"Mm." I stretch as I wake, feeling more rested than I deserve after last night. I look to my side and see Lucy is already awake "You're up."
"Thinking."
"Oh. "thinking."" I say making my best to sound shocked.
"I do think, you know, every so often."she says amused. I chuckle amused.
"And what are you thinking about?"surely she must have something on her mind that keeps her awake.
"You." she states "You inspire me to...I don't know, greater independence, I suppose." I smile but then I look at the light outside.
"What time is it?" it is way to bright to be early morning.
"2:00. We gave half the day to the night." I look at her shocked. No it could not be.
"2:00?" God this could not be happening.
"Mina, what is it?" I hurry out of bed
"I missed Professor Van Helsing's class."
~.~
"Willow bark to ease the pounding in your head." he says placing the glass on the desk in front of me "It tastes awful, but it will work wonders."
I reach for the glass.
"Thank you, professor." I take a long sip and I have to fight very hard with myself not to spit it all out. Oh God this is horrible. I fell a if I am drinking chalk and dirt.
"Miss Murray, am I wasting my time with you?"he asks watching me attentively.
I shake my head. No he isn't. I want to be here more than anyone.
"There are dreams we must fight for. If you want to advance beyond the boundaries
society has made for you, you must fight." he advises
"You're not wasting your time." I tell him hoping to persuade him "Give me a second chance, and I will prove it to you."
He doesn't say anything and I am starting to think I have manage to screw up my chance to become his assistant when he speaks.
"Return here tomorrow morning at 5:00 a.m. sharp. You will report to me as my assistant for the term."
I smile happy and grateful that he was willing to give me a second chance to redeem myself. He wasn't going to regret this. I will be the best assistant he has ever had before. I pick up my things and as I prepare myself to leave the room, I stop and turn around.
"Professor Van Helsing?" I call out making him look at me curiously. I bet he is wondering what I could possibly want now. "May I ask a question, of a personal note?"
"By all means Miss Murray" he consents perhaps a little bit suspicious.
"Do you believe people can be reborn and still keep the memories of their past lives?"I ask before I loose my nerve
"That's an odd question." he says as he pounders about the subject "Scientifically, there as never been enough proof that could sustain the claim of reincarnations, but... religiously many have claimed that the soul can be reincarnated until it's has fulfilled it's purpose on Earth." he explains "The idea itself is very romanticized, Plato himself believed that the universe is one soul divided into equal parts, each assigned to a star, and those who live a full and virtuous life return to their native star, while others return to Earth again and again until they find their true purpose."
"And what about the memories? Surely a new reincarnation would have a clean state?"Mina ponders
"We can only assume at this point, but in my personal opinion, I believe that for a person to retain the memories of a past life, then their death must have been truly violent. So violent that it left an imprint on the soul."
As he speaks that, it's like I can hear the screams and feel the flames around my body all over again. I shudder at the feeling.
"Miss Murray are you okay?" he asks concern
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you Professor"
"May I ask where this sudden interest in past lives comes from?" he asks curious "It is quite unlike you."
"I read a book about it and I waned to know more about it. That is all." I lie, there was no way I was going to tell him the real reason for my interest in the subject. "Thank you for your help Professor, but I really must get going."
"Very well, until tomorrow then, Miss Murray" he says "On time if you please."
I make my way home thinking the entire time about what the Professor had said. Surely he was talking only on theoretical terms but his words actually made sense, and gave me a lot to ponder about. If he is correct then I could be a reincarnation of Ilona, she died in a violent way, burned at the stake for reasons still unknown to me, although I am pretty positive it wasn't because of suspicions of witchcraft. The scene appeared to be more personal. They made her husband watch as she burned alive. It could have been a rebellion against the royal house, he was the prince and by marriage she became the princess.
With so many unsettling thoughts in my head, I did what I knew best and I started writing it all down. Taking notes and observations of every dream, trying to put as much detail as I could. But the question still remained...was Alexander Grayson the reincarnation of Vlad Tepes? They look exactly the same, and if I reincarnated as Mina then why couldn't Vlad reincarnate as Alexander? I have not the slightest idea of what might have happened to him after Ilona died. Did he die soon after? Was he also burned at the stake? So many questions and I knew that only the man himself could provide me with the answers I wanted, but I still needed more proof to believe I would not be making a fool of myself by speaking of this to him. I need to know if he remembers. Sometimes I think he might, there are this times when he looks at me, and his eyes...there is a sadness in them, and I could swear sometimes there is this look of adoration that shocks me to the bone and yet at the same time it's so familiar.
I am surprised out of my thoughts by the sound of the door bell. I put my notes aside and make my way to the front door.
"Coming!" I yell when they play the door bell again. I open the door and I am surprised to see Jonathan. He looked sad, and remorseful. Now that I think about it, I had actually forgotten all about Jonathan today, I don't think I even thought about him once since I woke up. And that should make me guilty but strangely it does not.
"I'm sorry. For everything." he starts saying when I don't say anything "I've been stubborn. I've been so obsessed with chasing my own dreams that I never even took the time to understand yours, and I do." he guarantees me "But I now realize you don't require my protection, and you are in no need of keeping. So, if.. if you could, just let me love you instead."
"You broke my heart Jonathan" I tell him calmly
"I know, and I am sorry for that Mina, I truly am." he says remorseful trying to touch my face, but I decline his touch. He looks hurt by my rejection.
"You behaved in a way I thought you would never behave, and I know you said you didn't mean it, but it was still said, so deep down there is a part of you that believes in it." I tell him trying to keep a straight face during the entire time, now was not the time to shed tears, I had done more than enough of that.
"Mina, I was drunk..."
"That is still no excuse" I interrupt him "I loved you for a big part of my life Jonathan and I thought that you loved me too."
"I do." he says desperate "Mina, I love you!"
"No." I deny "You love an idea of me, you don't love me, not really. Not truly. Definitely not the way I deserve to be loved."
He seems angry now.
"And you think somebody else will love you!?"he asks angry hitting the door. I step back startled by his change in behavior "Men want women who know their place in society!" he seems to regret his words as soon as they came out, but the damage is done. "No Mina, I didn't mean..."
"Get out." I tell him with my hand at the door ready to close it.
"Mina please let me..."
"GET OUT JONATHAN!" I yell hoping that he would listen to me this time.
Thankfully he leaves and I shut the door close behind him. I lean over against the door and I let the tears fall freely. I slide down the door until I'm sobbing on the floor. Even if it was me who broke up our relationship, I still loved him. He was my first love. The man I thought I would marry and have children with, and spend the rest of my life with.
I know I did the right thing by not accepting him back but a part of me feared that he was right. That nobody else would love me, all because I was too different, too independent. A silly thing to be worried about really but I can seem to stop thinking it. Then I think about Alexander and the possibility that he might be the reincarnation of the husband of my past self. Would that mean that we are destined to be together in this life as well? Or does one thing have nothing to do with the other?
So many questions. So little answers. All of this was just giving me a big headache.
Mina broke up with Jonathan! She realized that she shouldn't have to settle for a man that didn't appreciated her for who she truly was, and in doing so revealed a part of Jonathan she had never seen before.
How will this affect the story going forward? You shall have to wait to find out.
Next chapter shall be updated soon!
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