31 | Heart Eyes
Song: S.L.U.T
By: Bea Miller
November 2, 2018
I haven't gone to school in a month. I've had Mereck, JT and Ashton bring and deliver me my homework and projects. In the last mouth, I've wanted to disappear, completely. I don't feel safe at school not at my own home by myself.
Mereck and I made up too and so did me and JT. But also JT's been more distant from me, so has Ashton, I'm worried. Mereck is mostly at my house with me, before and after school, bringing me work and food. I really do appreciate him.
But me and Gray... Yeah, it's rough. Ever since we kissed, I distanced myself from him. It's the only thing I can do, I can't control myself these days. And who knows what's going on at school for him. He might be beating up Ben for all I know. I wonder if I made him mad.
I never told JT about what happened though. Knowing that I'd hurt her, I don't want her to go through that. I know lying is bad but sometimes it has to be done.
But after Gray kissed me, at first, I didn't think about JT. I felt like we were the only two people in the world. That was our moment. Then my stupid mind had to remind me. Even before he kissed me when the two of us were staring into each other's, gazing at our attractive colors. I felt like I was seeing the old Gray. I know he's still there, he's just hiding something.
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October 16, 2018 ------
Gray's POV
Watching Noah drive away as she left me in such confusion.
No. No no. WHY DID I F*CKING KISS HER? What's wrong with me? First I left her, then she got raped by f*cking Ben, I ignored her when she tried to call because I'm a selfish f*cking piece of sh*t, and now I f*cked up again.
What the f*ck is wrong with me.
I suddenly realized that I'm in my car and driving to Noah's house. As I stopped at a red light, I panicked. What the f*ck am I doing? Don't follow her home. Are you psycho? But the car moved anyway. I started to have heavy breathing as I turned onto the highway. My hands sweaty, and mind, out of it.
Oh, how I lifted her onto the counter, myself in between her legs, hands running through my hair, sending a tingling sensation all over my body, made me crave her even more.
Her lips were so soft, they fitted perfectly against mine.
I've always wanted to kiss her.
I turned into her neighbor, but as I approached her house, my jaw clenched as I saw a second car in her driveway. I parked a few houses away, got out and started to walk. And when I got to the driveway, a certain someone exited her home.
He didn't notice me at first but after I grabbed her and pinned him against her garage door, I think he f*cking notice.
"What the hell?!" Ashton struggled, "what's your problem—?" He shouted, but I covered his mouth. I don't want Noah to see this. I leaned in closer to him, staring him down, glaring holes into his eyes, I growled, "You better not be sleeping with her"
And his expression changed quickly, "what the f— No!" He stated, "I came to comfort her," His eyes followed with mixed emotions. I could see he was having a hard time. "She's been through a lot like dealing with girls, you and horny boys—" he paused because he realized what he just said wasn't in his place to say.
I let go of him and he fell onto the ground, holding his wrist.
"Noah's gay?" I snap. No, she can't be. When I kissed her, she kissed back though.
"No" He answered, whilst getting up, trying to walk away but I blocked him.
"When what is she?" I asked with a tone, my fists in a ball, tightly.
He looked me in the eyes before walking away and saying, "Nothing—just forget it." He walked to his car and soon drove off, leaving me in fear. What if Noah's gay? I just kissed her. Is that why she pushed away? F*ck my life.
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November 2, 2018
Noah's POV
JT finally came over to see me and brought me my homework.
She sat her stuff down and walked over to me, giving me a peck and sitting down. She soon handed me this huge stack of textbooks which made me frown. "Better get to work, all your teachers gave you homework." she laughed out.
I covered my face with my hands, as I whined out, "Nooooooo. Why meee" I dragged the 'e'.
"Stop whining, it's not that hard to do." JT bragged. I uncovered my face and gave her a look. Her eyebrows raised, "what?" she asked while grinning.
"Easy for you to say, you actually like doing homework." I fired back while chuckling. "Whatever. Just do it. it's done tomorrow." She said, walking over to the stairs. "I'm going to use your shower." She said.
"Okay," I said it was almost a whisper. I sat there doing my algebra homework. I heard JT turn the shower on and her closing the shower curtain.
Then I looked up at my coffee table, I heard JT's phone ring. It was facing up, vibrating. I stared at it as it rang out. I kept thinking, should I answer it? No, it's her phone, it's her business.
it was quiet again but seconds later, it rang again. I looked up annoyed. Should I answer it? I glanced up at the upstairs and still heard the shower running. Putting my stuff to the side, I lean over to reach for the phone but as soon as I grabbed it, it stopped ringing.
what?
Without thinking about what I'm doing, I opened her phone and went to missed calls and there I saw no name but heart eyes emojis.
Before I had time to think, I heard the water shut off, I freaked so I placed it back where it was, turning it off and leaving the room to the kitchen.
I held my breath as I walked faster. I'm shocked. I went to the sink and started slapping water into my face. This can't be real. who was that? why heart eyes?
I soon dried off my face and just stared blankly at the wall in total shock. Is she cheating on me? No, Noah doesn't overthink this.
It's a misunderstanding.
Then I heard a clearing if a throat. "Babe," a faint voice spoke out. I glanced up and saw JT only in a towel. I looked at her up and down, I unintentionally licked my lips.
She leaned up against the doorway as her towel was barely on her. She had amazing legs, the way her wet hair went over her shoulders, the small water droplets running down her perfectly tan arms. I bit my bottom lip.
"Like what you see?" she teased. I nodded, but my smile faded quickly, remembering the sudden event involving her. She soon noticed and asked, "What's a wrong baby." I opened my mouth but nothing came out. instead, I approached her, grabbing her face and placing my lips on hers. I could taste her strawberry chapstick already.
Then I felt the towel hit the floor, realizing that, I pulled away, stepping away, I was taking back by the sight before me.
She had a very sexy bra and panties on. Dang, it. I thought she was naked—
Noah! Don't think like that!
She smirked suddenly as she ran her hands down my arms. "So there's is the dance happening in December, the school announced it this morning on the intercom," she explained. Looking me in the eyes she asked, "Would you like to go?" My eyes widened and smiled, surprised. "Yes, of course." That's all I could say at the moment, still wondering about the caller.
We hugged and kissed before I blurted out, "I'm going to start cooking dinner. Oh, also I heard your phone ring." I turned and headed towards the kitchen. "Oh okay, thanks babe." was all she said. in the corner of my eye, I saw her walk towards the living room.
Then I quickly and quietly ran to the doorframe, hiding behind it, I watch her pick up her phone and suddenly smiles She eventually turns her back to me and I die a little inside.
Is she cheating in me?
why would she do that?
did I do something wrong?
is there something wrong with me?
I'm that boring?
Technically Noah, you cheated first.
"Shut up me," I said to myself and walked back into the kitchen and started cooking, the whole time, feeling mad.