"You Know In All of The Time That We've Shared, I've Never Been So Scared"
PRESENT
August 27, 2011
I do my best to balance my iPhone between my ear and my shoulder while moving some of the sound board dials around. "Hey Reese. How are you doing?"
"Better than you are." The boy's laughter instantly brings a frown to my face. "When did you become the talk of the town sis?"
I groan, giving up with the board and prop my head up with my hand. "Seriously? I don't hear from you in three months and this is the first conversation we're going to have? Do you not have anything better to do than listen to celebrity gossip?"
"Not when the juicy gossip is about my very own sister," Rhys jokes back. "Other than that, what's been going on in the tundra? Texas has been boring as hell." I hear an 'ow' come from his mouth before he adds, "Except for Naz of course..."
The mention of his longtime boyfriend brings a smile to my face. The two met in ROTC when Rhys was 17. Nazareth was a year older and beginning the process for boot camp when my brother finally got the balls to express his interest.
Things were rocky at first, distance being the main problem for the young couple, but somehow, they managed to work everything out. Rhys followed in Naz's footsteps, joining the air force right out of high school and after some time they managed to get stationed in the same place.
It's tough at times, especially since neither of them are 'out' within their military community, but sometimes you just have to do what is socially acceptable to keep from getting your ass kicked. However, with every passing day it seems like the duo may eventually be able to freely be themselves without judgement.
"How is Naz doing?" I can just picture my brothers tan skin turning a deep shade of red at the mention of his boyfriend. They truly love one another and I'm glad that my brother won't have to go through the trauma I did to get to forty-one.
Whispers can be heard from their end of the line before Rhys is back. "He's good. Says we'll come visit you sometime next month." I can just picture him playfully glaring ay Naz from across the room, "Fuckin' kiss up."
"This is why he's my favorite and not you."
My brother gasps, "What do you mean I'm not your favorite? What kind of shit is that Rosemary?"
"Hey! Don't curse at me you dick!" I push myself away from the desk, letting the chair roll across the hardwood floor to grab a piece of gum from my purse. Naz can be heard laughing in the background as my brother tries to find the right words for his rebuttal, but the moment left as fast as it came. "Good luck next time bro."
A few grumbles come from him, "So what are you doing Miss. Famous Lady. Your face is everywhere down here, and I mean everywhere. They're wondering if Dave is going to leave Jordyn for you."
I scoff, "Haven't talked to the dude since '98. There's no way in hell."
"That's what you think big sister." Rhys loves trying to manifest shit, but everyone who knows the whole story knows that Dave and I have no chance. "The two of you will be married before the end of this decade. I'd bet my car."
My jar drops at his statement. His car is his baby. A matte black 1967 Shelby mustang GT 500 with some... upgrades. "Don't say that little brother because I'll be coming to collect my prize on January 1, 2020 if you're serious."
"I'm dead serious Rosemary," Naz can be heard yelling at him in the background, "You and Dave Grohl will be married and living in LA by the end of this decade. It had been said and now will be done."
I smirk, "Well that car is as good as mine then young one. Start saying your goodbyes."
"I think you're a little too confident in yourself this time around Rosemary. Life will catch up with you soon enough"
Rhys and I catch up a little more, laughing from time to time about something crazy that happened to one of us. Me animatedly telling him about the paparazzi that enjoy following me to the dumpster out back while he tells me all about the idiots, he works with trying to get an 'in' with Dave Grohl.
"Well, Naz and I need to head out for our shifts. I'll call you again soon, okay? Don't do anything dumb." He may be twenty years younger than me, but he's still overly protective of me rather than the other way around.
"Why is it always me doing the dumb things? What the hell people?" I groan, "I'm not that bad."
Rhys chuckles, "Tell that to the pins you got in your arm from the go-cart accident a few years ago dumb ass."
"It wasn't my fault!"
"It's always your fault." I hear my brother shuffle around on his end of the line, "I love you."
"Love you too Rhys," and with those final words, I press the end call button.
"Ah," Amy leans back in my second chair at my soundboard that's usually designated for the band or a guest producer. "What a beautiful sibling relationship. I'm with Rhy by the way. You and Dave will so be married by the end of the year."
"Shut the fuck up Amelia." I roll my eyes, pushing out of the rolling chair in hope of getting a fresh cup of coffee and some peace and quiet.
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December 17, 1996
Alexandria, VA
Never in my life have I been in such a rush to get back to Virginia. Always sticking to the more cautious side of driving so I can arrive to my destination in one piece, but here I am, sprinting up the steps to Virginia Grohl's house five hours later praying that she hadn't forgotten young Frances Bean at the airport (even though I know she would never).
By now, I am running completely off the small amount of coffee and slim jims I purchased in Harrisburg on my way home, and that is in no way filling. Just the thought makes my stomach growl.
My knuckles rap against the wooden door three times before resting back at my side, giving my foot reason to anxiously tap as I wait.
When the door opens and Bean comes running out, all of my previous anxiety and stress disappears. Being replaced with love and admiration toward the small blonde girl who is clutching my calf for dear life. "Ginnie you're a-"
When I look up to greet who I thought was Virginia, I am taken aback when I'm met with Dave instead. "Hey Rose..." His shoulder is propped up against the wooden doorframe as I just stand there staring with my mouth agape.
He looked good.
Better than he did a few months ago when Liam and Amy won tickets to see the Foo's in New York City and forced me to tag along. His hair was cut shorter than I'd ever seen it before, and in a way, it made me uncomfortable because it validated how different our lives are now.
"Hey Dave." I tear my eyes away from my ex-boyfriend long enough to see Frances tugging on the flannel wrapped around my waist, begging to be picked up. A groan escapes my mouth as I kneel down to pull her into my arms, "Girl you're starting to get too big for this."
Her blonde curls bounce as she shakes her head from side to side to tell me 'no' and I can't help but run my fingers through them. Lightly brushing through a few knots before kissing the top of the four-year-old's head.
"She's gotten so big..."
"That's what happens with time," I shrug. The last thing I need to do in front of Bean is start a fight, but what's the harm in throwing a small jab at the guy. After everything he put me through in '94, he deserves it.
I hear him clear his throat, moving his hands up to tuck the imaginary strands of brown hair behind his ears. A nervous tick that had obviously not been informed of his recent haircut. "I just can't believe it's been that long..."
"Me neither..." Both of us fall silent after, obviously becoming lost in thoughts of happier days with a small band from Aberdeen, Washington. "So how have things been?"
He shrugs, eyes not meeting my own as he grabs a cigarette pack from his back pocket. "They've been interesting to say the least. How have you been?"
I wanted to be snarky, or maybe even hurtful. Throw my perfect boyfriend in the man's face and boast about all the great opportunities I have lined up once I graduate next year, but all that comes out is a simple. "Good."
"That's good..." His hand cups around the end of his cig, blocking the wind from the lighter in order to spark the white stick. "Do you want one?"
As tempting as it was, I made a promise to myself that while Frances was around me, I wouldn't smoke. She already gets enough of it when with Courtney, and I get more than enough when walking around Syracuse every day. "I'm good right now. Thanks."
"No problem." Things have never been so awkward between the two of us. Not even when we met in that small bar in 1987 was conversation so hard.
We're trying too hard to keep the other happy because we don't want this already doomed conversation to end. The electricity is there. We just need the spark to jump start us. "Are you free to get a coffee later?"
"Um..." I think about the fact that my mother would be home soon and would gladly watch Frances until I get back. She'd just be happy that I'm getting out of the house for once, even if it is with Dave. "Sure."
The corners of his lips tilt up, and I can't help but smile back.
-------
"What did I tell you motherfucker?" I point aggressively as Dave lets out a hearty laugh, grateful that the small local coffee shop is empty with the exception of us. "I told you that you didn't have a stupid voice for years and you never believed me. Now look at your ass."
He shakes his head, a toothy grin on his face as he stares back at me. "I still have a stupid voice Rosemary."
"David shut up, you do not." I groan and lift my paper coffee cup to my lips for a sip. The two of us have been here for what felt like hours catching up. Purposely having skipped over our personal lives to keep the peace. All in all, it was nice to see him again.
He shrugs, gulping down some of his own coffee. The silence giving me an opportunity to finally get a good look at his appearance. With the long hair gone and a baggy polo shirt covering his torso, he looked almost normal. Not the Satan worshiping music lover I've known my entire adult life. There's no doubt in my mind that he'd easily blend into a crowd now, and maybe that was the goal.
One thing in particular stood out to me as my eyes lock on the hand gripping his paper cup.
His left hand in particular. It's bare.
No silver band stuck between the joint and knuckle of his ring finger like it had been in April. "We're separated... Jennifer and I."
"Dave I wasn't-"
"It's fine, honestly." He lets out a sigh before glancing out the display window to the busy nighttime streets. "Things just didn't end up working out. We were too young."
The words felt like they had a double meaning in this sense. Like he was telling me that this would have been the path of our own marriage had we gone through with it. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"Shit happens," He props his chin up using the palm on his hand as he gives me a quick once over. "Life keeps going."
Trust me, I know that better than anyone.
"So, have you done anything crazy or exciting since going to college?" His original lighthearted tone returning, "Jumped off a roof while drunk, partied hard after a big school win, banged any frat guys in a dark corn-"
"Enough!" My face is red hot as he snickers. Proud of himself for making me flustered. "If you must know, I have too much work half of the time to do anything crazy. I go to all of the home lacrosse games though."
"Oooo," Dave raises his eyebrows a few times, "Got your eye on someone?"
The conversation instantly felt weird to me with his question. Of course, I have my eye on someone; I'm dating the captain of the team for Pete's sake, but the thought of telling Dave about Liam made me want to throw up.
Anytime I'm with the guy my mind scrutinizes him. Silently comparing everything little thing the guy does to the musician in front of me. "Not really..." I wouldn't doubt it if Dave saw through my lie.
"Well," I can tell he's lightly biting on the inside of his cheek, "I hope you find someone better than me eventually. You deserve it."
---
Well hello Dave, good to have you back and not acting like a complete ass in this regularly scheduled program.
There will be a flashback in chapter 54 explaining the New York City concert, don't worry.
But yay! They're rekindling their friendship!
Maybe things will work out this time... or not.
So, other than False Starts, I am not writing a 10 part short story AU about Kurt and Rosemary if you guys would also want to check that out. The goal is to hit 10 major points that 'could have been' had Rose and Kurt gotten things right in 1994. It's called 'Mend It'.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm honestly working on the next one already, so it will probably be posted by the end of the day!