Chapter 30
Hey, you coming?
Handling my cigarette with one hand, I texted him back with the other. I'm here... parked on the side of the road behind a thousand other cars.
It wasn't a thousand, but might as well have been. Which was why I was still sitting in my car. I wasn't excited, I was nervous, and I was already tempted to drive home.
Blake texted back a good counter point. Well, you can't let all that make-up go to waste. I'm sure it took ya hours to get ready.
He wasn't wrong. How often do I get the chance to really dress up? And with Blake present? Not often. So, I was wearing one of my favorite open-back sundresses from Nordstrom. It was dark blue with a simple white dotted pattern; it had a tight bust and spaghetti straps. The fabric flowed down freely from just above my waist almost to my kneecaps. It wasn't over the top, but it was pretty – which was what I aimed for my make-up too. I also pinned my hair up, making it look full on the top, and curled some of the loose locks. To say the least... he was right. No way I was going to waste all that work.
After taking a puff, I released the smoke towards my cracked window. True lol. Better be worth it, I texted back.
It will be. Stop stalling, you're already late.
Where are you?
In five minutes, it will be hard to miss me.
What the hell did that mean? Guess I'd have to find out. With that, I took a deep breath, and headed towards the party a few houses down. Walking in my white open-toed sandals, I was confident I looked nice, but I already felt vulnerable.
Despite all the socializing people in sight, I couldn't help but admire the house once I reached it. It was beautiful, tan, and three-stories high. I was a picky person, but it was nice enough even for me (if it wasn't located in the middle of nowhere). Just as impressive was the backyard when I rounded the house, trying to find Blake.
The yard was huge, with trees on each side. Beyond the backyard was a large open field. Probably where the fireworks would be shot off. A near-by radio added background music to everything. Including the huge white tent centered in the yard. It housed several tables, many occupied by people chatting and eating already. Kids were running around, some of them playing yard games set up. Some kids, and adults, were towards the back of the yard, throwing themselves on blue tarps. Yes, Blake's hillbilly slip-and-slide was in attendance like he mentioned. The man did not tell me there would be a dunk tank though! Yeah. A dunk tank! It was on the other side of the white canopy tent with maybe a dozen people scattered around it.
Just then, I understood what Blake meant. It was hard to miss him. Smiling to myself, I walked over to where the people were gathered around the clear tank of water. Blake was sitting on the board above the water, shirtless with dressy khaki shorts. He was also still dry, but there were a few kids in a line hoping to change that. Pausing among the few people watching on the side, I was already amused.
Blake was taunting the boy currently holding the ball. "You sure you want to miss again, Brady?"
He looked maybe 10 or so. "You sure you want to get water up your nose?!" the boy called back. Then, he threw the ball as hard as he could. It missed the metal target next to the tank, hitting the cushion behind it. He scrambled, grabbed the ball, and stood back to try again.
A man standing a few feet away (probably his dad) said, "Last turn, bud, then give someone else a chance."
Focusing this time, he threw the ball again, and... nope. Blake didn't fall into the water, earning him an aggressive stuck out tongue from the kid.
"I'm getting quite bored up here," Blake called dramatically.
Getting riled up by his taunts, all the kids shouted something back at him. It was honestly hilarious. Before the next kid could take his turn though, Blake's amused eyes unexpectedly found me. Seeing I was here, we shared a smile. But immediately, those sweet eyes got caught up looking me over. Hopefully in a good way.
A moment later, he looked back to the kids and gestured towards me. "Now, before anyone else goes, this woman over here needs to try."
Everyone glanced over to me, making my cheeks heat. "Do I have to?"
"You chicken? Ruth, I didn't know you were a chicken...."
"I didn't know your friends would allow such an old man to enter a dunk tank."
A few surprising laughs reached the air. Nodding at my joke, he rested his hands behind him on the board, getting comfortable.
Despite feeling socially awkward with all these strangers, our teasing made me feel bubbly inside. It encouraged me to step up and take the ball. The kids directed me a few feet back. You know, because I was an adult and needed to throw from further back.
"It's okay. You can step up to where the kids throw if that would help."
"You're asking for it," I warned.
His smile widened into a white grin I couldn't stay mad at. I couldn't stay mad at that body either. With his hands behind him, it pushed his chest out, showing off his wide shoulders and bare chest. "You get three tries, Ruth."
Well, I tried. The first throw, I missed. The second throw, I missed even more. God, I did not want to miss again on my third; his taunting made me want to dunk him so bad. However, when I walked up to retrieve the ball for my last throw, he said quietly from a few feet above, "I'm really glad you decided to come."
I tried hiding my automatic smile. "Nice try, but don't suck up just because you're scared." Then, I stepped back to throw again. Eyeing up the target, I threw the ball... and missed.
"Shucks, Ruth, I'm sorry."
Unable to help myself, I quickly jogged up and hit the metal target. The board dropped the grown man into the water with a splash – and oh, it was so satisfying. Grinning, dodging the splash, I heard the kids cheering and the adults chuckling.
Resurfacing, water almost up to his neck, he turned to me. Smiling, he rested an arm on the edge of the tank."Yeah? You enjoyed doing that?"
"Very much. Like, that was more satisfying than it should have been."
To say the least... it was a great start to the cook-out. Though I didn't know a lot of people, Blake still showed me a good time. After dunking him, he was determined to return the favor by escorting me to the adult edition of the slip-and-slide. Multiple tarps were clipped together, covered in water and bubbling soap. He dared me, just once, to slide across it.
"In this dress? Are you kidding?"
"Just slide on your knees," he pushed.
"You're crazy," I said, looking between him and the tarps.
Crossing his arms over his dress shirt he put on (which was slightly sticking to his damp chest), he leaned in closer. "Well... I dare you."
"You dare me?" I laughed, cocking a brow.
He smiled. "Listen, you soaked me, so...."
"What? So you need to get me all wet in return?" I pushed back, smirking.
Eyebrows raising at the direction I took it, he chuckled. "Exactly."
That magic spell he had on me took effect. The spell that let me say 'fuck it' to my way of life. After staring into his coaxing eyes, I removed my sandles and got a running start. Bunching up my dress along my thighs, I jumped onto my knees with a squeal and slid across the mat. Went much faster than before too! Some water and soap kicked up onto my dress, but nothing major. Honestly, even if it had, I don't know if I would have cared; I was shockingly having an awesome time.
However, for how social and popular Blake was, it meant I was forced to meet a ton of people. I was forced to keep up meaningless chit-chat, learned about a random person's career, and the origins of another person's name. Yes, fascinating.
I will say though, when we sat down at one of the round tables to eat, I was at least more comfortable. Chowing on the burgers and baked potatoes, Mel and her husband kept us company before mingling with others. A lot of Blake's employees from the marina and gas station stopped to say hi too. A few were quite entertaining to talk to.
Two young men (maybe my age or a little older) walked up to where we were seated and greeted Blake. Apparently, they both worked for him at the gas station – and apparently were excited to meet me. One of them plopped down in a chair on my left. "You're Ruth, right?"
Smirking, I glanced to Blake on my right. "You talk about me at work, huh?"
Blake exhaled deeply with a smile. "Ruth, this is Tom."
The man standing behind Tom's chair spoke up with an amused smile. "Oh yeah, he talks about you enough. My name is Nick, by the way. One thing he forgot to mention was how stunningly beautiful you are."
"Did Blake also forget to mention that I'm married?" I asked, hiding a smile while taking a bite of my potato.
Tom scooted his chair closer, rested his elbows on the table, and jumped in. "He did actually mention that. You're married to some rich asshole, right? According to the boss here though, you deserve better."
"Oh really?" I was getting a kick out of this – and so were the two young men.
Trying to hide his embarrassment, Blake scoffed and took a swig of his beer. "You two will be lucky if you have a job on Monday."
"I think I want to hear more. What else does Blake say about me?" I smirked, turning more in my chair towards the men. "Does he bitch about me a lot?"
"Oh my god, when you first started working for him, he would bitch up a storm—"
"Bitch up a storm?!" I laughed, turning and smacking Blake's arm.
He tried not laughing while defending himself. "Hey, hey, did you hear them? That's when you first started working for me. I haven't complained about you in ages."
Both of us smiling with excitement, we just searched each other's eyes. "Better not have. Or I'll kick your ass right in front of your employees."
"You're my employee too so you better watch it."
"Which is bullshit, by the way," Nick aimed at Blake with a smirk, drawing our eyes back to him. "I mean come on dude, how is that fair? To have her work for you? She deserves better. I can't imagine what you put her through."
"What are you talking about? She's lucky to be working for me!" Blake exclaimed, making me chuckle.
"Look at her. She's too good looking to be doing hard labor under the sun."
"Jesus." Blake sagged into his seat with a hearty laugh.
"They do have a point, Blake. I think I deserve a raise," I added.
"Oh, that is bull-fucking-shit," he said, making us all crack up.
When the two men left (and after Nick flirtatiously said I should stop into the gas station more), I immediately pounced on Blake. I scooted my chair closer until it was touching his. "So... that was interesting. They sure were eager to talk to me. Must know quite a bit about me." With a giddy smile, I rested an elbow on the table and propped my chin in my hand.
Trying to fight a smile (and the slight blush in his cheeks), he didn't meet my eyes. "What do you want from me?"
I loved teasing him. With my hand propping my face up, I leaned in so he couldn't avoid me. "I think I definitely need to go into the gas station more."
"For what? To give those men that act like boys a heart-attack?" he asked, giving up and aiming those playful eyes into mine.
"To investigate. Why do you talk about me to your employees?"
Air more intensely flirtatious between us, he leaned even closer to my face, only inches apart. "Why do you think?"
"Apparently, at first, it was just to complain about me."
"Hey, like I said, I don't complain about you anymore," he chuckled.
"I'm sure you could," I teased, searching his eyes playfully.
Taking a moment, just staring into my eyes, he spoke in a lower and more intimate voice. "You think I still have complaints about you?"
I'm sure he did. But from how intimate and sweet those words were, I wouldn't question him – or my heart jumping in my chest. All of a sudden, that strong desire returned. Being so close to his face, seeing him get caught up in my eyes, I wanted to close that gap. Desperately. Like, more than usual. God, what was this man doing to me?
I had to wonder if I was doing something to him too. After a few long seconds, he delicately lifted a hand, and tucked one of my loose curls behind my ear. His eyes followed the movement before returning to mine. Somehow, there was even more warmth in them.
I didn't realize just how wrapped up we were with just staring, so closely, into each other's eyes. It took a man standing only two feet away to interrupt us.
"Hey, Mr. McCormick, hows it going?"
Both of us immediately sat back – and then I wanted to die. It was August. Yes, August. Looking up to him, my already fast beating heart nearly dropped out of my body. He was the last person I wanted to see. Not to mention, I am sure he just witnessed that intimate and flirtatious moment between Blake and I. Jesus, what if Sid was around and saw that?! Fuck, it didn't even occur to me rat-face was probably around until now. Maybe it was a good thing August showed up and interrupted us.
Blake, taken-aback (both by him and getting caught up in me), took an extra second to respond. "Oh, hey. Nice to see you again," he smiled, standing and shaking his hand.
Before they could start any small talk, I was already uncomfortable. I stood up and – very nicely – left before I could get dragged into it. "Sorry, excuse me, I'm going to run and get something to drink," I said, calmly retreating towards the house.
Feeling shame, guilt, and paranoia kick in, the sweet and fun time I was having faded away. I couldn't believe I let myself get carried away with Blake. Sure, nothing happened, but man, we've been flirting all day – and got caught up in a visibly intimate moment. How could I let that happen? Sid was very likely watching like the creep he was; I was even told he would be keeping an eye on me more. And on top of that, among all these people I already didn't know, August was here now.
Reaching the back door, I slid inside the large home. I just needed a moment to myself. Weaving through several people, I managed to find a bathroom. Felt like the safest place in the world right now where nobody could get to me – besides my anxiety and thoughts.
I was leaning against the bathroom wall for several minutes (probably even longer). Just... contemplating everything. My eyes aimlessly wandered between the mirror across from me and the tile floor. After several more minutes, there was a vibration against the outside side of my boob. I will never get used to wedging my phone under my bra, but I wasn't going to haul a purse around a party. That's just one sacrifice women must make sometimes.
Pulling it out from where it was hidden next to my cleavage, I opened my phone. Everything okay?
I texted Blake back. Yeah, I'm good. Thinking about heading home though. I'm sorry, I'm just not comfortable knowing he's here. I left out the part that I couldn't shake feeling ashamed, paranoia, and uneasy. Sid might be here, and even if he wasn't, I should not have allowed myself to get so cozy with Blake. Just texting him now even made me feel guilty and ashamed.
You sure? You're the life of the party, city-girl.
Yeah, sorry. Enjoy the rest of the party.
A few moments later, I was walking out to my car. The sun was setting, turning the warm summer sky pink and orange. A couple crickets already started singing in all the trees out here in the country.
Getting in my car on the shoulder of the gravel country road, I took an even deep breath. Starting the car, I lit a cigarette, and pulled out from the line of parked cars. My mind was all over the place. I kept feeling so much shame, but at the same time, I kept selfishly going back to the sweet moments Blake and I shared. God, I just wanted him more and more. And there is no way I was imagining how much more intensity there was between us. Ugh, just recalling how close he got to my face, how intimate our flirting became.... Secretly, I loved thinking about it. About him.
Puffing on my cigarette, arm propped by the cracked window, I was accelerating down the long and vacant country road. Aside from a few spaced out houses, there was nothing but ditches, weeds, and woods. Sid wasn't behind me; then again, he was smart enough to keep his distance. Maybe if I was lucky, Sid kept his distance at the party and didn't see too many intimate moments. Unfortunately, there were a lot of those today. It was like I couldn't help it though.
I mean, everything about him, I wanted and loved. His fun loving spirit, sweetness, and even the fact that he was much older than me was appealing. God, what is wrong with me? I needed to focus on myself, my issues, my kids, and how I cannot afford to want to be with Blake. It wasn't worth—
"Oh fuck," I said out loud after pressing on the brake – and the brake pedal hitting the floor with no resistance.
Heart dropping, my eyes widened. What the hell? It was working before! I hit the brake again. Nothing. I was not slowing down. Oh my god, I couldn't slow down! And I was approaching a turn in the vacant gravel road up ahead. Dropping my cigarette, sitting up, I tried again to brake more. Come on, come on. Brake!
Thankfully, tapping it several times seemed to work. It added some pressure back into the brake pedal and my car slowed. It took hitting it several times, but it only managed slowing the car enough for me to make the turn. Thank god it was more of a curve than anything; I was still going fast.
The road I turned down was even more desolate and out of the way, with nothing around. Which was good; I didn't know what was up with my car. And if I crash, I don't want to hurt anyone. However, crashing seemed like a possibility. The stretch of road ahead was about to end at another turn, and again, I could not slow down!
I tapped my foot, over and over, not stopping. I didn't slow down! Fuck! It worked a minute ago! Oh my god, I wasn't slowing fast enough by just letting off the gas. I needed the brake, this was a short road, and the brake wasn't working, not one bit! Breathing hard, going about 40-something mph still, I stared at the end of the road. It forked off to the right and left, but going straight would put me in a huge ditch. Fuck, fuck, slow down! I kept pumping the brake, stomping on it, and it kept hitting the floor. Come on, come on, work again! I needed to turn, I needed to stop, I was going to fast! Grabbing the emergency brake next to my leg and pulling it did nothing. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I wasn't going slowing fast enough without the brake. Too fast, going too fast to turn, fuck! Oh shit! Before reaching the ditch, I braced myself against the back of the seat, cranked the wheel, and did not make it. Turning fast, the car whipped to the left, but my heart went in the air – along with the car.
Through my squinting scared eyes, the road tilted towards the darkening sky. Releasing a lung-burning scream, I slammed my eyes shut. Not again, I never want this to happen again! I was throw up from my seat into my belt. Then, the inevitable crashing and bending of metal hit my ears. It shook my flipped and upside down car to a stop with finality.
_______________________________________
___________________________________________________
Sorry guys, you know how much I love smashing up vehicles in my books :P Thanks for reading and I appreciate any feedback. It's hard to respond as fast because I have to do it on my computer (my phone hasn't allowed me to respond to comments in ages) but I do read them, love them, and will respond. Anyway, thank you guys! Hope you are hanging in there during this crazy time