bed-head. His chocolate puppy eyes are closed, his long lashes curling up ever so slightly at the ends. The strong curves of his cheekbones and jawline make me melt into the mattress at the pure perfection and beauty that pours from his entire being.
His lips — Moon Goddess, his lips — are so full and pink, the slight swelling of the flesh reminding me how sinfully talented his mouth is. The thought makes me stiffen down below, and I actually have to hold back a moan. A moan brought on from just thinking about my mate.
I scoot closer to him, eyeing the moon-shaped mark on his shoulder. Leaning in, I brush my lips over the sensitive mark. The contact makes Tharn stir in his sleep, and it causes my own mark to tingle. I think it's fascinating how touching our marks can affect us like this, and I briefly wonder if other mates experience the same thing, but that's a question for another time.
I press my lips to my mark on Tharn's shoulder. This time, Tharn's eyes flutter open and he peers down at me.
"Type."
"Hm?" I hum innocently.
"Are you really not tired after last night?" Tharn questions with a raised brow.
I shrug my shoulders. "I was. Then I slept. Now I'm not anymore. So play with me."
The sheet is thrown over us as Tharn tackles me, and I erupt in a fit of shrieks and giggles. The laughter dies down soon and is replaced with heavy moans as Tharn takes me over and over, filling me so completely that I'm sure I'll feel it for months. We switch from different positions; moving from my legs placed high on his shoulders as he moves inside of me at a painfully slow pace, to me on my stomach with my hips raised in the air as he brutally pounds into me from behind, to me bouncing eagerly and fucking myself on his thick cock as he thrusts up into me.
We go until we are completely spent, collapsing together on the bed. After some time, Tharn slips away into the bathroom. I let my eyes flutter in exhaustion, nearly getting pulled into a sex-induced coma. I groan crankily when I'm jostled around, arms scooping me up and lifting me from the warm comforts of the blankets. My nose wrinkles in displeasure, and I hear Tharn softly chuckle before placing a kiss to my forehead. My grumpiness eases when I'm gently set in the large tub, the warm water relaxing my muscles. Tharn slides in behind me, pulling me between his legs until my back is resting against his chest. I lean my head back against his shoulder, closing my eyes and releasing a contented sigh.
Tharn takes his time gently washing me, allowing me to fully relax against him. I soak up the warmth of his love and adoration pouring through our mate bond. His actions are tender and affection, and I'm absolutely relishing it.
"I love you," Tharn murmurs in my ear as he wipes a soapy hand across my chest. I turn my head to the side so that we're face to face.
"I love you too," I say with a warm smile, leaning close to press our lips softly together.
I wish we could stay in like this all day — either in the tub or in bed — but I know that's not possible. Thanayong had already told Tharn ahead of time that he would be needed at some pack meetings today. My wolf pleads for me to wrap myself around Tharn like a koala and refuse to let him go, but I swallow it back. It's clear that Tharn is already having a hard time tearing himself away from me, and I don't want to make it anymore difficult for him when he doesn't really have a choice. We're the next Alphas. It would be irresponsible for either of us to prevent Tharn from attending these meetings. As for me, I'll be stuck alone for the rest of the day. There hasn't been a formal announcement regarding my future status as an Alpha, so it's not possible for me to attend the meetings yet. Not that I'm too bothered by it. According to Tharn, those meetings are dreadfully boring.
"I'm going to check on Thorn before I leave," Tharn tells me after getting dressed. I nod my head and reach up to give him a quick kiss goodbye. He smiles at me before walking out of his bedroom, towards Thorn's room. The temptation to listen in on their conversation is nonexistent, and I'm happy with relaxing on Tharn's bed. I bury my face in his sheets, deeply inhaling his sweet scent.
Several minutes later, I hear what sounds like shouting coming from Thorn's room. I can't make out what's being said, and I don't have time to ponder it before I hear Thorn racing away from the pack house. I slip out of bed, securing Tharn's robe on me with the satin sash. Tharn is standing at the top of the stairs, looking exhausted.
"What's the matter?" I ask, pulling his attention towards me. "What happened with Thorn?"
Tharn shakes his head and steps towards me. "It's nothing," he assures me before pressing a kiss to my forehead. I look at him with a quirked eyebrow, and he gives me a small smile. "Let's have dinner tonight, yeah? There's... there's something I need to talk to you about."
I nod my head slowly, desperately wanting to ask what's going on, but knowing better than to push it right now. Tharn will tell me when he's ready.
I trust him.
The day passes by agonizingly slowly, the hands of the clock moving at a tedious pace to torture my extremely bored soul. The house is empty, with Thorn having vanished, and Ampha attending the meeting with Thanayong and Tharn.
Maybe I should visit my parents. It's been a while since I've gone to see them. Plus, a walk sounds really nice.
I step outside, breathing in the refreshingly clean air. It's a quick jog to my parents' house, where my mom smothers me with motherly affection. Both my parents are dying to hear about my relationship with Tharn, which I proudly indulge them. I don't stay for too long as my parents had prior plans to attend a dinner party hosted by another couple in the pack. I hug them both goodbye, kissing my mother on the cheek before heading back out.
I walk down the natural dirt pathway, smiling to myself as I take in my surroundings. The smell of the trees around me, the music of birds chirping, the sound of... arguing?
My steps slow as I catch sight of Lhong and Thorn standing close together. My jaw drops to see Thorn holding tightly to Lhong's hand.
"Zip it!" Thorn orders Lhong, making me raise an eyebrow. "I understand you might still have some issues to work through, and I get that, but you have to know that I don't need to think about anything. I want you to be my mate."
Wait, what?
Lhong and Thorn are mates?
Did Lhong already know? Is that why he was acting so weird when he came to visit?
"Wait, Thorn, just listen—" Lhong tries to speak, but he's cut off by Thorn.
"And I don't care that you slept with Tharn! It was a once time thing, and it's in the past. All that matters is the present, you and me."
Everything around me suddenly goes cold.
Which is odd, considering the rushing of my blood is now pounding in my ears.
That...
I couldn't have heard that correctly.
It's a misunderstanding.
Please, tell me it's a misunderstanding.
"What the hell did you just say?" I hear myself ask, my voice slightly cracking.
They both turn their heads toward me, surprise filling their faces, along with a dozen other emotions. I wait for them to tell me it's not what it sounds like, that it was just badly worded. But by the way both of their faces pale, I know that's not the case.
Shaking my head, I take a few steps backwards. Thorn tries to take a step towards me, only to stop himself when the action makes me stumble back further. His mouth gapes open, but no sound comes out. Lhong is rooted in his spot, but I can see the guilt and pain swirling in his eyes.
No.
This isn't—
No!
There has to be an explanation. There's no way that happened. Tharn would've told me. He would've...
"Lhong seemed like he was upset with me about something. He kept glaring at me the entire time he was here. Do you know what that's about?"
There's a moment of silence when Tharn's eyes are searching mine, and I'm patiently waiting for his answer. I feel fear seeping through our mate bond, although I have no idea why Tharn would be afraid. Did something bad happen with Lhong? Did they get in a fight or something? No, Tharn would've told me if they got into a fight. Tharn tells me everything. Either whatever happened was minor enough for Tharn to forget, or nothing happened, and the fear is residual from seeing Thorn.
"No," Tharn finally answers. "I have no idea."
Tears fill my eyes, and I cover my mouth as a choked sob escapes. Pain ripples through me as another sob breaks free. Thorn takes another step towards me, but this time I turn and shift as quickly as possible, running as fast as I can. My tears steak down my fur as the wind blows around me. I ignore the glances of the other members of the pack that I pass. My claws dig into the dirt with each stride, propelling me forward.
'Type?' I hear Tharn's voice in my head, making my heart crack. 'Type, what's wrong? I can feel your pain. What happened, baby?'
My knees almost buckle at the pet name, but not in the same way they used to. The pet name previously made me melt with need, but now it makes me crumble with agony. I ignore him, running towards my dorm. I shift back before entering the building, not giving a fuck about the gasps and stares I receive for my nudity. I race up to my room and immediately fall to my knees. My hands cover my pounding head, and I screw my eyes tightly shut.
Tharn slept with Lhong?!
And he lied to me about it!
This can't be happening. Please, someone tell me this is one big fucking joke. A cruel prank to get back at me for whatever asshole thing I did to one of my friends.
This isn't real.
This is not—
I need to talk to Tharn. I need to hear it directly from him. Otherwise, I'll just keep driving myself crazy.
'Come to my dorm,' I tell him through our private mind link.
'Your dorm? Why aren't you at the pack house? Type, what's going on?'
I tune him out, knowing he'll be here soon either way. Pulling myself off the floor, I get dressed in loose sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I don't notice what shirt I grabbed until the scent hits me, and I realize I'm wearing one of Tharn's shirts that he left here. Bunching up the fabric in my fists, I bring it close to my face and inhale the scent. His familiar scent calms for me a moment before the tears start to flow again. I don't have to wait long before the door swings open. Tharn is standing in the doorway, panting heavily after, I'm guessing, running the entire way here.
"Type," Tharn breathes out. "Fuck, baby, I thought you were hurt." He moves towards me and scoops me into his embrace. My body instinctively melts into him as his scent overtakes me.
"I am," I mumble against his shirt, tears still pouring down and wetting the fabric. I press my hands against his chest, weakly pushing him away from me. Tharn looks down at me, his arms still wrapped around me despite the extra space I was trying to put between us. His eyes frantically sweep my body for injuries before settling on my tear-stained face.
"Why are you crying?" Tharn asks worriedly. His hands slide up to my face, and he cups my blotchy cheeks. "Baby, talk to me. Please."
I sniffle and lock my bloodshot eyes with his fearful ones. "When were you planning on telling me about you and Lhong?"
Tharn blinks, taken aback by my bluntness. I can hear his heart rate picking up in his chest. He opens his mouth, but I quickly cut him off.
"And don't try lying to me about it. Not again. I already know that you slept him," I say, narrowing my eyes.
Tharn swallows thickly, his hands beginning to tremble against me. "I... I wanted to be the one to tell you."
"When? When exactly were you planning on telling me that you had sex with him?"
"Tonight!" Tharn answers quickly. "I was going to tell you tonight at dinner. I told you I needed to talk to you about something tonight, remember? This was it."
"When?" I question. Tharn furrows his brows in confusion.
"I just told you, tonight—"
"When did you sleep with him?" I interrupt. Tharn's face flushes and he looks down at the ground.
"When I hit my first heat," he admits in a quiet voice. "The craving was too intense, and I knew I couldn't go to you for help. I ended up alone in the woods until Lhong came along, and.... well, you can fill in the rest."
"So you already knew?" I ask, hurt and anger lacing my tone. "You already knew we were mates when you slept with someone else?"
Tharn's eyes become misty with unshed tears. "I... fuck, Type, what else do you want me to say? I'm so so sorry that I had sex with someone else when I should've reserved that right for my mate, for you," Tharn apologizes earnestly. "If I could take it all back, I would. You need to know that I love you. You are the only person I want to be with in that way. You are the only one I have any sort of feelings for. Please say you believe that."
I wipe away the tears gathering in my eyes. "You know, it's funny. You're apologizing for something that, yes, I'm not happy about, but it's not the thing I'm the most hurt over." Tharn shakes his head, not understanding where I'm going. "I want to believe you. I really do. But it's so fucking hard when you lied straight to my face about Lhong."
"I didn't lie! I just... didn't tell you about what happened."
"No, you did lie!" I explode angrily. "I asked you if you knew why Lhong had an issue with me. I asked you. And you flat out said no. You lied to me. And that's what hurts the most. You didn't have enough faith in me, in us, to tell me the truth."
"No, baby! I do have faith in us! I was scared! Please, please say you believe that," Tharn pleads tearfully.
"I don't know what to believe," I murmur. I pull myself out of his grasp and head towards the closet. I can feel Tharn's gaze on me as I pull out a duffel bag and start stuffing my clothes inside.
"Type," Tharn calls out shakily. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I need space," I tell him flatly, keeping my eyes down at the bag. "I need time away from you, I need to cool off for a bit. Alone."
"Don't do this," Tharn begs, his voice filled with the tears I'm sure are now running down his face. "Don't leave me.... I'm sorry, please let me fix this."
My heart cracks painfully under the weight of his hurt-filled cries. My wolf whimpers with the need to comfort my mate, to take him in my arms and reassure him of my love.
But I also need to think about what I need. And right now, I need space to clear my head.
I zip up the duffle bag and grab it with one hand. I barely make it two steps before Tharn is on his knees, wrapping his arms around my legs.
"Please," Tharn asks in a broken whisper. "Don't go. Stay. Don't... don't leave me."
Hot tears stream down my face as I hold back the sob that's so desperately wanting to break free. Leaning down, I pull Tharn's arms away from my legs, not using enough force to cause any pain. Tharn's arms slump to his sides in defeat as I walk towards the door.
"Space. That's all I'm asking for. If you really do love me, you'll respect that," I tell him through the tears before vanishing out the door.
~~~
I hate this and love this
Hate this because it's sad and I know it'll make you guys sad
Love this because I love writing angst and I think every good story has angst
For real though, this has gotten pretty intense for a fanfiction, right? What happened to my little one shot 😂
Comment and vote, but be kind because I wrote this in between anxiety attacks today 😗✌🏼
Until next time,
Gumbie